


To Sleep; Perchance to Dream

by TheGeekProblem



Series: Thine Evermore [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Romance, Season/Series 07, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 124,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGeekProblem/pseuds/TheGeekProblem
Summary: “I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.”But sometimes, words weren’t enough. Sometimes, the Doctor needed help. Sometimes he needed saving, even from himself, so as she scattered the words, she split herself up, leaving shadows that could help him find his path again. A path that would lead him to her at the end.An Impossible Girl Era Rewrite with Rose Tyler
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: Thine Evermore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201103
Comments: 167
Kudos: 327





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [By Any Other Name](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21431800) by [ChasingtheCosmos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasingtheCosmos/pseuds/ChasingtheCosmos). 



> Hi everybody! I got this idea of how Bad Wolf made more sense to be scattered in the Doctor's time line during my rewatch of series 7 and how Eleven and Rose would have an amazing dynamic together so here I am, rewriting the entire Impossible Girl saga but instead of Clara, Rose.
> 
> I've been working on this for more than a month now, I already have 7 chapters written and plans to finish series 7 with specials. If everything goes well, I may do a rewrite of series 8 and 9 too.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. I also would like to thank my amazing Beta [perunanaama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perunanaama), they truly were the one that kept me going and kept me writing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor has known Rose Tyler from the very begining. He just doesn't know it.

**(1)**

The Doctor stared at the monitor of the TARDIS, not really seeing the information on the screen. Life on Earth wasn’t really to his liking, but Susan was adapting incredibly well, she was starting to make friends while pretending to be a normal student and while secondary level science was no problem for her, human History was becoming a problem, and if they weren’t careful enough they would get caught. The Doctor was taking his time taking her on little trips across human history when she wasn’t at school but some afternoons she liked to hang out in a hole-in-the-wall diner called Rose’s with her classmates, it was their favourite place and it was close to 76 Totter’s Lane, thankfully. Still, the Doctor worried, he didn’t like her adaptability that much, she was starting to get too attached to these humans, what would happen when they had to leave? It will be hard on her.

The Doctor sighed as he finished the modifications on the monitor data. He rubbed his forehead, he really didn’t want to spend too much time on this primitive planet. What Susan saw in all of this, he didn’t understand.

He decided to clear up his head with a walk, maybe he would even buy some of their archaic technology and see if he could salvage something so he could repair the Chameleon Circuit of the TARDIS and leave once and for all. Who knew how much longer they could hide in the junkyard without being found, sooner or later somebody was going to notice and they could get into trouble.

He left the Foreman’s yard and started walking without a destination. As he wandered the streets he felt the ghost of a pull in the back of his mind. Strange, he wasn’t particularly adept with his telepathic abilities, he could barely connect to the TARDIS on a basic level, but he could understand what a pull was. He felt it sometimes with Susan, that touch of the minds, but she had always been more adept at her telepathic abilities than him. 

With interest, he started to follow the pull until he reached a diner, not any diner but Rose’s. He must’ve felt Susan’s mind unconsciously, but she was supposed to be at school and it wasn’t really in her personality to skip classes even when she already knew everything.

The Doctor entered the diner without second thought. It was a normal diner, white walls, red chairs and tables with vases of red roses to match, he presumed, a few pictures of food decorating the place, and a menu painted on the wall near the entrance. It barely had any people inside, he supposed because of the time of the day. A strange aura of lightness surrounded the whole place, maybe that’s why Susan liked it so much. The Doctor sat down in one of the stools at the counter, they weren’t really comfortable but he wasn’t planning on staying long, he was just curious as to why he felt he should be there. There was a menu in front of him so he scanned it.

“Hello! What can I get yah?” the voice of a young woman reached his ears and he raised his head to look at her.

The waitress at Rose’s was a young blonde woman in a light pink uniform, not that much older than what Susan appeared on the outside, with her hair on a ponytail and a smile on her face. There was something about her, but he couldn’t identify what it was, something familiar but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. The pull had also faded away so whatever it was that was calling to him was probably gone.

“Well my dear child, I don’t know if I would like anything you have here.” He answered honestly.

The waitress tilted her head to one side and looked at him in consideration, she straightened quickly and said. “How ‘bout I get yah a cuppa, then?” She didn’t let him answer. She left him there, perplexed by her rudeness.

She returned almost immediately with a cup of tea in her hands.

“You could also get some chips with tha’ if you’re hungry.” She said as she placed the cup in front of him.

He made a face at that, feeling a little bit insulted, he wasn’t a fan of human cuisine– or really, anything of them–, but politely declined the offer. She was called to another table so she left him to his thoughts. He eyed the cup suspiciously and decided he might as well drink it if he was going to pay for it. He gave the tea a sip and was surprised to find it was a really good cup of tea and that he actually liked it. He finished it slowly, and let his muddled thoughts fade away. Maybe there was at least one good thing these humans had managed to achieve.

He worried once again about the storm he felt in his future, the storm he had run away from. Susan had also noticed it. He couldn’t admit to her that he was frightened by it, saying he had been bored by the Time Lords and Gallifrey was easier than to tell her the truth. And really, how would they find them if they hid in this backwards little planet in the middle of nowhere. It truly was the perfect place to hide. He should let Susan enjoy this place for a while more, maybe give her time to say goodbye. It had been just five months since their arrival, it wasn’t that long to be discovered, surely. And after that they could keep on with their travels, running as far away from Gallifrey as they could.

He took Susan away from everything she had known, he should give her at least this.

He sighed and sipped his cup, the tea washing away all of his worries. A balm on his troubled hearts and mind. There was a calming aura throughout the whole diner that kept his darkest thoughts away, the sounds of the people, the clutery moving around, and the music on the radio somehow hypnotic.

“You’re looking better.” The waitress had returned, and as he looked at the clock he realized he had spent an hour in the diner without noticing.

He frowned a little at that. He was a Time Lord, time was part of his existence, and he hadn’t noticed the hour pass at all. He should worry about that. 

The waitress leaned over the counter and looked at him expectantly.

“Yes, I must thank you for that, my dear.” He answered quickly.

“No problem.” She smiled and picked the cup. She was turning to leave, but the Doctor stopped her.

The aura from the diner seemed to cling strongly to the waitress, and the Doctor felt the strange need to know her name.

“What’s your name, child?”

For a moment he thought he saw her eyes sparkle golden, and then she answered.

“Marion.” She smiled and left.

The diner returned to its natural estate. The lightness that had called to him was now gone. The Doctor paid and left the diner, now that the aura of the place had disappeared completely he no longer felt compelled to stay any longer. He returned to the TARDIS feeling more calm than he had felt in days.

After a week, the Doctor had forgotten all about that strange girl at the diner and her strange aura, and was doing his best trying to get rid of Susan’s teachers as the meddlesome humans had discovered them. If he had only listened to his own worries and left the primitive planet sooner none of that would have happened, and he wouldn’t be kidnapping humans across time and space.

  
  
  


**(5)**

The Doctor was walking around a park accompanied by Peri, looking at the trees and the people distractedly. He had planned to land on Ymir, a winter planet so they could go skiing, but instead he had landed in London, 1985. They were now wandering around, looking for something to do to pass the time. Peri, as always, was excited about everything and anything, and the Doctor wished he could share her happiness and excitement. But he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

Life seemed like a burden, carrying his guilt on his shoulders. Adric had been a good kid and now he was dead and it was his fault. He should’ve been taking better care of him. And everything had become so difficult after losing Tegan, his brilliant, brave heart Tegan. Of course, the loss of any companion was always hard on him but her rejection had cut deeply within his hearts, he had felt vile and dirty. And now it seemed he couldn’t find it himself to care for anything at all, (to care for someone as much as he did for her ever again).

He was so lost in his own thoughts that without noticing, the Doctor had wandered off and left the park completely. When he noticed he couldn’t hear Peri’s insistent voice anymore he turned to look at his surroundings only to find himself in a small street. There wasn’t much surrounding him but in the back of his mind could feel a telepathic presence calling out for him. A pull strong enough for him to be curious about it. He was much more adept with his telepathic abilities in this body, he could communicate much better with the TARDIS, and the other presence had a similar signature as his ship, so he decided to follow it. There was also something familiar about it, but he couldn’t place what.

He walked for a couple of minutes through deserted streets and back alleys before turning and finding a lonely antique shop at the end of the street. There wasn’t anything else around it, just the shop. A wooden sign with golden letters, a window display with celestial globes, porcelain figurines and old furniture, a door with roses carved on it. The place looked beautiful, and yet, there was no one inside and no one in the street looking curiously at it. Only him.

He approached the shop quickly and entered, the bell over the door announcing his entrance. As soon as he was inside, the telepathic call vanished. Curious.

The Doctor felt the warm atmosphere surrounding the shop calm his dark thoughts. He looked around for a moment, maybe there was an inhibitor inside the shop or something similar to force calmness in its customers, but that kind of technology wasn’t available in this time on Earth. The sun came through the windows and shined through the multiple reflective objects in the shop. There were dozens of mirrors and suncatchers hanging throughout the place, figurines made of gold and crystal all placed on antique furniture of all shapes and sizes. The place was completely cluttered but still felt organized, giving an air of coziness.

“Just a mo’!” Called someone from the back of the shop.

There was some noise from the back of the shop, a box falling, a yelp, a muttered curse and then steps approaching him.

“Welcome to Bad Wolf Antiques, can I help yah with anythin’?” A young woman greeted him and smiled, and with that he forgot all about the strange atmosphere of the shop.

The girl had blonde hair, in a half up do reminiscent of Madonna, she was wearing a white t-shirt with a black skirt and capris, all paired with sneakers to finish off the look.

“Hello, I’m just browsing.” He wasn’t really, but for a reason he felt like he should stay just a little bit longer in the shop. “I’m the Doctor.”

“The Doctor?” She frowned, oh he liked when people asked. “Doctor what?”

Oh.

“Oh. I don’t get that that often.” He scowled at the shop girl, she just looked at him incredulously. “Just the Doctor.” He shrugged and put his hands on his pockets.

She smiled, her eyes glowing golden with the reflection of the sun (definitely the reflection of the sun). “‘m Rose. Rose Smith.”

“Rose Smith.” He repeated, it didn’t roll off of his tongue easily, but the name Rose suited her quite well.

He looked around the shop again and approached the counter where the jewelry was placed. If it so also happened to be where she would be the closest to him, well, that was only for him to know.

He was going to say something, anything, to keep the conversation going and learn more about this girl and this shop, but his attention was suddenly caught by a brooch on the counter. It was a lily flower in a simple shade of violet, nothing ostentatious or eye catching in particular. Such a simple thing, really, but his first thought was how much Tegan would like it, and just like that his mood shifted back to somber. The shop girl seemed to notice it immediately.

“You a’right?” Rose asked in a concerned voice.

He didn’t answer and picked up the brooch to inspect it more closely, picturing Tegan’s smile.

“That’s pretty. Bet they’re gonna like it.” Rose said and when the Doctor turned to look at her, she specified. “The person you’re thinking of.”

She was perceptive. He didn’t know why but he felt that if he talked to this girl about it maybe he’ll start to move on.

“She left.” The Doctor said simply and put back the brooch. “She travelled with me, for a while, but I guess it stopped being fun for her.”

“Are you travelling by yourself now?” She asked.

“No, but I’ve been thinking about it.” 

“You shouldn’t do that.” She said. “You’ll be rubbish, travelling by yourself.”

He smiled at that, maybe this girl was right. It wasn’t Peri’s fault he couldn’t seem to cheer up, maybe he should give her another chance, travel a little bit more with her, see what the universe threw at him next.

Rose looked at him in silence for a moment, she took the brooch, put it in a small box and gave it to him.

“Here.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“Don’t worry about it. The owners won’t notice.” She smiled and winked at him.

He returned her smile and pocketed the small box. He felt better than he had felt in weeks.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“Just promise me something, Doctor.” She looked into his eyes, and he felt like she was staring right into his soul and there was no way to hide from her hazel eyes. “Don’t travel alone.” 

He nodded and before he could say something he was startled by the bell on the door announcing another presence in the shop. He turned to see Peri standing in the entrance looking around her. When her eyes finally settled on him, she left a sigh of relief.

“Doctor!” Peri’s voice was loud in the silent atmosphere. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Peri! I was just–” He motioned the place where Rose was standing but when he turned she was nowhere in sight.

All at once the warm and peaceful aura of the shop disappeared. His thoughts weren’t as gloomy as they were before he entered the shop, already mitigated by his talk with Rose. He felt her absence acutely. Whoever that girl was, she was gone completely from this place. He felt in his pocket, the small box was still there. He hadn’t imagined her.

He turned back to Peri. “Nevermind, let’s get out of here.” He motioned to the door and they both left the shop. “Where shall we go next?” He found that he was excited with the prospect of exploring new places once more.

“Let’s play a cricket match before we leave!” He said enthusiastically.

With his wanderlust renewed, he left the shop and forgot all about the strange shop girl that had helped him find his way again.

  
  
  


**(8)**

The Doctor was enjoying a party in late 18th century London after finishing watching an amazing performance of the opera Orfeo ed Euridice. He was prone in this incarnation to enjoy a more leisure and extravagant lifestyle. He had been travelling alone for a while, and he found that he enjoyed it very much, but somewhere deep beneath his consciousness he could hear the echo of voice telling him he was rubbish travelling by himself. He also had a really bad memory this time around, easily forgetting names and faces, and let’s not go into the second time he forgot who he was.

People around him were enjoying themselves, laughing and dancing and eating and drinking, but he couldn’t be part of that. If he was being honest with himself, he was looking for a distraction from reality. Gallifrey had called him back home, a storm was coming and he was needed. So he did what he always did, he ran away.

He grabbed a glass of champagne and downed it all in one go, determined to enjoy himself. Drink and forget, that was a human saying wasn’t it. He grabbed another glass but before he drank from it he felt another telepathic presence in the party. He looked around, he felt a gentle call beckoning to follow, so he did, giving his glass to a startled guest as he pushed past them. He was a much better telepath in this body, definitely more time-sensitive, timelines were much easier to see, so even when the pull started to fade he could still find his way to the other presence. 

He walked to the gardens and there in the balcony sat a lonely figure near the fountain looking at the stars. He approached the figure, a young blonde woman dressed in a pink and golden gown. The presence was gone but he found he no longer was interested in finding the other telepat but more interested in the girl in front of him. He could see the strings of her timeline shining with an almost ethereal golden light, hundreds of lines growing and disappearing into the sky, like this girl had been touched by time itself.

“Beautiful.” He whispered before he could stop himself.

The girl turned around startled by his presence, she must have been too distracted daydreaming. He had to force himself to stop looking at her timelines, instead to look at her.

“Hello.” He said with a charming smile, but the girl only looked at him with caution. He frowned, well that won’t do. “I’m the Doctor.” He introduced himself.

The girl looked at him suspiciously. “The Doctor? Doctor who?”

Now that was more like it. He approached the girl and stopped right in front of her.

“Just the Doctor. And you are?”

The girl looked at him intensely, like she was deciding if talking to him was a good idea. He felt somewhat exposed under her stare, her hazel eyes reading deep into his soul. Her face settled and her eyes shone gold with the reflection of the moon for one small second.

“I’m Rose. Rose Marion Prentice.” 

“Delighted to meet you, Miss Prentice.” He smirked and sat down beside her.

She looked nervously at the door from which he had come from. He could see what was going through her mind clearly.

“Don’t fret, my dear. Nobody knows I’m here.” Then he winked at her. “I won’t tell, if you won’t.” 

Rose smiled more easily at that.

“So what is a beautiful lady doing all alone outside a party?” He asked flirtatiously.

She looked pensive for a moment and then she came close to him as if to tell him a secret.

“I’m running away.” She whispered. It resonated with him, the wistful way she said it, like she knew it wasn’t true, she was just delaying the inevitable. “Just for tonight.”

The Doctor looked at her eyes, he could see her desire to make that wish come true, her wanderlust that was most definitely reflected in his own eyes. He cleared his throat softly, using it as an excuse to stop looking at her.

“And what, pray tell, are you running away from?”

She shook her head and turned her eyes to the starry sky.

“What are _you_ running away from, Doctor?” She asked.

“What makes you think I’m running away from something?” He deflected her question, but she wasn’t fooled by that.

She shrugged, “Why else would you be here for?”

He didn’t know if she meant here beside her, here on the balcony, here in the party, or here on this planet. He didn’t know the answer either. He wanted to run away, never to face the tempest he could feel coming. Instead, he sat there with Rose, looking at the sky.

The music inside the party changed to a more lively tune, and people were starting to fill the dance floor. Maybe they could both use a distraction, the Doctor thought and with that he stood and offered Rose his hand.

“Would you care for a dance?”

She looked at him puzzled before she smiled a tongue touched grin that had him faltering for a second, her smile could brighten up the whole city. She took his hand and stood up.

“Yes.”

He led her back to the party and to the dance floor. People around them were laughing and dancing, but they melted from the Doctor’s consciousness. The only person he was paying attention to was the girl in his arms, how she felt, how close she was. Her perfume smelled like roses, he thought it was adorable. Song after song, they danced and danced. They would take small breaks in between songs, he’d say something witty, she would laugh, they would talk and then return to the dance floor. At some point he wondered if her feet were hurting but he couldn’t bring himself to ask her and possibly end their night.

“I feel like I know you from somewhere.” He told her in between dances.

“Do you?” She asked in a cheeky smile.

“I don’t know. My memory isn’t that good this time around.” He answered honestly.

“Maybe we met in another lifetime.” And again her eyes seemed to glow.

“Maybe.” He agreed.

People were starting to leave, so he led her back outside to the balcony, her hand on his arm. He wanted to hold her hand so bad, but it wasn’t proper so he had to conform.

The Doctor looked at the night sky and wondered. He turned to her, grabbed her hands and held them close to him. Yes, he wanted to hold her hand forever.

“Run away with me.” He said sincerely. “I could take you anywhere you want! Come with me!”

She looked at him with wonder, and for a moment he thought she would say yes.

“I can’t.” She said it like she couldn’t believe he was rejecting his offer. If he was honest, neither could he. “I can’t run away from everything that scares me.”

And he could understand that. No matter how scared he was, he had to go back to Gallifrey, face whatever was coming his way. He couldn’t be a coward all his life. The determination in her eyes gave him the courage to face his own battles.

“I understand.” He gripped her hands coming to his own decision. “I must go now. I’ve been running away for so long.” He said but didn’t let go. “I must go home.”

She smiled. He frowned, the future seemed bleak compared to this bright moment.

“I’m afraid I’ll forget you.” He whispered.

He wasn’t good with faces, he wasn’t good with names, how could he keep her in his memory?

“Maybe we’ll meet in another lifetime.” She said.

“Maybe.” He brought her hands to his face and kissed them. “Until then.”

He turned around and started to walk away from her. He didn’t get that far before he heard her screaming his name.

“Doctor!” He turned to her and was rewarded with her smiling face. “Don’t travel alone!”

He left that party determined to face whatever storm was coming, forgetting about the blonde girl he had danced with all night, although her bravery stayed with him through the Time War, even when he couldn’t recall her face or her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it, comments and kudos are always appreciated.
> 
>   
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thegeekproblem)  
> [Tumblr](https://thegeekproblem.tumblr.com)


	2. Retcon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Retcon**
> 
> _(shortened form of RETroactive CONtinuity; first made popular in the comic book world)_
> 
> 1\. (original meaning) Adding information to the back story of a character or world, without invalidating that which had gone before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I ever told you how much I didn't like series 5 and 6? They were just overly produced, overly written and, yeah. So here I am, going through the episodes I think would be perfect for the Doctor to remember Rose, even when Moffat was so adamant on not mentioning her anymore.
> 
> If you noticed that the title of this fic is a Hamlet quote and you're afraid it might get angsty, be afraid.

Regeneration was weird. Not knowing who you really are, running around trying to discover what you like and what you don’t like, how tall you are, what size of shoe you wore. 

That, plus an alien threat, to keep up with tradition. At least this time he hadn’t spent his time in a healing coma. 

Amelia Pond had been an excellent companion, and while he felt guilty about leaving her for 12 years, at least now he could ask her to travel with him instead of kidnapping a child. He had learned his lesson with Adric, no more kids. 

The Doctor felt old (even if this body felt the youngest it had felt in centuries), and he thought maybe he shouldn’t be alone this time around. Travelling by himself hadn’t helped his mental state in his past incarnation, and by the end he had gone off the rails, trying to bend the rules of time to his whim. He had held onto too long, the energy blast from his regeneration destroying the console room completely. He needed a distraction. Run and forget, new life motto.

His ship had remodeled herself, the console room lighter, with glass floors and stairs all over the place, really fitting to this new incarnation it seemed. No memory of the past, a bright new beginning. As he walked around the controls, he caressed his new desktop and looked at the rotor in the middle. New TARDIS, new Doctor, new companion. That’s what he needed, he needed to forget the past, to let go of everything and everyone. A vicious zap to his fingers told him that his ship hadn’t liked his train of thought at all. All the monitors in the room blinked to life and showed a single picture: Rose Tyler laughing inside the TARDIS.

He looked at the monitor mesmerized. These eyes will never see the real Rose smile, these ears will never hear her laugh, this hand will never hold her hand. This new body will never know the warmth of her hug, and the smell of her perfume. He used to make fun of her, of using her namesake as her signature essence, even though he actually thought it was cute. And now he would never smell it anymore. All those things would only live in his memory now, immortalized for all eternity.

It was a sobering thought.

His hearts felt heavy, he didn’t want to remember the pain of his past incarnation, the one that had been born to love her. Distraction, he needed a distraction. This body wasn’t born with an ingrained need to be with her, maybe this time he’ll be able to move on and forget her.

The TARDIS hummed sadly. The Doctor looked to the rotor in the middle of the room and pressed a hand to it.

“Come on, Old Girl. We need to move on.” He said out loud.

The monitors went black for a second and then the normal display in gallifreyan appeared.

“Right! Quick hop to the moon, what do you think?” He said as he pulled levers and pushed buttons to take him to a new adventure before returning for Amelia.

\-----

_ “All that pain and misery and loneliness, and it just made it kind.” _

After saving the last Star Whale and the entire population of Starship UK, the Doctor told Amy to go rest in one of the many rooms of the TARDIS. She seemed desperate for a shower and a new set of clothes so she immediately agreed and left the console room.

He was glad for having these hours for himself, a sort of respite from the running. It had been an emotionally tasking day, being presented with the decision of killing the last Star Whale in the universe or saving the people aboard the starship. He would’ve made the decision, leave the Star Whale brain dead– and kill what was left of his soul–, had it not been for Amy. He had never been so glad to have brought her on board.

He wanted to rest, take a quick kip before the next adventure, he was due to have a sleep cycle soon anyway. The image of the library came to his mind, his personal library that he had shared quiet moments with  _ her _ back in those days. Maybe not there. Neither Martha or Donna had known about the existence of that room, and for a reason it didn’t feel right to go now that he had changed his face. 

The Doctor sighed and fidgeted, this incarnation seemed unable to stay still for even a second. He decided to walk the hallways for a bit, burn more energy, search for a new room to rest, maybe go to his own room (why hadn’t he thought of it before?) since he hadn’t been in there since the TARDIS remodelling. Would it be different? Maybe not as much, but it would be nice to know if it had and have an hour of sleep. He could also try to go to the Zero Room, much quicker and refreshing than a normal sleeping cycle, but… It smelled like roses. Maybe not there, then. Some other place, infinite spaceship and all that.

He walked through the hallways, sometimes distracting himself by looking at the rooms in his path. The swimming pool was no longer in the main Library. Good. The galley was the same as always. Excellent. The second galley reminded him of the diner Susan had liked to go when they were on Earth. Weird. What had been the name of that place? He had a perfect memory, he should be able to recall, but the name seemed to escape him. Never mind that. Rooms he knew and others he didn’t kept popping in and out of the hallways as he kept walking.

When he arrived at his corridor he stopped in his tracks. This place had always contained his room only, and was hidden from his companions. Now, in front of his TARDIS blue door was a gold door with gallifreyan markings. He approached the door and peered inside. His breath got stuck in his throat.

It was Rose’s room. He closed the door to read the markings he had previously ignored, it was her name.

Her door had never been like this before, he should know, he spent two years knocking on this door every morning to take Rose to the next adventure. There were rare nights where he even spent the night since Rose needed comfort, relishing in each other’s warmth, her in jimjams and him in his suit sans jacket. Those had been his favourite nights. 

The door used to be a wooden door with her name engraved to it just like any of his other companions’ doors, nothing special or unusual. So, why had the TARDIS brought it here? Why had she changed it? But somehow it made sense for his ship to put it here. He didn’t want anybody stumbling into and entering this room. Martha had once found it, he had been so upset at the moment he sealed it and asked the TARDIS to never show it to anyone else. For the next couple of years the room moved around the ship and only showed itself to him. 

And now here it was. In front of his own door, in a corridor unreachable to anyone but him.

Why? 

Why here? Why now?

But the TARDIS was for once silent. He sighed and entered his own room, he really needed that kip.

\-----

The Doctor had been travelling with the Ponds for a while now and enjoying it. They were exactly what he needed right now, companions, a family. The TARDIS felt more lively ever since they had started travelling with him, more lived in. There was now noise and laughter in the console room, and even his ship seemed happy.

But recently the Ponds had been secretive, especially after their adventure in 1969, and the impossible astronaut and the silence. There was also the problem with Amy, something was off and he didn’t have enough information to solve it. Everything had been weird for a while.

So of course it was the perfect time for them to travel outside of their universe and have the TARDIS become human.

“The TARDIS is not a human!” He exclaimed outrageously. 

“But I am. Was. Tenses.” Idris said to him. “We became one to protect you, my Doctor.” And he could almost imagine the echo of  _ her _ voice in that sentence. “Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?” 

Her eyes glowed golden, a reminder of something long lost and gone. He hadn’t thought about Rose Tyler in so long, it was like a punch in the gut when the TARDIS mentioned her. He was getting better at not thinking about her, there were days, weeks where she didn’t even cross his mind. He didn’t speak her name out loud, and her image didn’t haunt him anymore. And then things like this happened, where he was forced to remember her.

“That wasn’t the same.” He said in a small voice.

“Of course it was. So, where is she? Where’s my heart?” Idris said. 

He had once said that Rose was the heart of the TARDIS, but he hadn’t thought his ship would feel the same way.

“Gone.” He whispered but the pitiful look Idris gave him had been enough to know. Distraction. “Right! But why? Why pull the living soul from a Tardis and pop it in a tiny human head?” And with that he forced himself to forget about his pink and yellow human.

At least until his ship brought her up again. He didn’t have time for this, he needed to concentrate to keep his friends alive and well and beside him. Why did humans have to be so fragile? After Auntie and Uncle died on him he became more desperate to think up a plan. His TARDIS was dying on him, he couldn’t let that happen.

They walked back to the place where his actual ship had landed, Idris talking a mile per minute.

“My Wolf would’ve liked this. Talking to me.” Idris said.

“Wolf?”

“Or Flower, names, not really my area.”

“Why do you keep talking about Rose?” He asked, an underlying desperate tone to his voice.

“She’s part of me.”

“ _ Was. _ She’s in the past! She’s gone!” 

He just wanted to forget about his pink and yellow human. To run away.

“Maybe you’ll meet her.” She said kindly. “In another lifetime.”

The words echoed inside his head. They were familiar. A soft voice, a small laugh, blonde hair and hazel eyes, but everything was cloudy and he couldn’t remember the details.

Idris smiled, her eyes once again shining golden.

“Maybe.” He whispered. “Right. Save the Ponds.”

\-----

_ “...so you must believe in some god or someone, or they'd have shown you the door too. So what do Time Lords pray to?” _

The Doctor had said it, in his past body. A time in which everything revolved around her, where she was the sun he orbited around.

_ I believe in her _

He still did, he guessed. But how could he say it out loud now, when he was a different person, when he spent so much time running away from the memory of her. 

And now he was running away from the Ponds.

Saving them from him.

He was afraid. He was supposed to die soon. A fixed point in time. And he didn’t want to do it alone. He wished he had a hand to hold.

The TARDIS must have felt his inner turmoil. The monitors activated, showing a video where she was laughing in the console room. She looked so young and carefree. Preserved forever in his memory at the age of nineteen.

She had always been so brave, facing everything even when she was afraid.

Maybe he could be brave, too.

Maybe he could believe in her one last time.

\-----

The Doctor had been thinking about  _ her _ . 

About Rose Tyler.

That in itself wasn’t a weird occurrence, but the thing that made him think of her was.

He was married. To River Song. 

Not a real marriage, no. No telepathic bond or anything. Hell, not even his first marriage back in Gallifrey had a complete marriage bond, it just wasn’t done like that anymore. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t been married before this wedding, he also had married lots of people to get out trouble, and that included Marilyn and Liz the First. But those had been human weddings. This had been a gallifreyan wedding.

The ceremony had felt wrong. Saying those words out loud when the only person he had wanted them to hear was a universe away, never to come back.

He felt so lonely. River had been a mystery from the very beginning, a woman who knew his name, who the more he knew about her the less she knew about him, his first meeting with her being the moment she died. He had been curious, he’s always curious about new things, and he had wanted to know about her more, to solve the mystery she represented. But there had never been an emotional connection between them, there couldn’t be, as long as they kept meeting out of order it would be impossible for them. Oh, he cared about her, truly, but it wasn’t love. River could believe that she was in love with him all she wanted, but he was only an idea in her head, an obsession. He wished he could give her everything she wanted, everything she wished for. She deserved better, he deserved better.

And because of that, he was left with the feeling of emptiness inside his hearts. Because he had married again, but he had never been able to tell Rose Tyler how he felt while she was with him. Not this him, at least. Maybe if he had loved her less, he would’ve been able to say it more.

There was also the fact that the Ponds weren’t around anymore to help distract himself from all those painful memories.

And now he sat on the jumpseat, his feet propped up the console, thinking about the girl he had lost. Again.

How many years since he had last seen her, since he had last heard her voice? He had lived so long without her, even longer than the time he actually spent with her, why couldn’t he move on? This body had never been in her presence so, why?

Maybe.

Maybe he could go and see her. Just from a far. He wouldn’t interact or anything. Just to prove a point.

Prove to himself that he had moved on. 

What a load of rubbish.

Still. He stood up, setting the new destination, pulling levers and pushing buttons around the console. The TARDIS flickered her lights happily, he smiled at the rotor in the middle of the room. Rose had always been the TARDIS’ favourite.

“You know where I want to go.” He said out loud, but finished his sentence in a tiny whisper. “Let’s go home.”

The dematerialization sequence started, the groaning of the ship filling him with hope. The echoes of a voice could be heard in the console room, a voice that said the sound of the TARDIS brought hope, but it sounded so far away, not really a memory, not yet. The ship finally stopped and he went to the doors. Before leaving he started to doubt this was a good idea, maybe he shouldn’t do this, it was reckless to cross her time stream like this. 

But.

He opened the doors and stepped outside and tried to ignore all the reasons why this was a bad idea. 

It was a rare sunny day in London 1996, and as he turned around he realized he had parked near Rose’s school. His ship was still far, so it blended perfectly with the background. He saw the kids leave school, he spotted Rose right away as she left the school grounds. Right in this moment, 10 year old Rose Tyler still liked her teachers and her friends liked school. In two years from now he will surprise her with a red bicycle on Christmas Day. A year after that she will start liking boys, a year after that she will meet Keisha, a year after that she’ll stop liking school. And after that she’ll meet Jimmy Stone.

This Rose still had so much to live without his interference, had no idea of who he was, and that’s why it was the perfect time to see her.

He stayed in front of the school a while after Rose had left. He didn’t want people to see him following her to the Estates and think he was some dodgy guy that was stalking kids in Primary School.

The Doctor arrived at the Estates fairly quickly, he was planning on staying just a few more minutes and then returning to the TARDIS, but seeing her there, walking away from him, had been too much. He knew he shouldn’t have come. He was looking for a place to sit and wait when he saw Rose sitting on a bench with a book in front of her frowning. He really should get going, he should leave immediately and leave her alone. He approached her.

“Hello.” He said.

Rose turned to look at him and eyed him suspiciously. 

“Hello.” She said with a soft voice.

“Trouble with your homework?”

This time she sighed and nodded. “It’s science.” She said. “But I don’ get it.”

“Then it’s a good thing that I’m a tutor.” He pulled out his psychic paper and showed it to her. “I’m the Professor, you can call me the Professor.”

She laughed at that. “A’right. Can you help me?”

“Yes, I can.”

He spent the rest of the afternoon helping Rose Tyler with her homework. She was brilliant, even when she had trouble with the subjects, as soon as he explained it for her she nodded and started answering her book. She was curious and she always asked the right questions. It pained him to think of all the hardship that was yet to come for her.

“You look familiar.” She said while frowning at him.

“Really?” He didn’t see how.

She nodded and returned to her notebook to keep writing her answers.

“Why d’ you look so lonely?”

Now that was surprising.

“Why do you think I’m lonely?” He asked.

Rose shrugged. “Your eyes.”

“I haven’t seen my best friends in a while.”

“Why?”

Why, indeed.

“Because I travel. And they have a life of their own.”

“You travel on your own?” Rose turned to look at him. 

Even as a little girl, her eyes had an intensity to them she could never understand. He nodded.

“Don’t do that.” She said seriously.

He huffed a laugh, no humour behind it.

“I bet you’re rubbish by yourself.”

An echo. Another voice, another time. Images fought in his head, none of them clear enough to make out. Déjà vu. He frowned.

“All right. Let’s finish this so you can go back home.”

Rose smiled and nodded.

The Doctor spent the rest of the afternoon in the comforting presence of Rose. She laughed and smiled and frowned. It was a breath of fresh air. 

Rose stood up when she saw Jackie arrive, stuffing her backpack with her books and notebooks. The Doctor also stood up, it was time to leave and let time take its course.

“Thank you, Professor.” She said as she started to walk away.

“Your welcome, Rose Tyler.” He said.

Rose turned to look at him, a weird expression maring her features. She frowned, as if debating what she was going to say next.

“Don’t travel alone, Professor.” She finally said. It felt more like an order than a suggestion. She smiled again and waved goodbye at him. “See yah.”

She turned again and left, leaving him behind just like he knew it should be.

He walked back to the TARDIS, ready to face whatever came next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments keep me writing!
> 
> I'll be updating every Sunday, so I hope you stay around 'till the end.
> 
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	3. Asylum of the Daleks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor missed the Ponds. Travelling by himself was no fun at all. Which is why it is the perfect moment to be kidnapped by Daleks and reunite with his best friends. But the Bad Wolf lurks in the shadows and this just feels like the interlude.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I didn't write the whole scene of "Show me someone I like!" in Let's Kill Hitler in the past chapter. Such an overlook on my part.
> 
> But here we are, finally. The actual rewrite of Series 7. I think this is the shortest chapter rewrite in the fic? I just couldn't work around this episode at all. I thought some of the lines of the Doctor were too stupid, and most reactions and conversations of Clara don't fit with Rose. I did my best though, hope you like it.
> 
> And remember, comments and kudos keep me writing!

The Doctor tried his best to stay away from the Ponds. He knew he was a danger for them. They had a life, a good life, a marriage, they didn’t need him. Amelia wasn’t a lonely kid he could spirit away to adventures anymore, she had Rory now. It was for the best, really.

He had felt better after seeing  _ her _ , he always felt better after that. But it hadn’t lasted, and the hole that she had left had now combined with the Ponds. 

They were his friends, the closest thing he had to a family since, well, since  _ her _ and her mum and her friends. So he had a duty to protect them. Even from himself.

So he travelled, and ran, and ran.

He met new people, even picked up a few strangers once in a while. Not really companions, more like a one off travellers. He had fun sometimes, didn’t really forget about Amy and Rory, but he managed. 

He thought he could escape.

\-----

The Doctor had missed the Ponds, truly, but this wasn’t how he imagined seeing them again.

He definitely was happy to see them, don’t get him wrong, but the circumstances weren’t ideal. He would have preferred popping up for a surprise visit or whisking them away for a small 20 minute adventure, no danger involved. Instead here they stood, surrounded by hundreds of Daleks with no way of escape. Lovely. 

He wondered how long it had been for them, it had been too long for him. He didn’t know how to stay away, even took time to leave them messages in their answering machine, he missed having them beside him. He wasn’t made to travel alone, Donna had known this and she had asked him to find someone, someone that could stop him when it was necessary.

The TARDIS felt empty, and its hallways were filled with echoes of memories past. What he had done to Donna, the way Martha had left his side, and of course the reminders of a broken promise of forever. And that was only his most recent ghosts; centuries being alive had given him enough regrets to haunt his ship for the rest of his life. 

Of course, his ship had favourites. The TARDIS had always liked  _ her _ better, and he could see that she missed her just as much as he did. She had said as much when she had been forced into a human body, asking about her multiple times even when he was trying his best to ignore her. Her image was the one that haunted the time ship the most, her laugh could sometimes be heard in abandoned hallways, her voice calling out his name from the console room. It had been such a long time ago, the TARDIS should’ve stopped mourning her just as he had done, they had to move on. But his ship remained stubborn to let him, like she was trying to tell him something.

He needed to focus on the present, not dwell in the past and his regrets. And the present was that he was surrounded by Daleks with no way of escaping. So, basically, everyday life.

The Parliament started to explain about the asylum, an entire planet full to the brim by insane Daleks, but he really wasn’t interested. He was only buying time so he could plan an amazing escape and then return Amy and Rory to their home, where it was safe and they wouldn’t die because of him. Too much stuff was happening at the same time and if he could focus better he would be able to solve it. 

He looked back at the Ponds, they were murmuring between each other and they didn’t look worried at all but something about their body language was wrong, too far apart from each other, too reserved, too much tension.

Oh. 

Right. 

That happened sometimes, couples drifted apart, just couldn’t stay together anymore, marriages break. Even the most loving ones. The universe was full of all kinds of marriages and not all of them made it through. River and him were a perfect example of a marriage that was only one in name. He cared for her, she was the daughter of his two best friends, but he didn’t love her and she knew that, she was okay with that in some weird bizarre way he couldn’t understand. But with Amy and Rory he could see there was still care and affection underneath the hard masks and the forced indifference they were both wearing, so maybe neither of them wanted this separation to happen. There had to be a reason if they still loved each other.

The Dalek Prime Minister kept explaining their situation but he couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying, it all sounded like gibberish if you asked him. Daleks just never learn.

He felt something, in the back of his mind, a telepathic signature similar to the TARDIS that should be completely impossible. There were no more TARDISes in the universe, just his. So maybe another telepath, but who could have a signature like that? He didn’t have enough time to digest everything that was happening when  _ [Attesa](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHOP-dmRSo8) _ started to play over the speakers of the Parliament.

He felt the pull of the other telepath against his mind, like a gentle hold of his hand. It was soft and warm and safe, and completely distracting.

“This signal is being received from the very heart of the Asylum.” The human puppet said. What was her original name? Darla, right.

“What is the noise? Explain. Explain.” One of the Daleks demanded. And really, they should know that even if he knew he wouldn’t tell them.

But the Doctor was as perplexed as everybody else in that moment. 

“It’s an opera.” He said simply, like that would explain why the signal was coming from a planet full of Daleks. “Attesa, to be specific. Lovely aria.”

Amy and Rory frowned at him and started to demand answers. He should probably explain a little bit at least, but he wasn’t a particularly patient man in this body, prefering to go over the motions until the people around him understood. The Daleks started to scream all at the same time, only making more noise and not helping him at all to focus his attention on solving the problem at hand. He ignored everybody’s questions as he approached the monitor to track down the signal. The only logical answer was that someone had breached the security of the planet and was broadcasting their signal to the outside. But how? Did it have anything to do with the pull he was feeling? It all seemed a little bit impossible. 

Impossible. Again that word, maybe he should retire it from his dictionary.

“Hello? Hello? Attesa.” He started as soon as the communication link was on.

“Hello?” A voice asked over the speakers. They sounded as surprised as the Doctor felt.

Somehow someone, a person, had survived a landing on a planet full of insane Daleks. They sounded human, young, and… familiar? Even though it was slightly distorted through the speakers, the voice still sounded important, like he should know it. Like he could pinpoint it if he just tried. He frowned. He didn’t understand what was happening or why he was here putting his friends in danger, and he didn’t like it at all.

“Come in, Attesa.”

“Hi! Hello! Yes, hello. Do you read me?” The voice now sounded excited, like they couldn’t believe what was happening.

Well, neither could he. The pull was becoming stronger, but he had finally got used to it enough to manage focusing on other stuff and not being distracted by it. It helped that it wasn’t intrusive, it was more like a whisper, a call, so he returned his attention to the problem at hand.

“Yes, reading you loud and clear. Identify yourself and report your status.”

“Oh my God. Are you real? Are you actually, properly, real?”

“Yes, confirmed. Actually, properly, real.” The Doctor answered. “Attesa, identify.” He ordered.

“Right! Yes! Marion Smith.” 

Marion, right, fairly common name, just a coincidence and not at all another distraction for him to overcome. So she was a woman, really young from her voice.  _ Marion _ .

The voice continued oblivious to his internal struggle, “junior entertainment officer, starship Alaska. We crashed and shipwrecked somewhere not nice. Been here a year,” they paused in that moment, “the rest of the crew didn’ survive. There’s not enough provisions left. Not sure how much longer I can survive here.”

He needed to learn how to move on but the name took him back to a much simpler time, a time when he had hope before it had been viciously torn away. Ever since the TARDIS had decided to torture him with her image, he started to think more about  _ her _ . Rose Marion Tyler. He tried his best not to say her name, not even in his head, but the recent intervention of his ship was driving him spare. He tried his best to ignore the hallucinations, but sometimes he would walk the hallways of the ship and come across her room, other times the voice interface would show him her image before he told the ship to change it, and other times he thought he heard a wolf howling in the deep abandoned corners of his ship.

The TARDIS was on a mission to drive him insane and she was succeeding. He should stop getting distracted and focus on what was happening at the moment. Daleks, Amy and Rory in danger, trouble.

“Marion. Right.” Focus, focus. “Pretty name. A year? You’ve been there for a year? Are you okay? Are you under attack?”

“Been hiding, keeping them out.” The voice trembled, as if trying to put on a brave façade.

“Do you know what those lifeforms are?”

“‘m not stupid you know, I know what a Dalek sounds like.” The girl said, sounding a little offended by his comment. 

It brought a smile to his face for a reason, Marion sounded like she was a stubborn little firecracker.

“What have you been doing on your own against the Daleks for a year?”

“Kept myself busy, listened to lots of operas, read Dickens.” She said trying for a little bit of humor in her dire circumstances.

“Good choice, Dickens.” He paused, he should try giving her something. “You’ve been very brave.”

“Thanks.” The voice took a soft, breathy quality, like she needed to believe what she was hearing.

That’s when the Daleks interrupted the signal and his talk with the strange girl.

“This conversation is irrelevant.”

And before he knew it, they were all being transported to the planet’s surface. They crashed in a place full of snow, so they probably were in the arctic circle. He groaned and tried to sit down– weirdly enough, the distracting telepathic signal was gone now. He had a moment to think on how familiar the pull had been, like he had encountered it before but he couldn’t remember when. A blur of places, a familiar shade of blonde, a voice laughing. It felt like a memory but he couldn’t concentrate on it, like it was locked somehow. 

He finally managed to sit down without getting dizzy. He was assessing the damage on his body (none), and his surroundings (not much to see), when a series of eyepieces started to pop up from under the snow. The mechanical eyes kept their attention on the Doctor and then Attesa started playing again.

“You’re here, you’re actually properly here. It wasn’t a dream. I didn’t imagine it.” Marion’s excited voice came through the closest eyepiece to him.

He frowned at the closest eye piece from him, wondering how a human girl could hack into the most impressive system in the whole galaxy. Something was wrong. The whole situation was wrong.

“Attesa girl?”

“Marion, my name’s Marion. You okay there?”

“How are you doing that, eh? This is Dalek technology.”

“Don’ know, it wasn’t that hard to hack.” That wasn’t true, Dalek technology was one of the hardest to hack into. And he should know, he tried.

Wrong.

“Where are you?” He asked instead. He had a mission to complete and friends to save.

“The ship broke up when it hit. Somewhere underground, I think. You coming to get me?” Marion’s voice was hopeful.

Wrong. 

Everything was wrong, this whole situation didn’t make sense, this girl didn’t make sense. How could he help her, when he could barely understand? He should be honest, tell her how impossible it was. He straightened his bowtie and looked at the eyepiece.

“Yes, I am.” He was unable to tell her no.

He felt a compulsive need to give this girl as much hope as he could. Maybe it will all end in tears, but he had to try. He was the Doctor, he needed to help.

They were separated during the crash. At least Amy had landed quite near him, but Rory was somewhere deep in the asylum surrounded by one of the most dangerous creatures in the universe. So the plan was get Rory back, neutralise all the Daleks in this Asylum, rescue Marion from the wreckage, escape from this planet and fix Amy and Rory’s marriage. Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy, oh that’s a rubbish saying.

\-----

After running from their lives from human-dalek zombie hybrids (which in his mind were the most stupid thing of this whole situation), and escaping dozens of insane Daleks, the Doctor, Amy and Rory were all finally safe in the transporter room. Amy was out of danger, now that she had his wristband on and Rory was with her. It will probably help them to talk about the real reason why they grew apart. Rory was a sensitive guy, he would try and talk to Amy. His defining characteristic had always been how much he loved her, so the Doctor was sure they would solve whatever the problem was.

Marion didn’t give him the chance to leave this place without her, so the Doctor went to pick her up from where she was. The place gave him the creeps so he distracted himself on his way talking to this strange girl that had survived on her own for a whole year. It was impossible, and he had a bad feeling about the whole thing. He was sure that he wouldn’t like whatever he found at the end of this rescue mission. 

Wrong.

“So tell me about you, Marion.”

“Not much to tell, really. Orphan, did some bad stuff, got into trouble a lot. I wanted to see the universe, so I ran.”

Her voice was calm through the speakers but it was tinted with sorrow. Whatever her life had been before this, she had been glad to have escaped it.

“What kind of stuff?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Hung out with the wrong crowd, I guess. I tried to run away and that’s how I ended up on the Alaska” She said simply, clearly not wanting to go into details. “What ‘bout you? What do you do?”

“I’m a traveller.”

“Really?” She sounded excited.

“Really. I’m here with my friends.”

“Do you always travel with people?” She asked.

“Usually. I’ve been travelling alone for a while now.” He answered honestly. He didn’t know where the honesty had come from, but something told him that whatever he told her she would keep it to herself.

“You shouldn’t do that. Bet you’re rubbish by yourself.” The tone in which she said was so familiar it brought back long forgotten memories he had buried.

Echoes of a promise made to a redheaded woman during a snowy Christmas, when he had lost the one person that had made him better. A soft sob on a beach on the worst day of his life,  _ ‘On your own?’ _ . A night spent dancing at a party with a girl he couldn’t remember her name or her face, just before the war started. A long forgotten conversation in a sunbathed antique shop, many lifetimes ago when he had lost his best friend, when he had first had a glimpse of how fickle the universe could be.

He didn’t have enough time to dwell on all of those moments, before long he had finally arrived at his destination. 

Intensive Care had been a walk down memory lane, all his past mistakes represented in Dalek form. All that was left from his path of destruction across time and space were these insane creatures that were born from hate, to hate. A hallway of madness and hatred, created by his own hand.

He entered the white room where Marion was, facing the grim reality he had hoped was mistaken ever since she had admitted to hacking into the collective data of the Daleks. A human girl that on her first travel across the stars had crashed into a Dalek planet and had been converted. Not a hybrid, but a full conversion.

How do you make a Dalek? You sustract love, but apparently it had been impossible for them to fully convert her so they had chained her and left her forgotten in the Asylum. She created a dream in her head for her to live in, to survive this nightmare, and there was nothing he could do to help her.

“Marion, we have a problem.” He told her quietly.

Breaking the illusion this poor girl had created for herself had been cruel, but what else was he supposed to do? Take with him an insane Dalek that could put the people he cared about in danger? Not a chance. 

“It's a dream. You dreamed it for yourself because the truth was too terrible.”

But breaking the fantasy Marion had constructed had been too much and the Dalek part was starting to take control. He could clearly see how the creature was struggling to face reality, fighting for consciousness. Could he still call this Dalek a girl? It had been one, a long time ago. But the real Marion Smith had died when they had converted her into this.

The Dalek struggled in its chains, managing to escape with the clear intention of killing him.  _ This is it _ , he thought,  _ this is the end. _

But for some impossible reason, Marion consciousness won over. Whatever memory she had held on to had been stronger than a Dalek conversion.

“Run.” the Dalek said.

“What did you say?” He couldn’t believe it. 

He had only seen one other Dalek show mercy before, and that had been because of Rose. His fantastic Rose. Her DNA had been powerful enough to rewrite the consciousness of a Dalek, and teach him mercy after he thought there wasn’t any left inside him.

“I've taken down the forcefield. The Daleks above have begun their attack. Run!”

“Marion–” But he was interrupted.

“Run, Doctor.”

“Thank you.”

The Doctor ran as the bombardment started. The Dalek behind him, Marion, was saying something but he could barely hear it through the onslaught of explosions around him.

“ _ Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Doctor? _ ”

\-----

They escaped. They survived. They would live to see another day. He couldn’t believe it. And it was all thanks to a young woman called Marion Smith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I've been receiving such lovely comments, everybody's been so nice to me, and they truly help me to keep my motivation going.
> 
> Also, I'm not used to adding links for people to check out certain specific content that directly inspired me so tell me what you think about it.
> 
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	4. The Snowmen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited for the next updates!
> 
> From now on I'm starting to add all the little changes in each episode rewrite and some chapters change quite drastically from the original episode. I drop plot points that didn't make sense for me or that I'm just not going to use in the (possible) sequel, I change reactions and entire conversations, and i add a lot of original content that I hope you'll like.
> 
> Also, from now on the chapters are longer, now that the introduction is over and done, the real plot begins.

The Doctor had lost the Ponds, and it was all his fault.

He should’ve been paying more attention, he should’ve saved Rory, he should’ve convinced Amy better, he should’ve destroyed every single angel left in the universe. 

He should have. 

He was done with this. He was an old man and he was tired of losing, of the universe taking away everything he held dear to his hearts.

So he retreated to his beloved ship, in a time where he could ignore everything that was happening around him, and mourned. He was retiring, over a thousand years was enough time saving the universe.

\-----

Madame Vastra had been following Dr. Simeon of the Great Intelligence Institute for what felt like a month but was in reality only a couple of weeks. There had been more than enough disappearances all around London and all were linked to this one man who was too egocentric to think he would never be caught. Her earlier conversation with him had been enough for her to know he was behind it all, but how to convict a man who left no footprint in his wake. 

She was getting frustrated. It was not like her to take so long on a case, and since she was dedicating most of her time to solving it, she wasn’t spending time with Jenny which only added more cause of frustration. It was an unending cycle that would only be fixed by finishing this case. 

The snow was also a sign of concern for her. Did it have anything to do with the case? Probably. Low level telepathic snow, the Doctor had noticed it even if he didn’t care. 

Oh, the Doctor, the poor man barely left the TARDIS now. They had tried to convince him multiple times, any rare case that came across their path was brought to him as to entice him into leaving the confines of his ship, but still nothing. Nothing could make him leave his box in the clouds. Jenny was trying to be optimistic, but even she could feel that there wasn’t anything that would make him come out of retirement. The only times they saw him were his nightly walks, where he would roam lonely streets, the picture of grief. Truly a pathetic sight.

Vastra was now in her indoor garden, the only place in the house where she felt more at ease, trying to arrange all of her thoughts into something that made sense. Her veil had been discarded to the small table beside her, and she was rubbing her forehead, trying to stall a headache. She was  _ The Great Detective _ , for God’s sake, she was better than this, she had fared well without the Doctor before and she would do the same after he was long gone. But of course her worry for him was clouding her judgement on the case. He was her friend and she cared about what he was going through.

She sighed.

Jenny arrived at the garden with her refreshment and left it beside her. Vastra tried her best not to show her how much this case was bothering, giving her a small smile which she returned immediately holding her hand out for Vastra to take, which she did. Vastra closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the comforting presence of her love, and the solid weight of her hand in hers.

After a moment of silent reassurance, Vastra let go of Jenny’s hand and she served one cup with the red beverage. Vastra thought she would leave quickly to prepare for tonight’s investigation, but instead she stalled.

“Ma’am,” Jenny liked calling her that, even though they were married, so she indulged in the title quite often, reserving her use of her name for more personal moments. “There’s a young woman asking for help.”

Jenny handed her the cup and Vastra gladly accepted with a raise of her eyebrow.

“She seems quite insisting.” Jenny added. 

Vastra sighed, again. What a day.

“Very well. Let her in.” and with that Jenny left the garden.

Vastra put her veil back on and arranged it so her face was covered once again, and prepared herself for another stupid ape with another stupid case.

Jenny came back to the garden, this time followed by a young woman. She didn’t look anything out of the ordinary, blonde, average weight and height, and wearing a commoner’s dress. Not enough money, so she was probably desperate to be heard to go to a private detective instead of the proper authorities.

“Sit.” Jenny instructed the other woman. The woman did as told, and Jenny stepped back so she could melt in the background.

“Ma’am.” The woman said as a greeting.

“Who are you and what’s your case?” She didn’t have time to deal with any silly cases so she wanted to move the interview along.

“Right. Umm.” The woman frowned and started. “‘m Rose. Rose Marion Smith. ‘m a barmaid at The Rose & Crown. And, umm, my friend went missing a couple of weeks ago.”

She knew the establishment. It was usually crowded with suspicious characters and certainly not the place a young woman would like to work in. The  _ friend _ had probably left her waiting with a promise of marriage or something and left town. Typical.

“They probably left the city without telling you.” Vastra said. 

She had seen this kind of story play out multiple times in the past and right now she didn’t have time for it.

“He wouldn’ do that! He wasn’ like that! His sister ‘s with me and he wouldn’ abandon her!” The woman said defensively.

Vastra raised a hand to calm her down and said “All right, calm down. Keep going.” She might as well make her feel heard even if she probably wouldn’t take the case.

“He went to work with a few of his friends to collect snow for Dr. Simeons and they didn’ come back.” 

That picked Vastra’s interest. So this woman had seen something, probably something that could be enough to keep her investigation going. 

“They were promised food back in the Institute when they were done. So he went.” The woman continued, “But he’s not the first one that has disappeared there. There’s been others. I’ve been following the people that go inside, they never come out.”

Vastra straightened in the chair and looked at the woman closely. She had been doing an investigation of her own at the risk of her life, just to get some answers as to what happened to her friend. She was a determined young woman.

“And you see, the snow is not falling from the sky.” She looked worriedly around her, like they were going to throw her out of the house for sputtering madness. “The snow comes from the Institute. ‘ve seen it!”

Now the woman really looked nervous. Like she knew she was talking nonsense but she couldn’t stop. Looking at her more closely, Vastra noticed that she was quite young, even younger than Jenny.

“And the snowmen! They have been appearing all over town. Especially near the Institute and the park. One minute there’s nothin’ there and the next a snowman has appeared.” The girl leaned closer, as if she didn’t want to be heard saying the next words. “There’s somethin’ weird with the snow.”

“Are you suggesting the snow is alive?” Vastra questioned her, entertained by the girl’s attitude.

“No! I mean, that’s impossible right?”

“What’s your name, again?”

“Rose.”

“Forget about the snowmen.”

At this, the girl stood up, a stubborn look on her face. “But–”

“Don’t fret, I’m on the case.”

Rose’s face lit up at that, but then suspicion coloured her features. “Really?”

“Don’t worry about it, dear. I was already working on this and you have given me enough information to continue.” Vastra said kindly, and she raised her veil.

She didn’t know what made her do that, but she thought it was important to see this girl’s reaction.

The girl looked startled for a moment, possibly a little bit scared, but shook her head and did her best to smile. She went to grab Vastra’s hand and she let her, she shook it enthusiastically and said. “Thank you!”

The girl left the room, not waiting for Jenny to accompany her to the door. 

Jenny looked puzzled.

“I don’t think she’s going to leave this alone.” Vastra commented, amused by the girl's enthusiasm.

After that, Jenny went back to her duties leaving Vastra with new clues and information to solve her case.

\-----

The Doctor had finally retired. No more saving the universe, not for him. Someone else could deal with it, he was done.

He was more bitter about everything, he didn’t have the energy to find anything interesting anymore. He had even taken on wearing darker clothing, not really feeling like lighter colours fitted him well anymore. The TARDIS had also changed her interior design again, trying to match his mood. The steel surroundings and the barely there illumination helped him feel like he wasn’t alone in his mourning. He’d been like this for a long time now, but he couldn’t be bothered to check how long.

Madame Vastra had been trying to convince him out of his retirement with case after case, outrageous stories and rumours. The most recent in this charade had been the low level telepathic snow. He  _ had _ gone out to see it, it was curious, he would give her that. Not enough to get him interested, though. 

But. 

There was something else bothering him. A few days back he had felt a telepathic pull in one of his late night strolls, and it wasn’t the snow. This pull was different. It was insisting, a gentle call that gave him the feeling of déjà vu. Last time he had felt something similar had been when he had been taken to the asylum of Daleks, and he hadn’t been able to figure out what  _ that _ had been all about. Were they related somehow? The TARDIS had also been lively as of late, and he wondered if there was a connection there. It was distracting, and he was doing his best to push it aside, but the soft, warm feeling the telepathic whisper brought him was difficult to ignore. 

He decided he needed another walk, to calm his head, and to stop thinking about the telepath calling out to him. He called Madame Vastra and asked about borrowing Strax and a carriage, to which she agreed easily, as she was in her own investigation at the moment.

He left the TARDIS, and looked at the night sky. Outside the protection of his ship the other telepathic presence was more prominent, a kind whisper inviting him to follow. He sighed and looked at his feet, the cloudy floor had been a great idea to separate himself even more from whatever was happening in the world beneath him. But the call was always too strong. 

He walked to the stairs, leaving his secure shell behind, and adventured to the world below. Strax was waiting for him in the carriage when he reached the park. He felt the pull once more, this time it felt like he was being watched. He turned around but there was no one there, so he turned back and walked to the carriage.

Once inside, he called Vastra again.

“Doctor.” She answered without preambles.

“Madame Vastra. Tell me, what do you know about the snow?” There was a pause on the other side of the line.

“Why? Are you curious?”

“Not really. It seems to reflect people’s thoughts.”

“You’re right, so what do you need to know?” She sounded amused.

“Where does it come from?” 

She sighed. “I don’t know much about it, but a young woman brought to my attention that the snow comes from the Great Intelligence Institute. It’s all somehow connected to Dr. Simeons.”

He hummed nonchalantly.

“There’s also been multiple disappearances, she just brought one more case to my door. But she knew about the snow. Quite clever for an ape, I have the feeling that she’s doing research of her own. This may not be the last time we hear of her.”

Another tactic to bring him out of retirement, maybe Madame Vastra thought that if he heard someone was in danger he would care.

“Not interested.” He hanged without hearing an answer and told Strax their destination.

They arrived at the Institute in a short time. The Doctor had thought that if he approached the probable source of the snow he would find the other telepath, instead the pull was calling him back to the park, near the TARDIS. Surprisingly, the lights inside the building were on, meaning people were working this late at night. Strax picked up a pair of electronic binoculars to inspect the area.

“What do you suppose they’re doing in there?” asked Strax

The Doctor inspected the snow closely. The signature of the snow and the signature of the telepath were really different from each other, they had nothing in common. So that had been a waste of time.

“This snow is new. Possibly alien. When you find something brand new in the world, something you’ve never seen before, what’s the next thing you look for?” 

“A grenade.” Oh, Strax. Dumb, simple Strax.

“A profit. That’s Victorian values for you.”

As always, Strax suggested violence and breaking in the Institute. The Doctor didn’t see the point in any of it. That place won’t give him the answers he was looking for.

“Couldn’t we at least investigate?”

“It’s none of our business.”

Strax frowned even more than usual, if that was even possible.

“Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?”

“Permission granted.”

“Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.”

The Doctor entered the carriage once again and told Strax to return to the park, the pull making him want to return to TARDIS. What did it want with him? It was always calling him out of his ship, and now it wanted him to return? He should’ve ignored it as he always did, but the pull was becoming stronger and he didn’t think he was going to be able to avoid it any longer.

They arrived at the park quickly with no more comments from Strax about his attitude. He left the carriage and thanked Strax, waving him to leave. Once more he could feel he was being observed, but when he looked around everywhere there was no one there. He pulled the ladder down from the perception field and started climbing the hundreds of steps that led to his home.

The TARDIS stood at top of his cloud as always, an unmoving, steady presence. His own Cave of Solitude, just like Superman. When he entered the ship he was greeted by flashing lights and an excited hum. Now that was different. He approached the console, the buttons lighting on and off, the central rotor moving up and down like she wanted to fly away.

“What’s going on?” The Doctor touched the control desk, as if to calm her down. “Did you miss me that much?”

A touch of the minds, a knock on the door of the TARDIS, a happy thrum. 

He went to the door and opened it quickly, not really knowing what he was going to face, but–begrudgingly– intrigued by it. No one was there. He rounded the outside of his ship, not a soul. He heard the stairs clink, someone had come up. He ran to the stairs, he didn’t find a person but he found a blue scarf on the cloud floor. He brought it to his face, it smelled like roses. He froze.

\-----

It was a couple of days after Rose’s visit, Madame Vastra was now in front of a board now full of clippings of newspapers of all the disappearances of the past month together with all of the articles she could manage to find of the GI Institute. She was finally having more bases to put this man on trial, at least. She was definitely in better spirits than before the young woman had come to them with the new information.

She was startled out of her thoughts by Jenny.

“Ma’am, Miss Smith is here again.”

Vastra made a gesture with her hand to let Jenny bring the girl. Funny little human, but at least she had fire in her veins, and probably a new clue.

“What brings you back, Miss Rose?” Vastra asked.

Rose looked scared. She was twisting her hands and she was in just her dress, no coat or scarf on.

“The snowmen.” She said. “They’re in the park, and…”

Vastra nodded and pointed to a chair so Rose could sit. She did, although she was still fidgeting in her seat.

“In the park, there’s a man in a cloud.” 

Vastra looked at her sharply. “How do you know about that?”

“Because the snowmen are appearing in the park. I think I know why they’re there.”

Vastra thought seriously about making this girl take the one word test, but she hadn’t reacted badly to her, she barely paid attention to Strax when she entered, and she hadn’t said anything else about the Doctor. The girl was clearly more interested in solving the mystery.

“Tell me.”

“A year back, a woman drowned in the park, in the pond by the rose bushes. It was my friend’s mother. She was awful.” A year ago, so this was even further back than what she thought. “My friend’s sister has been dreaming of her. I think she’s coming back, I don’t know how. I need help.” Her voice took a pleading tone at the end. The poor girl was desperate.

Jenny came forward, grabbing the girls shoulders in a comforting gesture.

“Don’t worry, dear. Everything’s going to be alright.” Vastra nodded and Jenny took her away.

As soon as they left, Vastra called the Doctor.

“Yes? What? I’m trying to read.” The Doctor’s frustrated voice came from the other side of the line.

“The young woman I told you about and her concerns about the snow.”

“So? I told you I don’t care.” She heard an annoyed puff. 

“She saw you.” Silence, something had happened and it was obvious that the Doctor thought the girl could’ve been involved.

“What’s her name?” He asked finally.

Vastra smiled. “Rose. Rose Marion Smith.”

The other line went dead.

\-----

The Doctor’s investigation at the Institute led him back to the park, to a pond near the rose bushes. Vastra had gladly given him a carriage and Strax with a pointed look that wasn’t at all amusing. He couldn’t help it, the name had brought back the memories of his own Rose. Why? Why that name? He had heard a similar name recently too, in the asylum, the young junior officer Marion Smith. But surely it was all a coincidence, because otherwise how could all these be connected. Nothing made sense, and remembering Rose won’t do any good, it would only distract him.

Strax was not being useful at all, as always. Making comments about his whole Sherlock Holmes bit, which he thought was really clever even if it hadn’t helped at all.

The pull had urged him to the frozen pond just like his investigation had, and after that had completely vanished making him wonder if it had ever existed or if he had imagined the whole thing. He heard the bushes moving and he turned around brandishing his sonic as a weapon.

“Who’s there?”

A girl came out of the bushes and he forgot how to breathe. 

Standing in front of him was Rose Tyler.

Impossible.

_ This is it _ , he thought,  _ I have finally gone insane _ . The hallucination Rose was standing nervously in front of him, looking exactly as she looked that fateful day on Bad Wolf Bay when she had told him she loved him, when he had almost said it back. Still nineteen, still perfect in every way. She was wearing a blue dress— TARDIS Blue, he noticed—, really old working boots, no coat or scarf on, her cheeks and nose were tinted red from the cold, her hair was in a half updo, honey blonde instead of her normal bleached blonde, and she looked beautiful. He had lost his mind. This was just an elaborate dream he had created to cope with his grieve. He needed to wake up.

“Hello. Sorry.” Hallucination Rose said approaching him, he took a step back. He was man enough to admit that. “‘m Rose. Rose Smith.”

He wanted to ask so many things, why was she here? Why now? Had she come to haunt him? Was she a ghost? A figment of his imagination? A shape shifter? Was this a dream? All of the above? But the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “Smith?”

Hallucination Rose nodded.

“No. This is impossible. You’re not actually here.” Impossible. Again with that word. And now he was talking to himself. One more step away from sanity.

He started pacing, trying to decide if he wanted to get close to her or flee.

“No, no, no, no, no!” He muttered. “This isn’t happening.”

“Excuse me?”

What about the telepathic pull? Was she related to it? He shook his head. He shouldn’t be talking to his hallucination, that would only make it stronger. He saw Strax coming close and he ran to his side, pulling him close to the image of Rose. 

“Strax!” He hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt. “Be honest. Do you see someone there?” he pointed at Rose. 

Both Strax and Rose were looking at him like he was mad. Maybe he was. Definitely mad. Completely, impossibly mad.

“I see Miss Smith.” Strax started. 

“Good evening, Mr. Strax.” Rose said politely and turned to the Doctor. 

“You’re real.” He whispered. He came close to Rose, now that he was sure Strax could see her too, and raised his hands to her face. She didn’t have enough time to react before he was cradling her face.

She was warm, not as warm as she would be if she had a coat, her eyes were moving over his face a little nervously, and from where he was he could smell her faint perfume of roses. There was no recognition in her eyes. 

He didn’t know he could feel this afraid of something, but seeing Rose Tyler in front of him and having her not recognize him was horrifying.

“You’re actually, properly, real.” It couldn’t be true. This was a trick. He couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You’re the man from the cloud.” She said. So she had been the person knocking on the TARDIS’ doors the night before. Had his ship noticed her and that’s why she had been acting strange? “Are you here to help me?”

He wanted to say no. He wanted to run away. But Rose was there, asking him for something and he could never deny her anything. 

“Yes, I am.”

She smiled, and he was helpless.

“Come with me.” Rose took his hand and both of his hearts seemed to stop. 

He didn’t notice the frozen pond starting to crack behind him.

\-----

Lizzie sat on the only bed in the flat, hugging her legs to her chest to keep warm.

The one bedroom flat was dark and cold. There was a leak in the corner steadily dripping water over the stove, which had gone out earlier. The lights weren’t on, the candles long since gone. She had a thin blanket and Rose’s coat, and could see the puffs of breath that left her lips from the cold. On the outside the snow kept falling, making her shiver.

Her brother, Justice had disappeared almost three weeks ago, leaving her in the care of his best friend (and hers if she was honest), Rose. And even if Rose didn’t say it directly she knew her brother wasn’t coming back.

She had known Rose ever since she was a baby, and she was glad to have her. She was the only family she had left now. Her father had died after she was born and her mother had changed after that. She became mean, always screaming and throwing stuff at her and her brother. She was a witch and– even though she didn’t want to feel like this– she was glad she wasn’t here anymore.

And even then, even after everything her mother had done, thinking about her made her chest hurt and it became difficult to breath and she couldn’t help but cry.

And now her brother, who had taken care of her his whole life, was gone. She couldn’t sleep anymore, everytime she closed her eyes she saw her mother’s face screaming at her, telling her she was coming to get her, just like she had done with Justice. Maybe she would, she would rise from the dead and take her with her.

Lizzie heard the floors and the roof of the building cracking, she thought she could also hear the window, probably because of the cold. The wind went by with a strong roar, the snow falling heavily. It was okay, Rose would come home soon and everything was going to be fine. They would get help and they’d defeat the witch.

She thought she heard her mother’s screaming voice in the distance.

She hugged her legs closer to her and hid her face on her knees.

\-----

Rose led the Doctor by the hand through the park to its west exit, Strax following awkwardly behind them. Her hand fit perfectly in his, like it always had. They went through a deserted dark alley until they arrived at an old building of flats, its door so small it was barely visible. She let go of his hand to open the door and he felt its absence acutely. 

Rose opened the door and went inside quickly, leaving it open for him. The Doctor saw her retreating back with a light stab of dread. Was she going to disappear again? Had she actually been a dream and he was going to wake up inside his TARDIS, all alone?

He stalled outside the building, his hands twitching by his side. He should go inside. Follow Rose. But his feet felt like lead and apprehension settled in his stomach. Right. Follow Rose. He finally gathered enough courage and turned to Strax.

“Wait here.” He ordered.

“Sir, I must insist you take me as a backup. We don’t know what’s up there.”

“No. I need to do this alone.”

The entrance had a hallway to its right, with two doors that probably led to living spaces of different families. To its left there were stairs, Rose standing at the bottom of them looking at him with an impatient expression on her face. He approached her and Rose took two steps at a time, not looking back to see if he was following this time. 

On the second floor of the building there were three doors, she opened the one at the end of the corridor and a small figure greeted them by the door. A black girl with unruly curls and clothes in the same state as Rose’s. Her big eyes looked panicked and afraid, something had happened. The room was small and cold. There were no candles lit and no fire on the stove, something was wrong. He made to grab Rose’s hand, an instinct he thought this body didn’t have, but did as naturally as breathing.

“Rose–” He started saying but was interrupted by a screech.

The only window in the room broke, letting the cold wind enter. The figure of a woman made of ice started climbing through it, the sound of cracking crystal it made as it moved making it more terrifying for the little girl.

“Rose!” she ran towards Rose, hugging her by the waist.

“Lizzie!” Rose was alert and was looking to the window where the ice woman was climbing.

The floor started to freeze, snow coming through the window.

“Imagine it melting.” The Doctor said quickly, kneeling beside the young girl.

“What?” Rose demanded, not really knowing what was happening.

“You have to imagine it melting and it will go away.” He insisted.

But the girl was afraid, and couldn’t focus properly. “I can’t!” She screamed.

Rose took the girl and pushed her back behind her, shielding her with her body. The Doctor stood in front of Rose and pointed his sonic. This had to work. 

The ice woman took another step and then exploded.

“Where did she go? Will she come back?” Lizzie asked from behind Rose.

“No, don’t worry.” He said as he went to grab a piece of ice. 

The ice low telepathic signature was the same as the snow. The itch to solve the mystery was nagging at him, all combined with the presence of a Rose that didn’t know him sparkled the excitement he had thought long gone. Something big was going on.

“She’s currently draining through your floor. New setting. Anti-freeze.” He gloated a little. “And you’re very welcome, by the way.” He turned to see Rose kneeling in front of the girl, obviously more concerned about her than what had happened.

Of course, the Doctor had talked too soon and before they knew it, the ice woman was forming back again. They ran downstairs ready to exit the building, but were greeted by snowmen surrounding them with Dr. Simeon leading the attack. Strax entered, immediately barricading the door. He had called for backup apparently, because from one of the rooms Madame Vastra and Jenny emerged. They produced a small grenade and passed it to the Doctor, who threw it to the stairs creating a forcefield between the ice creature and them.

“What’s going on?!” Rose screamed.

“An ice creature is trying to kill you, keep up.” The Doctor said. 

Rose turned to him with a ‘we’re in danger, stop trying to be funny’ look so familiar he wanted to run to her and hug her.

Focus. He had a plan.

Leaving the Paternoster Gang behind taking care of the little girl, he grabbed Rose’s hand and took her to the roof, the ice creature following closely behind and leading it away from the snowmen army. 

Once they reached the roof, the Doctor pulled out his sonic and pointed it to the cloud he had created for the TARDIS.

Rose gave a relieved laugh beside him.

“You’re mad!” She said accusingly.

But she was smiling at him. He smiled back.

The cloud was finally above them, so he raised his hand and pulled the ladder down. There was a look of excitement in Rose’s eyes that he could feel reflected in his own.

“Come on.” He led her to the ladder. 

They went up the hundreds of steps, Rose laughing behind him. He never let go of her hand. She wasn’t surprised by the cloud floor, so she most likely had been the one knocking on his door that night, but he could still see the amazement in her eyes.

“You can control the clouds?”

“No. No one can control clouds, that would be silly. The wind, a little bit.”

“What is this, what are they made of?”

“Super dense water vapour. Should keep her trapped for the moment.”

He opened the doors with a snap of his fingers and they went inside. Rose stopped by the entrance, looking around her in wonder, the lights blinking above them in a cheerful greeting. The TARDIS  _ knew _ , he noticed. This woman  _ was _ Rose, how or why he didn’t know nor comprehended, but his ship knew. 

The Doctor approached the controls and started to turn knobs and pull levers, making the rotor groan. He needed to get rid of the ice creature first, so he could then focus on the mystery of Rose.

“This is impossible. It’s bigger on the inside.” She breathed out, clearly overwhelmed by everything that was happening.

“Of course it is, you know this, Rose Tyler!” The Doctor said.

She frowned at him. “That’s not my name.”

The Doctor approached her and stood in front of her.

“Of course it is.” She looked confused, like what he was saying made sense but not. Like most of the things he said, really. Her eyes seemed to glow golden under the TARDIS’ lights and he had to wonder if it was really a trick of light or something else, something that would explain her presence here.

“Who are you?” Rose asked in a trembling voice.

“I’m the Doctor. You know me.”

“No, I don’t.” She said stubbornly, but her eyes were telling a different story. There was a ghost of a memory dancing beneath the surface. “That wasn’t real. It was a dream.” She whispered.

Tears started to fall from her eyes. 

“Why am I crying?”

“Because you remember.” He said confidently.

The Doctor got even closer to her, measuring his steps slowly as to not make her run away. He grabbed her hand and she gasped.

“It can’t be.”

“I grabbed your hand, and I said one word.” He squeezed her hand, silently begging her to remember. 

She looked directly into his eyes.

“Run. You told me to run.” Recognition, finally.

“Rose Tyler.” He answered.

This time he was sure her eyes glowed. Nothing made sense already, so that might as well happen. 

“Doctor.” The way she said his name sounded like a prayer.

The Doctor smiled like he hadn’t done in such a long time. 

“Hello.”

“Hello.” She smiled back.

Rose was here, in the TARDIS, just as she should be, and nothing could be wrong in the universe.

Then she was being pulled out of his ship and she was falling to her death.

\-----

Vastra saw the ice creature fall to the ground and break down in a hundred pieces from the window in Rose’s flat, the blonde woman following closely behind. Seconds after, the TARDIS materialized around her body.

The Doctor had done some quick first aid it seemed, before materializing the ship in the small space of the flat, and now he was putting Rose down on the only bed in the room. The tiny human they were guarding immediately ran to her side and kneeled by the bed. It was a pitiful sight, and Vastra felt a little bit of sorrow for the soon to be orphan. Jenny, the caring person she was, went to the child’s side, giving her kind, comforting words in the face of her tragedy. The sight filled her with a conflicting ray of emotions she couldn’t deal in the face of the danger they were in, but made her feel warm inside.

She pushed aside the storm she was feeling and tried to focus on the situation at hand. The Doctor ordered Strax to heal the young woman, to keep her alive at all costs, and he was back in his ship. Vastra followed him closely behind and found him examining the left over pieces of the ice creature with his sonic. He looked as if he was doing everything in his power to ignore the condition of the dying girl, as if he was running away once again.

“She’s dying, Doctor.” She said with no finesse. She was not going to let him leave them behind with a soon to be dead young woman and an orphan.

“No, she’s not. She’s going to be fine.”

“Then tell that to the girl that was in her care.” Vastra said, with no small amount of irritation. “Doctor, her injuries are severe. That equipment will bring back anyone for a while, but long term–” She didn’t finish the sentence, the Doctor interrupted.

“She’s going to live, Vastra.” 

“Who is this girl? You haven’t cared for so long, why her? What makes her special?”

“She’s my–” But he cut himself off. “I’m owed this. The universe owes me this.”

“Are you trying to bargain with the universe?” She asked incredulously.

Vastra couldn’t believe his attitude, but the Doctor looked at her seriously, and she feared that he might have finally lost his wits. He left the ship and went to Rose’s bedside, Vastra following behind him.

“Hey.” He whispered to her, grabbing her hand and holding it close.

“Hey.” She whispered back with a smile.

“I’m off to save the world.” He tried for humor. It felt flat.

“Off you go then.”

“Rose, I–”

“Go. I’ll be waiting.”

The Doctor nodded and went to the TARDIS. The look of determination told Vastra everything she needed to know, it all ended tonight.

\-----

Dr. Simeon was dead and the snow was melting. It was raining, the sound of the drops colliding against the windows echoing through the room. A second ago it had been snowing, it didn’t make sense. The Doctor approached the window and opened it.

“It’s raining. What’s happening?” Madame Vastra asked beside him.

“The snow mirrors, that’s all it does. It’s mirroring something else now. Something so strong, it’s drowning everything else.”

He took his hand out, the water in his hand was barely cold, which didn’t make sense. 

“There was a critical mass of snow at the building. If something happened there” He continued.

He sipped the drops in his hand and tasted the rain. 

It was raining tears. 

His hearts filled with dread. 

The Doctor and Vastra returned to his ship and left for the building near the park where Rose was waiting. The scene that greeted them was one of grieve. The little girl on the floor, crying by the bed, Jenny holding her close, and Rose barely breathing. 

He ran to her side, his movements completely automatic. 

He grabbed her hand, it wasn’t warm anymore.

“Hey, I’m back, look.” He pleaded to her.

“Long time no see.” She smiled.

A similar conversation came to mind. One that they had in the middle of a Dalek invasion, the moment they had found each other again against all odds.

“You saved the world.” He answered trying for a smile, as the painful memories threatened to overwhelm him. 

It was happening again. He was going to lose everything again. Why couldn’t the universe give him a break? He brought her hand to his face and kissed her. He hid his face behind their joined hands, not wanting her to see him in that state.

“What are you gonna do now? Are you going back to your cloud?” Of course Rose would ask that. She was dying and she was more worried about him.

“No more cloud. Not now.”

“Doctor, please don’t travel alone. You’re rubbish by yourself.” She pleaded.

“Rose–” But what was he going to tell her? That everything was fine, that she was going to live? He couldn’t lie to her like that.

“Run, Doctor.” She probably used all the strength she had left, but she squeezed his hand as hard as she could. “Run, and find me.”

The Doctor turned sharply to look at her. “What do you mean?”

“Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Doctor?”

He saw her eyes closing and her breath stopping. He thought he heard the wail of the little girl that was on the floor, begging Rose not to leave her. That girl was an orphan now, with no one left in the world. He probably should care more about that, but everything seemed insignificant to Rose’s death. He stayed there, in the same position until he had no tears left to cry, until the colour had left her face, until her hand was no longer warm, until Vastra put a hand on his shoulder telling him it was dawn.

\-----

Vastra had arranged the funeral of the young woman three days after the incident.

She decided to take in the orphan girl Elizabeth ( _ I like Lizzie better _ ), instead of leaving her to her own devices. She was now alone in the world, and after all she had seen they couldn’t leave her wandering the city like that. Jenny had accepted it with no resistance and had taken the role of her Guardian heartily, she had a nurturing nature that worked amazing with children, and seeing them together brought to attention certain feelings that Vastra didn’t know she had. Lizzie was a strong child, such a clever young mind, full of talent and understanding. And even though she was still grieving, she was adapting amazingly to living on Paternoster Row. 

She didn’t know what prompted her to do it, but she also had made a gravestone for Lizzie’s brother. Maybe she now felt responsible for this child, or maybe it was something she didn’t have the strength to discover right now.

The Doctor had disappeared right after they had taken the body. Vastra had left a message about the funeral, hoping to see him again and talk to him. She was expecting him to retrieve even more into himself, to stop talking even to them. The death of this woman had been hard on him.

Now here they stood, in front of two graves, Lizzie doing her best not to cry. The four of them waited to see if the Doctor would show up, it had been an hour now. Jenny turned to look at her, her smile sad and her eyes expressing all the support she could. Vastra sighed,  _ At least I tried _ , she wasn’t to beat herself up for the decisions of that man.

The sound of the TARDIS surprised everyone. The Doctor came out of the ship with an enormous bouquet of pink and yellow roses, he approached the young woman’s grave and left them there. He turned to the group, and Vastra was astonished to see the Doctor with a decisive look on his face.

“She’s not gone.”

“What?” Vastra could only blink at him.

“The girl at the asylum, she saved my life. I knew she sounded familiar, she was Rose! And now, she saved my life, again. She left me a message, Bad Wolf. It means we’re still connected.”

He had finally gone mad!

“Doctor, you’re not making any sense.” Vastra said sternly.

“Something is happening. Something big.”

Jenny and Strax were beside her, looking even more puzzled than her.

“What do you mean, Doctor?” Vastra asked.

“Why would the Bad Wolf do this, nothing makes sense.”

“What are you talking about?”

This infuriating, stupid man!

“I’ve got to find her. She’s out there waiting for me.”

“Have you gone insane?”

“Yes! Most definitely!” He was gleeful, now.

“Doctor!” She tried once more.

“I’m gonna find her, and bring her home. She’s out there, waiting for me.”

The Doctor ran to the TARDIS, leaving the perplexed group behind. The ship dematerialized with its usual groaning, the blue box blinking out of existence.

“You think he finally lost his mind?” Jenny asked.

“I’m not sure, love. But perhaps the universe makes bargains after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, you comments have helped me a lot to keep writing!
> 
> I wanted to give a more important role to Vastra and Jenny in my rewrite, I mean, they were the ones that solved the mystery in The Snowmen and in Crimson Horror and somehow they're delegated to the sides and to be impressed by the Doctor?? No, sir.   
> So here I am, trying to give them as much character I can, a more developed relationship and yeah, a found family trope that I plan to squeeze the shit out of it in later chapters where they appear.
> 
> There's a reason we haven't got Rose's point yet, and it's explained in the next chapter. Don't worry.
> 
> Also, I'm changing my updating schedule to Mondays, so stay tuned. All your kudos and comments keep me writing! And don't hesitate to DM me in any of my other accounts!
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thegeekproblem)   
>  [Tumblr](https://thegeekproblem.tumblr.com)


	5. The Bells of Saint John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The real plot begins!
> 
> From now on there will be small changes in some chapters (basically most of the conversations), big changes in others (deleting plot points that I thought stupid when I watched the series or complete chapters all together), and completely original content from scenes that I thought necessary for pacing and narrative purposes.

Rose was sure she was dying.

Or maybe she was already dead and this was the afterlife.

She had closed her eyes as an old lady in her home, on a bed that had been too lonely for far too long, and she had dreamt of golden light and ethereal singing. It had reminded her of the TARDIS’ singing, and she didn’t know how much she had missed it until she listened to it again.

It was the moon, and the stars, and the infinite universe.

It was time, all that is, all that was, all that ever could be.

After the golden light came the dreams. 

She was floating in the light of the cosmos, she whispered the words to the universe, the words that connected her to  _ him _ . She dreamt she met him, the Doctor, the different incarnations of the man she loved. Sometimes she talked to him, sometimes she saw him in the distance. She didn’t always know who she was, but she always knew who he was. He was the Doctor,  _ her _ Doctor, but like in any dream she wasn’t completely aware or in control of her actions.

In one dream, she was a waitress in the 60’s and he had just arrived on Earth. How did she have that knowledge, she didn’t know, but even with his old appearance he was the youngest she’s ever seen him and still had a lot to learn. They didn’t talk, she just brought him a cup of tea and left him to his thoughts.

In another, she was a shop girl in the 80’s and he was mourning someone close to him. Again, the knowledge seemed to come to her. He looked so much younger now, he was more confident in himself, and he was starting to suffer how cruel the universe could be. This time they talked, and she made him promise not to travel alone.

Some other time, she was a young woman in the 18th century and he was running away from Gallifrey and the War. They were both afraid, and they were both alone, so they danced the night away. He asked her to run away with him but she knew it wasn’t time yet, that it was still too early. She told him to not travel alone. She knew that he shouldn’t do that, that being by himself for too long wasn’t good for him.

She was a Dalek and he had been travelling alone for a while. She saved him, just like she always would. But something had been different, and for a moment she could feel the veil from the dream leaving her mind. Just for a moment. 

He never recognized her. 

Until he did.

The next time, everything felt more real. She was a barmaid in Victorian London and he had retired to a cloud in the sky to grieve by himself. The dream felt a reality, her body felt real, her actions were hers but her memories were trapped, waiting to be let out. 

He recognized her. He grabbed her hand, and spirited her away to his blue box. He whispered her name, and the veil was gone and she was there beside him in the TARDIS. He had regenerated, but his eyes were the same, same pain, same guilt, the last of the Time Lords.

Then she was gone.

_ Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? _

The golden light was warm and comforting, the singing lulling her back to sleep. 

_ Find me. _

A whisper. A prayer.

She woke up in an alleyway, in the middle of the day, no longer in her universe, with no idea of what was going on.

\-----

Rose Tyler woke up to a sensation of pain and nausea. Her head hurt and her limbs felt like lead. It was similar to when she would jump between dimensions, such a long time ago, when she was trying to save the multiverse.

The ground beneath her was hard and cold, if a little bit humid. The smell of dirt and wet concrete was definitely familiar but it didn’t make sense unless she was lying on the street instead of her lonely bed. 

Her eyelids were heavy, and she fought against it. She managed to open her eyes and found that she was lying on the ground. On the street floor.

Now that didn’t make sense.

She moaned. She tried to stand up, she didn’t have the strength from when she was young but she pushed with all her might. Or, at least, that’s what she thought, because she almost pushed herself too hard and ended up back on the floor on the other side. Now, that was weird. She looked down at herself, to measure the damage and stopped.

What.

She had gone to sleep the night before a woman of 87 years old, with severe arthritis and really bad eyesight. Her hands were smooth and soft, no wrinkle in sight, and her sight was the best it had been in years. Weird. She touched her face, her hair, her chest, her legs. She moved around a little, measured the strength and elasticity of her body, and finally she stood up. She stumbled a little, still not used to her body responding so easily but managed to find her footing.

She was young.

What.

She jumped a little in her spot, stretched her arms above her head, then sideways, she bent over and touched her toes, she stood still again. She was young, she laughed incredulously, she frowned. What’s going on? Is this what the after life was like, or had she somehow migrated her mind into someone else’s body? She would definitely prefer the former option.

She started to pay attention to other things, like her surroundings and her clothes. She was in a dark alleyway, looked like London, smelled like London, and it was around noon from the sun’s position. She wasn’t wearing her clothing style from when she had been young, so it was probably some time after the 2000's. She was dressed in a youthful fashion, a pink top, jeans and oversized denim jacket that matched, it was all paired up with pink converse like the ones she used to use to match the Doctor’s fashion sense. A wave of sadness threatened to overwhelm her.

The Doctor.

If this was the afterlife, would she see her Doctor again? It probably wasn’t, but the idea of seeing the Doctor once more pushed her to try and figure out what was happening.

She looked back again at her hands, she was wearing a couple of rings but right there, on her left hand, was her wedding band. A beautiful rose gold ring, looking as new as the day she had first put it on. She took it off and looked on the inside, as if to prove it was the real deal. The inscription of  _ Forever _ in high gallifreyan was enough to convince her that it was her ring. There was a weight on her neck she hadn’t noticed before but now that she had her wedding band in her hand she thought she knew what it was. With shaky hands she went to grab the chain on her neck and pulled out a key. Not any key, the TARDIS’ key. 

_ What’s going on? _ Nothing was making sense, she was so confused. Her eyes stung and she wanted to cry but she didn’t have time for that yet. She needed to know where she was.

She left the alley behind, still stumbling a little, to enter a wider street. There were a few people walking around, they all looked human, and the place still felt like London. She looked at the sky. No zeppelins. Not her universe. So maybe she was in London, but which one? Determined to find out, she walked down the street.

First things first, communications. Her stomach growled. And chips, also chips. For that she needed money, a phone and, if she could, a laptop would be great.

She was creating a plan of action in her head, her Torchwood training kicking in, when she caught her reflection in the window of a diner. The breath left her lungs. Oh.

On the window, a perfect picture of her nineteen year old self was reflected. The same clumpy mascara, the same lipstick colour, the same bottle blonde hair. Her hair was short and she was wearing the usual hoop earrings she wore back in those days, her nails were painted and chipped. She was 19 again, how or why, she didn’t know but the girl staring back at her  _ was _ her. 

She exhaled a shaky breath. She couldn’t deal with this now, there were other things that came first. Like finding out where she was.

She kept on walking through narrow streets until she came to a packed enough place, where she could easily get lost in the crowd. Okay, she could do this. She was Rose Tyler, Defender of Earth. She kept walking, looking at the faces of the people surrounding her until she found her target. A middle aged man in an expensive looking suit talking distractedly on the phone. She bumped into him, not hard enough for him to interrupt his call, she smiled apologetically and called out a soft sorry before moving on. Wallet acquaried.

She changed streets and kept on walking. Her next target was a woman, middle age, designer coat, designer shoes, designer bag. She was talking animatedly to another similar looking woman. Distracted. Bingo. She got close to them and slipped her hand in the expensive looking bag. She nicked her phone.

She wasn’t proud of this, but she had grown in the Powell Estate, with lots of shady people, and she had learned how to pickpocket fairly young. She didn’t advertise this talent, and only the Doctor had known how good she was at it.

She stopped to inspect the contents of the wallet. ID, Credit cards, business cards and 150 quid. Not bad. She took the money and threw the wallet in a bin.

With the phone and wallet in her possession, she started her search for something to eat. She found a chippy not long after and bought the largest portion to go. Oh God, she hadn’t had chips since forever ago. Her health didn’t allow her to indulge as frequently as she had when she was young. Well, not anymore. She took a chip to her mouth. Heaven. This was definitely heaven.

Stop distracting yourself.

She took her chips and left the shop. She walked until she found a small park, and she decided it was as good as any other place. She chose a small bench and left her chips beside her. She took out the phone, from the design and weight of it she could guess she was somewhere in the 2010’s. She checked the date on the screen, March, 2013. She had travelled back in time. Her head hurt. She sighed, she needed to  _ focus _ . She opened the browser and started her research. It was something she had become used to doing when she was jumping dimensions, if there was no easy tell she was in another alternate reality she would search for tale tells of the Doctor. He had explained to her there were no alternate versions of Time Lords, so if this was her original universe, the news would tell her. But, what would she do if she found out it was her original universe? Go to Torchwood? U.N.I.T.? Look for the Doctor? All of this was so confusing, and she didn’t know what to do.

She started her search, first any type of abnormality in the past couple of years, alien invasion or major accident. The things that came up weren’t really that telling so she couldn’t be sure, so she tried for a couple of years back. Last time she had been in her original universe it had been 2009, with the Dalek invasion, so she looked for that. Multiple articles covering the incident appeared. But, no, she could still be somewhere else, like Donna’s pocket universe or something, so she searched for the thing she was sure would give her answers. She searched for her name: Rose Tyler. The first thing that appeared was an article of her year long disappearance, the second was the list of the dead of Canary Wharf.

This couldn’t be possible. She was back in her original universe, just a few of years after she had left for good, looking nineteen again. She left the phone on her lap, and started eating her chips. They were cold now.

She should’ve asked for more vinegar.

Okay, this could still be another universe, right? But the more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that she was back. Now what?

She finished her chips and went to wipe her hands on her jacket and noticed something she hadn’t felt before, there was something in one of her pockets. She pulled out a folded flyer, not what she was expecting but she unfolded it. The flyer announced a live music night at a pub called the Golden Rose (ironic), nothing really surprising until she saw the name of the band: Bad Wolf.

Oh.

She read the flyer with more attention. It really didn’t say much else, the night had already happened so there was no reason for the flyer to be in her pocket. But when she turned the flyer around she found a phone number written in her hand.

She wanted more chips. 

She wanted to run away.

She dialed the phone number.

\-----

The Doctor had no idea how to start his search.

He had left his Victorian friends with a certain optimism he hadn’t had since he had arrived with them. He started making theories as to why Rose would appear as a Dalek and then as a Victorian girl but wouldn’t remember him. He was also starting to think he probably had met her before they actually met in that basement at Henrik’s. Flashes of blonde hair and tongue touched smiles would appear in his memories but they were murky and disconnected. He was probably imagining things,  _ but what if _ .

It was all supposed to be connected to Bad Wolf, but he didn’t understand how.

Bad Wolf was supposed to be a message for Rose, to guide herself, not for him. So why was she appearing now in his life even after she was gone. 

After months of searching, going through all the planets he had taken her, of discarded theories, of little to no sleep, he went to the only place he knew he would be able to see her. 

He went to the Powell Estate, 1993. 

He couldn’t risk seeing her while she was travelling with him, and he had already gone to visit her in this body in 1996 and had helped her with her science homework. He wasn’t planning on talking to her this time, it would be fine as long as he stayed in the background.

The TARDIS had always known where she was, no matter what, so he wasn’t surprised to arrive only a block from a playground near the Estates. He approached the park and stayed on a bench on the far side, where he would be able to see the whole place. He probably looked like a creep, he should’ve put on a perception filter or something like that.

Jackie Tyler was gossiping as always with Bev, and right there was Rose playing with other children her age. She was laughing and screeching, and she looked like she was having too much fun. Her hair honey blonde, rather than the bleached colour he was used to. He thought he saw Mickey Smith playing among the children, he was only a few of years older than Rose, so it made sense.

The Doctor wondered for a moment how many times he had gone back in Rose’s timeline to see her, and how many times he would do it in the future. He shouldn’t make this a habit. He was so distracted that he didn’t notice Rose approach him. When he noticed, he panicked and tried to run away, almost tripping over his own feet.

“‘ello.” She said.

“Hello.” He said nervously. 

They shouldn’t be talking to each other, he had already done that (was this the reason she had said he looked familiar?).

“What’re you doin’ all alone?”

“I’m searching.”

“What’re you searchin’?”

“My friend. I lost her.”

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She left me a message and told me to find her.”

“Mmm” Rose hummed, like she was seriously considering where somebody could be hiding. “Maybe you should wait.” She finally said.

“What? Why?” He wasn’t a waiting person, why would he do that.

“Well, she gave you a message. Maybe she’ll give you another. Like a treasure hunt!”

Rose always knew, she always said exactly the right thing. A treasure hunt, indeed.

“Maybe you’re right.” He smiled at her.

“‘Course I am.” She said, proud of herself.

“Rose, let’s go!” He heard Jackie scream in the distance, she probably hadn’t noticed her daughter talking to a strange man.

Rose turned to look at the source of the scream and then back at him. “See yah!” She smiled and ran back to her mum.

Waiting. He didn’t like the idea, but what else was he supposed to do. If it was like a treasure hunt, a clue would appear leading him to the next one and the next one. He also didn’t think that returning to the Victorian era would be a good idea, he was pretty sure Madame Vastra thought he had gone mad. He needed to wait somewhere else. Maybe just float through the Vortex, or in space, but that would consume too much energy from the TARDIS for no purpose at all.

That’s how he ended in Cumbria, 1207. He had already been there for a couple of months waiting for a message, a call, a sign from the universe, a smoke signal, anything at all. He stayed at a monastery, trying to avoid distractions. The monks insisted on him wearing a tunic like the rest of them but he refused. Tunics were not cool, so he kept the basic Victorian style–minus the top hat– he had been wearing for a while now.

He meditated (or tried to), created new theories, paced every single room he found in the monastery, painted Rose, and grew frustrated. Wait. He could wait.

No, he couldn’t. 

He was going to lose his mind like this!

He was painfully aware of every minute, every second, that passed with no new clues.

And then, the Bells of Saint John rang.

The abbott gave him a horse and he was escorted by a couple of monks to the Bells. The forest near the monastery was wild, untouched by man, the perfect place to hide the TARDIS. A thick fog covered most of it and it was easy to get lost in the place, if it weren’t for his telepathic connection to his ship he would also get lost.

He found the abandoned cave easily, the echoes of the ringing could be heard from the outside. The monks beside him looked uneasy, which was fair as the situation they found themselves in was unnatural to them.

He dismounted, one of the monks following him closely behind who pulled out of his bag a torch and lit it up, illuminating his path. The noise inside the cave grew louder until they were greeted by the blue police box casting shadows through the cave with her light and the phone outside ringing.

“That is not supposed to happen. How can it be ringing? It’s not even a real phone. It’s not connected.” He told the monk, who of course had no idea what he was talking about.

He went close to his ship and opened the door containing the phone. It was still ringing, how long had it been ringing? He looked at the phone, a little bit intimidated, and answered after a couple more seconds of ringing.

“Hello?”

“Hello?” The voice of a young woman came through the phone. 

Familiar, but, no, how. It couldn’t be her, right?  _ Right? _

“How are you calling?”

“With a cellphone?” She answered as it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s 1207.” He answered incredulously.

He heard the phone moving and then the voice came back. “It’s half past three.”

What?

“How did you get this number?” Not a lot of people had that number.

“Um, it was in my pocket? I don’t know.” There was shuffling on the other side of the line. “I just–” The girl interrupted herself and sighed.

“Who are you?” The Doctor found himself asking. 

It couldn’t be that simple, could it?

“I think it’s a message.” The voice said instead of answering. “A message leading me somewhere.”

_ A message to lead myself here. _

He ran into the TARDIS, leaving the phone hanging behind him. His ship was excited, she knew what was happening. The controls started to move on their own, the lights on the ceiling blinking on and off, the rotor moved, the monitor showed a new set of coordinates. He didn’t need to track the call, she had already done it for him. Clever ship. 

“Geronimo!” He pulled the lever and they took flight.

\-----

The other side of the line went dead, leaving Rose wondering if calling the number had helped in something.

She sat there looking at the phone, feeling lost, not knowing what to do. She pocketed the phone, maybe she could search for Torchwood or U.N.I.T., her Doctor had talked about working for them when he had been exiled to Earth.

She took the TARDIS’ key from her neck and looked at it with longing. This was her original universe, she was (mostly) sure of that, but did she have a place in it anymore? The key had always meant Home for her back when she was travelling with the Doctor. 

Warm.

The key started to shine a light golden glow, growing warm every second.

Then a gush of air, a metallic groaning, the familiar singing inside her head she had missed so much. The sound of the universe. 

The TARDIS.

She looked up. The police phone box materialized on the other side of the park right in front of her. The phone was disconnected, hanging uselessly from its cord.

The call. It had been the Doctor.

A young man came out of the TARDIS hurriedly, stumbling over his own feet, dressed in victorian looking clothing and a bowtie, looking around swiftly. She stood up and his eyes finally landed on her. It was the Doctor, how she knew that, she didn’t care. He had changed his face again, but his eyes held the same intensity as always. They stared at each other from across the park. She didn’t know who moved first but before she knew it she was in his arms.

She was  _ Home _ .

This was a dream, it had to be.

“Doctor.” She whispered his name against his shoulder, afraid that if she spoke any louder the fantasy would shatter into tiny pieces and she would wake up back in her universe, a lonely old woman.

“Rose.” Her name in his lips grounded her.

The Doctor held her in a close, almost crushing hug, lifting her from the floor. She hid her face in his shoulder, and she barely noticed she was crying. Nothing made sense, but the Doctor was there with her, and even when he had changed his face he still had the same familiar scent of tea and time.

“You’re real. You’re here.” He said into her hair.

She thought she heard him whisper the words impossible and dream, probably trying to convince himself just as much as she was trying to do the same. It did feel like a dream. He let her down but didn’t let go.

“How, how am I here?” She started to ask. 

“I don’t know.” He separated enough to look at her but not enough to put space between them. His eyes were green now but still held everything that made them his.

Rose raised her hands to his face, his new new new face. She smiled through her tears.

“Hello.” She said.

“Hello.” He answered with a smile of his own.

Rose could feel the presence of the TARDIS nudging in the back of her mind. She looked over the Doctor’s shoulder to see the ship, the Doctor did the same.

“Fancy a look in the box?” He said with a nod of his head.

She nodded excitedly. The Doctor let her go finally and took her hand firmly, as if trying to convince himself this was real, and took her to the ship. The TARDIS sang in her head, and as they got closer the singing grew louder, the whispers of the universe inside her head, the golden light that had plagued her dreams clouding her thoughts. His face started to fade, and then it was dark.

\-----

Rose woke up slowly this time. The blankets and pillows pink colour, and the comforting hum of the TARDIS in the background told her she was home, that she hadn’t dreamed any of what had happened before. How could any of this be real?

She pushed herself, sat on the bed and took in her surroundings. She was back in her bedroom on the spaceship. It was just as she remembered it, with its pastel walls, and fluffy blankets. The vanity was still just as messy and there were clothes everywhere. There was a cup of tea and a plate of jammy dodgers on the bedside table, a vase of fresh roses decorating it. She hid a smile against her hand, the Doctor was just as ridiculous as she remembered.

She grabbed the cup of tea and sipped it, it was still warm and made exactly how she liked it. He remembered. She stood up, her converse were left beside the bed on the floor so she put them on and still holding her cup of tea stepped outside.

She was surprised by the halls on the ship, they were different from what she remembered, all grey and metallic instead of the coral and rough hallways she remembered. Her door was also different, it used to be a wooden door with her name on it, now it was a golden door with Gallifreyan writings on it. She didn’t really understand them but they looked beautiful. She put her free hand against the wall and she was answered with a hum and an image of the Doctor. The lights started to flicker, beckoning to follow a path, so she did.

She could feel the TARDIS’ happiness in her head. Oh, how she had missed that. She hadn’t known how much the ship was a presence in her mind until she was thrown into a parallel universe and was completely cut off from her. She had felt an empty space that threatened to consume her– the singing of the ship gone forever, never to come back–, a void that was only abated by the bond she later had with her Doctor, her  _ husband _ .

She kept walking until she entered the console room, the lights blinking on the ceiling. And it was magnificent. The TARDIS had changed, just like the Doctor, the new metallic style completely different from what she had known, but just as gorgeous. 

“Rose Tyler.” She heard her name being called out from the other side room.

The Doctor was seated in the pilot chair, not as spacious as it was, but he probably had been by himself for too long. The thought brought a stab to her heart. How long had he been travelling alone?

“She changed.” She found herself saying. It wasn’t really what she wanted to say, but what had she wanted to say? 

“What do you think?” He stood up and made a flare of throwing up his arms. Rose didn’t know if he was asking about the TARDIS or his new face.

“I love it.” She thought maybe she was answering both questions.

The Doctor smiled and approached her. Now that there wasn’t the desperation of seeing him again, she started to notice the differences between her Doctor and this Doctor. He was around the same height, still with some great hair, and his eyes had changed from deep brown to vivid green. He was more twitchy, and everytime he spoke he moved his hands around as if they were connected to his mouth. His accent had also changed, instead of the Estuary accent her Doctor had adopted from her, he now had a much more normal accent.

Rose laughed incredulously. 

And then she hit him in the chest.

“Ow!” He said, even when she knew it hadn’t really hurt. He frowned at her but she could see it was a mocking frown.

“What did you do?” She demanded.

“Why does it always have to be my fault?” He argued back.

“‘Cause it usually is.”

“Well, not this time.”

They stared at each other for a second and then Rose laughed, the Doctor smiled at that.

“What the hell ‘s going on?”

“I don’t know.” He laughed.

His voice then took a serious tone, his face void of the playfulness from earlier.

“Something is happening, and I think it’s all connected to you.” He stared at her intensely, but she didn’t back down. She was as clueless as he was.

What was he searching for? His face that had been kind just a few seconds ago was now steel. She was startled, he had changed so much. Something must’ve been shown in her face because he lost a little of his harshness and continued talking.

“Or at least connected to Bad Wolf.” He sounded worried. Maybe that was what had prompted that reaction in him.

“Bad Wolf?” She took from her pocket the piece of paper with his number, and pushed it to him.

He looked at her and then at the piece of paper, his eyes widening.

“I found that in my pocket.” Rose said, still confused. “It’s my handwriting.”

The Doctor’s eyes glinted, the thrill of an enigma fueling with excitement. Rose had missed that look so much. He smiled at her, and then grabbed her hand.

Maybe she was romanticizing the whole thing, but when his hand wrapped around hers she felt like they were made to be together. Like this new hand had been made for her too, just as her Doctor’s had been.

“Well, Miss Tyler. It seems we have a mystery at our hands.” He said playfully.

Rose couldn’t help to match his energy, she grinned at him.

“It seems we do.”

He let go of her hand and started making his usual dance around the room, pushing buttons and levers.

“So! How do you feel about breakfast?” He asked.

She laughed, this Doctor was really goofy it seemed. “Lead the way.”

The Doctor pulled the dematerialization lever and the TARDIS groaned her familiar sound. It was music to Rose’s ears. He opened the doors to the Thames, and she stepped outside right behind him. As she looked around she saw the London Eye right behind them. A wave of nostalgia crashed through her immediately, memories of running from Autons hand in hand with her first Doctor. 

People started clapping around them, probably thinking the appearing blue box was part of a street performance.

“Thank you, thank you.” The Doctor started saying to the crowd of people gathered. He took a fez out of his (most probably) bigger-on-the-inside pockets. “Yes, magic blue box. All donations gratefully accepted. Roll up, give us your dosh. Pennies, pounds, anything you’ve got.” He took a few donations and passed the fez to Rose. “Keep collecting. We need enough for breakfast. Just popping back to the garage.”

“You were always a cheap date.” She teased him.

“Cheeky.” He said as he disappeared back inside the TARDIS.

A couple of minutes of more collecting, she heard the engine of a motor and then a motorcycle came out of the ship. A proper bike, no 50’s style vespa like the one her previous Doctor had taken her. She laughed incredulously.

“Fancy a ride, Babes?” He said with a forced cockney accent. It wasn’t a  _ ‘Going my way, Doll?’ _ but it was so similar it was obvious the Doctor was also in his own trip down memory lane, just like her.

“You think you’re so impressive.” Rose laughed as the Doctor passed her a pink helmet.

She climbed right behind him just as he said. “I am so impressive.”

He started the motor back up again and off they were. Rose clutched to him, using the ride as an excuse to hold herself close to him. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything and just smiled as they rode through the South bank.

They stopped in a small, hole in the wall café. It was a small shop with only one waitress, outside there were two garden tables, inside the walls were cream coloured, with a few flowers and plants for decoration, the furniture was mainly white and there were only four tables in the whole place. They ordered tea, scones and jam. The Doctor looked happy about the jam options so they paid extra to have more of them. They sat at a small table near the window and Rose saw as the Doctor put too many cubes of sugar on his tea. Apparently his tastes had changed too, she wondered if he still liked bananas and hated pears.

“You’re so different.” She said, but she was smiling fondly at him.

“New new new Doctor.” He answered.

Rose didn’t want to ask. She didn’t want to know when was the last time they had seen each other. It had been long for her, but what about him? His eyes looked older, and betrayed him even with his younger body. What had happened to him in the time she had been away? 

“How did it happen?” She didn’t specify, but the Doctor turned his head down to look at the table, avoiding her gaze.

“Somebody was in trouble. I helped.” It was an answer but not really what she wanted to know.

“On your own?” She thought she could hear her voice break at the end, but she tried her best holding in the feelings that were overwhelming her.

He nodded, still avoiding her gaze. 

“You shouldn’t do that. You’re rubbish by yourself.” She felt the tears threatening to fall, but she took a deep breath and tried to control herself.

The Doctor turned his gaze to her, scrutiny maring his features. She must have said something that ticked him off, but in a second the look was gone.

“How long has it been for you?” Rose asked, changing the subject.

“Too long. Around 300 years.”

Rose wondered if he had ever forgotten her name during that time, if he had talked to his companions about her. Did he feel the same way she still felt about him? It didn’t seem possible.

“How about you?”

“I was 87 when I went to sleep, and then I woke up here.” She said, she picked at her cuticles and avoided looking at him directly. “Time over there runs a little bit faster than here. At least, that’s what we thought. But I did grow old over there, so I don’t know why I’m young now.”

“How much do you remember before you woke up here?” He asked.

Rose frowned. She remembered her whole life in the parallel universe but…

“Dunno, I remember my life over there and I remember going to sleep and then…” She felt her vision blurr for a moment. The Doctor was startled by something, but she didn’t pay attention to it. “Golden light, and then the dreams started.” 

She tried to focus on the dreams but she could only remember fluttering images and conversations that didn’t make sense. A parade of different men, but who were the same person, the Doctor. Different times, different eras, different planets. The face of a little girl waiting for her. But a thick fog covered her dreams, and she couldn’t remember anything with clarity.

“What dreams?” The Doctor asked.

“I was a waitress, I think? No, it was the 80’s.” Her head hurt but she tried to focus. “I was a barmaid and then, then, I met you. This you.” She sighed. “I can’t remember.”

Nothing that she said had made sense, but the Doctor looked at Rose like it had. She couldn’t see how.

“I tried to save you.” She said. It was the only thing from her dreams that was crystal clear. “In my dreams I tried to save you.”

He smiled fondly at her.

“‘Course you did.”

They finished the scones, and the Doctor cleaned up the plates with the jam. She couldn’t believe she was sitting in front of the Doctor, back in her original universe, and she was acting like it was the most normal thing to happen to her. It probably wasn’t the weirdest, but she should be freaking out or something. The Doctor should be freaking out too, or at least pretend to be out of sympathy for her. Basically, there should be more freaking out all around, there should be an end of the universe revelation just around the corner, there should be aliens and screaming and possibly a super villain with a threatening speech. There should be a different reaction and not this, this normalcy.

She laughed incredulously.

“What’s happening?”

He looked at her, his eyes centering on her face, as if maybe if he looked at her enough the answers would come to him.

“I don’t know.” He said honestly. “Not sure I care.”

She snorted.

“What do we do?”

The Doctor stood up suddenly, and then pulled Rose with him and out of the shop. He was standing so close to her, he only had to whisper.

“We run.”

They returned to the TARDIS in the motorcycle, still teasing and... flirting? Was he flirting with her? It had been a normal thing before she got trapped in the other universe, standing together and holding hands or at least touching in some way. She couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful, maybe he felt the same way.

The Doctor snapped his fingers and the TARDIS’ doors opened. Now, that was a neat trick. The ship welcomed them back with a hum and a flicker of the lights. She loved this ship. Rose hoped from the bike when they entered the console room and the Doctor kept driving to what she thought was the garage. He returned quickly and made a show of his ship with his hands.

“So! All time and space, where do you want to go, Rose Tyler?”

The face of her northern Doctor came to mind. The exhilarating feeling she had felt on her first trip returned like she was nineteen again. She turned to look at the door and then at the column. She felt herself vibrate with excitement, she looked back at the Doctor.

“Impress me.”

He pulled down the lever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your comments, thank you so much, you're really kind! They're the best part of publishing this self indulgent story that I've been working on, truly.
> 
> I love writing from Rose's POV, I just love her personality, and it is a lot easier than writing from the Doctor's POV. 
> 
> I've changed quite a lot in this chapter, what with literally taking away the whole internet alien thing that escaped in that episode and was never talked about again plot. And there's even more changes to come! I didn't use the "Woman in the shop" bit, which we know is Missy, so that's going to completely change the sequel with the Twelfth Doctor (which I already started to write). Hope you stay until then. It's all a ripple effect from here.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and remember, your comments are my life force.
> 
> **Updates every Monday**
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thegeekproblem)   
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	6. The Rings of Akhaten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter, ever since I started working on the later chapters and the sequel everything has become so angsty and this chapter feels like a breather.
> 
> I chose to rewrite series 7 because it was the shortest in the way of planning because it as only half of the episodes and the work got out of my hands and has become something else. Hope you'll stay until the end.

The Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand and led her to the doors, her laugh carrying through the console room in a way that hadn’t happened in centuries. It all felt surreal, and he thought that if he stopped looking at her for even one second she would disappear from existence like a dream and he would wake up. The Doctor, in the TARDIS, with Rose Tyler. Just as it should be.

If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

The light telepathic presence he had felt when he saw Rose again became stronger when they held hands. It was small, not really potent or anything, but it reminded him of the TARDIS and all those times he had felt the pull of one of Rose’s shadows– as he had come to call them. Instead of disappearing after interacting with one of the Shadows like all the other times before, the telepathic presence stayed, leading him to believe that this was the real Rose Tyler. (Which still didn’t make sense, thank you very much).

She probably wasn’t even aware of this ability of hers, her mind now occupying a space in his head that had been empty for so long. Not invasive, not looking for something. Just,  _ there _ . He wanted to probe her mind, to test it, but it would be rude to do it without her explicit permission, and a little bit barbaric if you asked him. So he restrained his curiosity for a while, he would get to test it once they talked about it, and for now he would enjoy her warm presence without any guilt.

He squeezed her hand tighter and she did the same, her eyes sparkling with excitement and her smile lighting up the room. He loved this part.

“Do you trust me?” He said, just before pulling the doors open.

“Always.” She answered.

He smiled at that.

“Close your eyes.”

She easily did so. He let go of her hand to open the door and then pushed her towards the outside. She stumbled a little but he righted her stance, guiding her. The Sun of the alien system shined brightly as he arranged Rose to look directly at it. She was smiling with her eyes still closed and the Doctor wanted nothing more than to kiss her in that moment. He shook his head, he really shouldn’t think stuff like that, and walked to stand beside her.

“Can you feel the light on your eyelids?” He grabbed her hand, his own feeling lonely without it.

He wasn’t a hand holder in this body, or that was what he thought until Rose came back to his life against all odds, against the impossible.

“Yes” Rose nodded a little bit breathless.

“Open your eyes.” He whispered to her. 

Her eyes opened wide, glistening with the amazement that was so Rose, he couldn’t help to smile at that. “Welcome to the Rings of Akhaten.”

“It’s beautiful.”

And it was, it truly was. But he was more distracted by the girl beside him. Her awe was contagious.  _ This  _ is why he travelled with people, so he wouldn’t forget how amazing the universe was, so it didn’t become once again a backyard. 

The Sun shined lightly, bathing everything with its orange light. The meteorites floating around started to move until he finally spotted what he was looking for.

“And that,” he pointed as a temple in one of the meteorites appeared. “It’s the Pyramid of the Rings of Akhaten. It’s a holy site for the Sun Singers of Akhat. Seven worlds orbiting the same star. All of them sharing a belief that life in the universe originated here, on that planet.”

The lights casted shadows through the hundreds of meteorites. Rose’s eyes shone like gold, glittering with awe.

“Come on.” He gripped her hand tighter and pulled her back to the TARDIS.

Maybe if he held on to her hard enough she wouldn’t disappear.

He materialized his ship this time in the marketplace of the planet below them. 

“No more bumps or crashes, huh?” Rose commented.

“I’m a better driver.” He said, but Rose only raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at him. “Shut up.”

The Doctor took Rose outside by the hand. They exited the small alley where he had parked and entered the main street. They were immediately surrounded by the noise and people of the market. Hundreds of aliens, dozens of species, Rose Tyler standing right beside him. They walked, he pointed and explained the different aliens and she asked the right questions. It was like no time had passed between them, like it hadn’t been more than a hundred years since he had seen her, since they had enjoyed a moment like this. Time travel, indeed.

The last time they had gone to a place like this was right before the Cybermen and the Daleks and the parallel dimensions. 

Right before he lost her.

The Doctor tightened his hand on hers again and she looked at him curiously, he only smiled at her. She looked like she wanted to ask what was that about, but even if she did how could he answer if he barely understood it himself. She let it go and concentrated on her surroundings once more.

“So, is something happening? Why are there so many people?” She asked.

“For the Festival of Offerings. Takes place every thousand years or so, when the rings align. It’s quite a big thing, locally, like Pancake Tuesday” He explained. “I forget how much I like it here. We should come here more often.”

“We should.” Rose agreed easily. “How many times have you been here?”

“I came here a long time ago with my granddaughter.” He didn’t know why he mentioned her. He didn’t like to talk about his past to anyone, really. 

Then again,  _ Rose _ .

But she didn’t seem surprised, she only said. “Susan?”

The Doctor turned to look at her. She hadn’t sounded like it was a big deal, on the contrary, she seemed familiar with the name, like she had heard it a thousand times before. He was about to ask how she knew about that, when the memory of that last day at Bad Wolf Bay came to his mind. Of course.

“Yes. I see  _ he _ told you about that.” He tried for a nonchalant tone. He didn’t think he actually managed it.

“He told me lots of stuff, Doctor. He was you.” She looked at him seriously, so he avoided her eyes by paying more attention to their path.

“Right.” 

So Rose had married the metacrisis Doctor. He didn’t want to talk about that. The day he lost her for the last time. He was happy for her, truly, but thinking about the fact that it hadn’t been this him, filled him with jealousy. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known what was going to happen after he left. They were going to get married, have a family, grow old together. The only adventure he could never have. 

He should probably be a little bit curious. There was also the mystery of how she was here now, but how to care when he had her right beside him. Rose must have felt his reluctance to ask, because she continued.

“We were married.” She said cautiously.

“Of course you were,” he said, even if it broke his hearts a little, “wouldn’t have it any other way.” This time he looked at her and smiled.

He needed to stop worrying about everything, he should just enjoy it. Time had passed for both of them. He had married River (even if it had been reluctantly), he had had many companions after her, he had travelled for centuries and he had barely spoken her name. He had tried his best to forget her and the pain her name brought.

“Right!” He said loudly while looking around the different stalls. He finally found something interesting enough that would most definitely distract Rose. “Exotic fruit of some description.”

He grabbed a basket full of a shiny neon blue fruit from one stall and kept walking.  _ Let’s hope the owner won’t notice _ , he thought. He took his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and scanned the fruit.

“You changed the screwdriver!” Rose said surprised. “I like it!”

He preened. He really shouldn’t, since she was talking about his sonic and not him.

“And what about the new face?” He asked. Was that considered flirting?

She looked at him with a tongue touched grin as she straightened his bow tie. He wanted to kiss that grin away.

“I like it. The bowtie is cool.” She answered with a wink.

Was she flirting? Wait, were they both flirting? She thought his bowtie was cool. Stop it.

Fruit.

“Right. Non-toxic, non-hallucinogenic. High in free radicals and low in other stuff, I shouldn’t wonder.”

Rose grabbed one of the neon blue non-descriptive fruits, she bit into it and he waited for her assessment. She tilted her head and finally she said.

“Not bad.” And she kept eating the fruit.

He grabbed one himself and left the rest of the basket in another stall.

A canine looking alien approached them, stopping them in their tracks.

“Hey Miss! Fancy renting a moped?” The alien said as they pointed to what would be considered as a space bike.

“Oh! How much does it cost? Do we pay with credits?” Rose asked, clearly wanting to get on a floating moped.

“Not here. Something valuable. Sentimental value. A photograph, love letter, something like that. That’s what’s used for currency here. Psychometry. Objects psychically imprinted with their history. The more treasured they are, the more value they hold.”

The Doctor saw Rose reaching to her hand. Of course he had noticed immediately the rose gold band she was wearing, but he had thought it was just another ring and not a wedding band. He wanted to ask, how long were they married? Did they have kids? Grandkids? Were they happy? Was it everything he could only dream of?

“Nah.” Rose said, this time more quietly. “‘m good.”

He tried to search for something in his pockets. He may have something to pay with so they could both be distracted from their thoughts. He took out a yo-yo, many pens of many colours, jelly babies, jammy dodgers, but nothing that really mattered. He gave up and turned to Rose so they could get on with their exploring before the Festival. But Rose wasn’t there beside him. He looked back at the vendor to ask (had he hallucinated her? Please, God, no.) but they were already pointing to where she had gone.

She wandered off. Of course she did. 

He let a sigh of pure relief.

He better start looking for her before she got in trouble.

\-----

Rose was so distracted she didn’t notice the moment she got lost. She looked around but all the stalls looked the same to her, this is why she always walked hand in hand with the Doctor. She could already hear his comments about how she had wandered off again. He used to complain so much about that no matter which body he was in, she was expecting something in the same lines with this new Doctor.

A little girl crashed into her looking scared, she seemed to hear something that Rose didn’t and then kept running through the market. Rose could see where she went and was already planning to follow her, when two men dressed in red robes asked for the little girl. The girl was  _ running away _ . She pointed in the other way and waited until they had left to follow the little girl.

The market was still a blur of people and noise, but she had an idea as to where a scared child would go and hide. She rounded the corners here and there until she found a small backstreet where it seemed to be used for storage mostly. Bingo. 

Rose found the little girl behind a couple of boxes. 

“‘Ello? You okay there?”

The girl peered from her hiding place, looked at her curiously and then shook her head ‘no’.

“You hidin’?”

The girl shook her head again, this time ‘yes’.

“Are you in danger?”

This time the girl shrugged. Okay, so this girl was running from something but maybe it wasn’t dangerous. She relaxed and smiled.

“Is it okay I go over there?” Rose pointed at the place the girl was hiding.

The girl shrugged again, so Rose took it as a good sign and approached her slowly. The girl cautiously gave her space and then sat down on the floor, Rose did the same. 

She tried to avoid it but she immediately thought of her family. In the parallel universe she had had a complete family, she had both parents, a baby brother, and after that she had a husband and her own children. It was nostalgic, sitting beside a scared child like this. She used to do it with her brother Tony when he was afraid her mum was mad at him, then with her own kids when they wanted to avoid trouble. That had been long gone before she had woken up today in her original universe. She wanted to cry, her eyes watered but she sniffed purposely and looked at the little girl in front of her.

“What’s your name?”

“Merry.”

“Merry. What a pretty name.”

“You?”

“Rose.” She said kindly. Merry was calming down little by little so she continued. “Tell me, what’s going on.”

Merry shook her head but answered. “I’m just afraid of getting it wrong.”

“Getting what wrong?”

“The song?” Merry said, puzzled. When she finally realized Rose truly didn’t know she kept going. “I’m the Queen of Years?” She said for an explanation.

Rose didn’t actually know what she was talking about so she just stared.

“I’m the vessel of our history. I know every chronicle, every poem, every legend, every song.” Merry kept explaining.

“That’s brilliant!” 

“And now I have to sing a song in front of everyone. A special song. I have to sing it to a god. And I’m really scared.”

Oh. So that’s what’s all about. Stage fright. She could deal with this.

“You don’t have to be afraid. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody gets stuff wrong. And from all that you explained to me, I know for sure you know this song by memory. And let me tell you, you’re gonna be fantastic.”

Merry looked so much better now, so Rose passed her arm through her shoulders and gave her a hug. 

“Come on. Let’s get you back, a’right?”

Merry nodded and they left hand in hand from the alley. The two men from before appeared almost immediately and they gently took the girl away, with murmurs of reassurance and worry. Merry looked back to Rose, before turning around the corner. Rose gave her an encouraging thumbs up sign and Merry shook her head smiling and rolling her eyes at her. She remembered how much her thumbs up embarrassed her kids whenever she went to their school presentations, the Doctor would always exaggerate everything beside her so their kids were always telling them how ‘cringe’ they were. She smiled at the memory and cleaned the tears that were barely there. Those were good memories, so she shouldn’t cry about them.

She didn’t have enough time to dwell or feel sorry for herself, she was pulled out of her thoughts by a nearby shout.

“Rose!”

The Doctor came crashing into her, hugged her and spinned her around. She shrieked and laughed, probably weirding everyone around them. He finally put her down on the floor and let her go.

“What have you been doing, Miss wander-off Tyler?” He said with a pointed finger, just as she had predicted.

“Wandered off.” She said cheekily.

The Doctor huffed, doing a weird dance with his hands before grabbing her hand a little bit too tight and leading her to a different part of the marketplace.

“Come along.”

\-----

They arrived at the amphitheater just in time before the event started. 

The Doctor started to explain about the traditions and the history of the place in the quiet of their seats. Some people looked at him annoyed that he kept talking but Rose was listening to him with such attention he really didn’t care. The little girl, who he explained was the Queen of Years, turned to them with a shy smile and made a tiny wave to Rose. The Doctor frowned at her but as he saw Rose wave back at the little girl so he thought maybe it had to do with her time wandering off so he shrugged it off. Rose always made friends no matter which planet or time she was, she was just like that.

The ceremony continued, the offerings were presented and vanished in a puff of golden dust that reflected beautifully on Rose’s eyes.  _ Warm _ , he thought, as the presence of Rose in his head grew brighter and happier. He smiled, he was even more aware now of the weight of her hand in his, if he could stop time he would preserve this moment for eternity. The Queen of Years sang the  _ God of Akhaten _ while they observed the immense Sun in front of them. He thought he saw her eyes glistening like she wanted to cry but she was still smiling so he didn’t worry. 

Everything was going so well, which is why that was the perfect moment for everything to go wrong.

In less than a minute, the Queen of Years was being transported to the temple in the meteorite as an offering and The Doctor and Rose were running through the people in the market, clearly they had both thought of the same thing. They arrived at the renting place for mopeds. When he arrived he started rummaging through his pockets, and he grew frustrated by the minute.

“I need something precious!”

He looked at Rose. She stared at his eyes directly and took her wedding band.

“Rose–” He started, he didn’t want her to give away something that valuable.

“It doesn’t matter.” She said forcefully. “Merry’s in danger, we gotta hurry.”

He took the ring and paid for the moped, feeling guilty.

They raced through the asteroids in pursuit of Merry and they ended inside the temple being attacked by mummies inside a glass prison, soldiers whose sole purpose was to feed the Queen of Years to the Old God, and Merry trapping Rose in a telekinetic hold. All in all, their usual Saturday night. They were able to get rid of the soldiers and he was feeling quite positive about the outcome of the situation. That is, until he realized that the Old God wasn’t the mummy but in fact was the massive Sun in the middle of the Akhaten System.

As he stood there with Rose by his side and the little girl hiding behind them, the first thing that came to his mind is how mad Rose would be with him after she found out what his plan was.

“You’re going to fight it, aren’t you.” Rose said.

Oh, she knew him so well.

“Regrettably, yes. I think I may be about to do that.”

Rose grabbed his hand tightly.

“We could run.” She said

“We could always do that, great idea. Let’s go to Lake District. We can eat scones. They do great scones in 1927.” He answered but when he looked into her eyes he knew that neither of them were actually thinking about doing that.

“I’m staying with you.”

“No.” He said, this time facing her directly, and using his considerable advantage in height to look down at her.

She didn’t back down. Of course she wouldn’t, that’s Rose Tyler for you.

“You’re not.” He repeated.

“I’m not gonna leave you!”

“Yes, you are. Because we need to keep Merry safe.”

He saw Rose’s resolution waving at the mention of the child. Always worrying about everyone else but herself.

“Now, off you pop.” He said kindly with a reassuring smile. “Take the moped. I’ll walk.”

He saw a storm in Rose’s face, and for a moment he thought he saw golden specks dancing in her hazel eyes.

“I’ll see you later.” He said.

She smiled. “Not if I see you first.”

Rose took off with the moped, taking Merry to safety. He didn’t have hopes for her staying away from this place, though. Quite contrary, as soon as she was sure Merry was safe she most certainly would come back to the temple, so he had to sort out this mess before that happened.

He heard Merry sing again, a song about a warrior and rest. Oh, how he wanted that, to rest, to give up, to stop wanting to save the universe, to close his eyes and sleep. Rose’s face appeared clearly in his mind, her kindness and empathy, her bravery, how she never backed down from a fight, his beacon of light against the dark storm inside himself. This is what he did, he didn’t walk away when someone was in trouble, he fought and he won. He wished to hold her hand in that moment, to gather his strength from her warmth. 

He faced the Sun, the parasite that they called God, that fed on the emotions of the past, maybe it’ll take his pain away, maybe it’ll take his regret.

Energy tendrils started to connect him to the Sun, he could feel his energy start to drain. He tried his best not to focus on any memory in particular. He fought against the Sun, he screamed at it, he felt the pain and the sorrow and the loss. And then it stopped. The Sun retreating into itself, now completely full. He collapsed to the ground but before he touched the floor someone grabbed him and supported him. 

Her warmth, her smell, _his_ _Rose_.

He leaned into her, burying his nose in her hair– her scent a combination of roses and the energy of the Time Vortex– and closed his eyes, one arm wrapped firmly around her shoulders. She was here and real and nothing about her had been taken away from him. He pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, this time he couldn’t lie to himself, her eyes glowed golden, specks of light floating around them. She looked beautiful.

She turned to look at the Sun, and the Doctor saw the light from her eyes feeding the creature in front of them. Rose didn’t seem aware of anything, she just held onto him and looked with absent eyes into the Sun. This was important. It definitely had to do with the reason why she was back, but he was so tired. After a few more seconds the light in her eyes started to fade and she returned to consciousness.

“Doctor?” She asked, her voice waving.

“Hello.” He said finally.

She smiled at him and her eyes finally turned back to normal.

“Hello.”

\-----

They returned to the TARDIS, Rose helping him along the way, and if by halfway there he was feeling fine enough to walk without leaning into her, well, that was only for him to know. Still, he took most of his weight from her and kept walking with his arm around her shoulders.

His ship greeted them with a hum when they entered, clearly unhappy with his stunt. He entered the dematerialization sequence and sent them to the Vortex.

“Should we take you to the infirmary?” asked Rose.

“Don’t think so.” He waved her worries away and finally let her go. “Already back to normal.”

“You should still rest.” she said earnestly.

He thought about it. He could probably take a kip before anything else, an hour or two since he didn’t actually need that much sleep, his last sleep cycle had been not so long ago, but he really didn’t want to go and leave Rose. She could disappear, somehow.

“I could probably rest in the library.” He suggested. 

Rose seemed to debate something in her head, finally she sighed.

“A’right.” She agreed. “But I’m staying with you to see that you do.” 

He smiled, that was exactly what he had hoped for.

“Fair enough.”

“I’m gonna make a cuppa, I’ll see you there.”

He nodded and she took off for the galley. He watched her back disappear and turned to the monitor.

“Make a full scan of her and show me.” He said to his ship.

The TARDIS hummed angrily at him but did as he said. The calculations appeared on the monitor showing Rose’s silhouette and basic data, but the results never came. The screen went to its normal sequence of data and stopped the scanning.

“What are you doing?” He asked the ship while looking at the rotor with a frown. “This is important.”

Again, his ship only sent the equivalent of a ‘sod off’ and refused to make the scan.

“What if she’s in danger?” He insisted, but his ship ignored him again.

This is what you get when you have an omnipresent sentient time ship.

This time he felt a mental push telling him to go to the library and stop wasting time. He frowned at the rotor and left the console room begrudgingly.

He walked the hallways slowly until he reached his destination. The library, the  _ real _ library, was enormous, with five floors and a sky ceiling that showed images of a hundred galaxies. You could get lost in it. But the library he had always gone with Rose had been his personal library. It was cozier, still full of thousands of books, with a fireplace forever burning, his favourite armchair and a large sofa for guests, a coffee table and an oak desk. They had spent hundreds of nights winding down from their adventures with a cup of tea in this place, the sofa had been theirs as they cuddled in front of the fireplace.

After she was gone he stopped coming to this place, opting to go to the massive library if he needed any book, or go to the media room to spend some time with his companions. It had been too painful at the beginning to share this place with anybody else, and after a while the place just hadn’t felt right anymore.

Now here he was, standing in the doorway looking at a piece of his past. There in the large sofa sat Rose, like it was hundreds of years ago, a cup of tea already at her hands, the other cup on the side table with a plate of Jammy Dodgers.

It was a dream.

He entered the library and sat down beside Rose. 

“How’re you feeling?” She asked immediately.

“I think I should be the one asking you that.” He replied, so used to diverge from any question about his well being.

“‘m not the one that fed his memories to a giant Sun today.” She teased but her underlying worry was still there.

“I’m fine. Top notch. Right as a bird.” He answered.

She searched for something on his face, she must have found whatever it was because she calmed down and smiled.

“Okay.”

He fidgeted a little on his seat. He hadn’t had this kind of intimacy in a long while, it was unnerving and exhilarating at the same time. He grabbed the cup and drank. It was exactly how he drank it, he turned to look at her. She was looking at him, as if waiting for his response. He smiled at that, so she  _ had _ been paying as much attention to him as he had been to her.

“Smashing cuppa, as always.”

She beamed. If this was her response to him complimenting her tea maybe he would compliment her everyday. He left the cup back on the table and turned to her. His hand went to his pocket and finally he took out Rose’s ring and showed it to her. She gasped.

“I nicked it back after we got the moped.” He said, trying for a casual tone.

She grabbed the ring, crying but with a huge smile.

“Thank you.” She said so honestly it almost broke him.

“Least I could do.”

He saw Rose put the wedding back on. Again, he wondered. 

Rose had said that she grew old in the other universe, that she had been an old woman before waking up here, 87 years old. So she must have died in the other universe before her consciousness travelled back to this universe. But what about her body? Curiouser and curiouser. Bad Wolf happened when she was nineteen, was this a body made by her for this moment exactly? That would explain why her body was young. It didn’t explain why the TARDIS refused to show him her scans. Was she still human? Human-ish?

“Were you happy?” He asked.

“Yes. Very much.” She said as she fiddled with the ring. “The Doctor, my Doctor,” she clarified and he winced, hoping she hadn’t seen how much that hurt, “he had to take a human name for papers and official stuff, he used John Noble, but we never called him that. He didn’t want to wait, he proposed a few months after settling in the other universe.”

Of course he wouldn’t wait, if he felt the same as he did (and he did, he was him), he would have started his search for a ring as soon as he could. 

A ring. Now that he thought about it, was that her original ring? Had that travelled with her?

“Where did the ring come from?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“When I woke up it was there,” Rose frowned, she went to grab the chain at her neck and pulled, showing him a TARDIS key, “this, too.”

A mystery wrapped in another bigger mystery. Like a russian doll.

“I kept it in a box in my house, so I don’t know why it’s here.” She continued.

“Just one more thing to figure out, I suppose.” He said, trying for a lighter tone.

His body felt heavy, he should definitely take that kip now, but he wanted answers, he needed to understand. But, of course, Rose noticed it. 

“You should rest.” She started to move away from the sofa, probably to go to the armchair, but the Doctor stopped her with a hand on hers. 

He should always be holding her hand.

“Stay, the sofa is big enough.” It wasn’t really. He knew, she knew. 

She nodded.

She settled down back again and looked at him pointedly. Right. Sleep. He took off his jacket and his shoes, untied his bowtie leaving him in his waistcoat. This was the most level of undress he would allow himself at the moment. After fidgeting for a few more moments, debating about taking off his watch and realizing he was only delaying the inevitable, he turned to look at Rose. She was looking at him, fighting back a smile, clearly wanting to make fun of him.

“Right. Yes.”

He decidedly did not look at her as he lay his head on her lap, his feet propped up on the armrest. She didn’t look surprised at all.

They used to do this, back then. Whenever he felt tired enough to sleep he would ask her to go to the library and he would fall asleep with his head on her lap while she played with his hair. Sometimes they would both sleep sprawled on the sofa, her on top of him. Sometimes she would fall asleep with her head on his shoulder while he read to her out loud.

Anxiety coursed through him. What if this was a dream? What if he woke up alone in his TARDIS? It seemed too good to be true.

“Rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

She always knew what to say. 

He relaxed his body and focused on his breathing, on her warmth, on her fingers on his scalp, and before he knew it, he was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Your comments are my life force!
> 
> I always felt like the relationship between the TARDIS and Rose was downplayed in the show after the whole Bad Wolf thing, but in the novels there were a few comments here and there about it, I even made [a post](https://thegeekproblem.tumblr.com/post/627979700041629696/rose-tyler-is-amazing) of some of them that appeared in the novels. So this is me sprinkling all of that in my work.
> 
> Next chapter is all fluff and comfort, I hope you like it!
> 
> **Updates Every Monday!**
> 
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	7. The Bits in Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of original content for you, I just thought it was way to quick to jump to the Cold War chapter and that we needed a bit of a respite in between. I've been adding comments about the expanded media to the work here and there, they aren't that big but you can expect more and more winks to the expanded media in chapters to come. I had lots of fun writing this chapter, and maybe I'm using it as a little foreshadow of sorts, hope you enjoy it.

Rose woke up in her bedroom instead of the library. She must have fallen asleep while the Doctor took a kip and he must have brought her here. She felt her face grew hot at the thought, she was almost 90 years old, why was she reacting like this. 

She wondered how long she had slept, she felt well rested so she probably had more than just a few hours. That had never happened with her past Doctor, he usually got antsy quickly and went to bother her as soon as enough rest hours had passed. Her human Doctor also didn’t need too many hours of sleep but he didn’t mind spending hours in bed as long as she was with him, he said he liked watching her sleep. She sighed and buried herself deeper in the bedsheets, they were so soft and comfy she never wanted to move. She should get up, the Doctor must be bored out of his mind. With that in mind, she finally stretched and left the bed. 

She was still in yesterday’s clothes so she decided to take a shower before anything else. The shower started running in that moment, the water already heating to the perfect temperature. She smiled at that, she loved these moments where the TARDIS showed just how sentient she was. She grabbed a towel from her closet and went in the shower, shedding her clothes and leaving them on the floor. 

She must admit that at the beginning she found it a little creepy that the TARDIS just knew little things like that– the temperature of her shower, her size of clothing and shoes whenever she went to the wardrobe, the firmness of the bed she preferred. She had told the Doctor the first time the shower had ran on its own, he only looked at her weirdly and with his then northern accent told her that maybe the TARDIS really liked her, he had looked at the time rotor as if trying to solve a puzzle but shrugged it off and let it go. 

She wondered if the ship did stuff like this for other companions, if she had liked them as much as she seemed to like her. A rotund ‘NO’ feeling vibrated inside her head and she laughed at that. The TARDIS didn’t really  _ talk _ with her, but communicated through feelings and images, little mental nudges and the physical hums and flickering lights.

Everything in her bathroom was the same, just like the bedroom. Her products were there, half used, some of them sprawled on the sink, some on the bathtub. She wrinkled her nose, had she really been this messy when she was young? The affirmative hum of the TARDIS felt like a betrayal. She glared at the ceiling, the ship ‘laughed’ at her.

She grabbed the shampoo and shower gel and smelled them before going in the shower. They were a little bit too sweet for her now, the rose-vanilla scent overwhelmed her a little, she would have to buy new shower products, it seemed. She still liked the smell of roses, no matter how much people thought it was ridiculous of her, she’d just have to search for a more delicate rose smell.

She finished her shower quickly and left the bathroom. She rummaged through her 2000’s clothes for a while until she finally gave up. She didn’t have anything she liked anymore, her style had mainly consisted of hoodies and jeans in that time and while that hadn’t changed that much (she loved being comfy, and hoodies and jeans were the comfiest clothes ever), the style of the clothing she wore had. She needed a new wardrobe, too.

“I need to go shopping.” She sighed in frustration.

The lights flickered in the room and she looked at the ceiling curiously and then around her room. The light beside her armchair lighted up, showing her a white tee and denim shorts, the pink sneakers she had been wearing the day before and a pink cap. She smiled brightly at the ceiling this time.

“Thank you!” She said aloud. “Really need to go shopping, though.”

She knew she didn’t have to talk out loud to the ship for her to hear her, but she felt better when she did it, like she wasn’t alone in her room. She went to her vanity, the makeup that was draped over its surface was way too much for a person to use. She wasn’t going to say anything about that, though; she still bought tons of makeup that she knew she would only use once and then leave there gathering dust. Some things just didn’t change no matter how old you were.

She did a light make up and got dressed. She dried her hair before putting the cap on. 

It was a cute outfit, but still simple and comfortable.

Rose finally left her room and went to the console room, she could hear the frustrated noises of the Doctor as he fought with the TARDIS. She snickered at that, he used to make comments about how he felt ganged up on by her and the ship back then; it seemed that nothing had changed in that department.

“Morning.” She said brightly, surprising the Doctor.

“Rose!” He turned the monitor away quickly, which was suspicious.

She frowned but let it go easily. They hadn’t seen each other in decades (centuries for him), if he needed to keep some things to himself she wasn’t going to begrudge him. She still hadn’t shared everything that had happened to her after Bad Wolf Bay either, after all.

“So,” she said easily, “‘m thinking breakfast and then shopping.”

“Shopping?” He asked, perplexed.

They had gone to bazaars and markets back in her travelling days, but she had never outright asked for a shopping trip before.

“Yes.” She said with a firm nod of her head. “All my clothes here are from the 2000’s and not really my style anymore so I need new clothes.”

“There’s an infinite wardrobe in the TARDIS.” He said, pointing vaguely at the hallway she had come from.

She rolled her eyes.

“Yes, but I want to choose my own clothes.” She walked around the console and stood in front of the Doctor. “Come on, Doctor. Teenagers today are so fashionable, I want to dress like that.” She tried to argue.

“Yes, but you’re not a teenager anymore.” He said, which was true.

“But I look like one.” She approached the Doctor and grabbed his arm leaning heavily on him. She looked at him with a smile and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

The Doctor avoided her gaze, muttering something in another language but he didn’t try to get away from her. When the Doctor finally sighed and looked down at her, she knew she had won.

“Fine.” He grumbled.

Rose beamed at him and let go of his arm to let him pilot. She looked around the console room, loving the way the rotor moved in the middle and the lights flickered different colours. She missed the jumpseat that was big enough for the two of them to sit and talk, but she guessed it was okay if she got this lovely room in return.

“What’s that say?” She pointed to the top of the rotor, where the beautiful writings in gallifreyan were spinning.

“Names, of all my companions.” He said

She looked again at the circles and lines, somehow becoming more beautiful than before. All those people who had travelled with the Doctor, who had been his friends, had touched him so deeply he displayed their names to remember them. She smiled, so he hadn’t been alone. She looked closely and thought one of them looked like the one on her door.

“Which one’s mine?” She asked, hating how egocentric it sounded.

But, she wanted to know. She picked her cuticles as the Doctor came around the console to stand beside her.

He grabbed her hand and used it to point at the symbol on the rotor.

“That one.” 

They were close, too close. She could feel his warmth and the way his breath caressed her skin. The way the lines turned and formed circles looked wonderful, she smiled at him and then at the writings. It didn’t matter how many names there were on the rotor because her name was there, too, and he hadn’t been on his own.

He took her to Delta Tauri, an earth colony of the future, and a popular planet for shopping and leisure. The weather was perfect so she didn’t worry about also getting a jacket from the wardrobe, and if she got cold she thought the Doctor would give him his jacket. Her past two (or was it three now?) Doctors used to do that. She did go for a bag that was bigger on the inside so the shopping would go easier and without a hassle.

They bought a light blue cold drink that tasted similar to a muffin and worked as a food supplement and left for the shops. She didn’t worry about the money this time since they could pay with credits and the Doctor always carried an unlimited credit stick in his pockets.

They shopped for hours, the Doctor never complaining but going along with her. He even went as far as trying and buying multiple bow ties and hats. She bought jumpers and hoodies more to her modern style, a few dresses and multiple sneakers. 

She liked how silly and childish this Doctor acted, all hyper and uncoordinated, even if she deep down thought it was just an act, a mask he wore to protect himself from the rest of the world. She thought she could see it, his true self, reflected in his eyes, they still held the weight of the years and guilt and loneliness, they still felt ancient and timeless. But, whenever he looked at her he seemed lighter. She wanted to believe it was because he still felt something for her, just like she would always do. She didn’t want to get her hopes up, but when she turned to look at him and catched him looking at her, his eyes still held the intensity she had seen in her Doctor’s eyes. 

In between their shopping and goofing around they talked. Sometimes slipping bits of information that was actually important.

“How long were you married?” The Doctor asked her when she was inside a changing room trying another dress.

“Umm.” She frowned as she tried to remember. “62 years. We married a year after you left us.” She wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty with that comment, she winced and hoped he hadn’t taken it that way.

If he had, his voice didn’t give him away. “How did he die?”

She smoothed her dress, it was cream colour with cherries all over. She stood in silence looking at the mirror, at her  _ young _ face, at her eyes, fighting to get the words out of her mouth. She remembered her Doctor’s smile, the way he talked, the way he called out for her, rolling her name on his tongue, the way he would hug her close. She missed him even now, even after all this time, even when he was standing a few feet from her, waiting for her answer. But he wasn’t the same, she knew it, he knew it. That Doctor, that version of the Doctor, her Doctor, her  _ husband _ , was gone. 

She felt her eyes sting. She cleared her throat and finally she said.

“His heart stopped.” Her voice trembled but she kept going. “Two years ago. He was 97 I think, we figured he was in his mid thirties when he was, you know.”

Born? Created? She frowned. 

She sniffed and cleaned her eyes. She stepped outside to show him the dress and found him standing right in front of the curtain. They were standing close, really close. She looked up, his eyes looking sad and guilty at her.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“Don’t be.” She said firmly. “It was a good life.”

She gave him a tentative smile, which he returned immediately. She took a step back and twirled.

“What do you think?” She said, trying to leave behind the sadness of the conversation.

“Striking.” He answered and the grave conversation was left behind.

Those serious conversations would come up sometimes during the days to come.

\----- 

After their shopping trip the Doctor took Rose to watch a meteor shower from the floating TARDIS. Some meteors would come amazingly close to the ship but would miss it every time. They looked outside from the open doors, both sitting with their legs dangling from the border holding hands. Rose had her head on his shoulder, like she couldn’t bear to have too much space between them. If he was honest, neither could he.

The last time they had seen a meteor shower together he had been more daring and a little bit reckless, chasing one of the meteors with the TARDIS so Rose could see how they looked from up close. He was trying to impress her, obviously, and at the time he guessed it had worked quite well, although they had to wait for a couple of hours until the ship had recalibrated again so they could move on to their next adventure. He wasn’t the type to sit still for long in that body (neither in the one he was wearing right now, if he was being honest), so he always wondered how the Metacrisis had fared being Earthbound. Had they really been left stranded or had they managed to get the small piece of the TARDIS to grow into their own time ship? Did they work for that universe’s Torchwood? Once again he wondered about how her life had been in the parallel universe. 

“Where’s Donna?” She asked before he could figure what to ask first.

He avoided answering at first, playing with her hand in his. She didn’t say anything, just waited.

“She’s married, happy.”

“I’m sorry.” She said softly.

“He told you.”

She nodded but didn’t move her head from his shoulder. “She was your best friend.”

Of course, she knew. He knew he would have to erase Donna’s memories from the moment they were all piloting the TARDIS, it was obvious that his Metacrisis had known, too. He wondered if he had told her all about his travels with Martha and Donna, he probably did.

“Yeah, she was.”

They stayed silent for a few minutes more, just admiring the view.

“How long were you travelling by yourself? You know, before I came back.” 

He shrugged, not hard enough for her to move her head.

“Few years, I guess.”

“And before that? Who did you travel with?”

“Amy Pond and Rory Williams.” He smiled at the memory, it was still raw, after all these years. “They were married, so technically she was Amy Williams.”

This time she did move, she looked at him inquisetly. “A married couple on the TARDIS?”

“I know.” He said with a tiny laugh. “By the end they were more like part time companions.”

“You take people part time?” She asked, sounding bewildered.

“If I like them enough, I suppose.” He answered.

The meteors continued passing in the starry sky, neither taking their eyes from it. 

“Tell me about them?” She didn’t demand for him to tell her, she didn’t force him to say anything he didn’t want to, she only asked and waited. Always.

He squeezed her hand harder.

“Soon.”

He felt her nod on his shoulder, and the conversation ended.

\------

The Doctor decided to take Rose to the premiere of the Muppet Movie in 1979, and the TARDIS actually complied. Apparently his ship was settled on being helpful for once, taking him exactly where he wanted to go, avoiding trouble completely.

Rose had run excitedly to the wardrobe, claiming to need to dress up for the time. The Doctor didn’t think it was necessary, people tended to ignore stuff that was different but he guessed she knew that and just wanted the excuse.

As the Doctor put the coordinates on the monitor and pulled the materialization lever, Rose arrived, already changed. She was wearing a denim mini skirt, a light blue turtleneck and knee high boots. Her short hair was left naturally wavy (it seemed she couldn’t be bothered to straighten it anymore this time around) and she had a pair of heart shaped sunglasses perched on top of her head.

She looked devastatingly gorgeous. 

Maybe he should make more excuses to go to places where she could dress up.

He was already making a list of places and times where Rose would get to dress up when he noticed she was looking at him with a cheeky grin, as if waiting for him to say something. Right. He should. Say something that is.

“You look beautiful.”

“Considering?” She asked, still smiling at him.

“No. Just. Lovely.” He croaked out. He cleared his throat and continued. “I see the TARDIS showed you where the era appropriate clothing was.”

“She did.” She answered as she came close to him.

“I think she likes you better than me.” He said as he ogled the way the boots accentuated certain… assets.

“Mmm, I dunno. You seem to enjoy my clothes just as much.” She winked at him and he teared his eyes from her legs.

“1979!” He said, grabbing her hand leading her to the doors.

She only laughed.

They arrived at an alley so they had to walk to the Leicester Square Theatre. As they walked the streets, passed the shops and restaurants, Rose’s smile grew wider and wider.

“I can’t believe it! We actually made it!” She sounded surprised that he had actually managed to get them there.

“Of course we made it!”

“Last time we tried to come to this year, we ended up meeting Queen Victoria.” She said as an explanation. “You never managed to get us to that concert.”

“That body wasn’t a good driver.” He grumbled.

They walked hand in hand all the way to the theater and they entered with the help of the psychic paper. It was a great movie, and any excuse to sit closely to Rose was a good idea in his book. 

He heard Rose sigh wistfully through the  _ Rainbow Connection _ song, she laughed in the right moments and sang every song under her breath. The moment when  _ I’m Going To Go Back There Someday _ played she sniffed lightly, but she didn’t make any other sound and even when her face shined with silent tears she didn’t get up and leave. 

After the movie Rose stopped him and told him to wait a minute. She went to the bathroom, and stayed there for a lot longer than what he thought was good. There were other people there but he could hear her little sniffs from the outside. He couldn’t bear to hear that, so he entered the bathroom and ignored all the screams and protest of everyone in there to go to Rose’s side. People left, rather scandalized by him just entering the bathroom,  _ this is a women’s bathroom! _ he thought he heard an angry old woman say. Right, that was a thing in the past, wasn’t it, gendered bathrooms. That’s human sensitivities of the past for you, he guessed. 

Rose was in front of a mirror cleaning her face with a paper towel.

“Sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry.” He said quickly.

She shook her head and smiled at him. Oh, how he loved her.

“It’s not your fault. ‘s just–”

Rose grabbed a new paper towel and wrung it between her hands, looking intensely at the way the paper wrinkled and broke.

“It was Jack and David’s favourite movie.”

Now he was confused.

“Who?”

Rose laughed a sad laugh. She seemed to debate inside her head. They had been getting to know each other all over again through the past couple of days but it was still difficult for them to share intimate memories.

“My kids.”

“Oh.” Of course. She had been married, it was a possibility. What to say to that? 

“Well, it was your favourite movie, too.” She said as an explanation. “Is it still?”

“Of course it is!”

She gave a little laugh.

“Wait.” He said. “Jack as in Jack Harkness?” He asked incredulously.

She burst out laughing and she nodded. He had managed to make her laugh, he’ll count that as a win.

“He wasn’t happy about that either. But he got to pick David’s name.”

She started to rip the paper towel in her hands in small pieces, throwing them to the trash can before grabbing another and doing the same to it. 

“What happened to Jack?” She tried to change the subject.

“Went off planet, last I heard.” He answered.

She nodded looking at the floor, he shoulders hunched and her hair covering part of her face. She looked so small right at that moment.

The Doctor fidgeted a little before deciding to just go and hug her. She fitted perfectly in his arms. She snuggled into him, and he buried his nose in her hair. 

That was how the guard of the theater found them, ready to throw the both of them out. The Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand and they ran from the theater.

They arrived to the TARDIS laughing. The Doctor was feeling a little bit reckless, and he wanted to test his luck, maybe go there and kiss her, but before his brain could decide on what to do Rose hugged him again. 

It’s okay, he didn’t need anything else apart from this.

“Thank you.” She whispered against his shoulder.

Everything was right with the world.

\-----

The Doctor was below deck making some (unnecessary) repairs and thinking. 

Rose had asked for the morning free so she could throw all of her expired products away and to take her outdated clothes to the TARDIS main wardrobe, so he was waiting for her to finish the only way he knew how, tinkering. The new layout of the ship didn’t allow him to just sit there and make the repairs, so he was standing, craning his neck to look up at the cables that hung above him, his jacket discarded somewhere on the railing above and his safety glasses resting on top of his head.

The past couple of days felt like an illusion, an elaborate dream created by a deluded mind, being beside Rose was a thrilling and surreal experience he didn’t know he had needed. Somehow, messing up with the ship was the most real thing he had done in the past couple of days, the humming in the background soothing and harmonious.

He felt like running. Surprisingly, he felt like running towards Rose.

In his past body, running away from his feelings from her had been natural, he was too scared of what would happen to him after she was gone. He hadn’t thought he would get to experience that so soon. When he saw her again, at the end of that dark street in the middle of the apocalypse, the feeling of running returned, somehow stronger, no longer running away from her but towards her. He had experienced what it was like to live without her, full of regrets, and he didn’t want that anymore.

And then he lost her, again.

When he regenerated, he thought he would run away from everything, all the pain of remembering. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Run and forget no longer seemed like a viable option.

Rose Tyler, back in his life. Blimey, who would have thought? He let an incredulous laugh, the TARDIS singing happily in his head. His ship was also overjoyed with Rose’s presence, always taking them to amazing places, no trouble at all, helping Rose with whatever she needed. 

He heard her steps before he saw her head poking upside down from the floor above.

“Wotcha!” She said as a greeting.

He turned to her, already feeling the thrill running through his body. “You finished?”

“Yep.” She moved her hands under her chin, but stayed in the same position looking at him.

“Did the TARDIS show you where to put your clothes?”

“She did.”

He went to the floor above and Rose moved until she was facing him, still seated on the floor. He started to enter a new set of coordinates but in a second they were changed to a different one. He examined the new location, he knew the place and it was probably a better place than the one he had been thinking of. He looked at the time rotor with a look that said that he knew what the ship was thinking (he didn’t know if looking at the time rotor or some other place would make a difference but it felt somehow appropriate to do so).

Rose was looking once more at the names on top, her eyes shining with the reflection of the lights.

“Do I know any of them?” She asked.

The Doctor went to sit beside her and looked up.

“Of course you do.” He started pointing at the symbols, “That one’s Jack, and there’s Mickey. You met Martha and Donna briefly. Sarah Jane.”

“What happened to Mickey? I know he decided to stay in this universe, we talked about it.”

“I think he’s a special agent at U.N.I.T, he married Martha.”

“Really? Good for him.” She said, clearly happy for her friend. “Would be nice to see him again.” She said wistfully.

She knew he didn’t like visiting past companions, and maybe that was the reason she wasn’t outright asking.  _ Your wish is my command _ , he had said in the past, and he was a little grateful she wasn’t asking.

“Sure. Maybe. We’ll see.” He racked his brain to change the subject, and he was surprised with himself that he actually wanted her to know about his companions.

It was probable that the Metacrisis had talked about them, but  _ he _ hadn’t, and he wanted to share that with Rose.

“Sarah Jane has a son now!” He said, “I don’t know the full story, but she adopted him. I also saw a companion from a long time ago, her name’s Jo and…” And that’s how it started.

It was like a dam had opened, and he was talking about his past companions, his friends, his family, his planet. He didn’t share everything, skipping the parts that were too painful for him, but he shared the fun parts and delighted himself with the sound of Rose’s laugh.

They didn’t leave the TARDIS that day, they stayed in the console room, on the floor, laughing and sharing a little bit of their past. The bits in between.

\-----

Rose loved this part. Different ground beneath her feet, different sky.

They were standing on an alien beach with white sand and a pink ocean, the sea breeze was refreshing, and the sun was setting in the distance. It was beautiful. As soon as she had opened the TARDIS doors and saw the ocean she had leapt outside running while trying to take her shoes off. She jumped and squealed her excitement and forcefully dragged the Doctor anywhere she went.

Now, Rose stood barefoot on the sand, a pair of white sneakers in her hands, her face to the sun. The heat travelled through her body and she was glad to have opted for a white summer dress that day. She inhaled, the smell of the ocean so different from what she was used to but still refreshing. The Doctor stood right beside her, still fully dressed, explaining where and when they were.

“47th Century. We are standing on the beaches of Spe, a planet that won’t be colonized for at least another millennia.” The Doctor said as he moved his arms around pointing at the ocean.

She liked how much lighter the Doctor looked after a few days together. She liked to think it had been because of her, because she loved him and cared for him and that’s what he needed right now. He must know how very much still in love with him she was. After all, she had married a human version of the man, a version that was exactly the same in every way.

She looked at the Doctor with a smile, he was explaining a little bit about the composition of the sand or something but she really wasn’t paying that much attention. The past few trips had been trouble free, enjoying the actual exploring of new planets parts of their trips. They had returned to their previous routine of going back to the Library every night before going to bed just to spend time together, they had cuppa and jammy dodgers (because this Doctor loved them), sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn’t. Sometimes he would get the courage and go into long winding stories of his time with his past companions Amy and Rory, about the crack in the universe and the Pandorica Box, about Amelia Pond, the girl who waited, and Rory Williams, the Last Centurion. Sometimes she would tell him about the life she had, about how they managed to grow their own TARDIS and the adventures they had, about how they travelled until they couldn’t anymore and passed it down to their now adult kids. Sometimes they would just watch EastEnders until Rose fell asleep, and she would wake up in her bedroom every time after that. 

Some things were different. This Doctor didn’t knock on her door as soon as he knew she had got enough sleep, he didn’t grab his ear when he was nervous, instead his hands would twitch by his sides, he didn’t drink his tea with milk and two sugars (just like she did) but instead he put so much sugar in it it was mostly syrup instead of tea.

“You aren’t paying attention.” The Doctor said, taking her out of her own thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Why, Rose Tyler, do I dash you?” He asked with a knowing smile.

There was also flirting, so much flirting, a different kind of flirting. She didn’t know if he actually meant it or if it was a personality trait of this incarnation, but she couldn’t help herself to reply the same way.

“You know it.” She answered with a smile and a wink.

But no matter how different he was, he was still the Doctor, the same man. And no matter how many centuries it had been for him, he still looked at her the same way he had.

The Doctor got close to her, but seemed to think better in his head and stopped almost a feet from her. Close, but not enough. She frowned. She forcefully grabbed his hand and pulled him to her, he flailed a little but righted himself before actually falling. She smiled cheekily at him.

They walked for a while, him talking a mile per minute and her not really listening. He went quiet after a while, and they both took a pause after a moment just looking at the sea.

“Tell me, Doctor. What happened to Rory and Amy?” She asked

The Doctor had been trying to open more to her. She knew how hard it was to talk about his past, and it had been centuries for him since they last had seen each other, so she gave him a wide berth. She still asked, of course, she just didn’t expect him to answer.

She wasn’t expecting one now either, but he looked at her and then at his own shoes, clearly debating to tell her or not.

“I lost them.” He said quietly.

She squeezed his hand tighter, trying to convey all the love she could into the action.

“Weeping Angels.” He continued. “They were thrown back in time together to New York, during the 40’s. They grew old, they were happy at the end.” He said, trying for a smile.

Rose also gave him a sad smile, and then let go of his hand and moved around to face him and give him a hug. He flailed his hands about for a moment before hugging her with all his strength, picking her lightly from the sand.  _ Tea and Time _ , she thought. A scent that hadn’t changed after three bodies.

He put her down after a while, separating just a little from her. She looked at him closely, wondering how much pain he was carrying. She had helped her Doctor, her first Doctor torn from the war, and then her human Doctor and the genocide he had committed. Maybe, just maybe, she could help this one, too.

“There’s me.” She said, trying to convey all the things she still couldn’t put in words.

And the Doctor smiled at her. 

Everything was going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and all your lovely comments!
> 
> The chasing meteors scene comes from the novel The Price of Paradise by Colin Brake. I said it before but I love the expanded media, it's literally just canon fanfiction, I even made a compilation of [Domestic Moments](https://thegeekproblem.tumblr.com/post/628918981378637824/the-doctor-and-rose-were-sooo-domestic) of the Doctor and Rose from just the novels, do not get me started with the audio dramas. 
> 
> Also, if you're curious about the novels but not sure about picking one up, I've been writing reviews for them in my tumblr and my goodreads, so you can go and check them out.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thegeekproblem)   
>  [Goodreads](https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/120138022-thegeekproblem)   
>  [Tumblr](https://thegeekproblem.tumblr.com)


	8. Cold War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I complained about how much I hate that ao3 corrects me when I write colour or favourite??? Well, now I have.

Rose left the wardrobe of the ship wearing a late 60’s pink silky dress and matching Mary Janes that were comfortable enough in case running was required. It hadn’t been the case in their last trips, always landing in peaceful places, and she was starting to wonder if maybe the TARDIS had been involved somehow. She liked trouble as much as her but she seemed to have chosen to give them space to get to know each other better. The singing of the spaceship grew more cheerful in her head. Oh, how she loved this ship. Rose patted one of the walls of the hallways trying to convey all the gratitude she could.

The Doctor was reading something on the monitor when she arrived at the console room, sunglasses on top of his head. Of course, he hadn’t changed his clothing at all, but she was already used to the fact that no one seemed to think it was weird to see a man wearing out of time clothing but someone always commenting on how she was dressed.

“I’m starting to think you  _ are  _ a better driver this time around.” She said out loud as a greeting.

The Doctor turned to look at her just as she spoke, turning the monitor away from her. Again. She frowned. It had become a recurrent action of his; he was hiding something from her and it was starting to bother her. 

The Doctor ignored her reaction completely, giving her a once over and then putting his sunglasses on.

“I resent that comment.” He answered simply, and turned back to the monitor, erasing the previous data that was showing.

_ What is running through that enormous head of his _ , she wondered. They hadn’t talked about the why or the how was she there in any detail, and his actions implied that he had actually been trying to solve the mystery. She shook her head, they were in this together whether he wanted it or not. She decided to ask later, when he wasn’t so blatantly trying to distract her. No matter how hard and fast he tried to run away from her, she wasn’t going to let him. 

He must be worried; she thought she understood.

Rose sighed and went to his side, twisting her arm around his. He turned to look at her, a conflicting expression maring his features. 

She smiled at him, they could talk about it later.

“So! Do you think you can actually manage to get us to see Elvis this time around?”

“Of course!” He said animatedly. “You said you wanted to see the Vegas Era.”

Rose was surprised he remembered (and a little bit flattered), and hid her blush by looking at the floor. She was unsuccessful, from the knowing look the Doctor gave her. 

“A’right, Doctor. Lead the way.”

\-----

The Doctor led Rose by the hand, actually kind of excited about getting her to an Elvis’ concert. Maybe they would get to dance. He wasn’t a good dancer in this body, but he really just wanted an excuse to get Rose as close as possible to him. As far as any of his other ideas went, this was the most brilliant idea he had ever had.

“Viva Las Vegas!” He screamed as he opened the TARDIS’ doors and was greeted by cold ocean water.

They tumbled to the outside, crashing into what looked like a control panel. Marines were running from one place to another, screaming over each other’s sentences, nothing really making sense, there was so much noise around them. The alarms were deafening, the lights in red colour not really helping with the situation in his opinion.

“So not Vegas!” Rose looked at him pointedly.

“No. This is so much better!” The Doctor looked around. “A sinking Soviet submarine!” He took away his sunglasses and threw them to the side, not seeing the point in them anymore.

“Not at all dangerous then!” Rose screamed over the noise.

He took out his sonic from his inner pocket to scan the state of the submarine, the surrounding area, the speed in which they were falling. They were sinking, and fast. But they’ve still got sideways momentum. Good, he could work with that. If they wanted to survive he would have to step up quickly. He started to bark orders on what to do to the Captain (or the man who at least looked like it). Rose was still gathering her footing, leaning against the control panel, looking wildly around her.

The personnel were obviously against having a complete stranger coming out of nowhere, yelling out orders on their bridge, even the Captain seemed reluctant, but conceded that the Doctor knew what he was doing. At the end, he was able to stop the momentum, and now here they lay, at 2000 feet under the sea. Everybody held their breath. The alarm had stopped, but the emergency lighting was still on, blinking away, making the whole situation feel more bleak than what it already was. 

Silence reigned on the bridge. 

He sighed.

The marines around them started to move, each of them assessing their situation and returning to their posts. The Doctor went to Rose’s side and helped her to stand straight, where she gave an incredulous laugh.

“Trouble’s just the bits in between, right?” She said with a smile of pure relief.

She was wet from head to toe, shivering because of the cold water, her hair a disaster and her makeup ( _ waterproof! _ As she had excitedly claimed when she bought it during their shopping trip) a little bit smudged, but her smile was genuine and not at all worried.

He smiled back, of course that was her reaction to the danger he had apparently brought her to. Before he could answer he heard someone order to search them. One of the marines grabbed them and tied them to a pole in the middle of the room. He didn’t resist, there was no point, Rose winced at the rough treatment but she didn’t say anything as well. That is, until they started to pat her inappropriately.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re touching?” She said furiously.

The Doctor frowned at that, they shouldn’t be touching Rose like that. She kicked the marine that was patting her legs right in the face, and the poor marine cried out and stepped away from her holding his nose. He smiled at that. Good, he hoped that had hurt.

The marines were also going through his own pockets, or at least the surface level. They took out a Yo-Yo, a banana, a pack of Jammy Dodgers, a pack of Jelly Babies. Rose looked at him incredulously.

“What? I get peckish.”

“So, where are we?” Rose asked in a whisper.

“The eighties! The Soviet Union, before Russia, the world in the brink of nuclear oblivion.”

“Trouble?” She said as she tried to hide her smile.

“Definitely. Lots of itchy fingers on the button.” He smiled back.

The marines finally gave up on their search of his trousers, but not without checking the inner pockets of his coat and taking his sonic screwdriver with them. Oh, that could be bad.

“I would like a receipt, please.” He said as his sonic was taken away.

Something happened, an explosion, maybe, or the underwater ridge where they had landed started to shake, could be just a normal earthquake. Whatever it was, it shook the submarine right to its core, making him fall over and taking Rose with him. The TARDIS started to dematerialize from the submarine, the groaning making it clear she was leaving without them in. Oh, that wasn’t good. That was absolutely not good. He saw Rose’s panicked face looking at the disappearing spaceship. Not good at all.

He tried to do something, but he was unable to reach the TARDIS on time. She was gone. The submarine kept shaking and he lost his hold on Rose’s hand. The water engulfed them, drifting them apart. He tried his best to protect her, but whatever had happened to cause the quake was enough for him to lose her in the water.

\-----

Rose woke up to screaming and a headache. Not the my-life’s-in-danger type of screaming, more like who-do-you-think-you-are type of screaming, the fighting type of screaming.

It was the Doctor. And he sounded mad. 

Something was wrong, something was missing. The singing of the TARDIS, she couldn’t hear it. Her presence was as strong as it had been ever since she entered the ship again, but her singing sounded faint and distant.

She fought to open her eyes again and tried to stand up, after a few tries she finally managed it without feeling like the world was spinning all around her. It was cold, and she was still wet from their earlier tumble, but she was now wearing the Doctor’s jacket, all buttoned up. She was in a dark hallway, she noticed, there was no more water flowing inside the submarine and the emergency lighting wasn’t on, but it left the few lights that worked cast shadows throughout the place that made their circumstances look more dismal. There was leakage everywhere, and the echo of the drops falling to the floor made Rose shiver. The air felt cold and oppressive, like everyone was trying to save precious air by holding their breath. There were a few marines standing around, looking ready to fight, and an old man with a cassette player beside her looking like the most sensitive person of the lot. 

The Captain had the Doctor against a wall and they both kept arguing. But as soon as the Doctor saw her standing up he pushed the Captain aside and went to her side.

“You okay?” He asked.

He didn’t touch her and he fidgeted, looking at the people surrounding them. She frowned but nodded.

“Yeah, ‘m a’right.”

The Doctor sighed and turned to the Captain once more with a no nonsense stare.

“All right, Captain, all right. You know what? Just this once, no dissembling, no psychic paper, no pretending to be an Earth Ambassador. Doctor, me and Rose, time travellers.”

That wouldn’t work normally, but the crew had seen them arrive out of thin air in the submarine and then saw their ship disappear. It was the eighties, right? They were already making movies about the future and time travel. It could work. Maybe.

“Listen. Captain, breath’s precious down here. Let’s not waste it, eh?” The Doctor tried to reason once again.

He moved to face the entire group, probably ready to explain their situation and why the smart thing to do was to listen to him. The Captain was ready to argue, she could see that in the way his jaw ticked and squared his shoulders to make himself bigger than he already was. Until they all saw a massive creature clad in armour move towards them from the mist and the shadows. 

Nobody moved, they just stared. 

Rose recognized that armor.

“Doctor.” She said quietly and pointed behind him towards the creature.

He turned around.

“Ah. It never rains but it pours.” The Doctor said, she didn’t know if he was trying to be funny for her sake or for the crew’s sake or maybe it was just one of his new quirks.

“We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I’d found a mammoth.” The old man beside her said.

“Not a mammoth.” The Doctor answered simply. “An Ice Warrior.”

He explained as quickly as he could about the creature they were facing but none of the crew moved or reacted in any way. Rose stood as still as the rest, her breath coming in sharp, shallow takes; she had only seen once before in her life and it had ended in casualties. The Ice Warriors didn’t give up and didn’t surrender, they were a proud race. In such a small, close space, with the oxygen running out, she could only imagine the horrors they would have to face.

The Doctor did his best to keep the situation light, still making jokes as he tried to reason with the alien. 

That is, until one stupid man came and attacked the martian, leaving them unconscious on the floor and the humans now vulnerable to retaliation.

\-----

The Ice Warrior was taken away, and Rose and the Doctor were taken to the Captain’s cabin. Once again, the Captain and the Doctor both butted heads as to what to do now, which course of action to take, the Captain trying to take care of his crew even in this dreadful situation. The Doctor wasn’t screaming anymore, but the underlying anger was still there. He was cold and calculating, completely different from his past incarnation. When that Doctor got angry, it ran hot and uncontrollable like wildfire and burned everything in its rightful path. This Doctor was different, he already knew that most of them wouldn’t survive and wasn’t about to give false hope, his cold and precise manner giving her chills. 

Rose hugged herself, it truly was freezing in this place. Soon the remaining radiator would stop working, the air would run out, and they would be left in this place waiting for their deaths. That is, if the Ice Warrior didn’t kill them first. She didn’t want to think like this, it wasn’t like her, but the TARDIS wasn’t there and it affected her.

She tuned in back to the conversation, and started to pay more attention.

“Skaldak won’t talk to you.” The Doctor tried to reason. “You’re an enemy soldier.”

“And how would he know that?” The Captain argued back.

“A soldier knows another soldier. They’ll smell it on you. Smell it on you a mile off.” The Doctor said seriously.

“And they wouldn’t smell it on you, Doctor?”

They both seemed to have forgotten there were other people in the submarine. Rose rolled her eyes and finally decided she could not hear more of this conversation.

“I’ll go.”

Both men stopped arguing, and while the Captain looked only apprehensive ( _ a woman, in such danger?  _ his face clearly said, which annoyed the hell out of her, she wanted to punch him right in his bearded face), the Doctor looked down right terrified at the idea.

“No.” He said in a firm, unswayable voice.

“I can go there. I can help.” She argued.

She knew this would happen. The Doctor clearly thought he knew what was best.

“No, you can’t. It’s too dangerous.” 

And what a stupid thing to say. “It’s always dangerous!”

“I will not take that risk.”

What was wrong with him? They were in this together, he couldn’t treat her like that. 

“You cannot keep me in a cage, Doctor! I’m not made of glass!” Rose said furiously.

“But you are!” The Doctor screamed desperately at her. 

Rose looked at him stunned. She had seen this kind of behaviour in her husband, a nearly pathological response to seeing her in danger. Desperation, anger, frustration, fear. So much fear. He had told her that after losing her he hadn’t fared well, he had been reckless with his life and others’, he had treated people poorly, and had realized that maybe he had been too dependent on her without realizing it.

The Doctor came close to her and cradled her face oh so delicately, resting his forehead against hers and took deep slow breaths until he calmed down.

“I can’t lose you. Not again.” He whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

Rose grabbed his wrist and rubbed circles against his pulse point, the double beat racing like crazy.

“You can’t keep me safe forever, Doctor.” She reasoned.

“I can try.” He said stubbornly.

She sighed.

“I’m going.”

“I know.” He said, clearly knowing he wasn’t going to win this battle.

\-----

The Doctor saw the image of Rose entering the room on the screen, the quality wasn’t good but he thought he would be able to recognize her anywhere in time and space; by her silhouette, and the colour of her hair, and the sound of her laugh, and the smell of her perfume.

He could feel the passing of time unbelievable slow, the imaginary ticking of a bomb about to explode. He thought he could hear his blood pumping faster, the double beat of his hearts nearly overwhelming.  _ She is going to be fine _ , he repeated inside his head over and over to fight the nearly uncontrollable need to go and be by her side.

He didn’t like feeling like this, this ugly feeling of ownership and fear. 

Was this his true self? The nature of a monster?

\------

Rose entered the dark room, clad with a radio headset and a torch. She could see her breath and her hands were so cold she could barely feel her fingers anymore. Still, putting a brave face and tightening her grip on the lantern, she approached the alien that was now tied in the Torpedo Room.

“Grand Marshal Skaldak.” She said and did the salute the Doctor taught her. “Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. By the moons, I honour thee.”

She got closer to the figure, as close as she dared to. There was static in the headset she was wearing as the communication device finally connected. Nobody said anything, so she continued.

“I’m sorry. About what happened.” She said.

The martian gave no answer, no movement to show he was listening to her.

“I met one of you, once. A long time ago.” She said, trying to get some common ground. In that moment the emergency light went out in the room, leaving her in the darkness. “Brilliant.”

‘It’s okay, Rose’ The Doctor’s voice came through the headpiece. ‘I’m here, I’m not leaving.’

Rose nodded and looked at Skaldak, the Doctor didn’t say anything else. She didn’t know if she was shaking because of the cold or if it was something else, she steeled herself, whatever happened now she had to face it.

“Let us help you. You are not our enemy.” She said.

This time Skaldak answered.

“And yet, I am in chains.” They said.

She breathed in and out, and got closer.

“These people are afraid.” She tried to reason. “They don’t know what to do. They have never encountered someone like you before.”

“Is that what you think, Doctor?” They asked

The Doctor’s voice came through the headpiece once more, apparently Skaldak was able to hear him just fine.

‘You are restrained until we can trust each other, Skaldak. You would do exactly the same in my position, and don’t even think’

Skaldak and the Doctor started talking to each other, completely ignoring Rose, but she could feel something was wrong. The conversation felt like some kind of tactic. The armor still hadn’t moved and it was becoming even more obvious as time passed.

She approached as slowly as she could, until she was standing in front of the armour. 

Wrong.

A faint blinking light could be seen through the helmet and she went to touch it.

‘Rose, what are you doing?’ The Doctor said.

The helmet hinged backwards, the armour opened, lights flickered but there was no living form inside. Rose walked backwards until her back hit the nearest surface.

“He’s gone, Doctor.” She said as steadily as she could.

The room seemed even darker than before, the little echoes of noises making her jump. Something slithered past her, she tried to look around but the light of her torch wasn’t enough to illuminate the place.

‘Rose! Get out of there!’ The Doctor ordered over the headpiece.

She tried, she did, she ran to the exit, but Skaldak started talking, their voice echoing throughout the room. She got as close to the door as she could, but the alien approached her fast.

“Are you afraid?” Skaldak asked from some place near her.

They were close, but Rose still couldn’t see anything in the darkness.

“Yes.” She answered.

She grabbed the torch as a bat, it’ll probably do nothing, but she sure as hell would go down fighting. She finally got to the door, cursing every single god she knew of when she realized the door needed to be opened from the outside. She turned back and steeled herself, ready to face the imminent.

The door opened, and the alien slipped past, completely ignoring her.

_ Safe _ , she was safe.

Someone pulled her out of the room and wrapped her in their arms tightly. It was the Doctor, the smell of tea and time enveloping her. She let out an enormous breath of relief and an incredulous laugh, feeling all the tension leave her body.

“Jeopardy friendly.” The Doctor said into her hair.

There was a storm running through Rose’s head, but crazily enough the only thought that came clear on top of everything else was that maybe the Doctor was as cold as her. She still had his coat, and he was only in his dress shirt and waistcoat. She knew if she asked he would probably say something about his superior Time Lord biology, or how he just didn’t get cold as easily as  _ you humans _ , as he put it. It was stupid but the thought brought her some kind of comfort after the whole ordeal.

Her arms were trapped against his chest, and as she tried to move and return the hug as fiercely as him she noticed the fob chain he wore with his outfit. She hadn’t paid too much attention to it before, but now that she was searching for any and every type of distraction to get her head out of the nightmare that just happened, she could clearly see the medallion was a white rose. She was conflicted, this medallion meant something for him or he wouldn’t be wearing it all the time. She tightened her grip on the emblem and closed her eyes, they needed to talk, not right now, but soon.

\-----

The Doctor and Rose were back on the bridge, the Captain going through the remaining crew. He hadn’t let go of Rose’s hand at all, and she didn’t seem eager to let go which he was grateful for. 

He was putting her in danger again. And he would lose her, again. 

He looked at Rose, his impossible Rose, standing right beside him. Her cheeks and nose were rosy with cold, she was shaking and he could see her hands turning a slight blue colour. He wished he could keep her from harm, safe and warm in the TARDIS, with him forever. It was a dark, possessive thought that he didn’t like, but how could he help himself from thinking it now that she was in danger of being taken away from him. There was a human fairy tale from a long time ago, the Beast in the story kept a magical rose under a glass bell jar in his chambers _ , _ could he do that? Keep Rose forever inside a glass cage and look as she wilted and died?

He tightened his grip on her hand and she turned to look at him quizzically. He shrugged and avoided her stare. In her eyes he could clearly see she wanted to question him, about what, he could only guess. She always saw too much.

“Where’s the TARDIS?” She asked instead.

He let out a sigh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get her back.” He answered instead of being honest.

She looked at him for a long while and then turned her head towards the discussion that was happening in front of them.

“I can’t hear her.” She said.

What.

“What do you mean?” The Doctor turned sharply at her, a million theories running through his head.

“I could always hear her,” she said while playing with her earring with the hand that wasn’t holding his, “right after the Game Station.”

Right after she looked into the heart of the TARDIS, right after Bad Wolf.

_ We became one to protect you, my Doctor. _

“I didn’t notice at the beginning, really. It sort of became louder as time passed, I guess.” She made a pause, as if thinking about her next words. “I could always feel her, like she was part of me.”

_ She’s part of me _ .

“And then I got trapped in the other universe and I couldn’t feel her anymore.” She scrunched her nose and then sighed. “Right now I can  _ feel _ her, but I can’t  _ hear _ her. It’s weird.”

He was going to say something, something clever, probably, but was again distracted by their situation and the danger they were facing.

They split up, a few marines staying in the control room while the rest went to explore the submarine with the hopes of reasoning with Skaldak. The old scientist gave him his sonic back and a little hope started to spark back in his chest. He would get them out of there.

\-----

Rose, the Doctor and the old man walked through the dark hallways, each of them holding a torch in their hands. The old man was holding a cattle prod in his hands, which she thought odd but didn’t question, she had seen weirder stuff during her travels with the Doctor.

“I didn’t catch your name.” She said, to spark a little bit of conversation and to distract herself from the fact that an alien was hunting them down one by one. Lovely.

“Grisenko.” The old man said with a smile.

The Doctor went ahead of them, scanning everything in his path with the sonic. She felt uneasy when he wasn’t in her line of sight, and fought to keep herself from running after him.

“Courage, my dear.” Grisenko said, clearly thinking her unease was because of the alien. “I always sing a song.”

She laughed a little at that.

“Do you know Hungry Like The Wolf?”

This time she definitely laughed. The dark hallway didn’t seem so gloomy anymore so she kept the conversation going.

“I do. I used to go karaoke with my mate Shareen.” She remembered with a smile.

“Karaoke?”

She looked at him and smiled.

“A sneak peak into the future Professor.” She winked.

“Indeed.” He laughed heartily. “Karaoke? You speak excellent Russian, my dear, but sometimes I don’t understand a word you're talking about.”

The walls groaned, she jumped in surprise, she thought she heard something scratch the ceiling.

“Pressure. Just pressure. We’re seven hundred metres down, remember?” Grisenko said. 

“Right.” She tried.

“Are you afraid of the  _ Big Bad Wolf _ ?” Grisenko said jokingly.

Bad Wolf.

“What?” She turned to look at him, her whole body preparing for fight or flight response. “What did you say?”

He didn’t answer. They heard a growl and a scream and just like that the light conversation ended. 

Seeing the body carefully dissected and the Doctor not reacting at all didn’t help her state of mind. She wondered again if he felt cold.

The Doctor left to investigate and told her not to wander off. Which is why she started to wander off, the Professor following closely behind her.

“He said not to wander off.” Grisenko said but clearly was in favour of a little bit of exploring.

“Well, he should know by now that I’m going to wander off.”

The submarine creaked all around them. The pressure, she tried to remind herself as she walked through the hallway. The shadows casted by the deem light seemed longer and more threatening, the echoes of the water drops deafening.

“Is it true you’re from the future? You and your Doctor?”

_ Her _ Doctor. “Yeah, we’re travellers.”

“Tell me something about the future.” Grisenko said.

She debated a little before answering.

“In the future you’ll be able to have thousands of songs in one small device.”

Grisenko laughed and so did she.

\-----

Skaldak tried to arm all the nuclear warheads inside the submarine. 

A nuclear holocaust.

The Doctor tried his best to stop him, but an Ice Warrior with nothing to lose was a deadly creature. The submarine shook, he thought they were probably going to sink some more, and they would probably die before Skaldak tried to end the world, which would be a good thing for the world but not for everyone inside the ship. 

But they were rising, and rising. The martians! They were alive and they had answered the Warrior’s call.

He remembered the last time they had faced an Ice Warrior. He had thought Rose had died and was ready to bend the rules of time to his will to bring her back. Would he try and risk it again? He felt a second wave of fear when the submarine was still prepared to launch the torpedoes even after Skaldak’s departure.

“I’ll destroy us if I have to. I will destroy us if I have to.” He murmured to himself.

Rose came to stand by his side, her steady presence somehow comforting. He remembered a similar situation, such a long time ago, in 10 Downing Street, with the fate of history at his hands and the only risk was losing her.

_ I could save the world, but lose you. _

“Do it.” She said beside him, her voice echoing inside his head.

He looked at her, trying to memorize every minor detail of her face. If he could, he would keep her forever under a glass bell jar, preserved for eternity.

And then the bombs were disarmed and they were set free. The Doctor sagged a little and immediately went to hug Rose.

The remaining crew left the control room and went to stand on top of the fin of the submarine, looking at the sky and the spaceship leaving, breathing the cold arctic air.

“So.” Rose said beside him.

“So.” He smiled at her. 

“Where’s the TARDIS?”

The Doctor turned around and mumbled an answer under his breath.

“You tinkered with her again, didn’t you?” She said accusingly.

“Yeah. Well, I wasn’t to know, was I?” He exclaimed. “I reset the HADS. The Hostile Action Displacement System. If the Tardis comes under attack, gunfire, time winds, the sea, it relocates.”

Rose looked at him at him like she couldn’t believe how stupid he was and shook her head.

“How are we going to get her back?” She demanded.

Something chirped inside his pocket. He took out his sonic, glad for the distraction.

“There it is!” He said happily.

Rose looked relieved.

“Where is she?” She asked, smiling.

“The south pole.” He said, not as enthusiastically as before.

Rose noticed this and frowned. “And we are…?”

“The north.” 

She hit him.

\-----

Rose stood on the ice waiting for the TARDIS to materialize.

The Doctor had told her that he could summon the ship with her key but first he wanted to do some repairs on the submarine so they would be able to get to their next base with no problems. She wasn’t going to say no to that and he knew that, so she (a little bit begrudgingly) waited in the control room talking to Grisenko.

She liked the old man, and enjoyed the couple of hours she got to know him better with no danger around them. But she was wet and cold and the TARDIS wasn’t there, so it was difficult to be her usual sunny self. The Doctor must have noticed it because he finished the repairs in record time.

She said their goodbyes as he pulled her to the outside, and here they were, looking as the blue box they both called home appeared in front of them. She smiled as the groaning sound became more prominent, and as soon as the ship was solid she ran to the inside.

She didn’t need to use her key, the doors opened on their own and she was greeted by singing in her head and a warm console room. She sighed happily.

“I missed you, too.” She said out loud.

The doors closed behind her as the Doctor entered, too. She took off the coat while he went to the monitor and took them to the Vortex to float and rest.

“No separating you two. Got it.” The Doctor said, looking at the rotor. The TARDIS had probably ‘said’ something to him. “Learned my lesson.”

“You betcha.” She said pointing a finger at him.

He looked at her pensively, something about his eyes, a storm was seething. He came close to her, making her falter, and grabbed the hand that was pointing at him. He held on to her tightly, and lowered her hand to look directly into her eyes.

“Were you always able to hear the TARDIS?” He asked.

She hadn’t expected that.

“Not really,” she said slowly. “I thought it was something that happened with time. You know? Like, the more you lived here, the clearer it got.”

He knitted his eyebrows, looking intently at her.

_ This is it _ , she thought, they could finally talk and stop avoiding the storm that was coming for them. She wanted to ask about what he was hiding, she wanted to tell him about the phrase that had been running circles inside her ever since she heard the old scientist in the Soviet submarine.  _ Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf? _ She was afraid.

They were running, and they were getting closer to something they weren’t ready to face.

“Maybe.”

“Doctor–” She began.

“Maybe it’s because she always liked you better.” He said lightly, a smile back on his face.

A mask, she thought. He hides behind smiles and words, and runs away because he’s afraid.

He went to the desktop, pushed a few buttons and a [song started to play in the room](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBgQezOF8kY). An old song, like the ones played by choruses of guys during the rock and roll era, could be the 50’s or 60’s, she wasn’t sure. The lights dimmed to a beautiful blue pastel colour, the writings on top of the rotor spinning slowly.

_ Life could be a dream _

He came to her side once more making over the top movements and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer to him. His body was cool, cooler than hers, enough for her to notice the difference.

_ If I could take you up in paradise up above _

“I was supposed to take you dancing today. Guess some things happened.” He said gently.

He wrapped one arm at her waist, his other hand busy holding hers.  _ A distraction _ , she thought. He doesn’t want to talk, not now, maybe not ever.

_ If you would tell me I’m the only one that you love _

_ Life could be a dream sweetheart _

“Doctor…” She tried once more.

“I know this isn’t Elvis, but you must admit it’s still pretty good. One day I’ll manage to get you to one of his concerts.” He continued.

_ Please, don’t ask. Not now. Please. _ His eyes seemed to scream at her. Could she really read him that well, or was it something else?

_ Life could be a dream _

_ If only all my precious plans would come true _

_ If you would let me spend my whole life lovin’ you _

_ Life could be a dream sweetheart _

She thought she could feel his conflicting emotions running through her body. His fears and anxieties, his concern and, maybe, his love for her. Let me solve it, he seemed to scream.

_ Every time I look at you _

Rose looked into the depth of his eyes. 

_ Something is on my mind _

Soon.

“One day.” She said.

“Promise.” He gave her a gentle smile so honest she wanted to cry. 

_ If you do what I want you to _

_ Baby, we’d be so fine _

She sighed and tried for a smile. The Doctor took that as a win and picked her up and spinned her through the room. This time her laugh was genuine and it echoed through the ship, she wrapped her free arm around his neck and held tight onto him. The TARDIS sang happily in her head, for once on board with whatever the Doctor was thinking. They swayed in time with the music, the Doctor surprised her with his moves and she forgot about how cold and wet she still was.

_ Life could be a dream _

_ If I could take you up in paradise up above _

_ If you would tell me I’m the only one that you love _

_ Life could be a dream sweetheart _

The light music and the blinking lights created a dreamy atmosphere. Their movements warmed her little by little. The music grew louder, she lost her shoes at some point and he seemed to forget their impending doom. She forgot about her worries, just for one small moment. Maybe they would be able to outrun their torment.

_ (Hello hello again, and hopin’ we’ll meet again) _

They were an airtight pot, a pressure cooker, filling up with heat, and they were bound to explode.

_ Life could be a dream _

_ Life could be a dream, sweetheart _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rose meeting an Ice Warrior is from the Tenth Doctor Adventures Vol. 2 audio drama Cold Vengeance. I made a [review](https://thegeekproblem.tumblr.com/post/629725931111694336/the-tenth-doctor-adventures-vol-2-review) of the entire volume in my tumblr if you want to check it out!
> 
> I wasn't sure on adding the song that way but it was for pacing purposes so I didn't have an option. Also, is the song a foreshadow for something??? Guess we'll see about that. Oldies are my jam!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the love, and remember your comments are my life force!
> 
> **Updates Every Monday!**
> 
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	9. Hide

The Doctor was finally getting frustrated with his ship.

Whatever was going on, the TARDIS knew, or at least had some inclination as to what was happening. His ship was so adamant that Rose was completely fine, that nothing was wrong with her, but she still wouldn’t show him her scans. Every time he tried, the monitor would go blank for a few seconds and then return to its normal navigational graphs. It frustrated him to no end.

He realized now how much the TARDIS had been aware of Rose right after looking into her Heart, they had merged somehow, and the connection ran both ways apparently. Had that been the reason for her new telepathic abilities? (which he was sure he would mention to her someday… soon) Were there going to be more changes to her physiology?

They needed to talk, Rose needed to know all of this. But.

But.

He was afraid, if he wasn’t going to be honest to Rose he could at least be honest to himself, he was afraid of what was coming. He knew she had let him off the hook last time after the whole incident with the Ice Warrior, that he was only buying time before everything exploded into tiny pieces, but he wasn’t sure what they needed to talk about. He thought he could probably start to get a sense of what was going on, of why Rose was back here with him, before she came with questions he couldn’t answer. What could he tell her if he had no idea himself.

After their adventure in the Soviet submarine, he had stirred the TARDIS away from as much trouble as he could, even going as far as to ask for help to the ship herself (which she graciously granted). Rose clearly noticed but didn’t say anything, obviously searching for the perfect moment where she could corner him and make him talk.

He had managed to run away for three days now. 

Three days of planets full of distractions, like festivals and parties and coronations and what not. Three days of Rose’s exasperated glare and angry murmurs she knew he was able to hear, of half laughs and half smiles and half attempts at flirting. Three days without Rose’s tongue touched grin. He was going spare. How was he going to manage more of this, when in such a small amount of time he was already starving for her full affection.

He heard Rose’s distinct footsteps coming closer to the control room. He turned the screen back to its usual display and waited for her, and even now, when thinking about her filled him with apprehension and made him jittery, her simple presence beside him would calm his racing thoughts and nervous energy. Maybe if he had some answers as to what was coming, he would be able to talk to her and explain why he was avoiding her. He scratched behind his ear and sighed.

He had been thinking for the past couple of days where he could start, and he thought he had an idea as to where to get some answers (maybe). He remembered some forgotten files from his days at U.N.I.T. about real psychics and empaths. He had gone through them during his time there and was deeply disappointed that all of them had been a hoax. Well, almost all of them. He easily hacked into U.N.I.T.’s database and found the file he was looking for. He entered the coordinates into the navigation system right before Rose came into the room already dressed for the day and with a mug of tea in her hands.

“How do you feel about Ghosts?” He said instead of a greeting.

“I don’t know.” She frowned, which was more adorable than it had a right to be. “We always get into trouble when we see one.” She raised an eyebrow and sipped her cup.

Right.

Not counting their encounter with Dickens (which caused a rift in time and space), the last time they had seen ghosts had been at Canary Wharf. He grimaced, okay, so ghosts weren’t as fun as he remembered.

“Well, not this time. Let’s go have some fun.” He said as he started the materialization sequence.

“You want to go ghostbusting?” Rose asked incredulously.

“Yes!” He said, better try to sell her this whole excited-about-ghosts bit.

The TARDIS groaned at him, clearly not liking his plan. He frowned at the rotor and turned to look at Rose with what he thought was a really convincing smile.

“What did you do to her?” Rose said, as she left her cup on the control panel.

“Nothing.”

“Then why is she angry?” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked pointedly at him.

_ All girls together, again _ , he thought.

“Maybe she just doesn’t like when people leave cups on her panel.” He said defensively.

Rose made a little sound, not really believing him, and then made a gesture with her eyes to the place where the mug was. It was now gone, probably taken to the galley where it belonged. He made a gesture that said ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ and pulled the materialization lever, taking them to (hopefully) get some answers.

\-----

There was a storm raging, it was night and the wind howled furiously outside of the time ship. The trees swayed violently from side to side, threatening to fall at any given moment. Rose stood inside by the doors, watching the rain fall while she waited for the Doctor. She could see a mansion at the end of a stone lane with barely any light on, it looked like it had been taken out of a horror movie and she shuddered at the thought.

The TARDIS was now calm, whatever had made her mad a while ago probably forgiven by now. Rose hadn’t thought it was anything bad  _ per se _ , but if the ship didn’t like something, she probably wasn’t going to either. She guessed it probably had to do with this whole ghostbusting business that she still wasn’t sure what it was really about.

The Doctor came beside her, holding a blue umbrella big enough for the both of them to squeeze under.

“Ready, Miss Tyler?” The Doctor said excitedly beside her.

She couldn’t help but give him a small smile.

“Why, of course.”

They stepped under the umbrella, the Doctor’s arm wrapped around her shoulders to keep her from swaying away and getting wet.

The walk to the mansion was slippery but they arrived quickly at the door without any incidents, the Doctor knocked and they waited patiently. She heard footsteps and murmurs coming from the inside, and she was surprised there were actual people in this creepy place.

A man with glasses came to open the door, a young woman standing beside him. Their out of date clothing told her they weren’t in modern day London, but instead somewhere in the past, a few decades ago maybe, but she couldn’t be sure.

“Yes? Who are you?” The man asked instead of a greeting, clearly not expecting visitors.

“Ghostbusters!” The Doctor answered beside her.

She hid her laugh behind her hand just as the Doctor pushed his way inside the mansion. He left the umbrella inside by the door, dripping on the floor and making a mess of the entrance. She shot an apologetic smile and a small ‘sorry’ to the man and made her way to follow the Doctor. 

When she came close to him she whispered. “ _ Rude _ .”

“That’s me,” The Doctor said playfully, “rude and not ginger.” And with a wink he turned back to the people behind them. “I’m the Doctor, this is Rose.”

“Doctor what?” The man asked, annoyed.

“If you like.” He answered dismissively.

To think she thought the past Doctor had been the rudest one. At least he had the decency to sometimes notice he was being rude.  _ That’s why I have you, Rose Tyler,  _ he had joked once. She sighed. The Doctor, of course, didn’t notice and continued with his introductions.

“You are Major Alec Palmer. Member of the Baker Street Irregulars, the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. Specialised in espionage, sabotage and reconnaissance behind enemy lines. You’re a talented watercolourist, professor of psychology and ghost hunter. Total pleasure. Massive.”

Rose frowned. So the Doctor knew who these people were and what they were doing here, but why were  _ they _ here? The Doctor wanted something from these people, his suspicious behaviour gave it easily away, but what?

The Doctor turned his attention to the young woman, and Rose thought she saw a glint of curiosity in his eyes. 

“And you’re Emma Grayling, the Professor’s companion.” The Doctor said, with a little more emphasis in the word companion.

_ Companion _ . That’s what the Doctor called them, the people travelling with him. Emma was a companion to the Professor, just like she was to the Doctor. But, the way he had said it. Was it in the same way he had implied?

“Assistant.” The young woman, Emma, corrected him in a miffed tone.

Okay. Maybe it was in the same way. And maybe neither of them liked it.

“It’s 1974. You’re the assistant and non-objective equipment. Meaning psychic.” The Doctor said, the last part clearly intended for Rose.

Now that was interesting.

“Psychic? An actual, honest to god, psychic?” She asked, reluctantly a little bit excited about the whole thing now.

“Yes!” He said excitedly at her.

“Excuse me, but who are you?” Emma asked, clearly getting in the defensive.

Oh. She didn’t like the Doctor.

“Relax, Emma. He’s Military Intelligence.” Professor Palmer said. “Who sent you?”

The Doctor pulled the psychic paper, he didn’t use it as much as he used too, Rose had noticed, but it really came in handy in these situations.

“U.N.I.T., we’re checking everything’s in order.” He gave the paper to Professor Palmer and patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry, guv’nor, I’ll be out of your hair in five minutes.”

The Doctor immediately went to play with the equipment, leaving Rose to make their apologies. She approached him and pinched his arm, hard.

“Ow!” The Doctor said as he rubbed his arm.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re being extremely rude.” She whispered at him.

He pouted at her, but Rose didn’t waver, no matter how cute his pouting face was.

He sighed and muttered a ‘sorry’ to her, before turning once more to the other couple and asked with a polite smile.

“So, where’s the ghost?”

\-----

They walked the dark corridors in a group, the Doctor holding a candelabra and Rose a torch– she had searched for one in the Doctor’s pockets, of course she found one, the Doctor just liked the drama of the candelabra. The floors creaked and the doors groaned whenever they opened them, which helped to the eerie aura of the place. They finally arrived at a spacious living room filled with equipment, a board with photos and newspaper articles, a few chairs and two armchairs, and a table full of knick knacks and empty mugs of coffee. Contrary to the rest of the house, which smelled of damp wood and dust, this place smelled of coffee, tea and paper. It smelled like it was lived in.

Rose stood close to Emma, as the Doctor inspected all of Palmer’s findings. She hadn’t talked that much on the way here, she didn’t look all that comfortable around strangers, and, well, the Doctor was a  _ different _ kind of person.

“So, you’re an empathic psychic.” Rose said.

“Yes.” Emma answered shyly.

“What’s the difference between a normal psychic and you?” Rose asked.

“Sometimes I sense feelings, the way a telepath can sense thoughts. Sometimes, though. Not always.” Emma said.

That sounded familiar, strangely familiar.

She thought of the time right after their adventure in the submarine, when they were dancing in the console room, on how clear all of the Doctor’s feelings had been for her in that moment. But, it was different, wasn’t it? She had only ever felt that inside the TARDIS. With her husband she could feel it through their marriage bond, but only after it was formed.

Emma rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes, Rose noticed.

“Are you a’ight?” She asked.

“Yes, just a little bit tired.”

“How ‘bout you sit down.” She led Emma to one of the armchairs.

Rose went for a glass of water and brought it to the other woman. Emma smiled gratefully at her and drank slowly, her eyes drifting to the Professor intently. The Professor was still talking to the Doctor, not paying attention to them.

Oh.  _ Oh. _

She was going to ask about that when a deafening thunder resonated through the mansion making the windows tremble and brought shivers to Rose’s spine. The lights flickered above them and she thought she felt another presence in the room. In a flash, her eyes were on Emma, if there was something in the room she would know, right? 

Emma’s eyes were intensely looking at the open door leading to the hallway. Something was there. The room was quiet, the only sound being the rain outside. The atmosphere was tense, and the room that had somehow felt homey just a minute ago felt now cold.

“Well, that wasn’t ominous at all.” Rose said, trying to lighten up the mood.

The Doctor finished talking with Palmer and came to her side, grabbing her hand.

“Come on. Let’s get ourselves a ghost.”

Rose was a little bit reluctant to leave Emma since she didn’t look so good, but there was a point to this whole ghost hunting thing for the Doctor and the sooner she found what it was, the sooner she would get answers as to why they were here.

She looked at the Doctor’s eager face and smiled, too.

“A’right.”

The Doctor pulled her to the hallway and grabbed the three pronged candelabra he had used before.

The house was big, not as big as the TARDIS, mind you, but it was dark and ghoulish and she didn’t like it at all. While the ship’s hallways always felt warm and they were always well lit, the hallways of the mansion felt abandoned, barely walked in. While Rose felt right at home in one, in the other she felt like an outsider.

“Oh, this is so creepy.” She muttered.

She thought something moved behind her, okay, everything was fine.  _ You’re just imagining things _ , she thought. She needed to distract herself with something, anything.

“Why are we here Doctor?” She asked.

“To catch a ghost.”

“No, for real.” She stopped him. “Why are we here?”

The Doctor looked at her for a second before avoiding her gaze.

“I thought you would like it.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.” He said indignantly.

He let go of her hand and started pacing, sonicking the walls and windows and doing everything to avoid looking at her.

“You are!” She said annoyed. “And you think you can hide it from me, but you can’t!”

This time the Doctor stopped his pacing and looked at her seriously.

“You can’t.” She repeated. “I  _ know _ you.”

His eyes were intense, searching something in her face. She didn’t back down, she crossed her arms and stood there matching his look.

He sighed and started to relax minutely.

“You do, huh?” He said with a small, sincere smile on his face.

“I do.” She said.

The slam of a door. She jumped a little, suddenly the only thing she wanted was to hold the Doctor’s hand.

“Come on,” he said, “we can talk after.”

He grabbed her hand again and started to pull her towards the sound. She didn’t believe him, and he probably sensed that. He turned around and looked at her straight in the eye.

“I promise.”

Rose sighed and relaxed a little.

“Okay.” She nodded

He dragged her to another dark corridor and they kept the investigation going. They kept walking until they reached their destination: The Music Room.

It was cold, colder than it was in the rest of the house, the furniture and statues, all covered with white sheets created shadows all over the place, the rain leaked through the windows, and the only light in the room came from the moon and the candelabra the Doctor was holding. The feeling of loneliness overwhelmed her, it was like a punch in the stomach, her eyes watered but no tear came out. It was similar to that day, when they got separated forever. When that white wall stood between them and she thought she could feel the Doctor through the cold concrete, how they were still connected through the dimensions, how much this was killing him.

The Doctor visibly paused and exhaled shakily, he probably had felt something similar, too. He went to investigate the room while she stood there, overwhelmed by a memory of something that had happened such a long time ago.

“The heart of the house. Do you feel anything?” The Doctor asked.

“Cold.” She said and hugged herself a little.

She didn’t like this feeling. The Doctor scanned the place with the sonic, going around the room, leaving no corner unchecked.

“I feel like someone’s watching us.” She said.

It was true, it was an eerie feeling.

“Really? I feel that funny tickly feeling on the back of my neck.” He said, clearly not noticing her distress

“That’s what being watched feels like.” Rose said, annoyed.

“Oh, then yes, a bit. Well, quite a big bit.”

She walked to where he was– the safest place was by the Doctor’s side– when she stepped through something.

“Cold.”

The Doctor was beside her in an instant.

“Oh this is interesting. Spooky, but interesting.”

The Doctor drew a chalk circle around the cold area, circling her.

“Come along, Rose.” He left the room.

She ran after him, stepping in the circle. She thought she heard something hiss in the room, she didn’t notice the steam rising from the edges of the chalk circle. She could see the Doctor’s silhouette at the end, illuminated by the faint light of the candle. She punched him in the arm.

“Don’t do that.” She said.

“Sorry.” He did sound apologetic, she gave him that.

A slamming noise. The candles were blown out.

“What was that?” She asked in a whisper.

“It’s a very loud noise.” He answered.

Again, the floor creaked behind them. Something or someone was following them.

“Something’s here.” She said

“Yes, something very angry.”

Something slithered past them. Rose didn’t react, she just screamed and held onto the Doctor. He grabbed her hand and they both ran.

“Why are we running?!” She asked.

“I don’t know!”

They arrived at the parlor, where the noises were more prominent. They found Emma and Professor Palmer already there, clearly investigating what was going on, when a huge disk appeared. The figure of the ghost came, running through Emma and craving a message on the wall.

_ HELP ME. _

\-----

The Doctor went to reveal the pictures he took all over the house, leaving Rose alone with Emma again. Rose noticed the lingering look Emma gave the retreating back of Professor Palmer as he followed the Doctor to the red room.

She was more worried about Emma than the pictures of the ghost so she led her to an armchair and went to the kitchen to make tea. The automated actions and the aroma of the leaves soothed her nerves and gave her time to think about everything that was happening. It always relaxed her, her mom used to make the best tea ever so she learned directly from her. When she was growing up, whenever they were at odds with each other (which happened quite often), one of them would offer tea as a peace offering. Whenever someone was having a bad time in the Estate, they would make tea and invite people around. Whenever she felt bad about herself, about her life, about school or her job, they would make tea. Tea meant family, it meant a safe place, so it stayed with her.

She quickly prepared two mugs and brought them to the sitting area.

“Thank you.” Emma sipped the mug and Rose waited. “Oh, this is good.”

Rose relaxed and sipped her own mug.

“Thanks. My mum always said that a good cuppa could solve any problem.”

“Maybe she was right.”

They sipped the tea quietly for a couple of minutes before Rose broke the silence, it was like the ghost of Jackie Tyler had possessed her because she asked.

“Are you and Professor Palmer…?” Rose trailed off, making it obvious as to what she was referring to.

Oh, her Mum would be so proud of her. She felt like such a gossip.

“No.” Emma said and shook her head.

A look of sadness crossed her face, Rose wondered.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Emma said in a small voice, “People like me, sometimes we get our signals mixed up. We think people are feeling the way we want them to feel, you know, when they are special to us, when really there’s nothing there.”

Rose thought she understood. She looked at the closed doors of the red room, the Doctor was somewhere there already making theories in his head as to what was going on.

“What about you and the Doctor?” Emma asked.

Could Emma feel how Rose felt? How madly in love with the man she was? Probably. Rose bit her thumb and shook her head.

“No.”

Emma sighed relieved and nodded.

“Good.”

“Sorry?”

“Don’t trust him. He keeps secrets and he lies, he’s dangerous.” Emma’s eyes were serious, no ounce of the kind woman was there. She really,  _ really _ didn’t like the Doctor.

Rose understood where Emma was coming from, half of the time Rose didn’t know if her job was protecting the Doctor from people or protecting the people from the Doctor. Rose looked at Emma hard.

“I know he’s hiding something from me, but I’ll always trust the Doctor with my life.”

Emma looked startled, like she couldn’t comprehend how Rose could trust a man like him. Well, sometimes Rose wondered the same thing.

In that moment the Doctor entered the living room and came to Rose’s side.

“Rose, come on!” He grabbed her hand and guided her outside the house.

The Doctor grabbed their umbrella at the entrance and they squeezed once again under it as they ran through the storm and back to the TARDIS.

“Where are we going?” Rose asked.

“Nowhere. We’re staying right here. Right here, on this exact spot, if I can work out how to do it.” He said as he approached the controls.

“Ask the TARDIS,” she teased, “maybe she’ll help you.”

“Cheeky.”

Rose left the umbrella to dry and went to the other side of the controls.

“So  _ when _ are we going?” She said, as she peered through the rotor.

The Doctor smiled at her.

“Oh, that is good. That is top-notch.” He said as he came close to her and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

She smiled at the gesture. Damn it! She was supposed to be mad at him.

“We’re going always.”

“Always.” Repeated Rose

“Always.” Repeated the Doctor.

He went downstairs, to the area he usually used for repairs and quick storage and came back with an orange space suit. The face of her past Doctor came to mind, smiling after thinking they were both dead on an impossible planet so long ago.

“Is that the same as the one from Krop Tor?” She asked.

“Well, I wasn’t going to throw it out, was I?”

Well, she guessed he did have a point.

The Doctor went to change and Rose stood watching the beautiful circular writings on the monitor. The TARDIS hummed and her song took a soothing quality, even the ship had noticed how irked with the Doctor she had been in the past few days and still was in the moment. It was obvious the Doctor noticed, too, but whatever was going through that head of his, he wasn’t going to share anything until he found out what he came here for.

The Doctor came back, already dressed, the helmet still under one arm and an old camera in his hands, and she was hit with a wave of nostalgia. She came close to him and looked at him piloting the TARDIS to their first destination. When he stopped, he turned to look at her.

“I feel like history is repeating itself.” She said as she stared into his eyes. “And it’s gonna tear us apart.” 

“Never.”

She wanted to make fun of that, to repeat to him the same he had said a long time ago just like he seemed to want,  _ Never say never, ever _ and then laugh about it. But she could feel her heart on her throat and the urge to fight back the tears.

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his chest. She thought she could feel the beating of his hearts even through the suit.

“I’ll be right back.”

“You better.” She smiled

She came as close as she dared to, and brought the same hand that was at his chest to her face to kiss his gloved hand.

The Doctor put on the helmet and prepared to leave the ship. He opened the TARDIS doors and went outside, clad in the orange space suit and armed with a camera. Rose gave him a thumbs up and he made the sign back at her.

The monitor flickered and started to display what was happening out there. She thanked the ship and looked intensely at the screen. Rose saw the Doctor take a picture and then come back inside, he repeated this over and over, jumping through time, Rose following behind when it was finally safe for her to go out. The dinosaurs, the prehistoric era, Victorian era, every couple of decades they would stop to take a picture and eventually they reached modern times, Rose following when it was safe for her to leave the TARDIS. And then they went all the way into the future, until it was again unsafe for her to go out.

The End of the World. The end of planet Earth, her planet. That old Nikon could certainly put up with a lot of different conditions, she was surprised it was still intact.

The Doctor came back inside and went below deck to get rid of the orange suit. Rose stared at the screen, outside it looked like a world of fire and death, nothing could be alive out there, rocks and lava. And above that, there was Platform One, an observation station, with a nineteen year old girl looking at her planet burn.

“That was our first date.” She said, a small smile on her face.

How bizarre to think of the end of your planet as a fond memory.

“Yes. We should definitely go back for chips once we’re done here.” The Doctor said as he came to stand beside her.

Rose nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

The Doctor looked at her with a smile, and he grabbed her hand bringing it to his face, giving it a small kiss just like she had done before.

\-----

They returned to the Caliburn House and the Doctor went to reveal the pictures as fast as he could. He returned quickly and arranged his findings for everyone to see on the board, Rose kept close to Emma, clearly more worried for the other woman than his board of findings. He frowned, it made him a little nervous, Rose was clever and she would figure out why they were here if she kept talking to Emma.

“Gather round, gather round. Roll up, roll up.” He called out, making a show of his entrance.

The other people in the room got close to his board, Rose leaving Emma to stand by his side. He relaxed a little at that and he started his long winded explanation.

The Doctor did his best to explain all about the Ghost, the real ghost, the woman that was in trouble. In the pictures from Palmer’s investigation, the ghost had always appeared in the same position, trapped in a single moment of fear and torment. But in his pictures, taken through all of Earth’s history, you could see the ghost moving, revealing the truth. Hila Tacorian, a pioneer in time travel, trapped in a pocket dimension where she had crash landed.

“She’s in a pocket universe. A distorted echo of our own. They happen sometimes but never last for long.”

“Like a parallel dimension?” Rose asked, perking up.

His clever girl.

“No. Similar, very similar. A pocket dimension can barely stand on its own, they’re very unstable.”

“So she’s in danger. We have to get her out.” Rose said.

“Yes, but not we.” Rose frowned but he continued with his thought. “You, Emma Grayling.” He pointed at the woman, “You’re a lantern, shining across the dimensions, guiding her home, back to the land of the living.”

He approached Emma, who looked uncomfortable in his presence, but not before looking at Rose’s reaction. Oh, she was ready to argue and kick his ass, and she probably would beat him, he could see it in her eyes, but really, solving this took priority right at the moment.

“Wait, Doctor. We cannot just use Emma, she’s a person!” Rose said, just like he had predicted.

“Are you proposing to leave Hila Tacorian to die?” He asked seriously.

He knew what she would say, he had travelled with her for far too long as to not know. He wasn’t testing her or anything like that, it was just a little bit difficult to care about other people sometimes. That’s why he had Rose now, his always kind and compassionate Rose, to remind what it was like to care so much. He needed her to fight him about this, to make him see.

“That’s not it and you know it!” She screamed at him, hadn’t something like this happened before? “There has to be another way.”

He softened a little, and tried to explain his reasoning behind his decision.

“We can’t drive the TARDIS there, she’ll be depleted from her power sources.” He said.

“I know that!”

Her eyes were looking at him fiercely, like she could see through every single façade he had built up in this incarnation. He realized that she probably was right, that she did know him no matter what. It scared him, to be so exposed to another being like that. Her presence inside his head suddenly felt too much.

He didn’t notice Emma coming closer to them, but she did hear her cough beside them, a look of fierce determination on her face.

“I’ll do it.”

\-----

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Rose asked in a whisper. “The reason why we’re here.”

They had returned to the Music Room, most of the furniture had been pushed to the walls to make space for the equipment that was brought from the TARDIS, dozens of clocks had been placed all around the room, for what purpose, Rose didn’t know, but she had a faint idea it was half useful and half show. There were cables everywhere, a silver cable glowing with power from the time ship to a headset placed in a chair in the middle of the room and a large crystal held in a cradle at head height that she could only guess its purpose. The Doctor was setting the system that would help them get to the pocket universe the safest way possible, Rose helping passing him the tools he needed once in a while. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He said, avoiding looking at her.

He passed by her, setting more cables on the floor, and doing everything except talking to her honestly. She was frustrated by his attitude and avoidance, what did he think he won with this?

“You’re hiding something from me. You are!” She half whispered, half yelled at him, hoping the other two were far enough so they wouldn’t hear her.

“I’m not.” Why did he continue to insist he wasn’t lying to her.

He was always running away, lying to her.

“You can’t lie to me. I’ve married you, I spent years with you.” She argued as calmly as she could.

“New face, new personality, new rules.” He argued back.

He sometimes acted like a thousand year old child.

“Same Doctor! You avoid looking me directly in the eyes when you lie.”

This time he stopped moving, and slowly turned to look at her. His eyes were moving over her face but never stopped in her eyes, he wriggled his fingers, opening and closing them in not so tight fists. Finally he sighed and stared at her, his eyes were a storm of emotions, worry, concern, doubt, fear.

“What are you afraid of?” She asked, this time as gently as she could.

She raised her hand and pressed it to his cheek. He sighed and grabbed it, pressing it closer to him. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by Emma and Professor Palmer walking into the room.

\-----

They finished equipping Emma, and then a light filled the room, the wind picked up inside the room even though the windows were closed, it was like something out of a science fiction movie. It was nothing like her interdimensional jumps, this was more like opening a door made of pure white light and walking through it. Emma looked to be in pain and Rose worried how long she would be able to keep the door open, her moans and groans growing louder as the seconds passed. They should’ve tried to find another way, another way to get the TARDIS there or something, but the resolute look in Emma’s eyes told her it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, she was determined to see this through.

The Doctor tied the harness tighter around his body and made a thumbs up sign towards her. She gave him a small smile, returning the sign at him, it was going to be alright (maybe if she repeated it enough times, it would come true). He turned towards the dimensional door and jumped through the bright white light, the rope going and going until it finally stopped. He had made it through.

What was on the other side of that door? A dying universe? Was it like Donna’s pocket universe? Or was it different? Rose wondered. 

She remembered that jump, that universe. It had been awful, looking at that dimension where the Doctor had refused to regenerate and looking at his dead body, cold and broken. She had been too late. How abandoned he must have felt to refuse to regenerate. Donna Noble had been his unknowing saviour, the person he needed at the right moment in time, and Rose would always be grateful for her existence. Just by being herself, she had put everything right back again.

Rose shivered, hugging herself, still looking at the bright light. Emma was calling out beside her, a guide to bring them back home, her screams were agonizing and she looked like she was in so much pain. But, what could she do to help her right now?

Rose brought her hand to her face and bit the inside of her thumb, she was nervous, what if,  _ what if _ . Her mother had tried to get her to stop biting her fingers but she never could, she said it was a bad example for Tony, and later to her kids. The Doctor had always thought it was cute, but he didn’t like seeing it because it meant she was worried about something. 

The minutes ticked by, and Emma only looked worse for wear, Professor Palmer was right beside her, not knowing if it was okay to touch her but hovering over her as close as he deemed safe. Finally, the Doctor signaled them through the rope, and Rose and Professor Palmer started to wind back the harness. After a few seconds Hila Tacorian appeared through the portal she looked tired and disoriented but alive, it was a relief. Now if only the Doctor would hurry up and come up.

But before Hila could start taking the harness off, Emma collapsed beside her with a small shout of pain, Professor Palmer going immediately to her side. And the connection cut off, the portal was gone and the Doctor got trapped in a falling dimension.

“No!” Rose ran to the now empty space where the portal was.

That awful cold feeling returned with vengeance and ran through her whole body, leaving her feeling empty and alone. She stood there, not knowing what to do. She was numb. Was this it? Was the Doctor gone for good?

“I’m sorry.” She heard Emma say from a far away place, but Rose didn’t turn around.

She stood there looking at the empty space.

Cold.

“Don’t be.” She whispered.

\-----

The Doctor could hear the Cloister Bells of the TARDIS like they came from a faraway place, so the dimensions were still roughly connected.

It was cold, colder than the house, and a feeling of abandonment reigned in the dying universe. The forest was dark and damp around him, the sounds somehow heightened by the emptiness of the place. Apart from him and the creature, there was nothing alive in this place. He could see his breaths coming out in short pants, and he felt his hands slightly tremble. He always liked to boast about his biology, how much more superior he was to the average human, but right now the cold was soaking through his clothes, all the way to his bones.

He felt empty, the warm presence of Rose no longer in his head. The presence that a couple of moments ago had been overwhelming now gone, completely disconnected from him. 

He wondered if he was successful in getting Hila out of this place, he wasn’t sure when the connection had broken. He wondered if Emma had survived, he had tried his best to make the device safe for her but you never knew. He wondered what would be of the TARDIS now, if he was gone, the circuit would be incomplete and his ship would die.

He wondered if Rose was okay. 

He didn’t want to be separated from her this way. Not yet. Not ever. But how could he get back?

He was afraid.

Cold.

\-----

Rose heard the song of the TARDIS calling out to her, she thought she heard bells and somehow she knew it meant danger. She turned to look at the window, the storm was still raging outside but the light from the TARDIS shone brightly through the darkness. She was calling out for her.

“I’m sorry.” Professor Palmer said.

“It’s okay,” she tried to think about the Doctor, what he would do to solve this, “you did your best.”

The song grew louder, she thought she heard a gasp beside her but she didn’t pay attention to it. The light of the ship, a beacon of hope inside her head. Could she risk the TARDIS just to bring the Doctor back? But if the TARDIS was left without the Doctor she would die, she couldn’t let that happen either.

Emma stood behind her, Rose looked at her. She looked afraid, but the headset was back on her hands, as if to tell her that she would try again, that she would help her. Rose smiled at her, the feeling of gratefulness overwhelming her. She grabbed Emma’s hands and squeezed them between hers, words escaping her for once.

Rose ran to the timeship, the door opening as soon as she was close enough. The lights flickered and the rotor started moving, the names on top circling fast as if preparing to take off.

“I’m not leaving him there.” She said out loud and the ship hummed her agreement.

She pressed her hands to the console, she had an idea on how to drive, the human Doctor had taught her a few things back in their ship in the other dimension, but the console was so different from the one that they had had, and truly, she had never gone past the basics. But back there she hadn’t had this connection to the ship, this link that was so clear with this TARDIS.

“Come on Old Girl, you and I can save him.” She whispered.

She thought she felt the console grow warmer under her palms. The rotor shone more brightly than ever before, golden light painting the room. It was bright and familiar, and it was beautiful.

The song of the TARDIS grew louder and louder inside her head until it was the only thing Rose could hear. She didn’t see the levers move around her, the monitor flicker, she didn’t hear the groaning of the ship. All she knew was that she was floating.

\-----

The Doctor felt TARDIS and Rose’s presence back in his head before he heard the familiar groaning of his ship and saw the blue box fly past him.

It shouldn’t be possible, she should’ve had her energy sources completely deflated the moment she arrived. He didn’t stop to think about the impossibility of the situation, he was getting out of that place. He jumped and grabbed onto the TARDIS, clinging to the outside of the ship for dear life and before he knew it they were back at the Caliburn House. 

He looked around him, trying to regain a grip on the situation. Emma, Palmer and Hila stood there holding hands, looking at the police box in wonder. He sighed and pressed his forehead to the ship, a warm welcome sang inside his head.

He was alive and he was back in the correct universe. Ghosts really weren’t a good idea, were they?

He finally gathered himself and went inside the TARDIS. Rose stood at the console staring at the rotor, her eyes shining gold, and a lost look on her face. The rotor was shining with the same golden light, still moving up and down, the names on top circling energetically like she was still in flight. Rose closed her eyes, the lights disappeared and she collapsed on the console. The Doctor was at her side in a second, holding her close.

“Doctor.” She whispered and opened her eyes, again in her normal hazel colour.

“Rose.”

She smiled and even when he felt uneasy with what had just happened, he smiled back.

\-----

The storm had broken out, the morning carrying the crisp smell of grass after the rain and the warmth of the morning sun. It was refreshing and renewing. They were all walking through the corridors of the house to the outside, where the TARDIS was waiting for them. The Doctor walked behind the group with Emma beside him while Rose walked ahead talking to Hila and Palmer animatedly.

Emma looked much better beside him, colour had returned to her cheeks and her eyes were no longer tired. The only thing she had needed was a couple hours of rest and a good cuppa for her to look right as a horse.

“You wanted a word?” Emma said beside him.

The unease posture she had carried during the whole night while she was around him was mostly gone. And while she still looked guarded, she no longer seemed to dislike him.

“Well, if that’s alright with you.” not wanting to trouble her after the whole ordeal he had put her through but still wanting the answers he came for.

“That’s fine. You didn’t come here for the ghost, did you?” She said seriously.

“No.” He answered honestly.

“You came here for me.” She stated.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

He fidgeted a little and looked in front of him. Rose stood there, her back to him, talking happily with Palmer and Hila, not a care in the world.

“I needed to ask you something.” He said.

“Then ask.”

“Rose.”

Emma looked apprehensive, not at all how he expected her to react. She had probably sensed something or something had happened that he wasn’t aware of.

“Something is going on.” He continued, “And she’s at the center of it all.”

Emma stared at him and then at Rose’s back. She seemed to debate something inside her head before turning to him, a strange look crossing through her eyes that he couldn’t determine.

“She’s different.” Emma said. “She felt like a perfectly ordinary girl, until… It’s like she’s touched by Time itself.”

The Doctor nodded, that sounded just about right for him. He looked at Rose, she was laughing, already making friends with other people, the domestic approach he had always made fun of her for.

“And that’s it, is it?” The Doctor probed for further information, maybe he would be able to get a glimpse of the storm he felt coming.

But this time Emma just gave him a huff of a laugh and a roll of her eyes.

“Why, Doctor?” She said, as close to teasing as she felt comfortable with him, “Are you scared of the Big Bad Wolf?”

The Doctor looked at her, eyes wide and scared, she didn’t seem faced from what she had said.

And with that, everything in his mind settled. He knew now.

\-----

Rose laughed at something Hila said when she felt a hand grabbing hers. She turned, a smile still on her face and saw the Doctor standing right beside her, he looked tired after the whole ordeal he had gone through in the pocket universe, but he was alive and right beside her so she counted that as a win.

Emma approached next, coming close to Professor Palmer, she didn’t hold his hand or anything but they seemed closer than before, more comfortable around each other.  _ They make a cute couple _ , Rose thought. Discovering that Hila was a descendant of Emma and the Professor was surprising, if not ridiculously improbable it almost made her laugh. Like this was all a huge joke, what were the odds? Professor Palmer had stuttered something like a ‘what’, while Emma had gone red with embarrassment and laughed, Hila right behind her.

“Not everything ends. Not love. Not always.” The Doctor said, while looking at the trio in front of them.

Blood calling to blood, indeed. Emma took Hila away, talking all the way, the familiar connection they had now made all the sense in the world. Rose smiled at that, and then looked at the nervous wreck that was Professor Palmer in front of them.

“Doctor, what about, what about us? Emma and me?” He asked, clearly uncomfortable with his own question.

“What about you?” the Doctor asked and Rose tittered a little. He could be so oblivious sometimes.

“Well, what’s supposed to happen? I mean, what do we do now?” Professor Palmer asked.

“Hold hands. That’s what you’re meant to do.” The Doctor said, Rose felt his eyes on her so she turned to look at him.

It was intense, a look that gave away a storm of emotions it almost took her breath away.

“Keep doing that and don’t let go. That’s the secret.” He held her hand tighter.

His smile was kind and honest, whatever had happened in that universe, whatever his talk with Emma had been, maybe it had been enough for him to come to the conclusion she had known from the beginning, they were in this together. She smiled brilliantly at him, they could do this.

Something went through the Doctor’s head and in an instant the smile had disappeared and a grimace took its place.

“Oh, I’m so slow! I am slow.” The Doctor said while Rose looked incredulously at him “I’m notorious for it. That’s always been my problem. But, but I get there in the end. Oh yes.”

“Doctor?” She called for him

The Doctor explained about the other creature, the cold, the sadness. Why they all felt like loneliness enveloped the place. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to look at the Caliburn House. In one of the windows she thought she saw a shadow moving.

“Every lonely monster needs a companion.” He finished, as they saw the creature look at them from the window.

Somehow, it didn’t feel like she was talking about the creature anymore. She turned to look at him, was she his companion? Was she something more?

Was he lonely? Did he feel like a monster? He kept rambling beside her.

“It’s the oldest story in the universe, this one or any other. Boy and girl fall in love, get separated by events. War, politics, accidents in time. She’s thrown out of the hex, or he’s thrown into it. Since then they’ve been yearning for each other across time and space, across dimensions. This isn’t a ghost story, it’s a love story!” The Doctor said excitedly.

It wasn’t any other story, it was their story.

He looked at her and she realized she knew, she had always known, but now it was as clear as the skies and the galaxies and the universe.

He loved her, just as much as she loved him.

She smiled.

\-----

After they went back for the creature that was still trapped in the pocket universe and returned them to their mate’s side, they finally said their last goodbyes and returned to the TARDIS, all while holding hands as tightly as they could.

The Doctor threw them into the Vortex, taking much longer than what he usually would any other day. He was nervous, he could admit to that, there were so many things to talk about and all he wanted to do was run.

“I’ll meet you in the library.” He said, not meeting Rose’s eyes.

He knew she would argue so he added, “I’ll be there in a minute. Promise.”

Rose sighed and left the console room, her steps echoing through the hallway.

The Doctor tinkered for a few minutes with the controls until the TARDIS gave him a mental push, a gentle one compared to other times, she was being nice to him, he realized with a frown.

He went to the library slowly, suddenly being reminded of a similar situation not so long ago, when Rose had been waiting for him to talk right after they had found each other. It seemed like such a long time ago now. In this moment, he couldn’t imagine his life without Rose Tyler in it, and back then it seemed like a dream just being in her presence.

He finally arrived, the door was open and light streamed to the hallway. Rose was waiting there with two cups of tea, just like she always would.

She looked at him, her determination not wavering.

“We need to talk.” She said

“I know.” He nodded.

He went to her side and sat on the couch.

“You cannot hide things from me, not anymore. We’re in this together.”

He nodded again. She stayed quiet while he prepared himself, where to begin?

“Do you remember anything about Bad Wolf?” He asked, that seemed like a good enough place to start.

Rose frowned but answered. 

“Not really, just what you told me. I opened the Heart of the TARDIS and I became the Bad Wolf.” She said.

He fidgeted in his seat. Ok, this was it, no more running, he could do this, right? Blimey.

“The TARDIS is time itself,” he started, “and for a moment, you saw all time and space, you just don’t remember it. It’s too much power for a human to hold, it caused me to regenerate, but it didn’t do anything to you.” He looked at her, she nodded to say that she understood so he kept going. “You and the TARDIS are part of each other, you’re connected. I think she protected you, and I think it changed you.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You can hear the TARDIS, none of my other companions could do that. I think you’re slightly telepathic, not like hearing thoughts or anything like that, but it has to do through your link with her. I think these changes couldn’t develop in the other universe because you were cut out from the TARDIS. This TARDIS.”

He waited for her to nod again, this time it took her longer but after a minute she did and he continued.

“You looked into her Heart, you could see everything. And maybe you saw this. Maybe you saw what’s coming.” Whatever storm was coming their way.

He stood up and started pacing.

“And I think we’ve met before, I mean, before that basement at Henrick’s” He said, he couldn’t keep his hands still, the louder his voice got the more erratic his movements became. “Remember the dreams you told me about? Before you woke up in this universe. What if they weren’t dreams? I don’t remember all of them, and maybe they were more, who knows. But, I met you in the Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck and she died saving my life, and she was you. Victorian London. There was a barmaid, and we fought the Great Intelligence together. She died and it was my fault, and she was you.” He realized he was close to screaming so he stopped his pacing and turned to look at her again. “And you die, every single time and I’m scared.” 

And there it was, wasn’t it? The whole reason why he couldn’t stop thinking, why he couldn’t stop worrying, why he couldn’t stop running away. It could happen again, and this time he could lose her forever. He sagged and fell into the couch again, rubbing his face tiredly.

“I’m scared it’s going to happen to you, too.”

He felt the couch move a bit, and then Rose was right beside him taking one of his hands from his face and holding it close to her.

“I wonder what could be so wrong for Bad Wolf to intervene once more.” He said, looking at her straight in the eye.

_ No more running _ , he thought.

“We’ll figure it out.” She said kindly, “Together.”

He gave her a small smile that she returned immediately.

“Better with two.” He said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and all of your comments!
> 
> We're finally half way there, the plot thickens and the chapters are becoming longer.
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	10. Journey to the Center of the TARDIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could make an entire playlist with all the songs I've been using for this work and its sequel, really, the amount of old timey love songs is amazing.

A different aura had settled into the TARDIS after their talk. It was lighter, more hopeful than before, and even the ship seemed happier with the new development.

The Doctor made his tests on Rose, taking a few days off from adventuring and saving the universe. He started with the scans while Rose was sleeping and this time the TARDIS showed him the results. He frowned at the time rotor (as always, it just seemed appropriate). Had she been waiting for him to talk to Rose to allow it? Probably. The scans didn’t show anything alarming, a few things were out of the normal parameter for a human but everything seemed okay. 

Rose was as healthy and as human as they came. Well, that wasn’t what he had expected. He scratched his neck, a nervous tick he couldn’t seem to control. Then again, it seemed like his hands were just out of his control all the time in this body.

After the Doctor deemed Rose had rested enough he went to her room and knocked until she opened. Her hair was disheveled, and her pajamas hung loosely on her body, she was glaring at him but didn’t seem surprised.

“I wondered how long it would take you to wake me up for this.” She said in a sleepy voice and a frowny face.

He smiled, she was so cute.

“Rose Tyler, you know me so well.”

She made a noise that she wasn’t amused at all, and he pulled her out from her bedroom leading her to the infirmary.

The infirmary hadn’t changed that much from her old days in the TARDIS, it was a white, well-lighted room that looked more futuristic than half of the places in the time ship. Not even New New York’s hospitals could compare. There was a stretcher and a scanning chair, one of the walls was a monitor that would show him all the scans he needed, and he had a desk in case he needed to work there, that and all his equipment.

He sat her on the chair, she looked more awake now than a couple of minutes back so he counted that as a win. He had bought that chair during the war, it scanned the vital signs of the person without the need of intrusive cables everywhere, it had been really useful during that time. Her scans appeared on the wall, blood pressure, heartbeat, etc. He took a few blood samples and did some scans on her brain. She was uncomfortable during these tests, her face showing her discomfort clearly, but she stayed still and bore it.

The results started to appear one by one on the screen and he looked at them intently. After a few minutes, when he hadn’t said anything at all, Rose started to worry.

“Am I okay?” Rose asked nervously.

He sighed.

“Yes, in fact, I could go as far as to say you’re healthier than most teenagers your age.”

Rose glared at him, not really the answer she wanted.

“Not a real teenager, Doctor.”

“Yes, well, we can add that to just how normal the results are. There’s a few changes here and there.” He tried to explain, “You heal a little bit quicker, and your cells are ageing slower, not really enough to be noticeable to the normal eye.” 

The Doctor looked at his scans again. 

“You’ll probably live a few more years than the normal human.”

“And that’s it?” She asked.

“I don’t know, no one has ever done what you did before. You practically bonded with the TARDIS in a way that’s not meant to happen. You could say that you’re now part of the TARDIS.” He scratched behind his ear, “I don’t know if these are the only changes or if they’re going to evolve somehow. If your exposure to her will make the changes develop even further.”

He started pacing the room, looking once in a while at the screen. Nothing had changed. He went to grab his sonic, maybe it was something to do with his equipment. He didn’t notice Rose standing and coming to his side, putting her hand in his arm, urging him to look at her.

“Hey,” Rose said softly, “whatever happens, we’ll deal with it. Okay?”

He nodded.

\-----

They kept to safe places for a while, or as safe as they could while you travelled with the Doctor. Even the TARDIS was on board with light adventures only, it seemed.

This time the ship materialized on a deserted street. When Rose stepped out she was greeted by neon lights and signs everywhere, it looked like it was night and the lights reflected beautifully on the pavement and sleek surfaces of some of the buildings and transportation vehicles. 

They walked out of the TARDIS, into the main street. There was so much light, all of different colours, some signs had moving pictures and letters, others were outright holograms interacting with the people walking the streets. The people that she could see were wearing really fashionable clothing in vibrant colours and patterns that she had seen before, back in past Kyoto, they wore really big accessories that looked like they had another purpose but Rose had no idea what it could be. She looked consciously at her black jeans, yellow tee and jean jacket, well she couldn’t be fashionable  _ everywhere _ they went.

“Where are we?” She asked.

“We’re in New Kyoto.” The Doctor answered. “An asteroid orbiting the planet of Omicron 81 _. _ ”

A cyberpunk Japan! So that’s why the clothing patterns looked familiar.

“Humans really aren’t that original, are they? I mean, New Earth, New New York, New Vegas.” She said.

“No, they aren’t. There was a big revival in culture and traditions during the 42nd Century and the Human Empire named all of their new colonies with names of cities of the past.”

They walked through the streets, stopping by a few small shops. Most of them sold some kind of jewelry, even when it wasn’t the theme of the shop, big earrings and necklaces, sizeable rings and bracelets, all in silver and golden colour.

“Why’s everyone wearing jewelry?” Rose asked.

“They’re translators, really cheap. This asteroid receives immigrants and travellers from all over the galaxy and most speak different languages from each other.”

“That’s amazing!” She said excitedly.

The Doctor seemed on board with her excitement, too.

“Human ingenuity! Once you finally realize you’re all humans, you start to create useful technology so everyone is equal. Translators and wearable technology for the disabled is so cheap anyone has access to it.”

Rose rolled her eyes, but smiled. She kinda understood where that comment came from, most of her neighbors back in the Powell Estate where she grew up were immigrants and she sometimes had trouble talking with Rosita, who was still learning english.

They kept walking until Rose suggested stopping for a snack, they were on a different planet, of course she was going to eat. They entered a small tea shop decorated with more neon lights and traditional paintings that looked Japanese, or at least she thought they were, she didn’t know much to actually pinpoint it. She guessed the Doctor would tell her about it. And he did, he explained what their names were and how they were copies of the originals. The Great Wave, Genji Mono-something and a winter landscape decorated the entirety of the wall, giving a more traditional air to the super technological tea shop. They ordered some green biscuits and some alien looking tea and sat down at a table.

“Explain. What do you mean I’m telepathic.”

“Slight. Slight telepathic.” He grabbed a biscuit and Rose glared at him.

“Well, yeah, what do you mean with that.” She insisted.

“When you looked into the Heart of the TARDIS, you bonded with her. That bond is a telepathic bond, which gives you a small telepathic field.”

“Uh-huh.” She nodded even if she didn’t understand a thing of what he just said.

“The TARDIS has a really specific telepathic signature that, really, not many have access to it. I, as her pilot, and also part of the circuit, have access to it.”

Rose nodded. She remembered the time when the Doctor, her pinstripe Doctor, had used the TARDIS link with her to talk to her telepathically, although that time he had said he was being helped by the machinery that Morton guy had him connected to.  _ Like asking for a ride, _ he had said.

“The telepathic bond, is it similar to a marriage bond?” She asked

He looked at her surprised and she felt the need to explain herself.

“It’s just, in the other universe, we had one, a marriage bond, that is, the other Doctor and me.” She started picking at her fingernails.

Why was she so nervous talking about this? The human Doctor and this Doctor were the same, she shouldn’t be embarrassed. 

“He said he didn’t know how but that I was able to form it.” She continued.

The Doctor avoided looking at anything in particular. He grabbed another biscuit and started to crumble it between his hands.

“I think he knew more than what he was telling you.” He said sullenly.

This time she glared at him, “He was you.”

He nodded and seemed to calm down. He collected the crumbs from the biscuit and gathered them in his hand, putting them back on the plate, he grabbed another biscuit and this time he ate it.

“When I was cut out from the TARDIS all I could feel was a hole in my head, and when we made the bond the hole was filled.” She frowned, “Why can’t I feel the hole from my bond?”

The Doctor shrugged.

“This body is from before you made that bond, so it makes sense you don’t feel it’s absence since it was never there.” He said with a wave of his hand.

“Oh.”

She felt her eyes sting a little. So that was why.

She looked at her ring, she hadn’t taken it off at all since the Doctor had given it back. She played with it a little, she realized she hadn’t referred to her husband as  _ my Doctor _ in a while, she didn’t know why that surprised her so much, but it felt like she had just discovered something monumental. She looked at the Doctor in front of her, he was looking at her with something aching to sorrow in his eyes, and somehow she understood.

“Right!” She said, a little more loudly than what she wanted. “So,” this time more quietly, “umm, how does it work, I mean, the telepathy thing.”

She knew the basics of how a marriage bond worked, you could feel each other’s feelings and if you concentrated enough you could send images and sensations, it was never overwhelming, most of the time it was like a comforting presence in the back of your head telling you that you weren’t alone (kind of like what she had with the TARDIS, now that she thought about it). You could shield yourself from your partner if you wanted, and actually talking through the bond was practically impossible. But she didn’t know how telepathy worked, this was all brand new to her.

“Just like you said, you feel something in your head, just at the edges of your conscience. Like when you feel the warmth of a person standing right next to you.”

She nodded, but frowned.

“I can only feel the TARDIS.”

“That’s because of your bond. You’ll be able to feel me through her since I’m part of the circuit. Concentrate.” He grabbed her hand. “Close your eyes.”

She closed her eyes and breathed in and out. She felt the TARDIS, her golden presence in her head. And right beside her, something blue. She could feel it, at the edges of her consciousness, the Doctor’s presence. She gasped and let go of his hand. He smiled at her.

“I felt you.” She said.

“With a little more practice you’ll be able to feel my presence with no problem.”

She nodded, still a little bit dazed. It had been so familiar and new at the same time and she was longing to feel him like that all the time.

“And that’s the only change?” She asked, as if trying to distract her thoughts.

He shrugged.

Rose nodded and stayed silent for a moment.

“Am I still human?” She asked.

“Yes, definitely.”

“Will I keep changing?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m not sure I understand anything of what you just said.”

“Neither do I. I don’t know how deep your bond with the TARDIS runs and how it works. Guess we’ll have to figure it out.”

“Guess we’ll do.”

\-----

The past couple of days the Doctor had been bolder with his flirtations with Rose, and Rose answered right back with the same energy, grinning at winking at him. He thought they were on the brink of something. They hadn’t practiced more of her telepathy, the Doctor preferring much more distracting her with dates. He had taken her to an Opera and she had to dress up, she had been really excited at the prospect of dress up so he started to plan future adventures where she could do that. After that, they had gone to a nice restaurant on Mars after it was colonized, where they spent the night dancing. 

Great idea, Doctor. Why, thank you, Doctor.

They also spent time sitting on the floor of the console room just laughing at stupid jokes while the TARDIS recalibrated in between some of their more adventurous trips. He thought about the times they would spend talking about trivial things sitting on the jumpseat while waiting for the TARDIS, back in the old days. He should bring back the double jumpseat, why had he got rid of it, again?

He heard Rose’s steps coming closer to the control room. She came into the room, her energy filling the space. Her blue dress and sneakers made her look like a normal girl, just like when they had met in that basement at Henrick’s. He wanted to kiss her.

“Is it me or is it hot in here?” She said while blowing air to her face with her hand.

The dress accentuated her legs amazingly, it was short enough to get an eyeful and looked like it was made with a really light material, probably the reason why she had chosen it.

“Is it?” He asked absently.

It was, he was only in his waistcoat and shirt, and his sleeves were rolled up, his jacket forgotten in one of the chairs, superior time lord biology or not, it was a little stuffy in there.

He looked at the rotor in the middle of the room, the TARDIS was being meddlesome, and for the first time ever, he was on board with her plan. He looked at Rose once more, she was saying something, he saw her lips move but he wasn’t paying attention.

Bad Doctor, concentrate.

“What?” He said.

Rose laughed, that was nice, her laugh. She should laugh all the time.

“I  _ said _ : what are we doing today?” She repeated.

Right. He had had an amazing idea while she was sleeping.

“Well, how about I teach you how to fly the TARDIS.” He said in a forced casual tone.

“Really?” She perked up.

“Well, you have piloted her before. I don’t see why not. Just the basics, how about that?” 

He pushed a button and music started playing in the TARDIS speakers. Rose laughed, and she recognized the song,  _ There Is A Light That Never Goes Out _ by The Smiths started playing throughout the room.

“You’re a hipster, aren’t you?” She laughed at him. “What happened to punk?” She teased.

He winked at her and stood as close as possible. This was a great idea, he could get close to Rose with the excuse of showing her which button to push or which lever to pull.

“I’ll make it easy. Shut it down to basic mode for you.”

She rolled her eyes at that, but she was still smiling.

“Well, I can’t be worse than you.” She teased.

“Cheeky.”

She smiled that tongue touched grin that he wanted to kiss away.

“Right.” He pulled a lever, turning the shields off.

He showed her the buttons, it seemed she had an idea about how it worked. She pulled one of the small levers and then everything turned dark. The music hadn’t turned off and the emergency lighting was on but something was clearly wrong.

That was not supposed to happen.

“What happened?” Rose asked.

He checked the monitor and started to do the sequence to return to the normal navigation. He pulled the final lever and nothing happened.

“Er, all the electrical impulses are jammed. I can’t get the shields back up. She’s completely vulnerable.”

The Doctor managed to push up a breaker lever and then there was a big noise, like machinery being broken. Everything exploded, sparks flew all around them. The TARDIS groaned.

He could see the unease on Rose’s face.

“Magnetic hobble-field. We’re flying right into it. Rose, stay by me.”

Rose tried to get to his side but the TARDIS was shaking too much and it pushed her to the other side of the room. She was holding her head and looked as if she was in pain, he thought he saw her eyes shine gold for one small second and then it was gone. Oh, he didn’t like that. Something was very, very wrong.

“My head hurts, what’s happening?” Rose said.

The Doctor tried his best to pilot the ship away from whatever was pulling her.

“Don’t worry, I can fix this. I just have to press a big friendly button.” He tried to joke.

Rose looked at him worriedly.

“You don’t know what’s happening, do you?”

“Nope.”

He thought he heard something clamoring on the floor, a grenade looking device rolled along the floor. Rose picked it up before he could reach it, he saw as she yelped and dropped it again. 

He ran to the doors and tried to see what was happening on the outside of the ship as they crashed. Again, that loud noise. Another explosion, this time it threw both of them violently.

Everything went black.

\-----

The Doctor woke up a little disoriented. He could hear voices talking. About him? Yeah, they thought he was dead. Which he guessed would be true for a normal human, then again. He moved and winced, he was a little beaten up, his left arm stinged, he had a small gash and he was bleeding a little but apart from that everything seemed fine. He stood up as quickly as he could stumbling a little, the world was all wobbly but that was normal, right?

He was in some kind of ship, he realized as the world stopped spinning around him. A salvage ship. His head hurt, something was missing. He shook his head (bad idea, he shouldn’t have done that) and approached the other people. They were whispering between each other, not noticing him as he approached.

“It’s rude to whisper.” He said as a greeting, scaring the people in front of him. “Hi. I’m the Doctor. And you are? Er, Van Baalen and Van Baalen. Van Baalen and Van Baalen. That’s going to get confusing later.”

“We found you drifting.” One of the Van Baalen said.

“No, you didn’t. You’re lying.” He smiled a not really there smile, “What broke my ship was a magno-grab. Found this remote in your pocket. Eh? What are the chances? Outlawed in most galaxies, this little beastie can disable whole vessels unless you have shield oscillators,” Oh no, “which I turned off so that Rose could fly.”

Rose.  _ Rose. _

“Rose. Where is she? Girl, about so high. Cheeky.” He turned to look around but she wasn’t there.

_ Where is she?, _ he heard the Cloister Bells, the lights of the TARDIS blinked calling his attention. Oh no. 

“She’s still on board.”

\-----

Inside the Tardis, the Cloister bell was tolling loudly. There were little fires everywhere and pieces of machinery all over the floor.

Rose woke up slowly, she tried to open her eyes but they were so heavy. Her body hurt so bad, and something felt really wrong inside her head. She tried to move, groaning as she did so, but she was unable to move. This time she was able to open her eyes a little and noticed a blurry, heavy thing that was over her. Great, she was being pressed by some wreckage. She did her best to focus her eyes and pushed the piece of wreckage with all her strength. She managed to sit and leaned on her right hand, a burning pain ran through her whole arm. She gasped and looked at it, her palm was burned with some weird markings on it. It was probably from the thing she had picked up before crashing.

The lights were red all around her, and the humming of the ship was gone. The song of the TARDIS sounded distorted in her head, like she was in pain. Her head hurt.

“Doctor?” She called out.

No answer.

She stood up shakily and looked around her, she wasn’t in the console room anymore, she noticed, she had been pushed out to a hallway. Which one, she wasn’t sure.

The groan of the ship propped her to walk, the hallways looked dark and unfamiliar, and for the first time in her life, she was scared inside of the TARDIS.

\-----

The TARDIS was leaking fuel through the doors, but the Doctor knew that whatever happened the ship would keep Rose safe. He just needed to enter and get her right by his side, then everything would be alright again.

“Right behind those doors is the salvage of a lifetime.” He told the brothers.

They were already prepared with respirators, he had grabbed an extra for Rose just in case she needed it. He had promised them the wreckage, all the machinery left from the crash, but he had known it before they even opened the doors, he wasn’t an honest man.

The Doctor unlocked the door and they entered the ship.

They were greeted by the Cloister Bells tolling. The Van Baalen brothers were surprised, of course, the TARDIS was an impressive ship, and if it had been any other day he would’ve made fun of them and gloat about his ship. But it wasn’t any other day, Rose was here and she was in danger and he needed to get her safe.

The Doctor vented the fumes from the console room, the smoke finally clearing.

“Safe to breathe.” He said, “For the moment, so I don’t suggest taking off the respirators.”

The Doctor scanned with the sonic the entirety of the console room, wincing at the wreckage left behind from the crash, repairing the ship would take days in this state.

“Come on, Rose, talk to me, Love.” He muttered to himself.

“How big is this baby?” One of the brothers asked.

He didn’t have time for this! He needed to get Rose back. He huffed impatiently and turned sharply at the Van Baalen brothers, two of them were still eyeing the ship with greed in their eyes, but the third was looking at the rotor with something else. He frowned, it reminded him of the look Rose would get when ‘talking’ to the ship.

“Picture the biggest ship you’ve ever seen. Are you picturing it?” He said.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Now forget it, because this ship is infinite.”

All of them turned sharply at him.

“It could take you hours to find the girl.”

“Days. Plus this whole place is toxic. She could be dead by the time I reach her. So, here’s the mission. We’re going to find her in one hour.” He explained calmly.

He thought he was being reasonable, his voice steady but firm.

“We?”

“You’re my guys for this.” The Doctor said.

“That wasn’t the deal.”

“That was always the deal.” His voice was cold.

“What makes you think we’ll help?”

These stupid humans should know they were playing with fire. He went to the console and flicked a few switches. A countdown clock started on the scanner, big red numbers starting to count down.

“I just activated the TARDIS self-destruct system. One hour until this ship blows.”

He suddenly realized that Rose had always been his self control, he didn’t know what he was capable of if he didn’t get her back. Donna had been scared of him right after he had lost Rose, was he making the same face right now?  _ You need someone to stop you _ , maybe he did, and maybe the only one he needed was Rose.

One of the brothers (Bram, he was called Bram) ran for the door, but the Doctor snapped his fingers and the door slammed in his face, closing and trapping them inside.

“Don’t try to leave.” He said, no longer up for games, “The TARDIS is in lockdown. I’ll open those doors when Rose is by my side.” Safe and sound by his side.

“You crazy lunatic!”

“Yes! Most definitely. My ship, my rules.” He tried for a smile, it felt crooked, but he thought he managed pretty well.

“You’ll kill us all. And the girl.” One of them tried to reason.

“She’s going to die if you don’t help me.” He argued back. “Don’t get into a spaceship with a madman. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that?” He said, a little joke to lighten up the room.

That’s what he did, he tried to make dreadful situations lighter by making jokes. That had been a good joke, right?

“Okay, a little gently persuasion. Say thirty minutes.” He said and pressed another button.

The countdown jumped to 29:59:10, the numbers ticking down somberly. The TARDIS groaned around him, he ignored her.

“She’ll die even quicker now!”

“No, she won’t.” It registered that he didn’t like the way his voice sounded in that moment “We all perform better under pressure. Anybody want to go for fifteen minutes?”

He approached the controls again and the brothers screamed in unison to stop. Excellent, everybody was now on track with his plan.

“It’s your own time you’re wasting. Salvage of a lifetime. You meant the ship. I meant Rose.”

\-----

Rose arrived at what she thought was one of the storerooms, she hadn’t been in this one before. She knew the TARDIS was infinite, and she liked to walk the halls everytime she could knowing that she would always be surprised with what she found. She saw the not-telescope from when they met Queen Victoria, exactly the same as she remembered it. She remembered that adventure, the werewolf and their stupid, little bet that at the end she had won. She smiled, he never did get around to pay her back. Had the Doctor returned for it at some point after his travels with her?

The shelfs were full of machinery and jewelry and paintings, a violet brooch stood up from the rest, it looked familiar but she couldn’t figure where from. There was a cradle and many books. She recognized the gun she had been carrying when the walls between universes had broken, and somehow the weird looking umbrella with the red handle didn’t look strange at all among all the other junk. There was a tiny model of the TARDIS and a cup with what she figured were sonic screwdrivers since she recognized the one from her former Doctor.

These were memories, mementos from all of the Doctor’s travels across the universe. Memories of her and all of his companions, of his past selves and of his adventures.

She heard something move behind her and when she turned around she thought she saw a dark, tall figure. A growl could be heard in the room and she hid behind a shelf. There was something in the TARDIS.

She needed to find the Doctor. Her head hadn’t stopped hurting, but she just kept walking. The TARDIS sounded in so much pain.

“We’re going to be okay, you and me,” Rose said out loud to the ship, “we just have to find the Doctor and then we’ll figure it out.”

Rose stumbled her way through the hallways, they felt longer now that she was hurting all over and a creature she didn’t know could be lurking in the shadows. She came to a door that led her to the swimming pool, the galaxy sky reflected beautifully on the still water. She crossed the room to get to the other door. She didn’t know if she was going the correct way, but the TARDIS would help her if she got lost. Maybe.

She found another library, not the one she was familiar with, the small, intimate library where they spent their nights unwinding, but a different one. This one was massive, it had multiple floors and a glass ceiling reflecting the beautiful colours of different galaxies. She didn’t know there were multiple libraries. 

A stinging pain ran through one of her eyes to the rest of her head. She thought she heard whispers in the library.

_ I made up the name TARDIS from the initials: Time And Relative Dimension In Space. _

It was the voice of a young woman she didn’t recognize. She shook her head and did her best to keep going.

She left the library and saw light coming from one of the rooms. She thought she heard a river, but that couldn’t be right. She went to see what it was, the light and the sounds were streaming from an open door, she peered at the room and found an amazing Rose Garden, there was a sunny blue sky over her head, not a cloud in sight, the wind blew through the trees, there was a river running through the garden, just what she had heard before entering. Pink and yellow roses decorated the whole place, it was beautiful. She saw a statue in the far back, hidden from view, but she couldn’t see what it was, it looked like the silhouette of a woman but she couldn’t be sure.

“You’re amazing.” She breathed out.

The TARDIS ‘tried’ to sound cheerful in her head.

Rose’s eyes stung and she felt tears gather.

“You’re hurt and you’re consoling  _ me _ ,” Rose cried.

Again, that stinging pain returned. She gasped and held her head in her hands.

_ The TARDIS is dimensionally transcendental. _

_ What does that mean? _

_ That’s trans-dimensional engineering. A key Time Lord discovery. _

More voices, all of them different, some of them sounded familiar, others didn’t. Rose left the garden, the corridors were dark, and she thought she heard something growl behind her. Whatever the creature was, it was following her and it kept getting closer and closer.

She tried to run, but her body still hurt and her head was killing her.

_ The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn’t get through that door. Believe me, they’ve tried. _

The voice of her first Doctor called out to her. She could weep from joy, she thought she would never get to hear his voice. They weren’t only whispers, they were Whispers of Time, of memories long past, she heard them from the rooms and the hallways calling out for her. It was like they told her to follow.

_ We are in space! _

_ It can move anywhere in time and space? _

Different voices, different memories. Not all of them were hers, but all of them were from the TARDIS.

She thought she saw golden light.

_ I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. _

It was her own voice, but it sounded so different, distorted.

_ I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be. _

_ She’s part of me _ .

Someone was messing up with the TARDIS, this wouldn’t happen if everything was fine. 

Another growl echoed through the corridors. The thing that was following her was getting near. She ran.

Finally, she found the console room.

\-----

The Doctor fought all the way with the humans that were supposed to help him find Rose, not make the task more difficult. They were frustrating and his patience was coming short.

The brother that remained with him, the most helpful one, Tricky, and the Doctor found an Echo of the console room. This was good, this was progress. He was going to find Rose. Relief coursed through him. Maybe he should treat Tricky at least a little bit better. The Doctor felt like a monster, worrying only now that he saw progress on getting Rose back.

The Doctor took off his respirator, not really seeing the point now that he was close to getting Rose back, and rummaged in the wreckage of the console, if he could maybe pinpoint how many echoes there were in the ship, he could probably find Rose faster. A piece of metal fell from the console but instead of the sound of a clang on the floor, there was nothing. It had disappeared.

“There’s more than one echo room. Hey, look, look.” something fell without them touching it, “The TARDIS has Rose. That was her. That was her there. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

He could kiss the rotor. Rose was alive, she was here, and everything was going to be okay.

“Of course she would, her connection to the TARDIS is stronger than mine.” He said, more to himself than to Tricky.

“Why can’t we see her?” Tricky asked.

Good question, he was starting to like the kid.

“It’s like a light switch. Two positions, flickering at super-infinite speeds. We’re only together for a brief second. Shush.”

The Doctor heard Rose pant and move around the console room. Tricky didn’t seem to hear anything.

“I can hear her.” The Doctor said.

The internal door opened and The Doctor and Tricky heard the growl of something else.

‘Doctor!’ Rose screamed from the other console room.

The Doctor took out his sonic and started to scan the room.

“If I can just isolate her position, I can nudge the alternation, reach in and grab her.”

The other brother came into the room, what was his name? Gregor! Right! Didn’t matter. He was spouting nonsense that was irrelevant in the moment but the scanner in his hand was a promising development. He took the scanner and reprogrammed it to find Rose, not caring about the protests of Gregor.

The scanner found her quickly and the Doctor used his sonic and pulled Rose out of the room she was, to him. Her scent hit him like a ton of bricks. Roses and time. She was safe, back with him, in his arms. All the tension in his body left.

Rose sobbed in his arms, but hugged him automatically.

“It’s alright. Rose, I’m so, so sorry. Sorry. Please, please forgive me, Rose.” He said into her hair.

“Something was following me!” She said, grabbing him even tighter. “Everything’s wrong, the TARDIS, she’s in so much pain. What’s going on!?”

“It’s okay, you’re okay. We’re fine now.” The Doctor tried to calm her.

She pulled back a little, she was going to say something but noticed the other two people in the room.

“Who are they?” She asked him.

“Friends. Well, people who aren’t trying to kill us,” he said. 

For the moment, he didn’t add.

“All right, all right. Look, a deal’s a deal. You got the girl back. Now cancel the self-destruct.” The annoying brother (Gregor) said.

He looked at the man, tensing once more. He really didn’t like him. He had been making the TARDIS mad ever since he had stepped through her doors, he had only been an obstacle in his search, and now he was making demands.

“Doctor?” He heard Rose’s voice beside him.

He looked at Rose, her eyes were wide and glistening, he could see a shadow of pain whenever she tried her best not to wince, she was a little battered and her dress was dirty, but she was alive and well and by his side.

Right. Turn the self destruct, get these people out of his ship, leave this place and get Rose to safety.

He went to the monitor, and deactivated the self-destruct.

“All done!” He tried for a cheerful tone, he thought this time he had managed it better.

“So, we’re safe.” Gregor said.

“Ish. Apart from the monsters and the TARDIS reinventing the architecture every five minutes.”

He went to check the monitor once more, it blinked in red colour. Gallifreyan writing appeared on the screen. Oh, that was bad. Rose must have sensed his change of mood because she asked.

“What does it say?” 

“It appears the engine is damaged. We’re in trouble,” he turned to look at Rose. “It needs fixing or we’re toast.”

He grabbed Rose’s hand and went to the below level of the room.

“Where are we going?” Tricky asked.

“Detour.” He answered simply

Letting go of Rose’s hand, the Doctor sonicked open a hexagonal panel of the wall.

“The centre of the TARDIS.”

\-----

They walked through the hallways, this time hand in hand. The grip the Doctor had on Rose’s hand was painful but she thought she understood why, she wasn’t feeling much like letting go of him herself. Her head hadn’t stopped hurting and it was difficult for her to keep pace. They had stopped a few times in the way for her to catch her breath, the Doctor looking worriedly over her.

“I can feel her, crying out in my head.” She told him.

She felt like she was whining, but really, she didn’t know how else to react to the pain.

“Your connection is stronger than mine.” The Doctor explained softly, his voice kind and patient.

They kept walking, the brothers barely talking behind her. Tricky would sometimes look at the wall like he was hearing something, like he could hear something  _ through _ them. The other brother, Gregor, gave her a bad feeling but she didn’t know if it was her or if it was the TARDIS. Right at that moment she didn’t know what was her and what the TARDIS was.

Rose heard murmurs again, echoes of voices. And then steps.

“What’s that?” She asked, stopping in her tracks.

“Don’t worry about it.” The Doctor answered and kept walking, the brothers following behind him.

Rose didn’t follow, though, she heard more voices and she started to walk towards them, and this time she saw herself, with the Doctor.

_ ‘I’ll make it easy. Shut it down to basic mode for you.’ _

_ ‘Well, I can’t be worse than you.’ _

But, that was earlier. That had only been a few hours ago, before this madness had started. The voice of her first Doctor came from behind her and she turned around to see him dancing and herself looking amused at him.

_ ‘Rose! I’ve just remembered!’ _

_ ‘What?’ _

_ ‘I can dance! I can dance!’ _

It couldn’t be! That had been one of her early travels, when Jack had joined them. Another voice, this time from beside her.

_ ‘You’re a punk.’ _

_ ‘It’s good to be a lunatic.’ _

_ ‘That’s what you are. A big old punk with a bit of rockabillly thrown in.’ _

Her past Doctor. All of her memories were playing out in front of her in a physical form. 

“Rose, stop. Don’t touch it.” The Doctor, her current Doctor, grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, “There’s a rupture in time somewhere on board the ship. A small tear in the fabric of the continuum. It must have happened when the TARDIS was pulled in by the salvage vessel. The TARDIS is leaking. The past. You and me. Everything we’ve done, everything we’ve said. Recent history. It’s not real. It’s a memory.” 

He pulled her by the hand, away from the Doctors of her past.

They heard a growl and the creature appeared again. Its two heads and two sets of arms made it look like it was pulled from an old movie of deformed radioactive creatures, it stopped for a moment in front of them, looking intently at the brothers and then started chasing them. Running was not an easy fit for Rose at the moment, her head hurt, everything felt hazy and she could barely focus on anything.

They managed to escape the creature. This hallways felt like a maze, she had never been there before, they felt unending. She felt trapped.

They stopped, the Doctor letting her catch her breath. He was looking at the sonic with an intense face.

“We lost them.” He said.

Them? She frowned.

“You’re not surprised by the creature, you know what it is.” Rose said.

The Doctor looked hard at her.

“I’ll explain to you later.”

There was a banging sound. A rod flew through the wall just in front of them, almost piercing them. The Doctor grabbed her hand and they were running once more as more rods pierced the corridors from different angles. They heard a scream from the hallway in front of them. Rose worried, the brothers had run in front of them, after all. They found Tricky, speared by a rod through his shoulder, and nailed to the wall. The metallic smell of blood permeated the hall, Rose covered her nose and mouth, not really knowing what else to do.

When the Doctor explained that Tricky was human, horror coursed through her veins. She wanted to throw up. That man had lied to his own brother, had stopped caring about him, how could that man be such a monster?

They got Tricky out of the rod, and she helped with the sealing of his wound. She breathed shakily but a little more at ease now that Tricky wasn’t going to bleed out in front of her. They continued walking, this time Rose stuck close to Tricky, making sure he was okay.

The group walked until they reached a sealed metallic door.

“Where are we?” Rose asked.

“The Eye of Harmony, Power source.” The Doctor turned to the other two before continuing, “Right, you lot, wait here. I’ll check it’s safe. We can only survive for a minute or two in there.”

“Be careful.” Rose said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly.

He hesitated.

“I don’t want to leave you with them.” He said.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

Rose smiled. The Doctor looked at her, nodded then winked and entered the room.

Rose stayed with the other two. Tricky was reclined against a wall so she approached him.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

Tricky only shook his head slowly. She wanted to do something, grab his hand or give him a hug but he was probably hurting too much for that. 

The other man, she didn’t remember his name, scanned her with his manual computer.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She said angrily.

The man shrugged. “Intelligent sensor.” He said.

‘Powell Estate. Cheek. Unidentifiable substan–’ before it could finish, Rose shoved the machine out of her way.

“Wonder what’ll say if I point it at you, asshole!” She said hotly.

It seemed her outrage was enough to get Tricky going on his own thoughts about his brother. The brothers were fighting when the Doctor came back, he split them up. They didn’t have time for petty squabbles.

They entered the Eye of Harmony, and the door closed right behind them.

“That’s not good.” The Doctor said, if he said anything else it was lost to Rose.

It was beautiful. In front of her was a massive ball of fire shining its light in the room. It was hot, there was a heavy storm going, the wind blowing wildly around them, there was so much light and her head hurt and she couldn’t tear her eyes from the burning star above her.

“Exploding star in the act of becoming a black hole. Time Lord engineering. You rip the star from its orbit, suspend it in a permanent state of decay.” The Doctor told her, “This way, quickly.”

He pulled her towards the other door, they opened it but the creature was there waiting for them.

They tried to close the door, but the creature stuck its hand through it making it difficult to close it. Tricky and the Doctor tried to push against the creature, the other brother ran to the door they had come through.

It was sealed.

“There’s no way out. We’re trapped.” Gregor said.

Gregor pushed the Doctor out of the way, clearly not thinking he was capable of holding out the door.

Rose stood as close to the Doctor as it was possible.

“That creature, it’s not one but two people.” Rose said.

“Please, don’t ask.”

Gregor used the computer, pointing it at the creature.

“Identifiable substance. Human.”

“It’s them.” Rose whispered. “The creature, they are them, aren’t they”

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor said to the brothers. “It isn’t just the past leaking out through the time rift. It’s the future.”

The Doctor moved forward but Rose stopped him, pulling him back by the hand.

“But, but, we can stop this.” She argued.

The Doctor shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.”

“We can interrupt the timeline or something!” Rose screamed.

The Doctor looked at Rose, a resigned look on his eyes and then nodded. Her wish was his command, or so he said.

“Don’t touch each other, otherwise the future will reassert itself.” The Doctor warned the brothers.

He pulled them back just as the creature broke in. They clawed at Gregor’s backpack, from within it a light bulb fell. Tricky attacked the conjoined creature, kicking it off the catwalk. The creature held onto him as they fell and Tricky was left dangling.

“Now you have to pull yourself up!” The Doctor told him, but Rose could see Tricky slipping.

Gregor tried to pull Tricky up onto the catwalk, he struggled but held onto his brother, not letting go. As he managed to pull him on to the floor they changed into the burnt and deformed conjoined creature they had tried to run away from. The future had reasserted itself. The creature turned to them but Rose couldn’t move. She had tried to help them.

The Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand and pulled her out of the room just in time. He sealed the door and they rested against it.

“I couldn’t help them.” She said.

“I’m sorry.”

\-----

They were so close now, they ran to the engine room and when they entered they were met by the edge of a cliff. The wind howled around them, and there was barely any space to stand. There was a door on the other side but no way to get there.

The Doctor stood there, not knowing how to solve this. The door looked like it was miles away.

“How do we cross?” Rose asked beside him.

He was frustrated, they were so close. He let go of her hand and ran his hands through his hair. He had to think of something, if not.

“I don’t know.” He said.

“What’s the plan?” She asked.

“I don’t know.”

“She’s in pain, Doctor!”

“I know!”

“Then what do we do?!”

“I don’t know!”

They stared at each other, Rose’s eyes were gleaming with unshed tears. She must’ve been in so much pain. He hadn’t thought her bond ran so deep, but now here she was struggling with every breath she took. If something happened to the TARDIS, would something happen to her, too?

“We’re gonna die, aren’t we?” She said with a shaky voice.

How could he lie to her in a moment like this.

“Yes, we are.” He said softly, “Rose, I’m so–” He wanted to apologize, for everything, but she interrupted him.

“Don’t. Don’t apologize.” She said, “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

She gave him a small smile, and grabbed his hand as tightly as she could.

Her hand was warm and her hold was weak, but he gripped at it like it was his life force.

“I’m so glad I met you.” He said.

Tears were falling from her eyes, but she was still smiling at him.

“Me, too.” She whispered.

He smiled at her.

How many times had he put her through dangerous situations? How many times had she been at risk of dying? How many times had he hurt her with something he had done or said? And here she was, his ever present beacon of light in the darkness, smiling at him. Thanking him.

He loved her. How could he not?

“Well, there’s no point now. We’re about to die.” He said, “Rose, I never did get to tell you.”

She frowned.

“Tell me what?” She asked.

“How that sentence was going to end.” He suddenly felt more nervous than he had ever felt in his entire life.

He saw her eyes widen.

“It’s okay, I–” She started.

“No, it’s not.”

That day on the beach had been the worst day of his lifes, standing there unable to reach her, saying goodbye. Living it twice, giving her up that second time, had broken him. 

This was his last chance, he had to get it right. Third time’s a charm, wasn’t that what the human saying said.

“Rose Tyler,” He saw her eyes glimmer and smile, he could do it if he got that smile for the rest of his life, “I love you.”

Rose smiled through the tears. Her smile was so big, it must have hurt her cheeks.

“I love you, too, Doctor.” She said.

He grabbed her face with trembling hands, and she angled her face to him. He got close, memorizing every single detail, the way her eyes shined, the way she smiled, the way her nose would go slightly red when she cried. 

He kissed her.

Rose wrapped her hands around her neck, pulling him even closer to her. His hands left her face go to wrap around her smaller frame, crushing her against him. He worried slightly that she wasn’t able to breath, but she didn’t seem to care and neither did he if he was honest. She was soft and warm against him, her lips were soft and tasted of blood and tears, she could barely breathe through the pain she had been experiencing for the past hour, and it was everything he had ever wanted. They pulled apart after what felt like an eternity and just a few minutes.

Her smile was so bright it could light up the whole universe.

And then everything was crystal clear. He pulled back from the excitement.

“We’re not going to die here! This isn’t real! It’s a snarl.” He said.

“What?”

“What does a wounded animal do?” Rose only looked at him incredulously, “It tries to scare everyone away. We’re close to the engine. The TARDIS is snarling at us, trying to frighten us off. We need to jump.”

Rose laughed, what he was saying was completely insane, he knew, but the way she looked at him told him everything he needed to know.

“We’ll cross a portal to the engine.” He said.

“Alright. So we jump.” Rose nodded, determined.

“We jump.”

“You’re mad!” She screamed, but she was laughing.

“You love it.”

She nodded.

“I do.”

He grabbed her hand and gripped it tightly.

“Ready?” He asked, “Geronimo.”

They ran and jumped off the edge of the cliff. He closed his eyes, not really wanting to see if he was wrong, and felt himself land on the floor. He opened his eyes to a white space filled with pieces of metal frozen in time as they travelled out from an explosion.

“The heart of the TARDIS.” He said. 

He gave a few steps, letting go of Rose’s hand. 

He touched the pieces of metal that were frozen in a single moment of time.

“The engine, it’s already exploded. It must have been the collision with the salvage ship. She wrapped her hands around the force. Froze it.”

He saw out of the corner of his eyes Rose wince as more pain filled her, getting so close to the heart, a part of her, was probably too much. Her eyes were shining golden, but compared to other times, her gaze was focused.

Everything was making so much noise in that silent room. 

“Temporary fix. Eventually this whole place will erupt. There’s no way I can save her now.” He said, and now he felt like he was drifting aimlessly, “She’s just always been there for me, and taken care of me, and now it’s my turn and I don’t know what to do. I think it just–”

What was he supposed to do?

“It hurts.” Rose said.

The Doctor finally turned to look at her, she was holding her head between her hands and she had her eyes closed tightly. He went to her side and wrapped his arms around her.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He whispered to her.

They hugged and Rose hissed when her hand grazed his arm.

The Doctor pulled away and took her hand in his. He examined it and saw the burn marks on it.

She had Big Friendly Button burnt into her palm. Oh, so that’s what that had been.

Oh.

_ Hope _ .

“You are beautiful.” He said with a smile, “Beautiful fragile human skin. Like parchment. Thank you.” He kissed her hand and pulled back, “The rift in time. All the memories leaking out. I need to find the moment we crashed. I need to find the music.”

He sonicked around him and then  _ There Is A Light That Never Goes Out _ by The Smiths, the music that they were playing as they used their magno-grab, started to play in the white room. He laughed maniacally. There was a vertical crack in the wall with a bright light streaming through.

“The time rift. Recent past, possible future.” He said excitedly.

“What are you going to do?”

“Rewrite today, I hope.”

He took out of his pocket the remote for the magno-grab and pulled it apart, modifying its purpose. He used the sonic screwdriver to etch the letters onto the grenade.

“I’ve thrown this through the rift before. I need to make sure this time. Going to take it in there myself. There might be a certain amount of yelling.” He said as he approached the crack in the wall.

“Wait! You’ll rewrite today.”

Rose grabbed onto his arm and he turned to look at her.

“Yes, that’s the idea.”

“Are we going to remember?” She asked as he bit her bottom lip.

Oh.

The Doctor shrugged. “Maybe, we’re at the Center of the explosion”

Her eyes were wide, looking directly at him.

“I’ll forget everything that happened today.” She said.

The Doctor grabbed her face with one hand, caressing her cheek, she placed her own above his.

“I don’t want to forget. I love you, I don’t want to forget telling you that.”

He smiled. His beautiful Rose.

“Maybe we’ll forget. Maybe we’ll remember.” He said vaguely, “But it doesn’t matter, no matter what, no matter if I don’t remember telling you, I’ll always love you.”

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his face, giving it a small kiss. She nodded and he winked at her again.

Right, he could do this. The Doctor braced himself and forced his way through the crack in the wall, screaming as he pushed against an immense force until he suddenly vanished.

\-----

“Doctor, Doctor!”

The Doctor turned around to see himself, pushing through a crack of white light. Oh, that couldn’t be a good sign.

“I’m from your future. We haven’t got long to reset time!” He screamed as he threw something metal at him.

The other Doctor vanished. The grenade rolled across the floor to Rose. She picked it up.

“Rose, no!”

She yelped and threw it once more to the floor.

The Doctor catched the grenade as she dropped it.

Right at the side of the metal object, the phrase Big Friendly Button was etched. He smiled.

“Ah ha! Big friendly button.”

He hit it. 

\-----

Rose woke up sitting in front of her vanity. She was dressed in her blue dress and white sneakers. She remembered. She felt tired, exhausted, but she remembered.

The encounter with the Van Baalen Brothers, the salvage ship, the Center of the TARDIS. None of it ever happened. She was back in her room, like the day had never happened. But she remembered it!

She stood up and left her room.

She ran to the console room, the TARDIS was cheerful inside her head, she was alright! Her song had returned to normal, her golden presence intact, and her head no longer hurt. She laughed.

She arrived at the console room. The Doctor was there, hunched over the desktop.

He looked at her, she could see he was tired from the way his eyes hooded. 

“Rose! You ready? I was think–” He started, but she didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. It didn’t matter, not now.

She didn’t hesitate, she ran to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him with everything she had. He smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to him, lifting her up slightly. He remembered!

She pulled back slightly, the kiss wasn’t enough, she needed to tell him. He didn’t let go of her, but she was okay with that. Her shoes barely touched his from where she was hovering.

“I love you.” She said.

His eyes were soft, and if she were a romantic she would have said they were shining with love.

“You remember.” He said with a smile.

She nodded happily.

“I remember.” Rose smiled back. 

They laughed and he finally put her down on the floor.

“I feel exhausted!” Rose said.

“We’ve had two days crammed into the space of one.”

“How about we go to the library and watch some mind numbing telly?” She suggested.

“Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, all of your comments give me life, they really are the highlight of my day.
> 
> I always thought the Eleventh Doctor was really unstable in a sneaky kind of way, so I wanted to write that. With Ten we know he becomes really unstable after losing Rose, but we actually see it in lots of chapters, with Eleven feels more hidden, below the surface, so this chapter gave me everything I needed for that.
> 
> Also, you should check out my new one shot, I think that's the closest I'll ever get to do a full rewrite and I had so much fun writing it.
> 
> **UPDATES EVERY MONDAY**
> 
> Don't hesitate to reach out to me in any of my social media.
> 
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	11. Lovers and Madmen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,  
>  Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend  
> More than cool reason ever comprehends._
> 
> **–William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of research I did for this chapter is so stupid. That said, I did take a few liberties with all that research.

A dream, it all felt like a dream. 

The past few days since the whole TARDIS incident had felt like the most wonderful dream the Doctor had ever dared to imagine. For a day that had never actually happened, it was one of the best days of his lifes.

He was tinkering with the TARDIS, grounding himself in the mechanic actions that were connecting and disconnecting cables and odd ends. The cables were hanging above him in no order, his jacket discarded over the floor and his safety glasses perched on top of his head while he decided what to do next. He should probably reroute the phone, he had accidentally changed it when he was tinkering with the HADS to the one outside the ship and he hadn’t got around to change it. He played with the sonic in his hands, yeah, he should do that. He didn’t move, though.

Rose was bound to wake up soon. She had probably been asleep for eight hours by now, she’d wake up, have a shower and breakfast, that’d take her up to an hour or so. Not enough time to repair the phone, so maybe he shouldn’t even start. 

They had gone to a few places since the un-day, backwards in time, forwards in time, a few planets here and there, but he had been planning their next trip for a while now and he was anxious to go. He had even asked the TARDIS nicely to take them there.

He tightened his sonic in his hand and reconnected a cable he had forgotten its purpose. He had disconnected it just a few minutes ago, what for, he guessed it really didn’t matter.

Rose’s steps were the first thing he noticed, followed by the smell of tea. He quickly threw his safety glasses somewhere on the floor and grabbed his jacket, putting away his sonic in his pockets. He _walked fast_ (he wasn’t running) to the upper level to wait for Rose.

The Doctor saw her as she entered the console room with a cuppa in her hands and an almost awake face. She came close to him with a smile and kissed him in the mouth. She tasted like tea. 

Right, this was a thing now. A thing they did. He felt giddy.

“Morning.” Rose said.

“Morning.” He croaked out.

He went to scratch behind his ear nervously and did an aborted movement while trying to stop himself. He felt jittery, like he couldn’t deal with all the energy he had and he couldn’t control what his body did.

She laughed that lovely laugh of hers and he calmed a little. This was still new for him and still made him really nervous but he couldn’t help to smile in return.

She sipped her cup of tea, and he went and kissed her again. 

Wow. 

She smiled into the kiss as he finished it. He looked at his shoes and everywhere in the room. If he kept looking at her he would never get her to where he wanted to go. He looked at the rotor and leaned back on the panel as he spoke, he could see from the corner of his eye how much fun Rose was having with this.

“I was thinking of going to Bastet, small planet, not much to see, really, but it has a festival once a year to commemorate their Goddess.” He said.

He omitted that their Goddess was one of love and kindness, and that the festival was for couples mostly.

“Great! Should I change?” She motioned to the clothes she was wearing and he turned to look back at her once more.

He looked at his wristwatch, he really wanted to get going but then again.

“Well, there’s a traditional colour you could wear.” He answered.

\-----

The binary sun system was setting in the distance, creating a painting of pink and orange colours. The TARDIS materialized in the middle of a crowded marketplace, people around it looked nervously at the blue box that had appeared out of nowhere and two bizarre people got out of it. 

The Doctor and Rose left the ship with their usual flare. She was wearing a bright pink dress that hung loosely on her body, it was perfect for a summer weather, which the Doctor had the kindness to warn her about. Of course, she paired it with her pink converse, not a perfect fit, but certainly the comfiest.

As she looked around she noticed that they had arrived practically in the middle of the street, she nervously wondered if they were going to be chased out for witchery or maybe some kind of police would come and arrest them for parking there (it had happened once or twice or fifteen times), but when none of those happened she relaxed and started to enjoy the new planet. The place was full of people, all of them so different from the other. There were a few humans here and there and, as the Doctor was explaining beside her, the native people of the place looked humanoid with some kind of feline looking characteristics. Like lions, wasn’t there an old cartoon with people like that? 

Every woman was wearing bright vibrant pink, while the men wore red, there were also people wearing purple and blue. The clothing was beautiful, long robes in bright colours that were perfect for warm weather. Some were wearing gemstones in intricate jewelry that matched the colour of the clothing. The Doctor hadn’t changed, as per usual.

“The festival is known as the ‘feast of drunkenness’.” The Doctor said beside her but she really wasn’t paying attention.

There were orbs of light that weren’t connected to anything floating everywhere, shining a faint white light. The marketplace was lively, people screaming over each other trying to get the attention of the customers. There were ‘flowers’ of different kinds everywhere, alongside aromatic food that made her mouth water.

“This is amazing!” Rose exclaimed.

The Doctor looked at her with a smile that told her he was proud of his choice of place. 

“Bastians are a really peaceful race, their technology is not that advanced compared to others but because of their raw materials like metals and gemstones that are native to here they do exchange with neighboring planets.”

They walked and mingled in the crowd. Some stalls caught her attention more than others and she asked the Doctor if it was safe for her to eat. The moment he said it was okay she darted to the most aromatic food there was. It looked amazing.

Rose ate everything she could, until she felt a little bit sick from how full she was. The walking definitely helped.

Most people were couples, as far as she could see. There were no children on sight, probably in their homes, a good idea since it was a ‘feast of drunkenness’ and all that.

Over the noise of the people music could be heard from afar. The rhythm of drums and the melody of what sounded like a flute, could be a synthesizer since the combination of technology and traditions was really balanced.

The Doctor stopped, looking around him before turning to look at her.

“There’s a dance at the end of the day in the plaza. I have to buy something for the TARDIS first, won’t take long, I’ll see you there.” He said.

“Are you going to let me wander-off?” She asked with a skeptical eyebrow.

“Clearly a stupid idea, massively stupid. Hopefully I’ll see you there?”

She laughed.

“We’ll see.” she winked. 

\-----

The Doctor entered a lonely shop in the middle of an alley, it was well lit with three orbs floating inside the shop hovering around the showpieces. It probably had lots of customers usually but everyone was at the festival today so he was the only one inside. 

There were different necklaces, earrings and bracelets made from gemstones and metal hanging on the walls and some displayed on a crystal counter in the middle of the room. A jewelry shop. 

The owner entered from the back of the shop and greeted him with a formal greeting that he returned. 

“What may I help you with?” The owner asked.

Should he say he was looking for a present? Again he felt that jittery energy that made him want to run away from the shop and never to return. He stayed in place and approached the counter.

“I’m looking for Airtallium.” He said with a forced normalcy to his tone.

The owner looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he did his best not to make a face at them.

“A chain.”

With that the owner nodded with a smile and went to the back of the shop once more. 

The Doctor started pacing the shop, looking at the jewelry on the wall and then into the counter. He started touching the orbs that were floating around, poking them and trying to get them to the other side of the room. He was about to pull his sonic to see if he could program them to a different colour or to a different moving pattern when the owner came back with a black case. 

The owner put on a pair of white gloves and opened the case. Inside there were different types of chains, some long, some short, all of them in different styles, all in the same bright silver colour. 

The Doctor rubbed his hands against his trousers. This was a Big Deal. Capital letters and everything.

Rose wore a chain around her neck all the time that carried her TARDIS key. He wanted to give her something better than that, something some permanent. Something that she could carry with her at all times.

He finally pointed to one of the chains. It was medium size, not long enough to be uncomfortable or short enough for her to have to take her off every time she tried to open the ship.

The owner grabbed the chain with delicacy and put it inside a box.

Hopefully she’ll like it. 

\-----

There was a huge fire in the middle of the plaza illuminating everything with its orange light. People were dancing all around it, all dressed in their different traditional colours, all drinking. The thrum of the drums vibrated through his body, like the beating of his hearts. Once again, he rubbed his hands against his jacket. Not like he was sweating or anything, it would have to be something really impressive to make him break a sweat. But.

The Doctor walked through the crowd in the search of Rose. He knew it was a terrible idea to let her wander off like that, it never brought them anything good.

After a couple of minutes of dodging people and pushing his way through the dancing he found her. Rose was talking with some Bastians wearing bright blue clothing. He took a moment to look at her from the distance. She looked relaxed, like she was having a good time. She looked like she belonged there, travelling among the stars.

He finally approached her, grabbing her hand to get her attention. She startled a little but immediately relaxed as she turned around and recognized him.

“Hello.” He said.

“Hi!” She said with a beaming smile.

She wrapped her arms around him and he returned the hug automatically, picking her up. The Bastians took a look at him and left them hiding their smiles behind their hands. This time he did make a face at them, Rose wasn’t looking after all.

He finally put her down after a couple of more seconds.

“This place is great! I love it, thank you for this.” She said.

“Always, Rose Tyler.” He said. “Come on, I promised you a party.”

He pulled her towards the dancing crowd. She looked beautiful under the lights, the fire and the floating orbs reflecting in her eyes. Like she was shining.

They tried to dance to the rhythm of the music but neither of them actually knew how to dance to that. Still, she laughed and he took that as a win. After a while, she looked tired enough for him to suggest getting a drink. She nodded eagerly and they left the crowd to a much more secluded area.

“I got you something.” He said. 

“Really?” She asked.

He went to grab something from his pocket, the weight of the box suddenly infinitesimally heavier than what it had been when he bought it. He gripped at the box tightly and looked at his shoes. He had faced Daleks and Cybermen, he could definitely do this. He looked at Rose, he couldn’t do this. He pulled a small and long golden box from his pocket and showed it to her. 

He scratched the side of his nose and under his chin, thinking where to start. He could tell her the story of the metal and how it evolved to the jewelry she saw on people, or the implications in the culture, or the chemical components to the alloy. He took a deep breath.

Right. He could do this. 

Could he? 

“Bastians have this metal they use for their jewelry.” He didn’t know what to do with his free hand, hovering everywhere while the other held the most heavy box in existence. “The metal imprints to your DNA so the only one who can take it off is the first person that touches it.”

Rose was looking at him with wide eyes, as if she was trying to gauge the meaning of what he was saying. 

“You’re always wearing this chain around your neck, I thought maybe you’ll like something that won’t break.” He said.

This felt big, a promise he was making to her. He opened the box and showed her the chain.

“It doesn’t have a lock, it separates and reattaches itself. Just squeeze it between your fingers.”

She went to grab it but her hand hovered over the chain. She looked at the chain with misty eyes as she bit her bottom lip. Did she not like it? Was it the wrong one? Was it too much?

He was going to apologize, maybe he was taking things too fast but she started talking first.

“Will you do it? Put it on me, that is.” She said in a soft, small voice.

Oh. _Oh._

“Right!” He croaked out. “Yes!”

He grabbed with shaky hands the chain and they both put the TARDIS key on it. She turned around holding her hair up. Put it on her, right. Not a big deal. He put it on her. 

It was a mark, something _he_ had given to _her_.

She turned with the biggest smile ever and kissed him.

\-----

Rose woke up in her bedroom. 

It felt completely different than from the first time she woke up in the TARDIS when she came back. It was slow and familiar, the colours blending into focus and the lights adjusting as she woke up. She stretched inside her sheets and moaned out loud, the answering hum of the TARDIS making her more awake.

She opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. She hadn’t changed that many things in her room, mainly the closet and products, but it still felt like a different place than when she had woken up the first time. It felt more like hers, like home. She sat on the bed, pushing the sheets to the floor and her hand flew to her neck feeling the delicate material of the necklace. She smiled, still not really in control of her face.

The Doctor.

The metal of the chain and the weight of the key felt like a promise he was making to her. 

_‘How long are you going to stay with me?’_

_‘Forever.’_

They had been on a couple of dates now and she still felt like a schoolgirl going out with her crush. She felt giddy.

She threw herself onto the bed again, wanting to squeal out but only managing to put her hands on her face and roll over the sheets. She stopped and took a deep breath, trying and failing to get the smile out of her face.

She got out of bed and the shower started running. She had a quick shower, not really wanting to waste time.

As she sat on the vanity doing her makeup she saw her decorations all around the mirror, the ones that had been there ever since she was nineteen, when she met the Doctor and started to travel with him.

There were pictures of her and her Mum from before she had met the Doctor, of her and Mickey when they had dated, of her leather wearing Doctor being a grumpy face trying to avoid having his picture taken, of the two of them together, and then of her previous Doctor, the one she would marry, hugging her during their first Christmas. She had others of him but that had been her favourite. 

She grabbed the last picture. Her Doctor was wearing a paper crown just like her, her mum had taken the picture without them noticing and gave it to Rose as a present. She looked at the picture and then at the others pasted on the mirror, they held all of her memories from a lifetime ago. 

She looked at her hand, her ring shining beautifully. She rubbed at it slowly, liking the smooth feel of the metal.

She had been thinking over the past days about taking it off. This body wasn’t the one that had a bond with her husband. She had already lived that life and it was gone now. It was good and it was over. She felt her eyes prickle and she sniffed.

She rummaged through her cabinets until she found a lost jewelry box she had brought on the TARDIS a long time ago. She took her ring and saved it in a tiny velvet box inside it. 

It had been like letting go of something, moving on. 

The memories of the other universe will always be with her, but now she had a second chance at a new life with her new Doctor.

\-----

The Doctor took Rose dancing. 

This incarnation loved parties, she could see that. It seemed that one out of three of their travels was for a party.

She was dressed appropriately since the Doctor had the decency to warn her about the time they were going.

They arrived in a wet, lonely alley. Nothing stood much to her as she got out, a few bags of trash that had been left by the people living near, but there was noise coming from the main street and the sound of really loud cars, the type of cars that just weren’t that common anymore.

It was the afternoon, she could see the sun set, a purple and blue colour like it had finished raining and the sky was clearing out. The Doctor pulled her to the main street where they were greeted by noise and stressed people trying to get to their destinations.

“Paris, 1947!” He stuck out his tongue and then said, “Saturday!”

She snickered beside him and did her best to hide her laugh.

“The City of Love. Who knew you could be such a romantic?”

“I’ve taken you to sunsets on beaches on unpopulated planets and Paris is the thing that makes you realize I’m a romantic?”

She tried to bite off her smile but it was definitely funny to actually admit that. 

He took her to have dinner where she tried to eat the snails that were supposed to be popular and after her first try decided to order chips. The Doctor made fun of her but he didn’t eat the snails either so she gave him a pass.

She complained about the chips, too. Not because they were bad but she felt compelled to do so just because they weren’t british. They ate a decadent chocolate dessert so good that she was sure this was just an elaborate plan to make her fat. Still, she ordered a second one.

“How’re we gonna pay for this?” She asked.

“I called ahead! The owner owes me one.” He winked at her.

They left the restaurant and walked through busy streets until it was dark. The only ones outside were young people, getting ready to go party. She smiled, no matter when you were, humans were still the same.

The music from the restaurants and pubs leaked to the outside, attracting the crowd like moths to a flame. The Doctor didn’t even glance at those places, though, he just kept pulling her along until they reached a line of people in front of an enormous establishment with lights and private security and all that jazz.

She was dazzled by the lights but he pulled her up to the front of the row, people complaining as they passed.

“Right after the war, the nightclubs that were mostly for the rich people started to become available to the general public, a few here and there until they became widely spread. This is the beginning of that.” The Doctor said.

“So, you’re taking me to dance.” She said.

“That I am, Rose Tyler.” They finally reached the front and he started to rummage through his pockets, “ _Le Whiskey à Go-Go_. The first nightclub in modern history, just opened this year.”

Rose squealed excitedly beside him and hugged his arm.

“Come along.”

And with a little help from the psychic paper they were in.

The place was loud, there were lots of people dancing and drinking and laughing. It reminded Rose of the times she would go out with her friends when she was young. Of their endless drinking nights with Keisha, and clubbing with Shareen. Of karaoke and crowded pubs. She felt young, which, yeah, her body helped with that.

“This is one of the last times they’re going to have live music playing in this place, next year they’re changing to recorded music.” He said over the noise.

It was a combination of early rock and roll and jazz, perfect for dancing. They danced to Glenn Miller’s In The Mood again, and she was thrown back to their first dance ever. If she thought about it, maybe that had been the night where she had finally admitted she was in love with the Doctor.

This Doctor wasn’t a bad dancer per se but he sometimes had the most ridiculous dance moves and it made her laugh so much she had to sit down until she calmed down.

They spent the night in each other’s arms until the music started to change to slow, romantic ballads. There weren’t as many people as there were at the beginning, but it gave them more room and less noise to talk.

The lighting changed at some point, a light pink colour illuminating the room, but neither of them noticed it. It was soft and not really the atmosphere she would associate with clubbing but it was perfect. [The song that was playing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0KvBnIvTFs) was a really popular one, even Rose knew it from her own time but she couldn’t place the name, maybe because it was in french and she thought she may have heard it in english.

“Why are you doin’ all of this?” She asked.

“What do you mean?”

“The dates! You don’t have to win me over.” Not that she was complaining about it, or anything.

“Ah! But you’re worth it.”

She smiled and her face hurt, who knew too much smiling could hurt you.

She lay her head on his shoulder and he held her close.

It was the most romantic night ever, who knew the 40’s could be so fun?

\-----

The Doctor was already energetically dancing around the console when Rose arrived. She looked tired and still a little bit sleepy but he guessed it was normal for a human to be tired from all the places they had been in the past days.

The groaning of the TARDIS landing took him out of his head. He went to her side and pulled her to the doors. 

“Come on! I put her on random.” He said.

“Right, like that never brings us trouble.” She teased. 

“Never ever.” He winked.

He opened the door and they stepped outside. 

“We’re back in London!” Rose said surprised.

“That we are.”

He was surprised, too. He frowned at the blue box behind them, was there a reason they were here?

“When are we?” Rose asked.

He checked his watch.

“2013. A couple of months after you came back to this universe, actually.” Again, he frowned.

“That’s so weird.” She said.

It was.

She looked around but she could see she was thinking about something else.

“We should get some chips, real chips. Good chips. You promised me chips.”

He agreed and they started walking. They were close to the Estate, he noticed. Rose must have too because she insisted on going to her favourite chippie.

They entered the small place. It looked exactly the same. Same tables, same wore down chairs, same smell of chips. They ordered and sat down.

He could see that whatever she had been thinking when they left the TARDIS was still in her mind and when after a couple of minutes eating in silence she started to talk he wasn’t at all surprised.

“How long has it actually been since I arrived in this universe?” She asked.

So that’s what that was.

“Five months, ten days, and 14 hours. I can tell you the minutes if you want.” He answered quickly.

She shook her head. “No!” She croaked out a little bit too loudly, “It’s fine!”

He saw her blush slightly and stuff another chip in her mouth. She chewed slowly and swallowed, looking at her food instead of him.

“You keep track.” She said.

“I keep track.” He said.

He preened a little and she rolled her eyes at him.

They stayed in the chippie talking, the Doctor stealing her chips from time to time.

A normal day all in all. That is, until they heard an explosion right outside the shop. They looked at each other and smiled.

They went outside running and saw a cloud of smoke coming from a warehouse at the end of the street.

“Never a dull day with you.” She commented beside him.

“Yes, but you love it.”

She smiled at him.

“That I do.”

They approached the explosion site with no caution at all. He noticed that there were black vans in the site, and a couple of soldiers surrounded the building. Huh, now he wasn’t expecting that.

Out of the thick of the smoke came a blonde tall woman.

“Doctor.” She greeted them with a smile. “Why does it not surprise me that you’re always near when there’s trouble.”

“Kate Stewart, it seems like you have everything in order.” He said.

In front of him, Kate was in full no-nonsense mode, dressed to impress, a tablet in one of her hands and a communication device in the other.

“And without your help, may I add.” She said distractedly as she checked something on the tablet.

He was going to say something else when a soldier clad in a black armour approached them.

He took out his helmet and Rose gasped beside him.

In front of them stood Mickey Smith.

“Ma’am, everything’s in order, we’re ready to move.” He said, still not noticing them standing there.

“Excellent.” Kate answered with an easy tone, she was in a good mood apparently.

“Mickey?” Rose said, her eyes were wide and unmoving.

Mickey turned around with wide eyes and saw her.

“Rose?” He looked at the Doctor and frowned, “Doctor?”

Kate looked at Rose for the first time with shocked eyes.

“Wait, Rose Tyler?” Kate frowned.

\-----

Rose and Mickey separated from whatever the Doctor was talking about with the blonde woman, Kate he had said she was called.

She was still shocked from seeing him there, standing right in front of her. He looked a little bit older, some laughing lines around his eyes and mouth, he now had a scar on his left eyebrow and one below his chin. He wasn’t clean shaved as she remembered him, but had a light beard that made him look even more handsome than in her memories. He was frowning slightly, like when he didn’t know how to deal with something so he just shut up and waited for something to happen. His eyes were moving over her and the floor, as if he didn’t know where to look and his hands were opening and closing.

She smiled, it had been so long since she had seen him and everything he was doing was just so _Mickey_. He hadn’t said anything yet but Rose couldn’t contain herself anymore.

“You look great!” She said happily and went to hug him.

Mickey returned the hug immediately. He felt so solid, this was real. She laughed and he gave a disbelieving chuckle that vibrated through his body.

She separated from him and looked at his face, he was now smiling and looked more relaxed which really helped to get her talking.

“Heard you got married, look at you, special agent and family man.” She said.

“Yeah, if you had told me back then I wouldn’t have believed you.” He said.

The smile slipped off his face and Rose tensed.

“I thought you were dead.”

Rose nodded and looked at her shoes. She started to pick at her fingernails, thinking on what to say. She was wearing her pink converse again, they were getting dirty, she should probably wash them soon. Or ask the TARDIS.

Mickey didn’t wait for her to answer, though.

“The Doctor appeared out of nowhere in one of our missions, he helped us. But you weren’t there. I thought, something must have happened to her.”

“I’m sorry.” She said softly.

He gave her a deprecating smile, one that she knew so well. Like he didn’t know how to smile anymore so he tried to imitate how it would look.

“Yeah. And here’s something interesting. Last time I saw you, you looked older.”

She bit the inside of her lip, thinking on how to explain, well, everything.

“It’s complicated.” She finally answered.

“Is it?” He narrowed his eyes at her.

She nodded.

“More than you can imagine.”

Mickey nodded. They were now both looking at the floor until Mickey put his hands in his pockets and did a gesture with his head to where the Doctor and Kate were talking, effectively changing the subject.

“He changed his face again.” He said.

She nodded and brought a thumb to her teeth looking to where the Doctor was.

“Yeah, a couple of centuries ago.”

“Centuries?” He asked, “What the hell happened after we left?”

He was frowning. She was thinking, what could she tell him that could actually make sense?

The Doctor approached them in that moment, interrupting whatever the hell Rose had been trying to invent in her head.

“Mickey Smith, fancy meeting you here. Wondered when I would run into you.” He said in a nonchalant tone.

“Doctor.” Mickey said as a greeting with a barely there smile. “I see the new face, don’t know if it’s better than the last. Last time wasn’t young enough?”

“Yes, well, I don’t get a choice when I regenerate.” the Doctor answered with a frown like he had been insulted. “How’s Martha?” He changed the subject.

This Doctor could do that so easily, avoidance.

“Good, back in headquarters, if you want to say hello.” Mickey said.

“Ah! I was just about to say. Rose, they need us back there, a few questions that would be easier to answer with a genius at hand.”

“Right, humble much.” Mickey said under his breath. 

“Come along, Rose. We’ll take the TARDIS.” He took her hand but she only gripped it tightly and stayed in her place.

She looked at Mickey and then at the Doctor.

“Actually, Doctor. Do you mind if I ride with Mickey?” She said.

The Doctor looked taken aback.

“It’s just, we haven’t seen each other in a long time.” She said as an explanation. 

“Right. Of course.” He said, “See you there?”

She nodded and smiled.

“Not if I see you first.”

The Doctor smiled softly and turned around to the TARDIS.

She was taken to U.N.I.T.’s headquarters in one of the black vans along with Mickey, some soldier explaining beside her what had happened, apparently they needed help to return the alien they had found to their planet.

They arrived at the Tower of London, which surprised Rose a lot.

“They changed headquarters a few years ago.” Mickey said beside her, reading her mind.

They entered the building and entered a normal looking lift. Mikey entered a code on a pad and a monitor opened where his eye was scanned and they started to descend. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Humble much?”

He only coughed and looked in front of him.

They arrived at what looked like a lab. White walls, well illuminated work spaces and technology all of the sci-fi movies out there could only dream of. This was clearly R&D.

It reminded her so much of Torchwood it was nostalgic in a strange kind of way.

“Look at this place!” She said, begrudgingly surprised.

“Yeah, state of the art equipment and all the information you need right at the tip of your fingers.” Mickey said, clearly gloating.

Kate was already there waiting for them. Rose tensed a little bit.

“Rose Tyler.” She greeted her. “I’m amazed by you being here, especially since I know you’re supposed to be trapped in a parallel dimension.”

How did she know that? Was she trying to question her right now. Rose stood with her back straight and looked at Kate right at the eye, she wasn’t about to be intimidated by someone younger than her.

“Stuff happened, now I’m back.” She said with a tight smile.

Kate nodded, still looking at her with a stern look but Rose didn’t waver. Kate was the first to look away and Rose took that as a win.

Mickey pulled out his cellphone beside her.

“Hey babes, I’m down in R&D. There’s some people you might want to say hi.” He said.

There was a pause and then he said ‘you too’ and hung up.

“Was that Martha?” She said in a teasing tone.

“Yeah.” He smiled.

That smile took years out of his face and suddenly she was staring at the Mickey she had known, the one she had dated.

“I’m really happy for you.” She said.

“Thanks.” Mickey said with a bashful smile. “What about you and the Doctor?” He said as he pointed at the ceiling and did circles with his finger.

Her hand went to the chain as if it was instinct.

“Like I said, it’s complicated.” She rubbed her earring and turned to look away.

“Must be. Last I saw you I thought you were on the same path.”

“Yeah, well.”

He motioned to an unoccupied bench in the far wall. They sat while they waited.

“So!” He said.

Rose looked at him with a glare.

“A’ight!” She said annoyed and sighed. “Um, well. So, the Doctor left me, my Mum and the other Doctor in the other Universe where I married him and grew old and had a life and then I died there and woke up here in a young body.”

Mickey looked at her with wide eyes.

“Right.” He nodded.

“Yeah.”

“So that makes you, how old exactly?”

“87.”

The sound of the materializing TARDIS interrupted them.

The Doctor peeked outside and saw Rose.

“There you are, knew she would find you.” He said and Rose smiled at him.

At the same moment the lab doors opened and Martha came into the room. She looked at the TARDIS with wide eyes and opened mouth.

“Oh my God.” She said. “He’s here.”

“Martha Jones!” The Doctor said excitedly.

Martha jumped back from him.

“Who are you?”

“He’s the Doctor.” Said Mickey.

“I’m the Doctor.” Answered the Doctor.

“What? No he’s not, the Doctor looks nothing like him.” Martha said with a frown.

“He changed his face again.” Mickey explained.

“Again?” She said incredulously.

This time it was Mickey’s turn to glare at the Doctor.

“Wait, you didn’t tell her?” He said, clearly mad at him.

“Well, I didn’t tell you and Rose either, you just sort of, stumbled into it.”

Mickey shook his head, as if tired with the Doctor’s antics already. That’s when Martha noticed Rose.

“You’re alive.”

\-----

Martha had been having a normal day. As normal while you worked in the government protecting the Earth from aliens could be.

When she received Mickey’s call she had been curious, she never got visitors at work, and she could count the few people who knew about her work with one hand. 

As she entered R&D she was faced with a blue box in the middle of the room, and was reminded of a life so different, of impossible travels across the stars and a mad man in a box. The TARDIS was here, right in U.N.I.T., which meant the Doctor was here somewhere too.

After the shock of seeing the ship and seeing Rose alive and well, the questions came.

The young man standing in front of her was not like the Doctor she had known.

“Come on, Martha Jones. You know me.” He said with a flare.

She frowned. Mickey had said it was the Doctor and Rose was right there saying the same thing but it still seemed completely ridiculous for him to just change his face.

“How can I be sure you’re the Doctor?” She asked, glaring at the man.

He did a motion with his head.

“How about a look in the box?” He snapped his fingers and the doors opened.

She didn’t want to admit to being surprised so she bit her lip and tried her best not to stare with her mouth open. She looked at the TARDIS. There it stood, the same blue box from her past. She did an aborted movement, like she wanted to run to the ship and at the same stay right where she stood.

The man smiled and walked to the box, leaving the door open for her. She followed.

Martha looked around. It had changed. It looked nothing like when she had travelled with the Doctor, but the humming, the light smell of coral, oxygen and something else she still couldn’t name, and the light in the middle of the room was the same. This time she did nothing to avoid opening her mouth in wonder.

Martha looked at the console and at the mad leaning against it. Everything looked more technological, the colours were more subdued, the jumpseat had disappeared. Nothing was familiar.

She approached the man that said he was the Doctor cautiously.

“How can I be sure, though? That you’re the Doctor?” She crossed her arms in front of him and dared him to prove his identity.

She raised an eyebrow and he beamed at her.

“Martha Jones, the woman who walked the Earth.” He said fondly. 

He raised a finger and went to search somewhere below (since when there was a below deck?). He came back with a mobile, her mobile, the one she had left behind when she left. 

“Oh my God.” 

“Is that enough proof?”

She looked into his eyes and thought that she found something familiar in all of the change. 

“What happened?” She asked. 

She wasn’t prepared for this. She had thought of everything but actually meeting again had been so laughable that she had discarded the idea immediately. And now here he was, standing in front of her. Her mind was spinning.

“I thought, well, I’m not really sure what I thought, that maybe you were leaving and you weren’t coming back.” She said.

“Sorry about that, I wasn’t in a great state of mind back then.” He said, looking at the floor.

She looked at him, really looked. This man was different, so much more different. His appearance, his voice, his style, the way he talked, the way he moved and even when he looked young, much younger than the other body he had, he felt like an old man.

“We thought, I mean, Mickey and me, we thought that maybe something had happened to _her_.”

He looked at her when she said this. There was a storm brewing in his eyes, dark cold. It sent shivers to her spine.

“But she’s here and she’s alive.” She said quickly and whatever that had been there was gone in a second. 

He nodded and gave her an easy smile. She was a little taken aback, the other Doctor had worn his hearts on his sleeve, this one felt like he was running away.

The door of the TARDIS opened and Rose called out to him. 

“Doctor, they’re asking for you.”

“Coming right up.” He answered, his mood better now.

“I’m glad.” She said and wasn’t surprised that she actually meant it, “That you have her.”

“Sometimes the Universe makes bargains.” He said cryptically.

\-----

They spent the afternoon in the research lab, the Doctor pointing out how everything the scientists were doing was wrong and Rose talking to Mickey and Martha. She traded her contact info with them, she had kept the stolen phone from when she had arrived (formatted and now with some sonic magic from the Doctor) and now she was getting some use of it.

When the day ended, the Doctor and Rose said their goodbyes

Rose hugged Mickey tightly. 

“I’ll miss you!” She said into his shoulder.

“Take care.” Mickey said as he released her.

She nodded.

“Don’t worry,” The Doctor said, “I’ll bring her for a visit whenever she asks.”

She turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow that said ‘really?’ but he didn’t say anything else.

“You better.” Mickey said as he shook the Doctor’s hand. “Doctor.”

Martha came to Mickey’s side and grabbed his hand. 

“Be careful out there, Doctor.” She said. 

“I’m always careful.” He answered.

They retired to the TARDIS and the Doctor sent them to the Vortex, leaving behind their friends. Rose stood there, in the console room, looking at the rotor move up and down, the groaning marking the moment they had left.

The Doctor was looking at the monitor. She approached him cautiously, like you would with a wounded animal. 

“That was fun.” She said casually.

“Seeing old friends is always fun.” He said.

She nodded and kept walking until she was right beside him. 

“Right, so I was thinking, you know, that we could go and see Sarah Jane.” Better throw the idea out there, right now while all of this was still fresh.

He didn’t say anything but he also didn’t look as wary as she thought he would. She knew how she felt about visiting old friends.

“She was your friend, too.” She added.

The Doctor nodded. 

“Why not? Would be fun to see her again.” He answered.

\-----

Sarah Jane was having a normal morning. The smell of fresh brewed tea surrounded the kitchen, she had her laptop open on the table ready to start the day and was finishing putting butter on her toast. She put her plate beside her laptop and took a sip from her mug, the tea instantly making the morning better.

That is, until she heard the groaning of the TARDIS. She almost spilled her tea all over her laptop from the surprise, K-9 coming into the room.

‘The TARDIS seems to be appearing in the garden, Mistress.’ like she hadn’t heard that cursed groaning.

She left the mug back on the table– this time making sure she didn’t spill anything– and went to the garden running. 

And there it was. That damned blue box, in her garden, over her gardenias, on one of her rare free Friday mornings. She could feel excitement running through her veins. Oh, how she hated that man. 

The Doctor came out of the ship in all of his bizarre glory, he hadn’t changed from the last time she had seen him, but his clothes were different. But he was still the Doctor.

“Doctor!” She said as she ran to him.

“Sarah Jane Smith!” He said happily.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him. 

She separated as he started to return her hug.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Why are you here?” She asked rapidly.

If there was trouble she needed to know. She couldn’t just go around gallivanting across the galaxy now, she had responsibilities here on Earth.

“Can’t an old friend come and say hi?” He said in a mock hurt voice.

She rolled her eyes at him and then looked at him pointedly.

“But you don’t do that.” She said.

He scratched his ear. That was weird. Was he… nervous?

“Yeah, that’s true. But she does.” He said with a motion of his head to the TARDIS.

Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow and looked behind him. 

The police box door opened and Rose came out. Sarah stared at her with wide eyes, she smiled and ran to her. 

“Sarah Jane!”

“Rose! You’re here!” She said happily.

She hugged the girl with all of her strength.

They went inside and Sarah made herself busy making tea, the mechanic motions gave her something to focus on and not on the bizarre fact that the Doctor was visiting her, a _past_ companion, just because! Rose had wanted to help, and the Doctor had wanted to hover around but she shooed them to the living room, needing a bit of space.

She wanted to ask about everything but, well, travelling with the Doctor everything becomes complicated. How long had it been for them? Probably much longer than what it had been for her.

She served a tray and brought it to the living room.

“I’m surprised to see you again.” She said honestly as she served the tea. “How do you drink it now, Doctor?”

“8 sugars, thanks.”

Sarah and Rose did a muck of disgust and then looked at each other and laughed. That was enough for the both of them to start making fun of the Doctor’s new habits and how much he had changed and how much he still was the same man, which led to him sulking the rest of the visit. It was so refreshing, seeing the Doctor without the threat of an alien invasion, and Rose looked happy and healthy.

“You don’t do this kind of visits though, Doctor.” Sarah said.

“Yeah, well, Rose wanted to see how you were and I must admit, it isn’t bad to catch up on friends.”

He smiled and she smiled in return.

“No, it isn’t.” She said, “Hopefully Rose will make you come more often.”

“We’ll try.” He said quickly, clearly not wanting to promise anything.

Rose excused herself after a few minutes, saying she had something for Sarah in the TARDIS leaving Sarah and the Doctor behind.

“What happened to your other companions?” She asked, “The ones that were travelling part time with you.”

The Doctor went still.

Oh.

“I’m sorry.”

He nodded.

She looked at the mug in her hands and then at the Doctor.

“At least you have Rose back.” She said as she pointed to the ship outside.

He looked behind him and nodded. “That I do.”

“You look happy, well, happier.”

The Doctor avoided saying anything by taking a sip of his tea. Sarah wrinkled her nose, that was way too much sugar in just one tiny cup.

“I’m going to make Rose come by monthly at least.” She said.

He gave her a pleading look that she ignored easily with a smile.

“And I expect you to come for Christmas dinner. I will not take no for an answer.” She laughed as Rose was coming to the room. “So glad you’re back, Rose.”

Rose raised an eyebrow but was still smiling.

“You’ll have to fill me in on this.”

\-----

The Doctor and Rose spent the rest of the morning with Sara Jane until the Doctor managed to make an excuse for wanting to take Rose to lunch on the third moon of Tau 52 and that he was starving. Both of the women just rolled their eyes but Rose did get up and exchanged her contact info and promised Sarah Jane to visit.

They returned to the TARDIS and he sent them to the Vortex. They could eat lunch on the ship.

Rose rolled her eyes with a knowing smile but came to his side easily. She hugged his arm and rested her forehead on his shoulder.

“That was nice, right?” She said.

“It was.”

“I promised Christmas dinner at Sarah’s.”

He nodded.

“And Boxing Day at Mickey’s.”

He rolled his eyes and she just laughed.

“Aren’t there any other friends you would like to see, Doctor?” She asked.

He thought of Vastra and Jenny and Strax. They had been kind to him when he didn’t deserve it. Maybe he should pay them a visit.

“Maybe.” He answered airly.

She raised her head to look at him. She gave him a tongue touched smile and her eyes were twinkling, clearly enjoying this whole thing. He wanted to wipe that teasing smile of her face. So he did.

He kissed her and she stopped smiling. Her lips were soft and pliant under his and tasted like morning tea. sHe opened her mouth slightly and he took the advantage to dive his tongue into her mouth to get more of that taste. He raised a hand to her neck to adjust her a little to the left. Her pulse was racing under his hand and he wondered if his was too.

It was intoxicating, having her so near him like this. He was so lost in the sensations that he barely noticed the pull that was against his mind until it was solidly reaching at him. He pulled back with a sharp breath.

The teasing of a marriage bond.

Rose’s eyes were wide.

“I didn’t mean–” She started saying.

“It’s okay, that wasn’t–” He said at the same time.

They both stood silently and Rose took a step back while looking everywhere but him. He didn’t like that so he grabbed her hand, he didn’t pull her to him but he didn’t let her get much farther away.

“Right.” He scratched under his ear, “That is a thing, definitely a thing. A thing that can happen.”

“I didn’t think–”

“I know you weren’t.”

Rose was playing with her earring and looking at the other side of the room. Still he didn’t let go of her hand.

“Who knows, maybe one day–” She started saying.

“We’ll see.” He panicked, okay? He didn’t know how to deal with any of that and he panicked.

She nodded and looked at the floor.

“I promised you lunch at the third moon of Tau 52, great food, worst desserts in the universe.”

Rose nodded, “Right.”

Still, he didn’t let go of her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I was about to upload the Crimson Horror chapter and while I was spell checking I thought it was way to fast to jump from Journey to Crimson and I thought _you know what would be a great idea??! a pacing chapter!!_ and I thought, it's just pacing, it can be really short and have no plot at all, **but no** I _had_ to go and make an 8k chapter with actual plot and actual research. Like holy shit, I thought I would write 5k tops. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!
> 
> Anyway, thank you for all your comments, they really give me life!
> 
> **UPDATES EVERY MONDAY**
> 
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	12. The Crimson Horror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Forever Roses** _(noun)_
> 
> 1\. Preserved roses or real roses that are conserved and treated in a way to lasts for years goes by many names such as eternal roses, eternity roses, forever roses , infinity rose or preserved roses etc.

The lights twinkled around the room, the rotor moved up and down in a slow manner, and the names on top circled lazily with a metallic sound. The background humming was the happier he had heard in a long time, the buttons on the console randomly turning their lights on and off as if trying to get him to push on or all of them.

The Doctor was doing his usual dance around the console, Rose laughing from the other side of the room (something he must have said, something witty).

He never thought he would have this back again, his Rose laughing and teasing and flirting like it hadn’t been centuries since he saw her, like they didn’t have a care in the universe. He changed the direction of his walk and catched Rose on the other side with a hug and a spin, she laughed delightedly. He loved that sound.

He bent down and kissed her deeply, just because. He could do that now, it was allowed, how was any of this real? He was still wary about losing himself in the moment. Ever since that teasing of a bond that had graced his mind a couple of weeks ago, he started to take care of shielding his mind carefully whenever he kissed her. He didn’t think Rose noticed at all, but the TARDIS did and sent him the equivalent of a glare in his direction.

Ever since their visits to his past companions, the Doctor had been playing with the idea of going to say hello to Vastra and the others. They had been kind to him when he didn’t deserve it, he should at least pay them a visit once in a while. Still, it took a while to convince himself– Rose would never say no to meeting new people.

“I know where we’re going next.” He said confidently as he put her back down on the floor. “Go change.”

Her eyes sparkled instantly the moment he uttered those last words and her smile widened, he knew she loved playing dress up.

“Go on.” He said. “The TARDIS will tell you what to wear.”

She jumped excitedly on her spot and then left the console room running.

He would try for London, 1893, and he’ll see how it goes. A little bit after the last time he saw them, to maintain the timelines and what not. It was also a great excuse to not change his own clothing style (not like he ever did, with a few exceptions here and there). But, how would he explain Rose’s presence to them, when he barely understood it himself? Well, he guessed he would cross that bridge when the time came, with his record they would end up a decade after if he wasn’t careful.

He heard Rose’s steps before he saw her, her voice carrying through the room. “From the clothes the TARDIS showed me, we are going to the Victorian era.”

“That would be correct, Miss Tyler.” He turned around and saw her there, standing in a period dress (TARDIS blue, again) that looked wonderful on her. “You look beautiful.”

Her hair was in a simple up-do, no hats or earrings. She raised her skirt a little showing that instead of era appropriate shoes, she was wearing a pair of brown boots. She winked. “In case running is necessary, which it always is.” She smiled at him and cheekily said. “And you didn’t change.” 

“I did! I’m wearing my maroon suit.” He said as he pulled the lever.

The groaning of the ship filled the room, and Rose came to stand by his side, the rotor stopped moving finally, meaning they had arrived at their destination.

“Let’s go!” He pulled her towards the doors, opening them with a snap of his fingers.

She rolled her eyes at him.

The Doctor stepped out first, followed closely by Rose. 

They had arrived at an empty alley, it was wet and the sky looked grey and gloomy. All in all, definitely England, he should give himself a pat on the back. He smelled the air. Huh.

“Okay, so. Not London 1893. Yorkshire 1893.” He scratched his head, “Near enough.” He shrugged and Rose looked at him amusingly.

“Well, you  _ are _ getting better at driving this ship.” Rose teased.

He came close to her and passed an arm over her shoulders.

“You have to admit, though. It’s much better than it used to be. Ooo, I once spent a hell of a long time trying to get a gobby Australian to Heathrow Airport.”

“‘Course you did.” Again, she rolled her eyes.

He pouted at her and she giggled. He crowded her towards the TARDIS and dipped for a kiss but a scream interrupted them.

Their heads both snapped toward the direction of the sound. They looked at each other with huge smiles. 

“Come along, Rose.” He grabbed her hand and they ran.

\-----

Jenny was preparing Vastra’s refreshment to take to the greenhouse where she was most likely debating taking her new investigation further. For the past couple of weeks a series of bodies tinted in red had started to appear near Yorkshire and it had immediately caught Vastra’s attention. She started to read every paper, waiting for an update on the case and even hoped against all odds that one of the bodies would appear near London, since Jenny didn’t want to go to Yorkshire. She was like an excited kid on Christmas Day.

She also made a tray with tea cakes and sandwiches, Lizzie was bound to get hungry soon. She didn’t make the tea because Lizzie always insisted on making it herself.

“Rose taught me.” She had said once, and Jenny had relented. It was never a bad cup of tea, quite the contrary, and if Lizzie felt more connected to the girl that had been her family before them then Jenny could live with not making Lizzie tea.

Jenny sighed, Lizzie was having a hard time at school since she hadn’t gone before she came into their care. They spent two hours most days studying, trying to make up for the time she had missed. Jenny’s education wasn’t the best before Madame Vastra had arrived into her life but between the both of them they covered most of the subjects. While Vastra taught her science and maths, Jenny spent her time teaching her literature and propriety rules. Seeing Vastra with the little girl always gave her a sentiment of family and belonging so strong she thought she could fly away with it.

Strax had insisted on teaching Lizzie how to handle guns and Vastra had also been in favour of the motion. Jenny had put her foot down on that, no weapons until she was older. Both of the aliens gave good points but she was adamant that a child shouldn’t be handling weapons. She coincided on teaching her self defense, and the aliens agreed to it.

Jenny was finishing the beverage when Lizzie came running into the kitchen.

“How many times have I told you not to run in the kitchen?” Jenny chastised her, but Lizzie gave her a small smile and a sorry that told her how not sorry she actually was.

Jenny rolled her eyes. The beginning had been really hard on Lizzie, what with having her family death and then having to get used to the idea of lizards from the prehistoric age and aliens existing. The first couple weeks Lizzie had cried herself to sleep, Jenny could hear her when she went to check on her in the night. The next month she barely spoke at all. But little by little they got her out of her shell. If you compared the girl that came to live with them 7 months ago and the girl she was now you wouldn’t recognize her. She had never imagined herself as a mother, but here she was, married and with a ten year old daughter. 

She took the tray to the greenhouse and found Vastra looking at a newspaper with the most recent death of the Crimson Horror.

Vastra looked from the paper to her and smiled widely at her.

“This case sounds like the most interesting thing that has happened in months.”

Jenny smiled, of course she was excited about that.

“It’s in Yorkshire.” Jenny said, not really wanting to complain but also not liking the idea of leaving town. 

They usually never took cases outside London. Vastra rolled her eyes.

“I know that, but I could be persuaded.”

It was a couple of days after when Mr. Thursday came in with information about the case and a picture of the Doctor that had been taken from a dead man’s eye. It seemed absurd, how was that even possible? They hadn’t been convinced by the picture in itself, so they had run to their own red room to enlarge the image and maybe get some answers.

It was as clear as possible, somehow the Doctor was involved with the Crimson Horror deaths and he was in trouble. In the dark room, only illuminated by the red light, Jenny and Vastra stood looking at the picture.

“Well, I’ll be blowed. I think, Vastra, that we’d better make plans to head north.” Jenny sighed.

This was a terrible idea, they had Lizzie now, they couldn’t just leave her by herself nor take her with them on a case. She turned to Vastra, her face stern and decided, and raised a pointed finger to her face.

“We are NOT taking Lizzie with us.” She ordered her wife. “So we better search for a governess before leaving town.”

And with that she left the room.

\-----

Lizzie was sitting in the library, a book open in front of her and her head plastered to the table. She was bored, she hated studying. It was fine if Jenny or Madame Vastra were with her, they would always explain when she had trouble, and they were patient and nice and they never made her feel stupid, not like her teachers at school that always made her feel like she had done something wrong. But when she was studying by herself, the task dragged on and became endless.

She didn’t try and escape, she had learnt her lesson the first couple of times. She now knew that at the door would be Strax waiting for her, and even if she tried to escape through a window, he would find her within the hour and bring her back to the Library. She groaned loudly, hoping that maybe her loud complaining would get her out of the torture that was studying alone. At least she had tea.

She heard the door open and immediately stood straight in her chair. Madame Vastra entered the room with Jenny trailing behind her. Uh-oh. Did they find out about the plant pot she had broken last week? She was sure she had hidden it perfectly, they didn’t look angry so maybe they didn’t know. 

“I’m not distracted, I was just–” She started to say.

“Don’t worry, Lizzie.” Madame Vastra answered.

Madame Vastra made a gesture, and she and Jenny came to sit next to Lizzie.

Lizzie frowned.

“Lizzie,” Madame Vastra started, “we have taken a new case today.”

“A’right?” Lizzie answered, her frown deepening.

They took new cases every week, she knew that.

“We’re going out of town, hopefully it will only take a few days. In the meantime, you’re to stay here. We hired a governess to look out for you.” Madame Vastra said.

_ What? _

“You’re leaving me behind?”

Jenny grabbed Lizzie’s hand. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Lizzie freed her hand and stood up.

“No! Why can’t I go?” She didn’t scream, but she was mad and did raise her voice a bit. 

They were leaving her all by herself. What if… 

“It could be dangerous. We can’t take you with us.” Madame Vastra’s voice was firm, leaving no place to argue.

Lizzie looked at her and then ran out of the room. They were going to leave her in this big house all alone. Something could happen. What if they didn’t return? 

Just like Justice.

Just like Rose.

She ran to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. Her bedroom was big, bigger than any house she had lived in her entire life, she had a fireplace and a breakfast table, and a big bed with pillows, and rugs and a wardrobe full of new clothes for every weather, and she lived like a princess in a book now. And for the first time in months the room felt too big, too empty, the rugs and the blankets didn’t look as colourful as before, she felt abandoned and she missed her brother and Rose so much. She felt her eyes prickle but held her tears back until she hid inside the wardrobe and she was surrounded by darkness.

She knew that the job the Madame and Jenny had was dangerous, but they never left London and they did it mainly from the garden. She had never thought they would leave her behind for a case. Even Strax was going, and he was the strongest person she knew, but what if.

She stayed inside the wardrobe for hours.

She heard a knock on the door but she ignored it, wrapping her arms tighter around her legs and hiding her face on her knees. She did her best to not make a sound, holding back the sobs that were threatening to escape her throat. The door opened, and she heard a tray being placed on her table.

“You missed supper.” A voice said. 

It was Jenny.

Jenny moved around her room, Lizzie could hear her picking up toys and pillows that were scattered everywhere and placing them in their rightful place, until she finally opened the wardrobe door. She didn’t pull her out or anything, instead she moved the clothes a little and sat in front of her.

“Lizzie, I know you’re scared.” Jenny said softly, “But I promise you, we’ll never abandon you.”

Lizzie stayed a couple of minutes more with her face hidden and then slowly turned to look at Jenny. The light hurt her eyes a little but she rubbed them with her hand, cleaning her face from snot and tears, and looked at Jenny.

“You promise?” Lizzie asked.

Jenny smiled at her.

“I promise.”

Lizzie moved and went to hug Jenny tightly. She stayed like that until her stomach grumbled, they laughed.

\-----

Lizzie waved them goodbye from the entrance of the house as their coach started to move, the governess right beside her with a stern face. Jenny felt a pang, this was the first time they left her behind in the house and she was still ill at ease about the fact.

“She’ll be fine,” Vastra said beside her, “she’s a strong child.”

“Of course she is.” Jenny said as she turned to look at her wife.

Still, it didn’t make it any easier.

They took the train and arrived in Yorkshire at night. They didn’t waste time and started their research right away. Their investigation led them to Sweetville, an ideal community. A factory with two rows of terraced homes, its own chapel and bandstand and gardens. And it only allowed the healthiest, most beautiful people in.

Since she was the only human in the Paternoster Gang (as Lizzie had lovingly dubbed them), the task of research and infiltration in Sweetville fell on her shoulders. While Strax and Vastra investigated the outside, she would do the inside work. How were they supposed to save the Doctor when they hadn’t even known he was in this era, it was beyond her but it was true they couldn’t leave their friend behind. She sighed, they were only making assumptions based from a picture. They had made assumptions from even less before this.

The next day she attended a talk in the Chapel of Sweetville. Mrs. Winifred Gillyflower gave an extensive talk about the End of Times and how only the chosen ones would be saved and if they wanted salvation they only needed to come to Sweetville. Of course, she signed with a fake name and entered the factory.

The people were divided by groups before entering. She found the names of the groups completely foolish: Alice, Snow White, the Bad Wolf; all named after fairy tale characters. The groups then would queue to get a medical. That’s where she found a door and the perfect opportunity to start her real work.

As she walked through the hallways and hidden corners of the factory, the mystery of Sweetville took shape around her. The un-existing machinery and the enormous megaphones that replicated the sound of the factory, the bizarre empty rooms and the lack of working people. She kept her search until she found a dark hallway, full of prison like rooms, and some heavy machinery that expelled thick colourful smoke.

A noise startled her, a rhythmic thumping noise coming from one of the rooms. She approached it slowly, her hand going to one of her hidden pockets of her dress where she hid a small needle, just in case, and found a hatch at the bottom of the door.

She was a little surprised at finding the Doctor trapped in the pen when she finally opened the door, he was all painted in red and stiff as a corpse, like every other victim of the Crimson Horror, but he was alive. She touched his skin and was surprised when it felt like rubber instead of normal skin, she grimaced and made sure to clean her finger in her clothes. He couldn’t talk but he pointed at his clothing and screwdriver that lay haphazardly on the floor of the cell, Jenny nodded and started her mission of getting him out of the place.

She braced herself and helped him walk while he pointed his way to a machine, she struggled a bit, he was heavier and taller than her after all. Jenny wasn’t sure what he was doing but she guessed the machine would somehow return him to normal. She opened the door with a bit of difficulty, the hinges making a loud creaking sound as it opened. The Doctor stepped inside and she closed the door with a grimace. Her arms were tense but nothing that a good warm up when this was all done wouldn’t cure. 

The machine thumped loudly startling her, a thick white smoke and a green light poured out of the grating, a familiar mechanical sound and then the Doctor was bouncing out fully clothed and well.

“Ah! Missed me?” He asked in a cheery voice she hadn’t heard before.

“Doctor!”

He was in such good spirits, an enormous contrast from the taciturn Doctor she remembered and the completely insane Doctor she had seen last time. What in the world had happened to him since the last time they had seen him?

“Jenny. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Just when you think your favourite lock-picking Victorian chambermaid will never turn up. Jenny.” The Doctor grabbed her in a crushing hug and spinned her around.

“Doctor!” She said, a little bit scandalized.

He placed her down and she punched his arm not really hard, but with enough force for him to feel it. He rubbed his arm as if it had hurt, but he was still smiling. 

“You have no idea how good that feels. Right. Mrs Gillyflower. We’ve got to stop her. And then there’s Rose. Rose. Where’s Rose?” The Doctor said, speaking in a quick and broken manner.

He looked frantically around him and Jenny frowned. Now he was talking nonsense, which was more normal than the cheery Doctor from before.

“Rose?” Before she could even ask, the Doctor was already walking around with a determined look on his face. “Doctor, wait.”

He shook his head and took out his sonic screwdriver, pointing at every wall, window and door.

“Can’t. Rose. Got to find.” It appeared talking wasn’t really up his alley in the moment, with his short answers and cutting phrases.

She glared at him but made to follow him, he would get them into trouble otherwise.

“What happened to you? How long have you been like that?” She asked, maybe this time she’d get a better answer.

“Days, weeks, don’t know. Long story. I’ll keep it short.” The Doctor said.

Still cutting remarks but before she knew it, he was jumping into a long winded explanation on how he got to be there, all while walking quickly in the search of who she supposed was his current companion. She thought he was done with that, travelling with people.

“I was on my way to visit you, actually. Got into trouble somewhere along the scream and the corpses.” He said.

“And just who are we looking for?” She asked.

She might as well know who she was taking time to save.

“Companion. No, that doesn’t sound right.” He struggled to answer.

“We need to hurry, then.” Jenny stated while struggling to catch up to the Doctor. The man could really walk fast.

The Doctor perked up.

“Yes, Rose. Got to find Rose.”

_ Rose. _ The name brought back memories from the last time she had seen the man. They had got Lizzie thanks to that incident, and while she was still sorry for how the girl had lost everything, she was now happy with the way things had turned out. And, when she felt more confident in herself to admit it, Lizzie probably was too.

“But, Doctor. Rose’s dead. Isn’t she?” She asked, a sudden stiffness in her voice.

He had probably gone insane, or it was just a coincidence that the name of his current companion just happened to be Rose. Anything could happen, it was the Doctor after all. But, it was hardly possible it was the same person, right?

“It’s complicated.” The Doctor said, not stopping his search.

They were supposed to be investigating, this walking in plain sight instead of trying to hide was really making her nervous but the Doctor wouldn’t stop, he just kept walking with no pause at all.

And that name, it nagged at her. Rose. It couldn’t be. What about Lizzie, what would she do if it was the same person. Jenny felt like she was struggling to breath, probably from all the running after the Doctor. Yes, of course it must be that.

Still, she asked.

“Are we talking about the same person? About that Rose? Doctor!” There was an odd tone in her voice she had never heard before.

She felt like she was begging.  _ Please don’t let it be her, don’t take Lizzie away. _ The Doctor either ignored the tone of her voice or he hadn’t noticed it. He was now murmuring to himself, looking into every window on the boardwalk.

“I couldn’t see much from where I was, but I think she survived the process. She must be here somewhere.” He said.

“But Rose died. The Ice Lady? Doctor.” She tried again.

“Well, it’s er, it’s complicated.” This time he stopped and looked at her.

Jenny looked at his face, searching for an answer to the question she hadn’t asked but there was none. Of course there wasn’t, she hadn’t said anything, the Doctor probably didn’t remember Lizzie.

He turned back around and kept looking in the flats of Sweetville. He finally stopped in one and motioned Jenny to follow him. Inside they found a young woman and another gentleman in a bell jar. Blonde hair, lighter than the one she remembered, different clothes, more sophisticated if she had to say, but it was her, it was definitely her. 

_ Rose. _

Jenny struggled to catch her breath.

\-----

The Doctor found Rose under a giant glass bell jar in one of the flats of the Sweetville housing. 

They had changed her clothes to a plain maroon dress and her hair had been styled into a more era appropriate hairdo that was just not her. Her skin had a shiny look to it, like she had been dipped in liquid crystal. She was breathing slowly, like she was asleep but her eyes were wide open, a stiff smile on her face, staring at the nothing in front of her.

He tried to swallow, his mouth feeling weirdly dry. That’s how forever roses were made, they were dipped in a special chemical that preserved them for an abnormal amount of time. They will not wilt and can last for a few years, longer than their natural life. 

He approached the bell jar. The Beast kept the magical rose in the story, inside a crystal bell jar because he was afraid that something might happen to it. 

He touched the glass, it was cold. 

Rose must be cold inside there, too.

He took out his sonic and aimed it at the bell jar. The glass shattered in pieces and he carefully took Rose in his arms.

“Wait, Doctor. Aren’t we going to help him, too?” Jenny said beside him.

Right. Jenny was here too. 

He looked at the young man that was still there among the glass, still stiff, still staring into the distance.

“No time. Later.” He said, again in that weird tone of voice he didn’t like.

He did send the man a last look before taking Rose with him back to the same place they came from.

He could care later.

\-----

Jenny couldn’t believe it, it  _ was _ Rose. Or at least someone who looked identical to the young girl that had died just last year. She had a small moment of panic before the Doctor took off with the girl. They arrived at the same machine that had brought the Doctor back to normal– as normal as the man could be– where he put the young woman.

He sonicked around the wall and looked through the grating, practically fastened to the door.

Jenny bit the inside of her lip so hard it actually drew a little bit of blood. That was Rose, the same Rose. Did she remember her life here and Lizzie and had asked the Doctor to take her back here? Would she take Lizzie away?

She didn’t have enough time to wonder about the change this girl would bring into her life–her beautiful life, that she had worked so hard for–, in the blink of an eye they were being attacked. She faced the attackers and prepared her stance, her body getting ready for the fight. This she could manage.

Jenny defended the place. The Doctor, of course, was being of no help at all, useless as always in a fight. She pressed a small pendant from her bracelet and it started to blink with a white light, a gift Vastra had given to her and their way out of this mess. There were too many people, men and women attacking with equal force at her. She was a good fighter, she knew that, but she wouldn’t be able to handle it for much longer. 

Finally, Vastra and Strax arrived, Jenny gave a huge sigh of relief.

As soon as she saw Vastra approaching her she smiled, she came close to her leaving Strax to deal with the mess (which she could do without remorse, he looked like he was having fun). Her propriety prevented her from kissing Vastra like she wanted but she went immediately to her side and grabbed her hand, gripping it tightly. It had been a long day, and she had been away for far too long from her wife.

“Let’s go.” Vastra said and made a move to leave but Jenny stopped her.

She had to tell her, she had to, her life was going to change, too.

“No, Ma’am. We’re not escaping.” She said with a firm voice. “We’ve got to help the Doctor with Rose.”

“Rose?” Jenny could see how confused Vastra was, not really that different from how she felt herself.

A look Jenny couldn’t identify crossed Vastra’s eyes. Something she thought was probably mirrored in her own eyes.

“Long story.” The Doctor said while standing in front of the machine, unaware of their troubled minds.

Vastra tightened her grip on Jenny’s hand. It hurt a little bit, but it grounded her in reality.

The Doctor peered through the grating. “Okay, I think she’s about done.”

The Doctor opened the door of the machine and the blonde girl fell over into his waiting arms. He looked at her with relief palpable in his eyes. 

“She’s not who you think she is.” He started saying, not taking his eyes away from Rose, “Or, well, she is. But she’s not. It’s complicated.”

She wasn’t?

Rose opened her eyes and looked at the Doctor. She moved her hand to touch his face and smiled. “Doctor.”

“Hello.” He said back.

“Hello.” Rose finally looked aware of her surroundings and seemed to finally notice them. “Um, hello?” She said to them and then addressed the Doctor. “What’s happening?”

“Oh, haven’t you heard, love? There’s trouble at the mill.” The Doctor said jokingly.

\-----

They all ran through a long corridor with the Doctor on the lead, talking a mile per second.

Jenny eyed once in a while the blonde woman who was walking hand in hand with him. It was her, but there had been no recognition in her eyes and she had even introduced herself as Rose  _ Tyler _ , not Rose Smith as she had known her. Was she really a different person?

Vastra explained what she had found, about the repulsive red leech, a parasite that roamed during the prehistoric times infecting the water supplies with its poison.

“If it’s been hanging around, lurking in the shadows, maybe it’s evolved. Or maybe it’s had help.” The Doctor said as Vastra finished explaining. “What I don’t get is what does it have to do with this place?” 

Rose frowned beside him and looked at the place around her.

“And what’s the connection to Mrs Gillyflower? Judgement will rain down on us all. An empty mill.”

“And that chimney, why build it if there’s no real factory?” Rose asked.

The Doctor turned to look at her.

“A chimney.” Said the Doctor.

“A chimney that doesn’t blow smoke.” Said Rose.

Something clicked in Jenny’s mind at that moment.

“Clever.” The Doctor said.

“Missed me?” Rose asked.

“Lots.” He answered.

Was he flirting? What in God’s good name had happened to him?

The Doctor continued walking with more urgency, this time towards the tower. Rose was walking beside him with a contrite face until she winced and stopped, making the group look at her.

“Sorry, just gotta–” She said as she reclined on a wall and started to take her shoes off.

Jenny looked puzzled at the behaviour of this girl. Rose finished taking the shoes off, throwing them to the side and leaving her barefooted.

“Those shoes were  _ not _ made for running.” She said as she caught up with the Doctor, who was smiling from ear to ear.

Maybe they were both mad.

\-----

They solved the case, as they always did. Rescuing the Doctor while doing it was just a bonus. They were now walking to where she supposed the TARDIS was waiting.

It had been a long night, probably the longest in Jenny’s life with all the confusion and speculating about the young woman. After everything she had come to the conclusion that this woman really didn’t know who they were, and had no idea Lizzie existed. Even the way she talked was different, and she didn’t mean the accent but the words she used and the way she expressed herself. She was out of time.

Jenny looked at the Doctor talking to the blonde copy of the dead girl she had met last winter. Thank God they hadn’t brought Lizzie with them, how could they explain that this woman was and wasn’t her dead friend and that she couldn’t remember her. 

The Doctor, of course, wasn’t being any help at all to get them to understand what was happening. He was walking closely to Rose ahead of the rest of them, their hands linked while they talked in low voices. Jenny looked at her wife, trying to search for some answers but she found her as confused as she was.

Jenny grabbed her hand in a comforting gesture. She knew they were out in public but there were no people around them and she needed this.

At the end of the alleyway stood the blue police box.

“Right. Right, London. We were heading for London, weren’t we?” The Doctor said loudly this time. “Want a lift home?” he asked them.

Jenny answered way too fast and loud.

“Thank you, Doctor, but we brought our own method of transportation.” She said.

She didn’t want them to see Lizzie, and Vastra seemed to agree as she slightly squeezed her hand.

“Alright, then.” He said cheerfully as he turned to address the girl, “London!”

Rose giggled, “How about we take some proper R&R? ‘m knackered.”

“Your wish is my command.”

“Is it?”

“Always.”

Rose smiled and approached Vastra and the rest. Apart from the different colour of hair, she looked exactly the same as the Rose they’d known.

“Sorry for the bother. And thank you,” Rose paused and looked back at the Doctor. “For taking care of him.”

Rose went to the Doctor’s side and rummaged through the pockets of his Jacket until she took a notepad and a pen, she wrote something there and ripped the page. After all that was done, she came to stand in front of them again.

“I know you have the technology, so here.” She gave the piece of paper to Vastra who looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Contact us anytime.”

She said her goodbyes to them, she winked at the Doctor as she passed him and entered the TARDIS. The Doctor stood there looking at the empty space the young woman had occupied with a smile before turning to them.

“Splendid. Well, thanks a million, you three, as ever. Have some Pontefract cakes on me. I love Pontefract cakes. See you around, eh, I shouldn’t wonder.” He said quickly as he tried to get away from them.

“But Doctor. That girl, Rose. You haven’t explained.” Jenny called him out.

She was not letting him leave with no explanation.

“No, I haven’t. I barely understand myself.”

“Is she human?” Vastra asked beside her.

“Yes! Maybe! I really don’t know.”

Vastra was frowning, but something must have been clear in the Doctor’s expression because she said.

“You know her.”

“‘Course I do. You know her too.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.” But he didn’t elaborate after that. “She’s Rose. The original one. We think the one we met before was a message.”

“A message?”

“Yes, and that’s really all I know.” He scratched his chin. 

“Doctor, should I be concerned?” asked Vastra.

The Doctor turned to look at the blue box and then at them.

“I– Yes. Something’s coming.” And then his voice went an octave lower and his eyes became cold. “Soon.”

Jenny felt her whole body tensing.

And just like that, his mood changed once again, returning to the manic energy she had seen throughout the day. “You now have a way to contact me, do be careful with that. We don’t want that number to get into the hands of random people. I still regret giving my number to Churchill.” He said in a cheery voice. “I’ll see you around, er I shouldn't wonder.”

He entered the TARDIS and after a couple of minutes the groaning of the ship started, the wind picked up around it and it blinked out of existence.

\-----

“Well, that was eventful.” Said Rose as the Doctor finished the dematerialization sequence.

The Doctor looked at her as she sat on one of the seats wincing.

“How’re your feet?” He asked.

“Could be better.” She answered. “Not as bad, though.”

He was at her side in a second, picking her up and taking her through the hallways towards what she knew would be the infirmary. She rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m not an invalid, you know.” She said.

“Indulge me.”

They arrived and the Doctor sat her on the same weird chair from last time. He went to the drawers and pulled a silver cylinder device that looked a lot like the sonic, he checked it a few times, a white light coming from one side and then he was again at her side.

He checked her feet and frowned.

“Oh! They are a bit swollen and red, but no lacerations or anything of the sort.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Should be worse.”

“I’m tougher than what I look.” She said, not really knowing what he wanted her to answer.

He nodded and set to get her feet healed. 

It was just a few minutes and then she was on her feet again.

“I do suggest not to go throwing your shoes just because you don’t like them.” He teased.

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“So, where do you want to go? How about Daylight, spa planet, or Midnight. No. Never Midnight. Forget about Midnight, I’m never setting foot on that planet ever again.”

She snorted.

“Before you take me anywhere else, I’m taking a shower and a kip. And you are getting me chips.” She said and gave him a quick.

“Whatever you say.” She heard him say as she left the infirmary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter? In this economy? More likely than you think.
> 
> Quick question. I'm writing the sequel at the moment and I was wondering, would you be interested on reading a rewrite of the episode Fires of Pompeii? Just a thought.
> 
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	13. The Name of the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Name of the Doctor, part 1.

The dreams always started with golden light and ethereal singing. The moon, the stars, the infinite of the universe, all that is, all that was. 

And it hurt. It was like she was breaking into million pieces and she could only remember one thing. She had to help him,  _ her Doctor. _

She couldn’t remember everything, and most would disappear the moment she would wake up. Thousands of memories took shape as time passed, different lives, different times, different planets, scattered images that didn’t make sense. Whispers across the infinite universe. A message throughout time and space, to lead him to her.

In her dreams she met the Doctor. He always looked different but she always knew it was him. Over and over again, she would meet the man she loved.

He never remembered her.

Until he did.

_ Find me. _

After meeting the Doctor’s Victorian friends, there had been more solid dreams. They appeared in almost-remembered conversations and broken fragments of a life never lived. 

She remembered the struggle of living as an orphan, failing to go to school, working as hard as she could, and the friends she made, a young black man named Justice that was kind and his little sister Lizzie with a head full of wild curls and a mischievous smile. Rose was in a one bedroom flat, nothing much to see in it: a bed, a small table with a chair, a stove, and a small cupboard that held just enough food for two people. And it was cold, really cold. The window was closed to keep the cruel winter wind outside, and she had a kettle over the stove in the hopes of keeping the room a little bit warm with the steam that escaped it.

On the bed, Lizzie was waiting for her underneath a blanket that probably didn’t help much with the cold but was enough for the both of them. She was talking to the girl, she was trying to get her to sleep so she could go to work. She was going to be late to her turn at The Rose & Crown, and she could already see herself in a screaming match with the owner again.

“Tell me a story.” Lizzie said.

“It’s really late.” Rose said.

“Please Rose! It’ll help with the nightmares.”

She sighed tiredly but relented. She went to the side of the bed and sat there, the girl moving a bit to give her enough space.

She cleared her throat, in an attempt to put on a show. By the smile on Lizzie’s face she thought she was managing quite well, she winked at the girl and continued.

“There’s a man out there. A man who can change his face.” She started. 

Whenever she went to sleep, Rose dreamt of a life full of adventure and madness by the side of this man. She knew the dreams weren’t real, but she loved them as if they were.

“He travels in time and space in his magical machine.” Rose continued. “Once upon a time, he grabbed the hand of a girl and told her to run. He whisked her away in his machine and showed her the universe.”

“Tell me the story with the Army of Ghosts!” The girl said excitedly.

Rose tensed and the smile slipped off her face.

“I don’t like that story.” She said.

“Then why did you invent it?” Lizzie asked.

Rose frowned.

“I’m… not sure. How about another story with ghosts? What about the Ghosts and The Writer?”

Lizzie made a face but resigned herself.

“A’ight.”

Rose nodded before starting to tell the story of a girl that looked like her that had amazing adventures all across space. And for a small moment, as she told the story to Lizzie and the words poured out of her mouth, she felt that that life was the real one and the dream was the one she was living.

The images dissipated slowly, golden light filling her vision once more.

A loud alarm woke her from the dream. She had been too tired the night before that she had gone to sleep in her clothes without meaning to as she scrolled down her phone.

She grabbed her mobile from the nearby pillow and rubbed her face to fight off the sleep. There was something weird, the humming of the TARDIS sounded anxious, like she was feeling queasy about something. She frowned at the ceiling.

She answered the phone.

‘HELP’

The red words appeared immediately across the screen. 

Rose felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach.

And then the message changed with an awful screech. She covered her ears as she dropped the phone to the floor and a dark, unknown voice started to repeat over and over again. Tell the Doctor. 

_ ‘Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor.’ _

\-----

The sweet smell travelled in warm puffs from the kitchen through the house: Flour, sugar and milk. The smell of home.

A pot of tea was brewing away on the stove and the sun was setting in the sky making the light in the rooms slowly fade away. The kitchen was warm because of the oven, which was perfect because of the cold weather; Jenny was there with Lizzie making tea cakes, mixing the sugar and the flour and enjoying their alone time together. They had been at it for two hours now, starting around afternoon tea with a shortcake and moving on from there.

Vastra had gone to interrogate an inmate at the London Thameside Prison that had gone suddenly mad and started talking gibberish, calling out for _The Great Detective_ and _the_ Doctor (the definite article). Vastra had immediately gone tense when she heard this, it was quite strange for a nobody like that to be calling out for the Doctor, and Jenny understood quite well that this man could lead to trouble if left unattended. Vastra had told her to not accompany her, that it was safer if she went by herself. Jenny relented.

Of course, that left Jenny worrying about her wife. So she had tried to occupy herself doing some chores at first and then baking. That’s when Lizzie had joined in, almost begging her to let her help out instead of studying. Jenny agreed easily, since she didn’t want to be left alone worrying her head out and spending time with her daughter sounded perfect right at that moment.

After their case in Yorkshire, Vastra had started to worry more about Lizzie. Even Strax seemed a little bit worried, insisting on teaching Lizzie the hidden passageways and rooms of the house, for strategic purposes, he insisted but Jenny could see right through his tough exterior. With the ominous warning hanging over the Paternoster Gang, they started to pay more attention to their surroundings in case something might happen.

Lizzie was cutting the tea cakes now and separating them in the tray that was going inside the oven while Jenny was making whipped cream while the shortcake bread cooled on a rack.

“When is Madame coming back?” Lizzie asked.

Jenny turned to look at Lizzie with a raised eyebrow, she seemed to be focused on her task but Jenny could tell by the wrinkle on her brow she wasn’t in reality.

“Much too late for you to be awake, Lizzie.” She answered with a knowing smile.

Lizzie only grumbled and kept on cutting the tea cakes.

“What about Strax?” She asked.

“Tomorrow. Is his free weekend, remember.” Jenny answered.

“I remember.” Lizzie said with a pout.

Jenny breathed out a small laugh. “Are you so bored already, left alone with me?”

“Not really.” Lizzie said and it sounded true. “Just doesn’t feel like home if everybody isn’t here.”

Jenny thought she could burst from the warm feeling that was travelling all over her body. So this is what a family felt like. That was the first time Lizzie called the Paternoster house as her home. Jenny thought she couldn’t be anymore happier than she was right at the moment.

They finished cutting the tea cakes and put them in the oven and while they baked, they decorated the shortbread and served tea to accompany it.

It was getting pretty late so Jenny sent Lizzie to get clean and to sleep. She was left alone with her thoughts again, although more calm than a few hours before. She looked at the clock and sighed, Vastra was late, but it wasn’t anything to fret about, right?

\-----

Vastra despised these types of humans, these rats that preyed upon weaker people for their own gain.

She was walking through the dark, humid corridor, wishing to be anywhere but there. The guard beside her completely ignored her and his surroundings, as he guided her through the place. She kept her handkerchief over her nose as she walked through the fetid hallways of the prison. 

The prison was cold and she could feel it seep through her heavy winter clothes. How unfortunate to be a cold blooded being in a place like England. She really didn’t want to be there, she had gotten this man in prison and she was going to see him hanged. A couple of days ago he had suddenly started screaming, raging about supernatural creatures, completely gone mad. That in itself hadn’t been enough to get her to talk to the disgusting ape. He had called out for The Great Detective, demanding to see her, and then he had said something she didn’t expect:  _ They’re looking for the Doctor. _

‘They’, she didn’t understand what the ape meant but it was enough for her to go and investigate. The Doctor’s warning from their previous encounter had been enough to shake her to the core, she had a great life now and she was not going to lose it.

There were whispers as she walked in front of the pens, men gone mad that screamed their ghosts past, and then she finally heard it.

“Do you hear the Whisper Men? The Whisper Men are near. If you hear the Whisper Men, then turn away your ear.”

A man’s voice that was coming from the last cell in the hallway. It wasn’t screaming, it wasn’t wavering, it was just talking in a low voice with such a clarity it actually surprised her.

The guard opened the pen and she stepped through the door. In the far corner of the room sat a man, his back turned from them as he kept talking to himself.

“Do not hear the Whisper men, whatever else you do. For once you’ve heard the Whisper Men, they’ll stop and look at you.” The man repeated over and over again.

She finally came to stand as close as she felt comfortable to the rat that was DeMarco.

Once he noticed her he stopped his murmuring and turned to look at her.

“One word from you could save me from the rope.” He said in a hoarse voice.

He had probably spent his first hours in this place screaming his outrage. She didn’t care.

“Then you may rely on my silence.” She answered cuttingly.

“I have information. Valuable information.”

She scoffed, she was only here to see if that was actually true.

“Are you bargaining for your life? You have the blood of fourteen women on your hands. There are no words you can speak that will save your neck.” She said.

It was true, she didn’t intend to help the ape. If he actually had valuable information, she would take what she needed and leave him rotting here.

“The Doctor.” DeMarco said and she tensed slightly. “Ah, yes. I know all about him, your dangerous friend.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, not that he could see much with her veil on.

“How?” She asked, still in a nonchalant tone.

He regarded her like one would regard a piece on a chess board. Well, she was not easy to play with.

“In the babble of the world, there are whispers, if you know how to listen.” He said. “The Doctor has a secret, you know.”

“He has many.” She said indifferently.

She had no belief that she actually knew who the Doctor was, nor she cared about that. He had helped her, showed her this world and how to live in it and that led her to find her wife and her family, and because of that he had her gratitude. He was her friend, and that was it. She didn’t need to know more.

“He has one he will take to the grave.” He said, and  _ that _ sounded actually useful. “And it is discovered. Well?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

He was trying to bargain. 

She smiled coldly. Whatever this man expected, she wasn’t going to play into his hands.

“I’m sure I can get my hands on that information some other way.” This time, she raised her veil.

\-----

Vastra finished wiping her hands as her coach stopped in front of her home. Extracting information from apes was quite easy, really, they just had inferior brains that were just too easy to manipulate and look into. DeMarco had had relevant information that had brought a series of unfortunate thoughts to Vastra. She sighed heavily, she was getting a headache and all she wanted was to get home and see Jenny.

Vastra stepped out of the coach and went inside the house. She was greeted by the smell of sweets and tea, Jenny had been baking while she was gone. Vastra smiled, whenever Jenny wanted to distract herself she started baking.

Her wife appeared quickly in the entryway with a welcoming smile and Vastra relaxed infinitesimally. There were still so many things to worry about but seeing her always helped to calm her dreary thoughts.

“Ma’am, you’re home.” Jenny said, as she went to help her get out of her coat. 

Vastra relented, it wasn’t like she couldn’t do it by herself but if Jenny liked it who was she to deny her anything. 

“Glad to be back, it feels like it’s been years and I know it’s only been a few hours, really.” Vastra said.

Jenny nodded along and went to hang the coat.

“Lizzie wanted to wait up for you.” She said.

“Did she?” That pleased Vastra immensely.

Lizzie was a bright child and she fit perfectly with them. She was so proud of her and looked forward to passing her title to the child when she retired.

Vastra turned to see Jenny, she was in a good mood and she didn’t want to kill that but alas, they had trouble at hand. 

“Call Strax immediately.” Vastra said. 

“What? Why?” Jenny frowned as she turned to look at her.

Vastra did her best to maintain her voice leveled and her face blank. 

“There’s something we need to discuss.”

Jenny nodded slowly and went to make the call.

Vastra looked upstairs and raised an eyebrow. There was noise that most likely came from Lizzie’s room, the ruffling of bedsheets and careful steps that moved around the room. Vastra smiled, what a mischievous child they had.

Jenny called for Strax to come back and in the meantime Vastra told her to get the meeting room ready. 

Their meeting room was small, more like a private parlor than anything. It had a hexagonal table in the middle of the room and high backed chairs that surrounded it, tasteful but simple decor and no windows. Really, if someone were to come inside they wouldn’t be attracted to anything in the room, and that was the point. The table was a highly technological machine Vastra had been able to salvage from her civilization, it had a telepathic system to download information to it and a holographic feature inserted in the middle of it, and with the help of the Doctor they had repaired it so it looked completely normal.

It didn’t take long for Strax to storm inside the house with a loud voice. “It had better be important. I was in the middle of destroying some very pleasant primitives.” He said.

Vastra raised an eyebrow at him.

“I apologise for the interruption, but there is urgent news concerning the Doctor.”

She pointed to the meeting room and they all went inside. As Strax and Jenny settled, Vastra went to the phonograph in the room and chose a record, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons started playing in the background as Vastra settled into one of the high backed chairs.

Jenny raised an eyebrow at the action and Vastra raised a finger to her lips. 

“I don’t think our dear child is asleep.” Vastra explained.

Something about the way she phrased it made Jenny look incredibly happy.

“Of course.” Jenny said while trying to hide her smile. 

At the side of the table was a control panel in which Vastra put what she had managed to extract from DeMarco. 

“Clarence DeMarco. Murderer, under sentence of death. He offered us this in exchange for his life.” Vastra pushed a few buttons and a picture in the middle of the table appeared. “Space time coordinates.”

“This, Mister DeMarco claims, is the location of the Doctor’s greatest secret.” Vastra said.

“Which is?” Jenny asked.

“I don’t know. The Doctor does not discuss his secrets with anyone, my dear.”

Jenny nodded and then frowned, she looked around herself with confusion before moving her attention once again to the holograma. Vastra looked at her wanting to ask, but Jenny only shook her head to tell her to continue.

“So what else did this DeMarco tell you? How did he prove the value of his words?” Jenny asked. 

“One word, only.”

“What word?” Strax demanded.

“A word I’ve heard in connection with the Doctor before. Trenzalore.”

Again, Vastra did something and the hologram on the table changed. DeMarco’s face appeared clearly in the hologram as he spoke.

_ ‘The Doctor has a secret, you know. He has one he will take to the grave. And it is discovered.’ _ the hologram said.

Jenny gasped beside her and a hand flew to her stomach.

“Jenny?” Vastra asked. 

Something was wrong.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am.” Jenny said, her voice trembling slightly.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry. I just realise I forgot to lock the doors.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t. Someone’s broken in. Someone ‘s with us.” Jenny raised her hand and all at once Vastra was hit with the smell of blood.

Strax stood up, his hand going to his gun in his pocket ready to fight.

Without any thought, Vastra pressed a button on the table that sent a help signal. The signal would send the entire data on the table to a designated receiver before erasing everything in it.

Shadows appeared all around them. Dark, tall figures with long clawed fingers dressed in black suits and top hats, and no face. They circled around them as they came closer and closer. Jenny fell to the floor, and Vastra was at her side immediately. She held onto her wife and tried her best to protect her. 

“Who are you? What have you done to her?” Vastra hissed at the creatures. 

The black figures only kept their advance. 

\-----

Lizzie couldn’t sleep. She knew the house wasn’t actually alone, but she didn’t like the silence, it made it feel different, abandoned.

She had taken a bath, put on her nightgown and then gone to her bed but she couldn’t sleep. She wanted to wait for the Madame to arrive, and maybe stay awake for a moment more to ask her all about the criminal she had talked to. She tried to read for a while but couldn’t concentrate and then walked around her bedroom as quietly as she could as to not make Jenny mad that she was still awake. 

She heard the Madame getting home and Jenny greeting her in the entrance. Finally, she was getting tired of waiting. She couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but she knew they were saying something interesting. She climbed on her bed and waited for more noise. She wanted to go downstairs but she knew if she went there right at that moment they would only send her to bed again.

After what felt like an eternity, Lizzie heard Strax doing his usual thunderous greeting as he entered the house. Had they called him back? She frowned. That wasn’t right, they never called him on his weekend off unless it was an emergency.

Lizzie decided she couldn’t stay still anymore so she got out of the bed and as quiet as she could, put on her slippers and left her room. The corridors were dark but she could hear Madame and the others discussing something so the place didn’t feel scary at all. She walked cautiously and went down the stairs knowing exactly where to step so as to not make any creaking noise.

She knew her way through the house by memory thanks to Strax and arrived at the private parlor shortly. She didn’t know what else to call it, it was barely used since the Madame attended all her clients in the garden after all. There was also the real parlor, the dining room and the drawing room, there were too many rooms in the house, so she didn’t understand the need for this extra private one.

She walked close to the walls of the corridor until she reached the entrance of the parlor. Of course, she couldn’t just enter but thanks to Strax, she had explored this house to it’s last nook, so she now knew that behind the big portrait beside the door was a secret entrance where she could sneak in.

She moved the portrait carefully and went inside the small opening. It couldn’t be called a corridor because of how small it was but she fit in perfectly, and at the end of it was another opening. It was slightly open so she peered through the tiny gap.

She could see the Madame, Jenny and Strax talking urgently between them but she couldn’t hear anything over the music. Madame’s face was drawn tight as she explained what the floating pictures were.

She was about to give up and go to bed– clearly she wouldn’t be able to talk to any of them right now since they all seemed really serious– when it happened.

It was chaos, Jenny fell to the floor as shadows dressed in black appeared out of nowhere, surrounding her family. Lizzie could see how Jenny clutched her stomach as blood flowed from a wound that had appeared out of nowhere. She pressed her hands over her mouth and did her best not to make a sound.

Strax was screaming at the creatures and Madame was on the floor holding Jenny close. Strax was strong, he would protect them, she was certain of it. But the creatures were tall and menacing and gave no reaction at all. Strax’s gun did nothing against the creatures. 

She saw Jenny unmoving on the floor, was she breathing? Was she okay?

Lizzie could feel herself trembling. She was afraid, very afraid.

In a second, Madame looked to the place Lizzie was hiding and made eye contact with her, she shook her head infinitesimally, ‘Don’t’. Lizzie could barely breath and she pressed her hands harder over her face. She felt tears streaming down her face and her body went cold. ‘Don’t’.

_ Please don’t take my family away. _ She thought.

She thought of Justice. 

She thought of Rose.

_ Not again. _

Madame was still looking at her and did a movement. It was small, but she was pointing to her necklace. The medallions! They were all some kind of technology to allow them to talk or send emergency messages. They all had one, even Lizzie. Did she mean she had sent for help? Was someone coming to save them?

Madame’s eyes turned to look at the table. A small, barely there red button was blinking with a faint light.

A message of help.

The creatures loomed over her family. Some awful sound came from the machine inside the table and then another voice she didn’t recognize started speaking.

_ ‘Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor.’ _

The dark figures grabbed her family and the last thing she saw was Madame’s eyes and her mouth forming  _ ‘I’m sorry’. _

_ ‘His friends are lost forever more, unless he goes to Trenzalore.’ _

\-----

Rose put on her sneakers and ran to the console room, her hand was trembling as she gripped her phone as tightly as she could. She felt jittery, with too much energy, and she thought it wasn’t only herself feeling like this. The ship groaned around her as she ran through the corridors. Something was coming.

The ship groaned once more as she reached the console room. The Doctor was looking at the rotor in the middle of the room with a weird expression, as if he was trying to comprehend what the TARDIS was trying to say. He turned to look at her and smiled, she could see how excited he was for the day in the way his eyes shined at her.

“Rose! You’re awake!” He said, clearly not noticing her distress. “Didn’t expect you to be up and about, your normal sleeping cycle ends–”

“Doctor.”

She said his name in a soft but serious tone and he stopped moving. She approached him with a cautious step, she didn’t know what this message meant, she didn’t know what they were facing, but she could feel the TARDIS and she thought she didn’t like how she felt.

Rose showed him her phone and the message repeated once more in that ominous voice.

_ ‘Tell the Doctor. His friends are lost forever more, unless he goes to Trenzalore.’ _

He stayed silent. It was eerie, she had never seen him so still. This Doctor was pure energy, always moving around the place, his hands never still as he talked a mile per minute. She liked that of him. This stillness was frightening.

He recovered after what felt like an eternity.

“Sorry.” He said, and his voice shook with so many emotions she couldn’t place. “And it was Trenzalore? Definitely Trenzalore?”

She nodded.

The Doctor then turned around and left her there standing as he went below deck. She stared at the now empty space, she didn’t know what to do, she barely knew these people but they had been nice and taken care of the Doctor, and damn it she cared. She looked at the phone in her hand and she wished none of this were happening, she wished they could just be care-free people that travelled the stars, she wished none of them cared so much.

After staring at her phone for way too long she went below deck. The Doctor was sitting under a shower of cables, looking at them like they held all the answers.

He looked so small.

“Doctor?” She said.

“Trenzalore. I’ve heard the name, of course.” He started. “Always suspected what it was, never wanted to find out myself.”

He stood up and walked until he was staring down at her. Sometimes she forgot how tall he actually was, almost a foot taller than her.

“Give me your mobile.” He said.

She did, she didn’t know what else to do. He checked the phone and did something with it. The message repeated once more and then a different sound replaced it. He went upstairs now with a purpose and connected the phone to the TARDIS.

“That’s what we’re following. Is a message containing everything they knew.” He said as he signaled the monitor. “Coordinates.”

She nodded again. He was talking, but he wasn’t saying anything.

“Doctor, what is Trenzalore?” She asked.

He looked everywhere else but her. He didn’t want to talk, that much was clear. Rose realized that maybe this was the first time she had seen this Doctor truly unnerved.

“When you are a time traveller, there is one place you must never go.” He said, still not looking at her. “One place in all of space and time you must never, ever find yourself.”

“Where?” She asked.

She didn’t know what to do with her hands, she didn’t know if it was okay to go and grab his hand like she always had, so she held her hands together and waited for him to talk. 

“ _ The Doctor has a secret he will take to the grave. It is discovered. _ He wasn’t talking about my secret. No, no, no, that’s not what’s been found. He was talking about my grave. Trenzalore is where I’m buried.”

“What?”

The Doctor was looking intently at the monitor, like maybe it held all the answers. His grave?

“The trouble with time travel, you can actually end up visiting the place where you’re going to die.” He said.

“Wait, Doctor.” She wanted more explanation than that.

“I have to save Vastra and Strax. Jenny too, if it’s still possible. They, they cared for me during the dark times. Never questioned me, never judged me, they were just kind. I owe them. I have a duty.” 

He went silent again. This time Rose went to his side and grabbed his hand, making him look at her. He leveled a stare at her and she looked firmly at him, she was not backing down from this.

“No point in telling you this is too dangerous.” He said, and it wasn’t a question.

“None.” She answered firmly. “How do we do this?”

“Apparently, by breaking into my own tomb.” He said in a nonchalantly tone.

He smiled at her. With a flick of a lever, the Doctor put the TARDIS into flight. The ship shook as it started to move, the rotor moving up and down with a groaning sound, the lights flickered randomly and the names on top moved so fast you couldn’t catch the figures anymore. It was a very bumpy ride, all in all.

Rose’s head hurt a little and she was getting sick. That had never happened to her in the ship, so she guessed it wasn’t her feeling like this.

“What’s going on?” Rose asked, trying to hold onto the railing.

The Doctor held onto the control panel and tried to control the navigation.

“She’s just figured out where we’re going. She’s against it. I’m about to cross my own timeline in the biggest way possible. The TARDIS doesn’t like it. She’s fighting it.” He explained. “Hang on! Hang on!”

Something exploded behind them with a loud bang, sparks flew all around the room, a fire started somewhere. They got thrown over to the railings, as the light in the ship turned off. The TARDIS went silent.

Finally, Rose stood up. Her head hurt and the singing of the ship sounded wobbly inside her head. The Doctor started putting out the fires as he explained what had happened.

“She doesn’t want to land. She’s shut down.”

Well, if Rose was feeling sick she couldn’t imagine how the TARDIS must feel.

When he was done, the Doctor went to the doors, opened them and looked down. Rose approached cautiously, she stood on the edge of the doors, the Doctor beside her.

They were floating above a planet on fire. She could see the destruction from where they were standing, of all of the things she had seen nothing could have prepared her for that. The darkness. Death. Rivers of lava and volcanic rocks standing tall. A lifeless planet.

“Always thought maybe I’d retire.” The Doctor said with a small voice. “Take up watercolours or bee-keeping, or something. Apparently not.”

Rose grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly.  _ I’m here, _ she tried to say,  _ I’m not going anywhere. _

“You still could. We could run.” She said instead.

But neither of them moved. They just stared at the planet below them.

“We’ve always been running.” The Doctor said.

It was true. Ever since their first meeting they had been running. From their past, from each other. Towards something. 

Always running.

“How do we get there?” She asked and he turned to look at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“We fall.” He said and then smiled.

They went back inside, closing the doors.

“She’s turned off practically everything, except the anti-gravs.” Explained the Doctor. “Guess what I’m turning off.”

He took out his sonic screwdriver and pointed to somewhere on the control panel. The TARDIS shook once and then they were falling. Rose screamed, not really knowing what else to do. She held onto the railing with all her strength as she felt the weight of Gravity on her.

The TARDIS hit the ground with a bang, the impact so hard it broke one of the glass panes in the door.

Rose had ended on the floor, her head and body hurt and she wished she could stay there without moving forever. She opened her eyes. Oh God. What an awful idea. Everything around her was moving and she couldn’t focus.

“Rose?!” She heard the Doctor’s voice from somewhere.

She shook her head. Nope. Another bad idea.

“Right here!” She answered.

The Doctor came to her side and helped her to get up. He held her as she stumbled and gathered her footing.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I want to throw up.” She answered.

He searched through his pockets and took out a small blue pill, he gave it to her and she decided it couldn’t do any more harm. “Here, you’ll be fine.” She swallowed and waited.

When she could finally breathe normally she nodded.

The doors opened to the scene of a battlefield. Ship wreckage and weapons lay rusting on the floor, graves unmarked covered the place completely, and ash and soot coated the ground. The sky above them was dark, black clouds covered most of the horizon and occasionally rived with lightning.

They went outside, Rose following closely behind the Doctor.

“The bigger the gravestone, the higher the rank.” The Doctor commented as he led her through the cemetery.

They walked through the battlefield, so many graves, most without names. And as they walked, the biggest grave of all started to take shape, a familiar shape with a light on top and a feeble singing.

“Is that...?” Rose began.

“It’s the TARDIS.” He said solemnly.

“But how?” She asked.

“When a TARDIS is dying, sometimes the dimension dams start breaking down. They used to call it a size leak. All the bigger on the inside starts leaking to the outside. It grows. When I say that’s the TARDIS, I don’t mean it looks like the TARDIS, I mean it actually is the TARDIS. My TARDIS from the future. What else would they bury me in?”

A dying TARDIS. But, she had seen one, with Donna. It hadn’t been like that but she sounded the same. Weak and not at all there, her presence broken in some way inside her head. It had been painful.

They kept walking, not really talking and not really touching. She wanted more than anything to ground herself in the warmth of his hand. The singing in her head sounded distorted, the presence of two TARDISes starting to be too much for her.

She tried to distract herself. Say anything.

“I once saw it,” She said, “a dying TARDIS.”

He looked at her and she felt the need to explain.

“It was a pocket universe, or somethin’, you hadn’t met Donna and you–” Died. You  _ died _ . “Anyway, the TARDIS was left there to die. It was awful.”

He nodded and they kept walking. She looked at the named graves and came upon one that didn’t make sense.

“Doctor.” She called out to him.

The Doctor approached her as she pointed at the grave. In the gravestone was engraved Bad Wolf.

“Right,” The Doctor said, trying for a chirpier tone. “it couldn’t be any more obvious.”

The Doctor took out his sonic and went to examine the grave. Rose could hear something, whispers of ghosts. Tall, dark figures dressed in suits and top hats appeared from thin air and surrounded them. 

“Doctor!” She called out to him.

Were these the creatures the same ones that had attacked Madame Vastra and the others? They chanted as they went closer to them, their cold, dead voices bringing shivers down Rose’s spine.

_ ‘This man must fall as all men must. The fate of all is always dust.’ _

“Oh, they really hate you, don’t they?” Rose said, trying to lighten up the terror she felt inside.

“It does seem like it.” The Doctor said as he grabbed her hand.

The creatures were getting closer and closer.

“Doctor, the grave!” She said.

“Right!”

The Doctor zapped the headstone with the sonic screwdriver. A hole opened in the ground and they fell through.

_ ‘The man who lies will lie no more when this man lies at Trenzalore.’ _

The opening closed again and they were left in the dark. Rose coughed and stood up, wiping the dust on her jeans. The place they were was cold and dusty, and smelled like no one had stepped foot in centuries.

The Doctor lit a handy firebrand– that was just there, apparently– with the sonic illuminating the place.

“Where are we? And where did that come from?” She asked.

These places always had these kinds of things in hand, she guessed.

“Catacombs.”

“I hate catacombs.” She said.

“Must be a shortcut.”

The Doctor walked out of her sight to investigate, it left her feeling anxious. The energy she had felt from the beginning of this was making her restless, like the TARDIS was telling her to get out. To run as far away as she could and never return.

The whispers started again and Rose looked around her frantically. These creatures could appear from nowhere, there was no place that was safe. A tall figure appeared in front of her and grabbed her arm with great strength, its touch was cold and the grip was vice like. 

She tried to fight out of the grip just as the Doctor bursted through a steel door. He pulled her out of its grasp and slammed the door shut once more. It’s hand was left trapped until it pulled it back, and the door closed properly this time.

The Doctor sealed the door with the sonic and they both rested against it.

“Why is it always some kind of life and death situation with you?”

“You know me, love the drama sometimes.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards their destination, walking the hallways of a dead TARDIS. They headed up a pair of metal stairs and then a dusty corridor.

Rose was feeling dizzy and she was struggling to catch her breath as they advanced towards whatever place they were going. The two presences inside her head battling over dominance. She stopped walking and rested her head against a wall, it was cold and it felt nice against her burning skin, her lungs felt like they were being pressed down and her head hurt. The Doctor noticed and went to her side immediately.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re fine.” He said as he pulled her to him. “The dimensioning forces this deep in the TARDIS, they can make you a bit giddy.”

“I know, I know.” She didn’t know, she wanted to throw up.

“You’re fine, you’re alright.” He said again, as if trying to convince himself and not her.

Sickly singing and bright light muted her senses.

“It’s the TARDIS.” She said.

“Which one?” He was trying to be funny, he always did that when he didn’t know what else to do.

The world around her spinned out of control and she was only standing because the Doctor was holding her up.

“She doesn’t want me to be here.” She said.

The Doctor tensed and tried to pull her to continue.

“Come on, Rose.”

Her vision blurred and she thought she could see everything bathed in golden. Memories that weren’t hers floated in front of her. A girl with wild curls. A tall and kind young man. A woman made of ice and snowmen. Snow falling from the sky as she dreamt of stars. A mad man with a magic blue box.

“The snowmen and the Ice Lady.” She said.

_ ‘This is impossible. It’s bigger on the inside.’ _

The TARDIS, the new TARDIS, the Doctor looking at her begging her to remember. Something akin to a memory.

_ ‘Who are you?’ _

_ ‘I’m the Doctor. You know me.’ _

Her real life amongst the stars.  _ ‘No, I don’t. That wasn’t real. It was a dream.’ _

“Rose?” The Doctor– the real one, standing in front of her– called her name.

The cold of the Alaska wreckage, the smell of death from her crewmates. The fear. She wanted to run away, leave behind all the pain, all her bad decisions. The Daleks that hunted her down. The dark corridors. The white room.

_ ‘I’m human. I am not a Dalek, I am human. I am not Dalek, I am human!’ _

“And the Asylum and the Daleks.” Her voice sounded so far away.

The Doctor was talking right beside her, holding her against him, and still she felt miles away from there.

“The TARDIS is a ruin.” She could hear him say. “The telepathic circuits are awakening memories you shouldn’t even have.”

_ ‘Maybe we met in another lifetime.’ _ How many times? How many shadows?

It had been a message, and a promise to come back.

“Why? Why would Bad Wolf do this? It wasn’t enough, the words aren’t enough.” She tried to pull back, get away from the overwhelming images of something that hadn’t happened to her.

“Rose.” The Doctor said and this time she could see  _ him. _ This him, not any of his other faces.

“I’ve met you before.” She said. “All of you. So many times.”

Too many things inside her head, too many memories, too much. Her head hurt.

She had been there, trying to help him. The Ice Lady and the Daleks and everything that came before that.

She had been alive, and then she wasn’t.

“I died.” She said.

The Doctor was looking at her with wide eyes, holding her up with a tight grip.

“Those were only shadows, those are not your memories.” He said. “We cannot stay here any longer.”

He pulled her again and she did her best to follow.

The dark figures appeared, going through the wall like it was made of smoke.

_ ‘The girl who died he tried to save. She’ll die again inside his grave.’ _

The Doctor gripped her hand tightly and pulled her away.

“Run. Run!”

\-----

Vastra woke up at the base of the TARDIS monument.

It took her a moment to notice where she was and Strax’s loud voice screaming to realise what had happened. She turned around in panic until she saw Jenny’s unmoving body near her.

She went to her wife’s side immediately, holding her close. She touched her cheek, her skin was cold as ice.

“Jenny. Jenny!” She called out for her.

She patted her cheek lightly, Jenny didn’t respond. This couldn’t be happening, not now when her life was good. Vastra turned around to call for Strax.

“Strax, please! I think she’s–.” She didn’t want to say it. Not now, not ever.

Strax approached them and scanned Jenny.

“No heartbeat. Complete cardio-collapse, shock induced.” He said, with such an unfeeling voice.

Reptiles couldn’t cry, no tears would fall from Vastra’s eyes as she felt her world collapse underneath her.

“Strax, do something.” She said with an almost firm voice. “Get her back for me.” It was an order.

Strax was indebted to her and, whether he liked to admit it or not, he cared for them. Strax only gave her a stare and used his medi-scanner to transmit an electric pulse, and Jenny coughs.

Jenny opened her eyes, and Vastra thought that it was the most beautiful sight. Strax kneeled beside them and used another device to close her wound.

“There we go.” He said. “Just a standard electro-cardio restart. She’ll be fine.”

And maybe Vastra was too emotional, but she thought she heard relief in Strax’s voice.

“Are you all right, my love? Can you hear me?” Vastra asked softly, caressing Jenny’s cheek.

Jenny turned to look at her, still looking dizzy but smiled softly. They’ll be fine, everything was fine.

“The heart is a relatively simple thing.” Strax said.

Vastra shook her head and caressed her wife’s cheek once more.

“I have not found it to be so.” She said and hugged Jenny tighter to her.

The tall figures appeared once more surrounding them. They approached slowly and another figure, this time with familiar features appeared in front of them. 

Their leader.

“I see you have repaired your pet.” Doctor Simeon of the Great Intelligence Institute stood tall in front of them. 

There was a supernatural air to him, something that screamed danger. Not longer a human, it seemed.

“No matter. I was only attracting your attention. I presume I have it.” He said.

Vastra tried to make sense of everything that was happening.

“Doctor Simeon. This is not possible.” She said.

The tall man looked at her on the floor like she was just an animal talking. It irked her and she wanted nothing more than to kill him.

“And yet here we are, meeting again, so very far from home.” He said, unperturbed.

“He’s supposed to be dead.” Strax said.

“Simeon died, but the creature that possessed him lived on, apparently.” Vastra said, as the things started to connect in her head. “I take it I am now talking to the Great Intelligence?”

The creature that was using Doctor Simeon’s face gave a faint smile.

“Welcome to the final resting place of the cruel tyrant.” He said as he made a gesture with his hand to his surroundings. “Of the slaughterer of the ten billion, and the vessel of the final darkness. Welcome to the tomb of the Doctor.”

\-----

Rose and the Doctor arrived at the entrance of the tomb. 

There, the Doctor’s friends were surrounded by the creatures and in the middle was a very familiar face. Rose couldn’t place it, it was still really hard for her to stand on her own but she thought she had seen it before.

“Here I am, late to my own funeral. Glad you could make it.” The Doctor said with a too-casual tone.

The man looked at him with cold, dead eyes as he spoke.

“Open the door, Doctor. Speak, and open your tomb.” He said.

“No.” The Doctor answered icily.

Cold anger. That’s what this Doctor was, no reaction, just hard facts.

“Because you know what’s in there?” The man said threateningly.

“I will not open those doors.”

“The key is a word lost to time. A secret hidden in the deepest shadow and known to you alone. The answer to a question.”

Rose frowned as the Doctor continued to keep his calm façade beside her.

“I will not open my tomb.”

“Doctor, what is your name?” The man asked.

He didn’t answer. 

Rose tensed.  _ His name. _ And she would have laughed if she wasn’t feeling so bad, because she knew. When Time Lords married, they shared their names as a promise to their loved one. She remembered her wedding day, standing in front of her friends and family, the love of her life beside her as he whispered his precious secret into her ear, something he would never share with anyone else ever again. Something that would be completely hers.  _ I am yours, just as you’re mine, _ he had said softly as he kissed her.

“The Doctor’s friends.” The man said. “Stop their hearts.”

The creatures looked even more menacing than before, approaching slowly but resolutely.

Strax pulled out a gun and started shooting, but the shots went through them like they were nothing. Madame Vastra pulled Jenny up and behind her and they did their best to defend themselves. Nothing was working. How to stop a creature that could phase out of existence as it pleased, that his physical form was but decor. They couldn’t shoot at it, they couldn’t punch at it, everything would just go through it like it was air.

“Doctor who?” The man asked.

The Doctor still didn’t answer, of course he wouldn’t.

One of the creatures grabbed Rose and she fought against the grasp of the creature. She hated feeling so weak, she hadn’t felt like this in a long time.

The singing of the dying TARDIS in front of her grew clearer, as if she was calling out to her.  _ You’re part of me, _ she thought the dying ship was trying to tell her,  _ I hear you _ . Rose sent a silent prayer in the form of the Doctor’s name, hoping against hope that it was true and the ship could hear her even when she was like this. 

The door opened with a thunderous sound and everybody was released. Rose fell to the floor coughing and did her best to stand on her own.

White light escaped from the entrance, illuminating the entire place.

“Why did you open the door, sir? I had them on the run.” Strax said.

“I didn’t do it. I didn’t say my name.” The Doctor said.

He looked around, checking on everyone. Madame Vastra and Jenny stood close just as Strax approached them with his scan, they looked okay and Rose was so glad to see them all right.

“Is everyone all right? Is everyone okay? Rose? Rose?”

“I’m okay.”

He went to her side and Rose looked at him pleadingly.

“She can still hear me.” She said in a whisper.

The Doctor stared at her hard, he knew what she meant. He turned once more to the man and the creatures who looked hungrily at the white light that poured from inside the tomb.

“Now then, Doctor Simeon, or Mister G. Intelligence, whatever I call you, do you know what’s in there?”

The man looked at the Doctor condescendly.

“For me, peace at last.” He said. “For you, pain everlasting. Won’t you invite us in?”

The Doctor walked to the entrance and forced the doors further open. Rose followed behind, as if the light was somehow calling to her. 

Inside was the console room, just as it was now, except, instead of the time rotor and console in the middle of the room, there was a bright tangle of shining white energy tendrils, swirling and writhing in a column. Strings of silver light knotting and moving around each other like they were dancing to a song made of time. The Cloister Bell tolled in the background as they all went inside. There was ivy growing over the railing and other places, like the ship had been abandoned for a long, long time. 

A dying TARDIS.

“What’s that?” Rose asked, still feeling a bit breathless.

“What were you expecting, a body? Bodies are boring. I’ve had loads of them. Nah, that’s not what my tomb is for.” 

She was feeling dizzy again but she held on, she couldn’t show just how much being inside a dead TARDIS was affecting her.

“But what is the light?” Vastra asked, bringing Jenny closer to her.

“Should I destroy it?” Strax asked.

Rose raised an eyebrow at him. He was an alien with few thoughts in his head, wasn’t he?

“Shut up, Strax.” Vastra said.

“Doctor. What is that?” Rose asked again as the Doctor looked mesmerized at the light.

“The tracks of my tears.” He answered with a voice that was far away.

The man scoffed at that.

“Less poetry, Doctor. Just tell them.” The man ordered.

The Doctor gave him a look that showed how much he didn’t like being ordered but pointed to the strings of light in front of him.

“Time travel is damage. It’s like a tear in the fabric of reality. That is the scar tissue of my journey through the universe. My path through time and space, from Gallifrey to Trenzalore.” He said.

He pointed his sonic at the light and the strings came to life as if they had just been asleep, moving and twisting as voices floated from them.

_ ‘Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension?’ _

Voices, so many different voices, all overlapping each other, all telling a different story. Different faces, the same man as he found his way through the universe.

_ ‘Do I have the right?’ _

_ ‘Daleks, Cybermen, they’re still in the nursery compared to us.’ _

_ ‘There are corners of the universe that have bred the most dangerous things.’ _

_ ‘You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.’ _ Her first Doctor, their last meeting.

His goodbye to her, before he regenerated. 

Her eyes prickled, all his life, everything he was, all encapsulated in hundreds of strings.

_ ‘I’m the Doctor. I’m from Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous.’ _ The Doctor she married, the one she promised her forever to.

_ ‘Hello, Stonehenge!’  _ A man who stole a magic box and ran away.

His story across time and space. Life and love and family and friendship.

“My own personal time tunnel. All the days,” His voice wavered and Rose turned to look at him.

She had been so enthralled by the beauty of the strings she hadn’t noticed how wary he looked. He looked like he was struggling to stand, his breathing becoming shorter and shorter. Rose went to his side as the whispers of time kept going and going.

_ ‘It was the daisiest daisy I’d ever seen.’ _

His victories. 

“Even the ones that I, er, even the ones that I haven’t lived yet.”

_ ‘If you think because she is gone, I am weak, then you understand very little.’ _

_ ‘Please, don’t do this.’ _

His defeats. His losses.

The Doctor collapsed, and Rose was immediately by his side trying to lower him gently to the floor.

“Doctor!” She touched his cheek, his skin was colder than normal.

“No, no. Which is why I shouldn’t be here.” He tried to explain. “The paradoxes. It’s very bad.”

The man stepped forward, reaching his hand towards the light.

“No. No. No. What are you doing? Somebody stop him!” The Doctor said as he tried to move.

“The Doctor’s life is an open wound.” The man said as he looked at the light. “And an open wound can be entered.”

“No, it would destroy you.” The Doctor tried to reason with the man.

The man looked with an amused smile at the Doctor.

“Not at all. It will kill me.” He said, and then his face contorted to one full of hatred. “It will destroy you. I can rewrite your every living moment. I can turn every one of you victories into defeats. Poison every friendship. Deliver pain to your every breath.”

The Doctor tried once again, and Rose held onto him. She felt so powerless.

“It will burn you up.” The Doctor said. “Once you go through, you can’t come back. You will be scattered along my timeline like confetti.”

“It matters not, Doctor.” The man said. “You thwarted me at every turn. Now you will give me peace, as I take my revenge on every second of your life. Goodbye. Goodbye, Doctor.”

The man turned back and stepped into the time stream, and the creatures that surrounded them vanished. There was a big flash of light, the energy tendrils going wild. The Doctor writhed in Rose’s arms, she could see in how much pain he was, the agony he was suffering.

_ There must be something I can do. _ She thought helplessly.

“What’s happening?” Rose asked as she turned to the Doctor’s friends.

Madame Vastra pulled a device from her pocket and scanned the tendrils, she stared at her readings with a hard expression.

“He’s being rewritten.” Vastra said. “Simeon is attacking his entire timeline. He’s dying all at once. The Dalek Asylum. Androzani.” 

All at once.

Time can be rewritten, it wasn’t a straight line, it changed every second. What she knew could be gone in the blink of an eye.

She stared at the strings shifting wildly in the middle of the room. 

_ I create myself.  _ The whole of time and space, and she saw everything.

“The Dalek Asylum?” Rose breathed out.

“Now he’s dying in London, with us.” Vastra continued, not really paying her attention.

“London, 1893.”

Bad Wolf hadn’t said created, she had said create, as in present. Constantly creating herself.

_ ‘It is done.’ _ The eerie voice of Dr. Simeon came from the timeline.

The time stream turned bright red as the strings twisted around. The ship shook around them, everything was collapsing.

“Dear Goddess.” Vastra said as she looked at the red light.

“What’s wrong?” Jenny asked.

“A universe without the Doctor. There will be consequences. Jenny, with me.” Vastra pulled Jenny to herself.

Rose turned to look at the Doctor, he was struggling to breathe and his face was contorted in pain. She caressed his cheek and smiled.

“The Dalek Asylum.” She said. “You said that I saved you. And Victorian London, you said so too. And the dreams.” 

The Doctor opened his eyes slightly, he tried to focus on what she was saying but he was struggling.

“No. Please, stop.” He said, he grabbed her hand and gripped it as tightly as he could.

“I have to go in there.” She said.

“Please, please, no.”

“This is why. I saved you once, I can do it again. You said it was impossible but I already left the messages to lead me here.”

She looked at the red strings and stood up. Her sight filled up with golden light, just like all the times she had felt the TARDIS inside her. She thought this was the strongest she had felt in a while.

“I destroyed an entire Dalek fleet, I took the entirety of Time Vortex and I pulled it into the Emperor’s head and turned him into dust. I can do this.”

Madame Vastra was still there, holding tightly onto Jenny.

“If I step in there, what happens?” Rose asked, because, well, if this was going to be the last thing she did she should know what would happen to her.

She saw Madame Vastra’s eyes widen, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“The time winds will tear you into a million pieces. A million versions of you, living and dying all over time and space, like echoes.” Vastra answered.

“The shadows.” Rose said. “They already happened.”

“You’re mad! You’re going to die.” Jenny said.

Madame Vastra checked her scan once more. “The stars are going out.” She said in a barely there voice.

_ The stars are going out. _ She remembered jumping between dimensions because she knew that they needed to save the universe, that finding the Doctor was the right call, that the universe needed him.

“There must be something we can do.” Madame Vastra said, as if to reason with Rose.

“I’m doing it.” Rose said.

She walked to the light, the singing in her head finally became clearer. There was no more pain, no more nausea. She could hear the whispers of the timestream calling out to her.

“No. Please.” The Doctor struggled.

“Don’t worry,” She said, trying to reassure him. “It was always meant to happen like this. You said it before, you don’t know how many times you’ve met me in the past. How many times you’ll meet me in the future.”

“Rose.” The Doctor said as he struggled to get close to her. “No.”

She turned to look at him and smiled.

“I want you safe, My Doctor.” She said and then winked at him. “Run.”

Rose jumped into the time stream and then she knew nothing. 

Everything was golden light.

“Rose!” The voice of her Doctor.

It was always golden light. And a song. Whispers across the infinite.

The whole of time and space. The sun and the moon, the day and night. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be. 

And it hurt. Breaking into million pieces.

Always running. A message.

She was floating in a sea of time. 

A million lives in a million places. Different lives, different planets, different times. Scattered.

_ Her Doctor. _

_ Run. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was long. Sorry for the delay, busy day. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I think it was one of my favourites. Also, little sneak peak into the sequel there.
> 
> I didn't rewrite the _Nightmare in Silver_ episode cause I thought it felt more like a filler than anything so here I am jumping to the final lap of this rewrite. We're getting close to the end.
> 
> **UPDATES EVERY MONDAY**
> 
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	14. The Memory of the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Name of the Doctor, part 2.

_ ‘Run.’ _

The Doctor’s timestream, once an angry red, started to turn a beautiful golden colour. He started to breathe more easily and his strength returned slowly as the seconds ticked by. He stood up as he looked helplessly at the energy tendrils that were finally calming down, they started to grow and float all over the room, bathing everything in golden light. It was like the dead TARDIS came alive with the song of time, little specks of light separating from the strings, each of them filled with the echo of a memory.

_ ‘How ‘bout I get yah a cuppa, then?’ _

He could feel it, the once locked memories returning in bits and pieces.

_ ‘You’ll be rubbish, travelling by yourself.’ _

He could see her face, always smiling at him, always kind. 

_ ‘What are  _ you _ running away from, Doctor?’ _

How many times had they met? 

_ ‘Run, Doctor.’ _

Different eras and even different planets, all across time and space. Meeting in Susan’s favourite dinner, the roaring 20’s, a party in the year 3000, an antique shop in London. She had always been there, helping him to find his way in the universe.

_ ‘Don’t worry, we’ll meet again. In another lifetime.’ _

He started to approach the strings of light, raising his hand to touch one that came close to him. Vastra grabbed his arm firmly.

“Don’t.” She said.

But the strings weren’t doing anything, they just radiated warmth and love, and covered them all in a calming aura that was oh so familiar. He felt the ghost of a pull, a touch of the minds. A gentle hand guiding him. Warm. 

Safe.

Rose had jumped inside his timestream and now she was scattered in million pieces across the universe like golden petals. Was she gone for good? Was he never going to see her again? Was this it? The atmosphere didn’t allow his dark thoughts to develop, it soothed his worries away and left him feeling hopeful. 

Vastra relaxed her grip on him, the atmosphere probably starting to work on her. Jenny was looking around her in wonder and even Strax seemed the most calm the Doctor had seen him ever in his life.

The pull was calling him to the center of the room, like a siren’s call. He knew it was dangerous, he really shouldn’t touch his own timestream, paradoxes and all that, but the call was reassuring.

He stood in front of the golden column, waiting, not really knowing what to do, what it wanted from him. And then Rose was falling into his arms unconscious. He caught her with an incredulous laugh of relief and picked her up easily. She was breathing slowly and she was slightly cold, but she was alive and in his arms.

“Rose.” He said as he kissed her forehead. “My Impossible Girl.”

\-----

Lizzie spent a day inside the small space she had hid, her face against her knees and doing her best not to make a sound.

She didn’t know how long she stayed there but she had been in the same position for so long that when she finally moved her body hurt and it was difficult to stand. She left the tiny space after a few hours, still not believing she was safe. She winced at the light coming from the tiny gap that showed her the outside world. She pushed the entrance and it opened with a creaking sound.

She looked around herself as she practiced how to breathe normally. The whole room was trashed, a few chairs were broken and the table was tipped over. There were holes on the walls from where Strax’s shots had landed and there was blood on the floor.

Lizzie felt bile burning up her throat. She wanted to throw up, so she did.

She coughed as she struggled to catch her breath. Death had a particular smell, pungent and it stuck to everything around it. She had smelled it when Rose had finally died in those early hours of the morning on that winter day. It felt like a long time ago.

She was alone. 

They were gone. Her family was gone.

She wasn’t crying anymore– she was sure she had no more tears left to cry– but her hands were trembling.

She went outside the room. It was such a contrast, the destruction and death against the sheer normality of the house.

She walked to the kitchen, the remains of the shortcake she had baked with Jenny was now filled with flies and the tea cakes were now stale. She threw the food away and left the dishes in the sink. She would have to clean them soon. She gathered everything to clean and returned to the destroyed room.

The smell was the worst. The combination of her vomit and Jenny’s blood making it almost impossible for her to be there without remembering everything that had happened. 

Lizzie spent a day cleaning the room. 

She threw away the chairs that were no longer useful, it took her awhile but she also returned the table to its rightful place. She scrubbed the rug clean until her hands hurt and she got blisters. She thought of her mother. When she had been living she made Lizzie clean the small house they lived in until she deemed it clean enough, if she thought it was still dirty she would hit her so hard her vision filled with spots of light.

Slowly but surely, she did her best to return the room to its original estate. After that she went to the kitchen and washed all the dishes that had contained the food that had gone bad and threw away all the garbage.

It was dark outside when she finished, how long had she been awake? She was tired and a little bit hungry, but the thought of food only brought sickness to her stomach. She looked at her nightgown, it was sodden with her own vomit and the blood that had managed to seep through her clothing. She felt her eyes prickle and her throat burn once more. She took deep breaths and decided to get rid of the clothes and have a bath.

Lizzie filled the bathtub with hot water. She threw the nightgown away and thought about how mad Jenny would be if she saw how she had ruined her clothes. She shook her head, Jenny would get mad for a bit but then she’d sigh and tell the Madame that she needed new clothes. She lowered herself in the hot, almost scalding water. It stung but the cold that had settled in her bones was finally going away.

She scrubbed her skin raw trying to clean everything from the past two days until she thought she couldn’t smell anything but soap on her. As she felt her body finally becoming warm she noticed she was crying again, she tried to stop herself but it only made her sobs louder. Was this it?

Once the water was cold, she left the bathtub and changed into a new nightgown. She didn’t go to her room to sleep but to Madame and Jenny’s room. She didn’t know why but her room felt lonelier than Madame’s room.

It was warmer inside this particular bedroom, there were a few plants and the ceiling had some kind of yellow light that came from the Madame’s civilization. It was bigger than any of the rooms in the house. Madame Vastra had explained that because she was a reptile she needed to be in warm places and that was the reason she spent most of her time in the garden during winter.

The bed was big, with cream coloured sheets and fluffy pillows. She climbed in and didn’t sleep. Her eyes hurt but she wasn’t able to close them.

_ What’s going to happen to me? _ Lizzie thought. Was someone going to come for her and take her to the orphanage? When would someone notice that everyone was gone and she was alone in this big house? She lay there, her head racing, looking out the window how the night turned into day.

The morning of the third day she heard a sound she thought she would never hear again. A metallic groaning that meant death.

She left the bed, not bothering to put on her slippers and ran to the outside almost tripping with how fast she was going. She saw a big blue box appear in the yard from thin air.

She remembered the box. She remembered the Ice monsters and the snowmen and the cold. She remembered the man that had come from it with Rose in his arms. She remembered the smell of death.

Was he bringing the bodies of her broken family?

She stood in front of the box, her hands tightly gripping each other as she felt her eyes prickle. She wasn’t going to cry. Not again.

The door opened and Jenny stepped out of the box.

Alive.

“Jenny!” She cried out and ran towards her.

Jenny did the same and caught Lizzie in mid air as she threw herself over at her.

“Lizzie!” Jenny said as she engulfed Lizzie in a warm hug.

This time the tears left her eyes and she didn’t fight against them. She could see Madame Vastra and Strax coming a little bit slower from the box but the Madame did catch up to them and hugged them.

“You’re alright.” Madame said in a sweet and firm voice that Lizzie couldn’t help to believe her.

Lizzie cried so hard she couldn’t breath and Jenny held her through it all in a tight hug.

Strax came beside them with a huge smile.

“You’re alive, boy!” Strax said and Lizzie thought he sounded happy. 

She laughed. They were alive! Her family was alive!

And then a man in dark clothes came out of the box.

A man she recognized. A man that brought death wherever he went.

A man holding a blonde unconscious girl. 

_ Rose _ .

\-----

They all went inside the house, all the while Lizzie never let go of Jenny’s hand. 

The man looked contrite, holding the girl that looked exactly like Rose close to him without sign of wavering.

The Madame showed the man a guest room and told him that that was where he was going to stay for the foreseeable future. The man tried to argue.

“She’s fine,” He said. “She’ll wake up soon.”

The Madame looked at him like she didn’t believe him.

“Still.” She said. “You’re not in any condition to take care of her or yourself until she wakes up.”

He looked like he was going to keep on arguing, flapping his arms around but the Madame only raised a hand and looked at him with one of those looks that said, Do-Not-Mess.

“You helped us.” She said with a kind but firm voice. “Let us help you.”

The man shut up and nodded obediently. He went inside the guest room, lay the girl on the bed and closed the door. The Madame shook her head but didn’t say anything else.

Lizzie stayed close to Jenny the whole time gripping her hand like her life depended on it. Once the man was gone Lizzie relaxed. 

The man and Rose stayed inside the room the rest of the day. 

Lizzie looked up to Jenny and went to hug her once more. Jenny returned the hug immediately.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Lizzie only shook her head against Jenny. Jenny stayed silent for a moment and then asked, as if she was afraid to hear her answer.

“How long have we been gone?”

Lizzie looked up.

“Three days.”

Jenny’s hand went to her mouth and then Madame intervened.

“Have you eaten anything since we’ve been gone?”

Lizzie only shook her head.

“We have to remedy that right this moment.” Madame Vastra said and Jenny nodded.

Jenny regained her composure and said. “Yes, come on.”

The three of them went to the kitchen, Strax was already up and about in his routine but Madame and Jenny stayed close to her the entire day. They ate something that was easy for her stomach and Jenny made her drink two glasses of water in front of her before she relaxed once more and smiled.

“Sorry it took us so long to come back.”

Lizzie shook her head.

“It’s alright. You kept your promise.”

They didn’t abandon her. They came back.

The Madame and Jenny only left her side as they went to clean themselves and put on night clothes. Jenny made her change again, Lizzie tried to argue, telling her she had just changed the night before but Jenny said they could just wash it again.

Jenny tried to get her into her bed but Lizzie just held her hand harder.

“Can I sleep with you?” She asked with a shaky voice.

She didn’t want to be all by herself right at the moment, not after everything. Jenny smiled at her kindly.

“Yes.” She nodded and they went hand in hand to her room.

Madame raised an eyebrow at her but she smiled. She was placed in the middle of the bed, between Madame and Jenny. It was warm and she felt safe. It was like the past few days crashed against her and she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

She fell asleep instantly. 

\-----

It had been two days already since their return to the Paternoster house. Jenny and Lizzie were already calm enough to start to return to their normal routines, and Vastra thought she was ready, too.

The Doctor hadn’t moved from the girl’s bedside at all since they arrived, not leaving the room for longer than a few minutes. It had been a good idea to force him to stay with them. Jenny had cooked simple meals for the past few days and Strax was tasked with taking them to the Doctor. Most of the time the meals went untouched except for a bite here and there.

It was the fourth day of this routine when Vastra called the Doctor to the garden and asked Jenny if she could prepare some tea for him and something else for her. Jenny nodded and went to the kitchen, Lizzie following closely behind. And to think she had been so close to losing all this.

Jenny and Lizzie made tea and a carafe with a red beverage together before retiring to the library and leaving Vastra for her meeting with the Doctor.

The Doctor entered the garden a couple of minutes after.

“I thought I would have to drag you from the room myself.” Vastra commented.

The Doctor shook his head and did a show with his hands.

“No need. Here I am.” He said airily.

His posture was somewhat relaxed but he didn’t sit down or take the tea that was offered to him. Of course he wouldn’t.

Vastra looked at him seriously. She thought of the past few days, of Lizzie’s eyes as they had been taken by the Whisper Men, of the spotless meeting room and the junk outside in the yard, of the dirty nightgown thrown in the garbage. 

“Doctor, I need you to tell me.” She said with a firm voice.

She wouldn’t have Lizzie live through something like this ever again. The Doctor stopped his fidgeting and looked at her.

“Are we safe?” She asked.

The Doctor sighed and finally took a seat in front of her. He wriggled his fingers together and put his elbow on his knees. After a few seconds he looked into Vastra’s eyes and answered.

“Yes.” He said. “I don’t think my enemies will target you ever again.”

Vastra felt the tension leave her body and nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Vastra grabbed the carafe and served a glass with the red liquid. She gave a sip to her glass and then looked at the Doctor.

“Are  _ you _ safe?” She asked. “Is Rose?”

“I don’t know.”

Vastra stared calculatingly at him.

“What is she? Is she human?” She asked.

The Doctor tensed slightly. Vastra could see a storm in the Doctor’s eyes, the way his thoughts muddled and darken.

“A hybrid.” He said with a voice that was uncharacteristic of him.

Vastra raised an eyebrow, there was something about the subject that made the Doctor queasy, she could tell just from the way he stayed completely eerily still.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“She’s the heart of the TARDIS.” He said like it explained everything. 

It didn’t. Vastra continued looking at him until he finally relented.

“She’s a literal human-TARDIS hybrid. When she was nineteen she looked into the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the entire of the Time Vortex in her head. It changed her, and created a connection between the TARDIS and her.” He said. “I still don’t know the extent of it but I can tell you they’re connected.”

Vastra nodded, impressed. A hybrid. Quite a remarkable young girl, if she had to admit. But what was it that made the Doctor so anxious?

“With what happened, will she remember anything that happened in the shadows’ lives?” Vastra asked.

She was curious, she realized. Lizzie had only seen this Rose in passing and Vastra thought that Lizzie would probably want to talk to her when she woke up.

The Doctor shook his head.

“I don’t think so.” He answered.

“Good.” She said and then in a good-naturedly tone of voice said. “Now, please, go clean yourself up, I’m tired of seeing you like this.”

Vastra did a gesture with her hand, telling him to leave. 

“But–” the Doctor tried to argue but Vastra stopped him.

“If she wakes up, we’ll call you.” She said.

\-----

Rose woke up slowly, like she had been underwater and was now floating slowly to the surface, the singing of the TARDIS beaconing to consciousness.

She had been dreaming. Fantastical dreams of different lives, meeting her Doctor over and over again. Running, always running. And as she woke up, the dreams she had stayed as just that, dreams. Nothing more.

She tried to move and groaned. She didn’t want to wake up, not yet, she wanted to keep dreaming just a bit more, but the TARDIS became an insistent presence in her head and she relented. She rubbed her face and opened her eyes.

She was in a room she didn’t recognize. It wasn’t as spacious as her room in the time ship and that’s when she realized there was no familiar humming of the TARDIS in this place. She wasn’t on the ship.

Rose looked around her once more, she was alone, she noticed. She tried and managed to sit on the bed with a groan, she felt weak. Why?

Everything crashed all at once. The creatures, the Doctor’s grave, jumping into his timestream, breaking up in a million pieces, golden light. She tried to remember what had happened during her Shadows’ lives but she only came up with scattered images and broken voices. Her head hurt and she pressed her hands to the side of her head. The TARDIS sang soothingly, and Rose let the ship calm her down. Maybe it was the ship’s way of telling her that she wasn’t meant to remember any of that.

She heard the door creak and looked around once more. She saw a little girl looking intently at her from the small gap to the bedroom.

“Um, hello?” Rose said.

Her throat felt hoarse and she tried to clear her throat. How long had she been out?

“There’s water on the bedside table.” The girl said.

Rose looked around and found out that it was true. She grabbed the glass and drank.

“Thank you.” She said.

The girl nodded but didn’t move from where she was, she looked unsure and Rose relaxed and gave her a smile.

“Come in.”

The girl looked happy with that and went to her side. She sat in a chair beside the bed and stared at Rose with a frown in her face.

“Are you Rose?” She asked.

Rose was a little taken aback but recovered quickly and answered.

“Yes? And you are?”

The frown in the girl’s face grew deeper.

“You don’t remember me?” There was a slight shake in her voice.

Rose thought the girl’s face was somewhat familiar, like she had seen it before, maybe in a dream. A dream full of ice monsters and people-eating snowmen. She searched through her memories but she couldn’t grasp from where the girl was familiar, she only had broken bits and pieces that didn’t make sense. Maybe this girl knew one of her shadows.

Rose could see the disappointment in the little girl’s face and she hated breaking the illusion she had.

“I’m sorry.” She answered softly. “I don’t think I’m supposed to remember.”

The girl nodded and then said. “I’m Lizzie.”

Rose smiled.

“Hello Lizzie.”

Rose looked around her again, the place had a vintage vibe to it, everything made of wood and fancy decor, but everything was brand new. 

“Umm, where am I?” She asked.

“13, Paternoster Row.”

So, London. Rose nodded. That still didn’t explain why she was there? And where was the Doctor? His friends? Was everyone all right?

“Right.” Rose said as she kept searching for clues that would answer anything of her questions. “Probably a stupid question but, what year?”

Lizzie looked at her like she had gone crazy but answered. “1893.”

Rose nodded again and relaxed a bit. This was probably the house of the Doctor’s Victorian friends. She looked at Lizzie again.

“So this Madame Vastra’s house.” Rose concluded.

“Yes.”

“You live here?” Rose asked.

She had never heard about a child being part of the Doctor’s friends.

“Yes. The Madame and Jenny are my mums.” Lizzie looked so happy when she said this Rose couldn’t stop herself from smiling.

“That’s great.” She said.

The door creaked once more and the Doctor appeared in the entryway. Lizzie looked startled, she tensed in the chair beside her and stood up. She left, running without saying as much as goodbye.

“You’re awake.” The Doctor said as he came into the room. 

His eyes were wide with shock.

“You’re alive!” She thought she matched his own shock.

He went immediately to her side and went to grab her hand but stopped himself. His aborted movement weirded her out. He arranged the chair closer to the bed and sat down, he fidgeted and when Rose realized he wasn’t going to speak first, she said.

“What happened?”

The Doctor looked at her, his eyes betraying his worries.

“How much do you remember?” He asked.

She tried to recollect everything but again came mostly blank.

“I jumped into your timeline and then,” She said. “Golden light.” She felt a shock of pain that travelled through her eye and then it was gone. “I can’t remember.”

He nodded and relaxed.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to remember.” He said. “Those are the memories of thousands, maybe millions of shadows of yourself. It would burn you if you remembered.”

“How am I alive?”

“Could be that the TARDIS protected you, could be that Bad Wolf had something to do with it. Infinite outcomes, all happening at the same time, and this is the result.” The Doctor was looking anywhere but her. 

She frowned.

“What aren’t you telling me?” She asked.

He looked at her for a second and then at his shoes.

“I remember them, most of them at least. The times we met before we met.”

He remembered the Shadows.  _ How many pieces of me are scattered across the universe? _ Rose wondered.

“Right.” She said.

This time she did her best to move and even though she still felt weak she went to hug him. He held onto her tightly, almost leaving her without air.

“I thought I lost you.” He whispered into her hair.

“Never.” Rose said, completely sure of herself.

“Don’t do anything like that again.”

She gave a soft laugh.

“I’ll try.” She said.

“Jeopardy friendly.”

They separated again and the Doctor stood up, clearly looking for something to do.

“Why are we in London, 1893?” Rose asked.

The Doctor frowned.

“Lizzie told me.” She said, pointing at the closed door.

The Doctor turned to look at the door and then nodded.

“Well, had to take Madame Vastra and the rest back home and then they insisted that I couldn’t take care of myself so I had to stay.”

Rose frowned.

“How long have I’ve been asleep?” Rose asked.

“4 days, 5 hours and 36 minutes.”

“That is so creepy.” She said and then. “Wait, 4 days?!” 

She didn’t know why she was that surprised. She had literally jumped into the Doctor’s timestream without knowing what the consequences would be. But, when she had opened the heart of the TARDIS she hadn’t passed out for that long.

She frowned and eyed the Doctor.

“Did you eat while I was sleeping?”

“I did.” Her frown deepened. “I did! You can ask Jenny and Strax.”

She looked at him for a moment more and then nodded. The Doctor pouted at her and went to sit on the bed.

She could see in his eyes everything he had experienced in the past days. The pain and grief and love and wonder. He put his hand on her cheek and she put her hand above it. His slightly colder skin gave her chills.

He put his forehead over hers and closed his eyes. She closed hers, too and then she felt it, the soft telepathic touch of their minds.

“Doctor.” She said breathless.

His presence was soft and inviting. She opened her mind to him and she felt it, the teasing of a bond. A marriage bond. She gasped. It was different from other times, it was done more consciously instead of being an accident. He didn’t back down but he also didn’t let it continue to create.

“I’m not asking you,” He said, “not right now, I mean, but I’m going to ask soon. I’ll wait, I’ll always wait for you. My Impossible Girl.” 

Did he really mean it? Was he really asking her? He separated a little and she chased after the feeling. She opened her eyes and saw the Doctor staring intently at her, his eyes full of emotion.

“I want that.” The Doctor said.

Rose stared at him with wide eyes, not really sure if to believe it. He nodded, and made his presence in her head just a little bit more insistent and then retreated.

She smiled and felt her eyes prickle. She started to nod.

“Yes,” she answered. “I want that, too.”

She laughed, she couldn’t help it and then threw her arms over his neck and hugged him like her life depended on it. His arms around her felt solid and warm.

“I love you.” She said into his shoulder.

“I love you, too, Rose Tyler.”

\-----

The Doctor climbed on to the bed after Rose insisted she needed to cuddle to get better. They stayed like that, holding each other close in silence, the Doctor relishing in her proximity, until Strax interrupted their moment with food after 1 hour and 5 minutes.

Rose frowned at Strax, she had been already fast asleep when he entered the room with an obnoxiously loud greeting. She looked at the Doctor with an adorable pout that said ‘can-I-ignore-this-and-go-to-sleep-again?’, but the Doctor merely laughed at her grumpiness and jumped up from the bed, making Rose’s frown grow deeper.

“Mean.” She said.

The Doctor smiled at her.

“Boy! I see you’re finally awake!” Strax said as he left the tray of food he was carrying on the bedside table.

If looks could kill, Strax would be dead. 

“I’m not a boy.” She said, clearly annoyed.

“Boy, girl, whatever.”

Rose rolled her eyes. She stretched with a groan and finally started to wake up.

Strax took out his medi-scan from one of his pockets and proceeded to make a complete scan of Rose. The Doctor stood fidgeting and hovering over Strax until he finally said.

“Everything seems in order, you’re as healthy as a horse.” Strax said. “Stupid human saying, really, since horses are nothing like humans.”

And with that the Doctor completely relaxed. He already knew that Rose was alright, he had checked over and over again during the past few days, but hearing it from somebody else helped him to finally let go of the last of his worries.

“Hmm.” Strax said as he checked his medi-scan.

“What?” The Doctor asked.

“What a weird composition, are you sure you’re human?”

“Alright, Strax! Thank you very much for your help!” The Doctor said and pushed Strax out of the room.

Rose laughed from the bed. 

“At least something good came from that.” Rose said and the Doctor raised an eyebrow at her. “Food.”

Everything was going to be just fine.

\-----

Lizzie had been feeling much better since everyone was in the house making loud noises. After the first two nights the Madame insisted that she return to her bedroom, and Lizzie did so with only a small complaint. Still, that didn’t mean that she liked being by herself right in that moment, so she spent her days between helping Jenny with the household, asking the Madame with help for her homework, and bothering Strax with his tasks.

After visiting Rose– or the girl who looked like Rose, Lizzie still didn’t understand that– she ran to Jenny and asked her to help in anything. It was weird seeing a woman that looked like her friend, acted like her, talked exactly like her, and had her not remember her. Somehow she got the feeling they were the same person. Lizzie and Jenny were now in the kitchen making tea, preparing multiple trays to take over the house. They were in their own world when they were interrupted.

The man with the dark clothes went into the kitchen with a loud greeting saying something about Rose had finally woken up and she was still hungry since the last meal Strax had taken to the room was just a light snack. 

Lizzie tensed and took a couple steps closer to Jenny. Jenny raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t say anything and turned to look at the Doctor with a polite smile.

“We were just making tea.” She said.

The man smiled. “Excellent. Much appreciated. Do you have any Jammy Dodgers, by the bye?”

Jenny answered with a huff and a no, like she was used to the man’s antics and the man left the room with a pout.

Lizzie relaxed as soon as she no longer saw the back of the man from where she stood. Jenny turned to look at her again, a question painted in her face.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

Lizzie shook her head and turned to the trays, placing cups in each of them.

“Who is that man?” Lizzie asked instead of answering.

“He’s the Doctor. He’s a friend of ours.” Jenny answered with an easy smile.

Lizzie frowned.

“I don’t like him.” She said.

Jenny looked at her with wide eyes.

“You don’t?”

Lizzie shook her head again. “He only brings death.”

Jenny stayed silent after that. They finished arranging the trays and Strax came to pick up the one that was going to be taken to the guest room. Jenny took another tray to the garden for the Madame and Lizzie took theirs to the library.

By night time on the fourth day, the man and Rose were finally getting out of the room and saying their goodbyes.

Lizzie stayed by Jenny’s side as they walked the couple to the yard. 

“Thank you all, again. The Gang saves the day, just as always.” The Doctor said. “I’ll see you sometime soon, I guess.”

“Hopefully without incidents.” Madame Vastra said with a teasing smile.

“We’ll see.” He said.

Lizzie looked intently at Rose, who turned to look at her like she had felt Lizzie’s eyes on her and smiled. Lizzie separated a little from Jenny as Rose approached.

“I’ll see you, soon. Alright?” Rose said.

Lizzie nodded and hugged Rose. Rose was startled but she caught up quickly and returned the hug. It felt exactly the same as she remembered, familiar and safe, the same perfume with the smell of roses, the same warmth. They were the same, Lizzie realised. This Rose didn’t have any of the memories of  _ her _ Rose. She didn’t remember playing with Lizzie when she was younger, making tea together, taking care of her when Justice was gone, but, but she felt absolutely, undeniably Rose.

The words she had wanted to say ever since that Christmas Day left her throat easily, surrounded by warmth and roses.

“Thank you.” Lizzie said into the hug. “For taking care of me.”

\-----

Rose and the Doctor finished their goodbyes and entered the TARDIS hand in hand. The ship greeted her with cheerful hum and twinkling lights, like she had been gone for far too long to her liking.

“I missed you too.” She said softly to the ship.

She felt calmer once inside the time ship, like she hadn’t been right until she was back home. The Doctor turned to look at her with a fond smile and pulled her towards the center of the room. He hadn’t let her out of his side since she had woken up, and she didn’t know how to feel about that but it brought warmth all over her body. He pulled a lever and the room filled with the familiar metallic groan, sending them floating into the Vortex.

“So! Where do you want to go now? All time and space.” The Doctor said.

Rose gave a small laugh, she took her free hand to her ear and played with her earring.

“Actually, ‘m still kinda tired.” Rose said. “You mind if we took a couple of days off?” She asked.

“Your wish is my command.” He nodded.

But when Rose tried to pull away towards the hallways, he didn’t let go of her hand.

“Umm.” She said and when the Doctor didn’t react she looked pointently to their intertwined hands.

“Right! Yes!” The Doctor looked flustered and still didn’t let go of her hand. 

Rose bit her lip as she tried to fight off her smile. This Doctor was really silly.

“Let me take you to your room.” The Doctor said, as a sort of compromise of not letting her out of his sight.

Rose rolled her eyes at him but didn’t argue and let him walk her to her room, she had something in her mind, something that wouldn’t let her rest and she needed to get at least some answers.

“I saw you,” She said, slowly. “All of you.”

He didn’t say anything nor did he turn to look at her, so she continued.

“There were twelve of you.”

He tensed beside her.

“I thought this was your eleventh body.” She said, and that was what was bothering.

He didn’t say anything but looked at her with troubled eyes.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said.

But she couldn’t. She was worried.

“Doctor.” She said. “I don’t think this is the end of it.”

The Doctor didn’t say anything but he stopped and approached her. He gave her a small, sad smile and kissed her forehead with tenderness. Rose hid her face on his chest as she hugged him.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Hope and Glory, Mutt and Jeff, Shiver and Shake.” He said lightly and Rose did her best to believe him.

They kept walking and she did feel a little bit lighter after voicing her worries. The humming of the TARDIS sounded excited in the background and the corridors looked somewhat more illuminated.

They reached her door but the Doctor didn’t let go of her hand. She felt herself flush up to her ears and her stomach flip.  _ What’s going on? _ she thought. She was an adult, for fucks sake! Why was she reacting like a bloody teenager?

“Umm…” She eloquently said.

The Doctor was fidgeting nervously in front of her, a hand going to the back of his ear as he looked everywhere but her. And then the blue door in front of her own opened. Both of them turned to look at it. It wasn’t like she hadn’t known that it was the Doctor’s door but, well, now it was clear that it was. She felt a mischievous push inside her head and she turned to look at the ceiling with a raised eyebrow. The TARDIS was being meddlesome.

“I didn’–” The Doctor started to say.

Rose rolled her eyes and kissed him to shut him up. His arms flailed around and then she was being held as close as possible to him, her arms sneaking over his shoulder as she held on for dear life. She ended the kiss with a tongue touched smile.

“Shut up.” She said as she pulled him into his room.

\-----

The Doctor looked at Rose’s sleeping form as he thought about the past few days. Her back was turned to him and her chest raised slowly with her breath.

A dream. It was all a dream, he was sure of it. 

Although, he wasn’t sure his mind was that great to create this fantasy. Images from the night before flashed in his head and he groaned a little. He was a lecherous old man and he should definitely stop with that train of thought. He felt lighter than he had felt in centuries. His past worries seemed insignificant to the fact that Rose Tyler was there, with him, in his arms, sharing a bed. She snored slightly and he couldn’t help but get closer to her. He kissed the exposed skin of her shoulder lightly, hoping that she wouldn’t wake up. He didn’t want a grumpy Rose in his hands right after the best night of his life.

She looked so young and peaceful as she slept. How long had Rose been in his life? How long would she stay? The TARDIS hummed around him and the Doctor wondered if she had always known that Rose was coming.

Rose stirred and finally opened her eyes. She looked around herself before finally landing her gaze on him and smiling. The Doctor smiled back, her smile was contagious.

“‘ello.” She said with a sleepy voice.

She stretched a bit, the bedsheet moved a bit leaving her shoulders free and she turned to face him.

“Your human self did the same, you know. Be creepy and watch me sleep.” She said teasingly.

“Oi!” He said, not really bother by it.

She laughed, that melodic laugh of hers and the Doctor couldn’t help himself as he kissed her. She was soft and pliant and maybe he should stop before he got carried away and never left this bed in his life again. She smiled at him, a twinkle in her eyes that said she wouldn’t mind where his mind was going. 

Right. Stop. Bad Doctor.

“Rose Tyler.” He said. “It seems like you’ve always been there.” 

“What d’you mean?” She asked.

“I wondered for a time now, the Zero Room smells like roses, the Rose Garden has always been there since I can remember, I met you even before I met you. How much did Bad Wolf see?”

“You talk like it was Destiny.” She said, a playful smile gracing her features.

“Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, who knows, definitely not me.” He said airily. 

And, Rassilon, he loved her. He loved her so much, he would go to the end of the universe to prove it. Her smile was so radiant it melted the ice inside his heart.

“Maybe I was always destined to meet you.”

She looked at him, her love probably reflected in his own eyes as she kissed him lightly.

He thought he may never feel cold again in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the Paternoster Gang B-plot, they will appear on the sequel but they're not relevant characters anymore. Also, I didn't write smut because it wasn't relevant for the plot and the fic was already way longer than what I had planned, so sorry I guess. Also, also, this is me setting the plot for the sequel in comments and future references.
> 
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	15. The Destiny of the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in no way related to the big finish audios Destiny of the Doctor. I just liked the title.

Rose woke up slowly surrounded by warmth and the smell of tea and time.

The sheets were soft and the pillows were different from what she was used to but they were still comfortable. She stretched a bit and groaned loudly, loving the firmness of the mattress, and rubbed her face against the pillow. She finally opened her eyes.

She sat, taking the sheet with her and looked around. She was alone, she noticed immediately but the side of the bed where the Doctor had slept was still slightly warm.

The bedroom was spacious and the bed was really big– although she thought it barely had any use–, with bookshelves and a reading chair, what looked like a door that went directly into the TARDIS wardrobe and a bathroom that was definitely bigger than hers. She noticed that there were different kinds of clocks decorating one wall, and all of them marked a different time, and a rack that had too many coats and a scarf that looked way too long to be anything but useless. There was also a desk with knick knacks and a really big mirror. This was the Doctor’s bedroom. Rose felt herself blush and smiled as she tried to hide her face against her knees. So many things had happened ever since she returned to her Universe but this had to be the one thing that surprised her the most.

She stretched and got up from the bed. She grabbed her knickers from the ground and put it on. She went close to the rack, maybe she would find something to put on and found there, casually resting against all the other coats, the Janis Joplin Coat her past Doctor used to wear.

She felt a pang in her chest and she grabbed it. It felt the same, the material and the weight was familiar on her hands. She hugged it close to her and smelled it. Tea and Time. Always the same.

She left the coat back and went to search for something to wear. Finally she found her hoodie under the duvet that was on the floor and put it on. Her stomach growled. Food sounded like a great idea right about now.

She left the bedroom and walked towards the galley. The sound of something frying and the amazing smell of food enveloped her.

She peered at the galley.

She found the Doctor dressed in his purple ensemble, only in his waistcoat and his shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He was humming and he looked quite happy, Rose tried to bite off her smile.

“Morning.” She said.

The Doctor startled and looked at her.

“Why are you up? I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed.” He complained.

“Were you?” She teased as she entered the galley and went to stand beside him.

“Yes, I’ll have you know, Rose Tyler, that I’m an amazing chef this time around. Much better than my last body, although he wasn’t that bad, the worst one was–”

She kissed him to shut him up. It didn’t take long for the kiss to grow heated and she had to push him off her so they would stop.

He smiled. “Yowza.”

She laughed.

“How about we eat first.” She winked.

\-----

It took a couple days for Rose to be able to stay awake more than a few hours, which made him worried. He had done a new set of scans, the TARDIS told him she was just exhausted and she needed rest, which made sense, he guessed. The scans also showed him that her cells had slowed even more in their aging, what did it mean, he didn’t know, but for now Rose would be around for a long time, a very long time.

So while she slept the Doctor stayed in the TARDIS searching for something to entertain himself. During that time he had tinkered with the TARDIS (twice), had gone into a Cybermen battleship and got a Cyberman head (it could be useful at some point, right?), and met a race of Lava people that wanted to destroy all the neighboring planets and stopped them.

He had changed out of his burnt clothes and was now at his desk while he watched Rose sleep. She had woken up to eat 5 hours ago before going back to sleep. He felt starving for time with her but he didn’t want to pressure her recovery, so he held himself back and enjoyed the few hours she had her attention on him.

He played with the two TARDIS keys that he had in front of him. The keys were numbered and right now he only had eight left in his possession. He hadn’t given one to any of his companions since Donna. Not the Ponds, not River, and Rose didn’t need a new one because she had her original one. 

He had been thinking for a while now, he wanted to be with Rose no matter what. He wanted to do something for her, an Earth costume: Propose. Which made him shudder a bit. Don’t get him wrong, he wanted that, but he could be a little bit scared at the same time. Well, a little bit a lot scared.

He stared at the keys again. They shone silver and he knew if he polished them they would look beautiful, with a barely-there blue reflection.

But. How to ask her? When to ask her? He annoyed himself with this question, the keys feeling heavier and heavier in his hand.

Rose sighed and murmured and then she was waking up. The Doctor hid the keys as fast as he could, almost throwing the scrap metal he had been working on before on the floor (what was it, again?).

She rubbed her eyes and sat on the bed, looking around her until her eyes landed on the Doctor and his working desk. 

She frowned.

“Why do you have a Cyberman’s head?”

\-----

Rose was still feeling weak after a couple of days so they stayed in the TARDIS while she regained her strength.

She had been staying in the Doctor’s bedroom ever since they left Victorian London and some of her stuff had started to appear there. Like the TARDIS was trying to merge their rooms together (the Doctor had been surprised too when it started so they both figured it was the ship’s fault). It had started with her bath products and her perfume and then some of her clothes. The room grew to give more space for her wardrobe and her vanity with her pictures with the past incarnations of the Doctor.

“We need to take some new pictures.” Rose had commented while looking at the pictures. “I don’t have any with this you.”

The Doctor had smiled then and kissed her cheek.

“Definitely.”

Still, Rose thought it might be a good idea to keep her room, just in case she needed some time alone. Not that there weren’t any other rooms in the  _ infinite _ space ship but being in that room brought memories that she didn’t want to erase. 

She was on the floor of her room, having cleaned most of it and put all her dirty clothes in the laundry bin.

She still had dreams of meeting other Doctors when she went to sleep. They were mostly broken pictures, but sometimes she thought she could hear his voice calling out her name. There was a particular dream that felt different though, one where there was a desert for miles and miles and a scorching sun that burned her skin. A dream where she could feel the echoes of the Doctor’s pain, of how tired he was. A dream where she wanted to save him.

She had found her old MP3 player while doing her cleaning. It was in great condition and when she turned it on she discovered it still had battery. She wondered if the TARDIS had kept her stuff somehow waiting, like she had always known she was coming back and time just stopped passing in this room. She was reminded of the last time she had used it, the Doctor had connected it to the TARDIS and had joked about ending in a Franz Ferdinand concert. 

She put on the earphones and lay on the floor. [The music from when she was nineteen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkKSeFiRGjc) started to play. She had grown out of the style but she still liked the songs and they brought back memories of her life before the Doctor.

Going out for drinks with her mates, dropping out of school, nights in pubs and karaokes, dressing up and going on dates. What would her life have been if she hadn’t met the Doctor? Back in those days she thought her life would never change. That she’d marry Mickey and then have kids and that she’d never leave the Powell Estate. That she’d be trapped there, just like her mum.

And then she met the Doctor and everything had changed.

She had been so young, so clueless about what the Universe had to offer. 

He said that maybe they were always destined to meet, that the TARDIS had always known. Had her life been dictated by the mistake she made when she was nineteen? She sighed, she didn’t regret it, they had been her actions and her decisions that led her to where she was now.

She felt her eyes grow heavy so she turned sideways and dragged the duvet off her bed. She lay on the floor and closed her eyes, losing herself in a world of dreams.

\-----

Rose woke up again in the Doctor’s bed. She buried her head in the pillows and tried to pull the bedsheets over her head but something stopped her. The sheets were being pulled out of her grasp and she sat on the bed. The Doctor was standing at the end of the bed, the sheets in one hand, fully clothed and looking at her with a smile.

“Good, you’re finally awake!” He said. “Come on, get ready, we’re going outside.”

She huffed.

“I need to take a shower first.”

The shower started in the Doctor’s room. She raised an eyebrow but the Doctor only smiled.

“Dress comfortably and put on running shoes!” He winked and left the room.

She went in the shower and noticed a change of clothes was waiting for her already. An old band t-shirt and a jean mini-skirt, very 2000’s. She finished her shower and dressed quickly, her boots and jacket were waiting for her outside the bathroom and the lights twinkled above. She raised an eyebrow at the ceiling and left the bedroom. 

She found the Doctor waiting for her with the bike parked near the entrance and holding her pink helmet. She gave him an impish smile, getting excited at the prospect of a ride after being mostly asleep for almost two weeks.

“Where are we going?” She asked while she grabbed the helmet.

He winked as she climbed in the back of the bike and hugged him close.

“It’s a surprise, Rose Tyler.”

The Doctor started the bike and the TARDIS doors opened as they drove towards the outside. Rose was greeted with the picture of a London night. 

“We’re in London?”

“Yes! London, 2005!”

She turned to look around her with wide eyes.

“Why?” She asked.

He didn’t answer.




The year she met the Doctor.

This had already happened. It was stupid, really, how she suddenly realised she had lived through this time already once. Right at that moment she was presumed missing back in the Powell Estate, her mum was waiting for news of her, Mickey was being accused of killing her. And out there, among the stars, a nineteen year old Rose was travelling across the stars with her Doctor.

She looked at the night sky, at the London landscape, at the city lights reflecting on the pavement, at the buildings surrounding them as they drove through the streets.

Rose looked at the people that passed her by, doing errands or going on dates, rushing to get from one place to another. This was the life she had expected to have. And now she travelled the stars.

It was  _ fantastic _ .

The Doctor drove until they arrived at the Alexandra Palace. Rose looked in wonder at the line of cars and the many people who were waiting outside to enter.

The Doctor parked and sonicked the bike, which made a car-lock sound. Rose laughed at his antics and grabbed his hand. The closer they got, the more she could feel herself getting excited.

“Franz Ferdinand’s last London concert of 2005.”

“Oh my God!” She hugged his arm jumping up and down.

They entered and they were surrounded by people waiting to be let in inside the venue.

“You’ll fit right in.” Rose commented with a cheeky grin. “Your entire hipster tribe is here.”

He gave her a pout but she ignored it, preferring to pull him to the side to look at the band shirts and the other goods.

After a while they entered the venue. People were talking loudly around them and it felt a little bit stuffy. It still hadn’t started but you could feel the excitement of the people in the air. The Doctor flashed his psychic paper to guards until they were let in the VIP zone, and even then it was still full of people.

“I remember wanting to go to one of their concerts so bad when I was nineteen.” Rose said in a loud voice.

“You are nineteen.” The Doctor replied.

She hit him in the arm.

“You know what I mean.” She said.

The Doctor nodded as the lights deemed slightly. He stood right beside her while the room was filled with colours and screams of anticipation.

“I was saving for their 2004 Academy Brixton concert.” She said softly, her voice would get lost amongst the rest of the people screaming. “I never went.”

He looked at her.

“Why?” He asked.

She went quiet while the rest of the crowd grew even more loud.

“Jimmy Stone happened, I guess.” She shrugged.

And then the music started. They were close enough to the stage and as the band played she felt like a teenager, overwhelmed by the screams surrounding her. It was loud and hot inside the venue, people trying to reach out to the band, girls the age she was supposed to be this year laughing and screaming and singing along every single song.

The Doctor was so close to her. She felt her heart thumping with the beat of the drums and the bass run through her body in shivers.

She couldn’t help herself. She jumped and sang and danced with the Doctor in the little space they had. She laughed and she bathed in the noise and the erratic energy of the people.

Confetti flew everywhere and the lights painted the people in different colours. Song after song, she felt all her thoughts disappear.

The band slowed down around the middle of their set, putting one of [her favourite song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ws50OwSgdQ) of theirs. She hugged the Doctor and hid her face against his neck, and was reminded once again that he was taller than her and that she had to stand in her tiptoes to do that. They swayed with the rhythm of the music and heard the people sing along in chorus with the band.

_ Leap yeah take an atmospheric _

_ Leap and let the jet stream set you down _

The lights, the people screaming around her. It was everything.

_ I could be there when you land _

_ I could be there when you land _

His arms were firm around her. 

She felt breathless, like oxygen couldn’t reach her lungs.

_ Could be there when you land _

She held herself even tighter against him and her eyes started to sting a little. Maybe it was the song they were playing, maybe it was just the memories overwhelming her, or maybe it was the fact that he had brought her here to make up for the fact that 19 year old Rose Tyler couldn’t go to a Franz Ferdinand concert without even meaning to.

_ So, Eleanor, put those boots back on _

_ Put the boots back on and run and run _

She laughed and jumped and dragged the Doctor closer to the crowd and the band and held his hand like it was the only thing preventing her from floating away.

_ Oh come on over here _

Every single decision in her life leading to the moment she met the Doctor. 

Running away with him.

Destiny.

_ Oh come on over here _

She kissed him, his hands holding her ever tighter. She ran one hand over the back of his neck while she held his shoulders with the other and felt him shiver.

_ Oh come on over here _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss concerts


	16. The Night of the Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Day of the Doctor, part 1.  
> The chapter has no relation to The Night of the Doctor webisode, I just liked the title. Also, I took some dialogue and descriptions from the Novelization of the Day of the Doctor.

Sand as far as the eye could see.

The scorching sun.

The howling of a Wolf.

_‘NO MORE’_

A soldier, begging to rest. 

Calling out for help. 

_‘NO MORE’_

Walking through the desert.

Death. 

Fire. 

War.

\-----

The Doctor looked at Rose’s sleeping form beside him. She was breathing calmly, her chest rising in a slow rhythm, probably dreaming. She had been sleeping in what was now _their_ room for the past weeks and he couldn’t be happier. 

It had taken her a couple of weeks to finally return to normal and now they were back to their usual routine of adventuring with the added bonus of going to bed in each other’s arms. 

He held her closer and felt her warmth seep into his bones, the skin to skin contact making her telepathic presence stronger inside his head. The slight scent of her perfume combined with her natural smell engulfed him and he wanted to stay there forever, surrounded by Rose. She murmured and sighed, she was just two hours into her sleeping cycle so he really shouldn’t bother her. With that in mind, he got out of the bed, took a shower and got dressed. Maybe he could plan their next stop in the meanwhile or could go exploring by himself.

He got to the console room as he finished arranging his coat. The lights flickered and the humming of the TARDIS sounded somehow apprehensive, like she knew something was about to happen. He looked at the column, going up and down lazily while she floated in the Vortex. 

_What aren’t you telling me?_ , he thought but the ship kept strangely quiet.

\-----

Rose drank from the boba tea she had bought earlier as she walked back to the TARDIS. 

She had gone Christmas shopping which, according to the date on the receipt, was still a couple of months away. She had decided to go alone since the Doctor had been quite clingy the past few days and while she enjoyed spending time with him she still needed a little bit of time alone.

The Doctor said it was fine and decided that contemporary London was good enough for shopping. Rose rolled her eyes at that but didn’t say anything else, at least he was letting her out of the ship. They got out of the TARDIS and the Doctor had sonicked an atm, which she felt a little bad about until he told her they weren’t stealing from anybody’s accounts. 

“So we’re not stealing, right?”

“Quite. The owner of the bank won’t even feel the dent.” He said with an impish twinkling in his eyes.

He left her with the money and a quick kiss and then she was by herself for the first time in three weeks. 

She walked for hours across the shops, buying things here and there, she even went to Henrik’s– not the one the Doctor had blown up, but still. Seeing the shopgirls arranging the clothes reminded her of her own experiences in that department, how she had hated that job, and how her life had changed one night. She remembered her mum, how she had said that the shop had given her air and graces and smiled. Well, in the other universe her mum had been a rich woman and Rose had been an heiress of an important company. 

How the turns have tabled. She had gone from Torchwood’s Director to Married Rich Old Lady and back to Rose not-even-a-quid-to-her-name Tyler. It was weird, now that she thought about it. She didn’t have anything that tied her to Earth anymore. Her family was gone and she could count the few friends she still had. Her whole life was in the TARDIS with the Doctor now.

Her phone started ringing and the name TARDIS appeared on the screen with a picture of the blue police box. She huffed but smiled. 

“‘ello.” She answered the phone.

“Rose! Ready to go?”

She looked down at her shopping bags and counted them. She had one for Mickey and for Martha, one for Sarah Jane, one for her son Luke, and one for the Doctor. She nodded to herself and chewed on the straw of the tea.

“Yep, where you parked?” She mumbled around the straw.

“Two blocks from your location, in front of the weird Chinese place with the picture of a robot in the window.”

“Of course you are.” She rolled her eyes.

She finished the tea, threw it in the bin and walked to the TARDIS. She was greeted with a hum and the doors opening as she approached the ship so as to not bother her with her shopping bags. She left the bags on the floor and heard the Doctor call out to her from the staircase. 

“Draught.” He was holding a book but she could see he wasn’t actually paying attention to it.

She rolled her eyes and clicked her fingers, and just like that the doors closed.

He eyed her and then broke into a grin. He closed the book and chucked it aside, the poor book falling to the deck below with a thump.

“Fancy a week in ancient Mesopotamia followed by future Mars?” He said casually.

She smiled back, keeping the playful mood as she approached the controls from the other side.

“Sounds fanciful, can we go to a party after?” She asked.

She loved going to parties with this Doctor, and the fact that he actually enjoyed them didn’t hurt.

“On the Moon.” He said.

“Sounds great.”

She laughed, went to his side and kissed him.

“Welcome back.” He said.

“I wasn’t gone for that long.” She rolled her eyes but smiled.

“I know.”

And then the TARDIS gave a powerful jolt and the lights started to blink with alarm. Everything shook and it felt like the ship was swaying from side to side, but that didn’t sound right. The Doctor ran to the monitor while Rose held onto the railings with all her might.

“What’s going on?” Rose asked.

“Whoa, whoa. We’re taking off, but the engines aren’t going.”

The Doctor went to the doors and opened them wide. That stupid alien didn’t know anything about safety. He was greeted by the London skyline and the sound of a helicopter above him. Rose went to his side, still holding onto the railing and peeked out. The TARDIS was being grabbed by a lifting grapple from a helicopter.

 _‘Windmill Eleven to Bad Wolf leader. Blue Eagle is airborne. Ready to receive. We’re on our way.’_ The megaphone on the helicopter was saying something but she couldn’t catch it because of the noise from the propellers.

The Doctor did his best to grab the outside phone and direct a call. He should really stop tinkering with the TARDIS, or maybe she should buy him a phone.

“I need to talk to Kate!” He screamed into the phone.

The person on the other side of the line said something and the Doctor answered. Could he even hear what the other person was saying? Rose wondered.

“No kidding.” The Doctor said.

He held the phone up towards the helicopter as they flew up the Thames.

 _‘Roger. New heading two zero seven. Changing course.’_ The helicopter turned and sent the Doctor out of the door. 

“Doctor!” Rose managed to move fast and grab hold of his feet as he was left dangling from the TARDIS.

The Doctor was still on the phone, which surprised Rose.

“Next time, would it kill you to knock?” He screamed over all the noise.

The TARDIS shook once more and Rose tightened her grip. 

“Hang up!” Rose screamed.

“Whoa! I’m just going to pop you on hold.” He finally let go of the phone and did his best to move around while still hanging.

He changed his position to hang onto the base of the TARDIS with his hands.

“Doctor!” Rose called out as she peeked over the doors.

When she saw that the Doctor was still holding onto the TARDIS she relaxed and looked up. She was surprised when she recognized where they were, Trafalgar Square. The Doctor finally dropped to the floor when he was close enough to the ground, and the TARDIS was immediately surrounded by U.N.I.T.’s personnel.

Rose got out of the TARDIS as soon as it touched the ground and went to the Doctor’s side. They found Kate looking a little sheepish and a woman with laboratory clothing and a really long colourful scarf that Rose thought looked really familiar.

Everyone saluted and the Doctor frowned at that.

“No saluting.” Rose says, annoyed.

From the sidelines Rose saw a particularly familiar soldier approaching them.

“Mickey!” Rose said, pleasantly surprised.

Mickey also saluted with a playful smile. 

“Ma’am.” He said and Rose groaned.

“Stop it,” She said. “You know I hate that.”

Mickey gave a small laugh, “Kinda nostalgic, don’t you think. Reminds me of our days back in Torchwood.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.”

“A’ight, Babes. Ready for some action?”

Rose rolled her eyes at his antics and turned her attention to Kate once more.

“Doctor, as Chief Scientific Officer, may I extend the official apologies of UNIT” Kate said, holding her coat closer to her.

“Kate Lethbridge Stewart, a word to the wise.” Started the Doctor. “As I’m sure your father would have told you, I don’t like being picked up.”

Rose snickered beside him and Mickey did the same. When the Doctor turned to look at them they both looked to the other side instead of him. Kate seemed to be in a hurry because she didn’t answer to his complaint and continued with her explanation.

“I’m acting on instructions direct from the throne.” She went for her pocket and took out an old looking envelope. “Sealed orders from her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the First.”

Rose turned to look at the Doctor with a raised eyebrow.

“The Queen? Elizabeth the First? When did you meet the Queen?” She asked.

The Doctor shrugged and grabbed the envelope.

“It’s all murky. Don’t remember much of it, really. I think I married her?” He answered casually.

“You what?”

“Her credentials are inside.” Kate interrupted.

The Doctor was about to break the seal on the envelope when Kate pointed back to the National Gallery.

“No. Inside.”

Rose frowned. Kate signaled the Gallery and the young woman with the scarf immediately went to her side, looking really comfortable around her.

The Doctor looked at the young woman and said. “Nice scarf.”

She looked close to hyperventilating. Rose bit her lip so as to not let her laugh escape. This was normal, people being impressed with the Doctor. Although, if she was honest, she hadn’t met that many of those. The Doctor raised an eyebrow at her as if she knew what she was thinking about, she once again avoided looking at him directly in the eyes.

“Right, I want a secure perimeter around the gallery.” Mickey said into his comm and then to Rose. “See you around.”

Rose nodded and made to follow the Doctor and Kate who were already headed up the steps to the Gallery.

Rose approached the Doctor and poked him in the arm.

“This sounds ominous.” She said.

“I know, exciting isn’t it?” The Doctor looked positively beaming and Rose couldn’t help but match his excitement.

It was kind of thrilling, being summoned by the Queen, from the past, via letter. And she had to admit she liked getting into trouble as much as the Doctor. They followed Kate a little behind as they walked through the pieces and expositions.

“So why is it that you can’t remember meeting Elizabeth the First? I know you have eidetic memory.” Rose asked.

“Love when you talk science-y to me.” He said.

Rose rolled her eyes.

“I think I may have blocked my own memories.” He answered.

“You can block your memories?” She asked, a little surprised.

“He never told you?”

“Well, no. I guess it never came up.”

Kate had finally stopped in front of a covered painting, Martha was there waiting for them right beside it, a pad and her mobile in her hands.

“Martha Jones!” Said the Doctor as a greeting. “Here for some fun?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She answered.

Two guards took the white sheet covering the massive painting and they removed it from above. The sheet dropped heavily to the floor.

Shades of red and gold depicting war and fire. 

Screams and explosions echoed inside Rose’s head, like a distant memory, like they were so far away. 

A painting of an alien Citadel on fire and under attack. 

Rose thought it looked familiar, which was impossible, she had never seen a city like that. Not only that, the oil painting was completely three dimensional. 

“Elizabeth’s credentials, Doctor.” Kate said.

The Doctor had gone completely still beside Rose and he had stopped breathing. He was as still as a statue and it terrified her. She touched his arm softly but he didn’t react, his eyes were glued to the painting in front of them.

“No more.” Said the Doctor in a quiet voice.

“That’s the title.” Kate said, clearly unaware of the change in the Doctor’s mood.

“I know the title.” He said in a really cold voice.

“Also known as Gallifrey Falls.” Kate continued.

“This painting doesn’t belong here, not in this time or place.” The Doctor said. “It’s the fall of Arcadia, Gallifrey’s second city.”

Rose stepped forward to the painting. Again, that feeling of familiarity seemed to envelope her. Had she been there before? But that wasn’t possible, she’d never been to Gallifrey.

“How is it doing that?” Rose asked, a little breathless.

“Time Lord art.” The Doctor answered. “Bigger on the inside. A slice of real time, frozen.”

“Elizabeth told us where to find it, and its significance.”

Rose felt a sting, similar to a needle crossing her eye. She winced, covering her eye, and then it was gone. She shook her head and turned around to see the Doctor, still hypnotized by the painting. She could see how much this was hurting the Doctor. She went to his side and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. The Doctor turned to look at her and she gave him a sad smile, returning her grip.

“Are you all right?” She asked with a soft voice.

“He was there.” He said, his eyes were so far away. “The other me.”

Rose frowned, not really understanding. 

She didn’t like the look he was giving her, it was like he was running away from her.

“You told me you saw twelve faces.” He continued. “Well, he’s the one I don’t talk about.”

\-----

_No more._

He was tired. The fight was leaving his body and he was just tired, every decision took him longer, every movement became slower. He was a broken soldier, he couldn’t fight anymore, he couldn’t take anymore orders, he couldn’t see anymore corpses.

He wanted to stop. He kept walking.

He wanted to go to sleep. He kept himself awake.

He thought he heard a wolf howling in the distance. That was impossible, of course, wolf’s were creatures of Earth and he was in Gallifrey. He was definitely hallucinating, maybe the last three sleep cycles he had skipped were finally taking their toll on him. 

The scorching sun was making his vision blur and the weight of the sack he was carrying seemed even heavier than before. He could feel the sweat of his back making his shirt cling onto him uncomfortably. He adjusted his grip on the sack and continued walking.

Maybe, after all of this was over, he’ll be able to sleep. Maybe even dream.

_No more._

He saw the barn in the distance, his final destination. And after that he would be able to rest, to lay down his head, to close his eyes one last time. Soon it would all be over.

He shifted the weight of the sack and entered the lonely barn. It had been abandoned for a long time, he noticed. The ceiling had holes everywhere and the sun came through them, bathing the place with its heat. He could see the specks of dust floating around the place, only disturbed by his presence.

He put down the sack and took out a golden inlaid clockwork box with a faint pink glow that came from the inside. It didn’t look technological at all, made from wood and gold, with detailed writings and delicate drawings. The gallifreyan writings didn’t make sense though, just broken words that no matter how you arranged them they still held no meaning, one only said Bad Wolf and another one Arkytior. He felt a stab in his chest he shouldn’t be able to feel anymore. 

The Moment. The Galaxy Eater. 

It was beautiful. 

He thought he didn’t like that, that a weapon made for mass destruction was so beautiful. Such a delicate box, such amazing craftsmanship. He touched the box and moved it around, trying to figure out how to use it. He used to be so much better with delicate things, with things that required a much more tender use. This body of his wasn’t made for that, it was made for war. He knew how to use any type of weapon but when it came to this particular box, apparently he couldn’t.

“How, how do you work? Why is there never a big red button?” He murmured to himself.

He wanted everything to be over. He was so very tired.

He just wanted to sleep.

Scuffling noises distracted him from his inspection of the box, he frowned. He had chosen this place because he knew it was completely abandoned, because no one would think of looking for him here, he had even parked the TARDIS so far away so he wouldn’t be easily tracked. He stood up and walked to the door cautiously. 

He opened it and found nothing, just the same lonely desert. Again, he frowned.

“Hello? Is somebody there?” He called out, feeling a little stupid while doing so.

He was only delaying the inevitable, distracting himself with noises that were only in his head. He closed the door but still didn’t turn to look at the box. Why was he doubting himself so much, this was the only way and he knew it.

“It’s nothing.” A voice answered behind him.

He jumped and turned. A young blonde woman was sitting on the clockwork box while looking at him with a cheeky smile. Her eyes were a deep hazel colour with light specks of gold that made him feel like he was looking into the windows of time itself. She looked at him as if she knew him deeply and intimately, like he was an open book she could just skim over if she wanted. Her eyes were too deep, too pretty. Too dangerous. She saw too much. 

_Beautiful,_ he thought.

“It’s just a wolf.” She said as if she had said something really funny and clever.

He shook his head and was suddenly irrationally mad at this girl. Because that’s what she was, a girl. She looked too young to be in a battlefield even if her clothes were just as battered as his.

“Don’t sit on that!” He said as he walked to her.

“Why not?” She asked, clearly confused.

“Because it’s not a chair, it’s the most dangerous weapon in the universe.”

He tried to grab her arm but then she wasn’t there, she had completely disappeared. Had she ever been there in the first place? The box was still intact, but the faint pink glow was gone. 

“Why?” The voice of the girl came from right behind him and he turned around to face her. 

But she wasn’t there anymore, she was back sitting on the box in front of him.

“Why can’t it be both?” The young girl asked. 

Her eyes once again engulfed him.

“How did yo–” He started asking.

“Why did you park so far away?” She asked, clearly not caring about what he had to say. “Didn’t you want her to see it?”

He frowned, it seemed it was the only thing he could do when talking to this girl.

“Want who to see?”

“The TARDIS.” She said, and her voice took an ethereal quality to it.

He thought he saw her eyes shine golden. Probably a reflection of the sun.

“Are you hiding from her?” She asked with a look that told him she already knew the answer.

She stood up, and started walking, going around him, circling him like a wolf to its prey, looking him up and down. He tried to stay away from her, to not touch her. Maybe she was a hallucination? Maybe he had gone mad and he hadn’t noticed until now.

“You walked for miles, and miles and miles and miles and miles.” She said, uncaring to his internal struggles.

“I was thinking.” He said sourly.

And then she was beside him, turning her head towards him, looking right into his soul. He could see how the specks of dust avoided her and her body exuded warmth. If this was a hallucination, it was a really convincing one.

“I heard you.” She said.

It took a while for his tired brain to understand what she was saying.

“You heard me?” He asked.

“No more.” She said, echoing his earlier thoughts. 

He felt like he was suffocating under the heat of the desert. He could hear the echoes of the shots and explosions. The screams of the people around him. The smell of the corpses. 

_No more._

“No more.” She said.

“Stop it.” He said.

He went to grab her hand but then she was standing in front of him, her hand stroking his cheek softly. It was warm.

He felt so cold.

“No more.” She repeated again.

“Who are you?” He asked.

He was done with this game, whether she was a hallucination or not, he had something to do. She gave him a sad smile.

“You called out to me.” She answered vaguely.

The clockwork in the box made a noise. A ticking, a count down to something. It was activating.

“Get out of here.”

He tried to take hold of the box but it burned him. He hissed.

“What’s wrong?” The girl asked.

“The interface is hot.” He answered, already much more annoyed at her than before.

“Well, I do my best.” She said.

“There’s a power source inside.” He started to say, why was he explaining this to the girl, he didn’t know, and then what she said registered in his head. “I said the interface was hot …”

“You did.” She nodded.

“And you said you did your best.”

“As indeed I do.”

He looked at the girl, suddenly out of words.

“You’re the interface?” He asked dumbly.

How? She was real and she was standing in front of him, her hand had been warm when she touched his cheek. He had heard that the Moment had a conscience, but he didn’t expect this. He didn’t expect it to be so real and he certainly didn’t expect it to look like a teenage girl with a London accent

The girl looked at him playfully.

“Hello.” She said as she waved at him. “Stuck between a girl and a box. Story of your life, Doctor?”

 _She knew who he was?_ He thought.

“I know you. I hear you.” Like she was answering his unspoken question. “All of you, jangling around in that old daft head of yours.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m just a memory. A message across the stars. A Shadow of what’s to come.” She said. “I’m the Bad Wolf.”

She got close to him, so close he thought he could smell faint trails of a roses perfume. Her eyes shone again an unnatural golden and now he was sure it wasn’t the sun.

“Are you afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Doctor?” She asked and again her voice changed and distorted.

He shook himself out of the weird spell she had on him. She was now standing right beside the box.

“I’m not the Doctor.” He said coldly.

“You are.” She said, so certain of herself. “If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

He glared at her but she only smiled.

“I’ve lost the right to be the Doctor.” He said.

Exactly. He wasn’t the Doctor, he was just another soldier in an unending war, one more corpse in a battle that wasn’t even his. He was a Warrior, not a Doctor.

Her sad eyes looked at him pityingly like she had heard his thoughts, and who knew, maybe she could. 

He thought he could get lost in those eyes, they really were beautiful.

“You plan to use The Moment and kill them all, Daleks and Time Lords alike.” She said. “There will be consequences.”

“I have no desire to survive this.” He said with certainty.

Her eyes were suddenly distant, as if she was looking at something he couldn’t see, and she turned her head as if she had heard something from far away. She was looking straight at the sun leaking from one of the openings in the ceiling. He irrationally thought that her eyes would get hurt.

And then she was right in front of him again, holding his head in both of her hands and looking directly at him. He wanted to turn away but her hands were firm and unmoving.

“Then that’s your punishment.” She whispered and he felt his body run cold. 

It was so cold, the heat of the desert completely forgotten. His hands were trembling and he wanted to run away. He stayed in the exact same position, looking at the eyes of the girl in front of him.

“If you do this, if you kill them all, then that’s the consequence.” She said.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was afraid. She saw too much.

“You live.” She whispered again and then she took a step back looking again at the sun, distracted by whatever was calling out to her.

He took a shaky breath, finally able to breathe now that she wasn’t close anymore.

“Gallifrey.” She continued. “You’re going to burn it, and all those Daleks with it, but all those children too. How many children are on Gallifrey right now?”

He thought he could hear voices and laughs, children running around, happy. 

Alive.

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly.

Screaming, crying, begging for help.

“One day you will count them all. One terrible night.” She said. “Do you want to see what that will turn you into?”

“No.” He answered, maybe too fast now that he thought about it.

He didn’t want to see what he would become. The monster he knew he already was. 

Her eyes shined golden. A crackling noise and a different light covered the barn.

A whirling portal opened right above them.

“I’m opening windows on your future.” She said simply, like it wasn’t a big deal. “A tangle in time through the days to come, to the man today will make you.”

Another noise and then–a fez dropped through the portal.

The girl beside him looked at it with a smile.

\-----

The Doctor’s grip on Rose’s hand tightened, her presence being the only thing that held him up.

“Why are you showing us this?” Rose asked, glaring at Kate.

“The painting only serves as Elizabeth’s credentials, proof that the letter is from her.” Kate said, all matter-of-factly. “It’s not why you’re here.”

The Doctor looked at the envelope in his hand. He broke the wax seal and unfolded the letter that was inside. Rose stood on her tiptoes, so as to look at what the letter had written.

_Doctor, I hope the painting known as Gallifrey Falls will serve as proof that it is the real Elizabeth who writes to you now. You will recall that you pledged yourself to the safety of my kingdom. In this capacity I have appointed you as curator of the Under Gallery, where deadly danger to England is locked away. Should any disturbance occur within its walls, it is my wish that you be summoned. Godspeed._

He frowned at the letter. When had he pledged himself to Elizabeth the First? Broken bits and pieces of a memory appeared in his head but they didn’t make sense, not yet at least. He better focus on what was happening in the moment.

“What happened?” The Doctor asked.

“Easier to show you.” Kate answered.

The Doctor and Rose followed Kate as she led them through another set of hallways. They didn’t notice Martha staying behind and answering her phone.

“Martha.” She looked around her confused. “I was just– Right, polite much. But why would I take it there?”

They entered another room. A metal shutter came down behind the Doctor and Rose as they stood in front of a painting on wood of Elizabeth the First herself. And next to Gloriana herself in the painting, in his usual pinstripe suit and wild sticky-uppy hair, was the Doctor as he looked in his past incarnation.

“When did this happen?” Rose asked.

The Doctor was just as confused as her if he was honest.

“A long time ago, it seems.” He said.

\-----

The Doctor walked with Elizabeth the First beside him. She had her arm intertwined with his as they strolled through the outside of the castle.

The Doctor had been in England, 1562 for a while now and he thought he was so close to solving the whole issue that was keeping him there. He had infiltrated the castle as his investigation took him right to suspect the Queen. He had managed to gain her attention, although he thought it was because she thought he was being suspicious.

“Tell me, Doctor, why am I wasting my time on you? I have wars to plan.” She asked.

“Oh, well.” He said with a theatrical grin as he rolled the last word. “I just have that sort of face.” Said the Doctor airly.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at him. He could see that she didn’t actually like him, but that she was more curious about him. Good, then maybe this charade would be over sooner than he thought.

“You have a duplicitous face, Doctor.” She said. “You’d be good at war.”

The Doctor tensed but immediately tried to wave it off.

“Me, nah. That’s not me at all.”

“You could help me.” Elizabeth insisted. “You’ve seen conflict, it’s as clear as day.”

The Doctor frowned. “Nah, not me. Not this face.”

They were getting close to the stables so he didn’t think it weird that a couple of horses were roaming around the place unsupervised.

He walked away from the castle while one of the horses followed them until he felt his machine start to work on his pocket. 

Finally.

He disentangled himself from the Queen and held out his newest clockwork gizmo. The white horse stood there looking at them.

“Ding!” The Doctor said as he stepped away from Elizabeth. “A-ha! I knew it! You’re not the real Elizabeth.”

“Excuse me?” She said indignantly. “Who do you think you are? And what in God’s good name is that?”

“It’s a machine that goes ding. Made it myself. Lights up in the presence of shape-shifter DNA. Ooo.” He distracted himself a bit looking at the monitor on his gizmo and then continued his explanation. “Also it can microwave frozen dinners from up to twenty feet and download comics from the future. I never know when to stop.”

“I do not understand.” Elizabeth said.

“Of course you do. You’re a Zygon.” He said accusingly as he pointed at her with his machine.

“A what?” She asked, looking honestly confused.

 _Huh, what a great actor_ , he thought.

“Oh, stop it. It’s over. A Zygon, yes. Big red rubbery thing covered in suckers. Think the real Queen of England would just decide to take a walk with any old handsome bloke in a tight suit, just cos he’s got amazing hair and–? Oh.”

No more white horse. Instead, there was the Zygon he was looking for.

“It was the horse.” The Doctor said, a little dumbfounded. 

The Zygon started to approach them menacingly.

“Right, your majesty, that is to say.” The Doctor started to say when the Zygon broke into a run. “Run!”

“What’s happening?” Elizabeth asked while running behind the Doctor.

“We’re being attacked by a shape-shifting alien from outer space, formerly disguised as a horse. Keep up!” He said, a little bit annoyed. 

Wasn’t it obvious what was happening? People should really ask better questions. They both ran into a ruined building and hid there. 

“What does that mean?” Elizabeth asked.

“It means you’re going to need a new horse.” He answered.

Elizabeth glared at him. Right, sometimes his jokes fell flat around this kind of person.

“Where’s it going?” She asked.

“I’ll hold it off. You run. Your people need you.”

“If this is a danger to my country, I need to know, Doctor. I am not going to hide.” She said stubbornly.

The Doctor did a face at her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort it out.” He said before jumping from their hiding place calling out to the Zygon.

Elizabeth ran through the trees while the Doctor did his best to lure the Zygon away from her. He had managed to get far away from the castle when he heard a scream. He ran towards the danger, his gizmo dinging a lot.

“Doctor!” He heard Elizabeth call out.

The Doctor found her lying on the ground but still breathing. He sighed, good, she was alive, no mucking up the timelines. He went to her side as she moved and helped her up.

“That thing. Explain what it is. What does it want of us?” Elizabeth asked seriously, the mask of a Queen falling easy to her.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out. Probably just your planet.” He said airily.

And then things got really complicated. A second Elizabeth walked up to them and the Doctor stared dumbly at the copy (was that the copy? Or was it the one beside him? Oh, he really didn’t like Zygons.)

“Step away from her, Doctor. That’s not me. That’s the creature.” Elizabeth Two– for identification purposes– said.

“How is that possible?” Elizabeth One said behind him.

The Doctor looked at his machine, that was furiously dinging away but saying nothing of use. The two Elizabeths were and his gizmo wasn’t working, not one of his best moments if he had to admit. He grew frustrated by the second and all he wanted to do was to shut them up.

And then a vortex appeared in the air right above them.

A shock of pain went through the Doctor’s head as his memories started to get mixed up. He was suddenly standing in a lonely barn in the middle of the desert during the worst day of his life and Rose was talking to him softly. But, she had never been there, they didn’t even know each other then. The pain dissipated quickly, like it had never been there. Why was he remembering her? Why now? It didn’t make sense. The fissure cracked again and was reminded of his priorities.

“Back, both of you, now! That’s a time fissure. A tear in the fabric of reality. Anything could happen.” He warned the Elizabeths.

Another crackling noise and red fez dropped out of the fissure. The Doctor frowned at it.

“For instance, a fez.” He said.

\-----

The portrait of the younger Doctor and Elizabeth was concealing a door that Kate opened with a code.

“This way.” Kate said as she kept walking. “Welcome to the Under Gallery. This is where Elizabeth the First kept all art deemed too dangerous for public consumption.”

The Doctor and Rose followed them until he felt something different. He looked down and scooped up a handful of the sand on the floor in between two rows of statues covered with dust sheets. 

He raised an eyebrow.

The woman with the scarf was still following them and after a few introductions he asked her for an analysis of the dust. He wondered vaguely where Martha was and why hadn’t she followed them. The woman–Osgood, she was called– left running and Kate hurried them down more hallways.

Further into the under gallery, the Doctor spotted a red fez in a display case. He took it out and put it on, turning to see Rose with a smile.

Rose huffed.

“You’re such a dork.” She said.

“Might be, but I am _your_ dork.” He said.

“Must be mad.”

They were finally led into another room, there was broken glass on the floor and alien ‘paintings’ along the white walls. There wasn’t anything else there, just the paintings, and apart from the glass it was actually really clean contrary to the sand in the corridors.

The Doctor held one of the pieces of glass against the light as he looked at it curiously. Kate handed him a pad displaying the original painting on it. And then a crackling noise distracted him. 

A whirling portal opened right above them.

“No, not now. I’m busy.” The Doctor said.

His head was a mess, his memories got mixed up. He was no longer standing in the Under Gallery, he was standing in front of a portal while two Elizabeths discussed behind him. No, that wasn’t right, he was standing in that barn and everything felt cold, Rose looking at him with a sad, sad smile. He turned to see Rose, his Rose, the one standing looking confused behind him. Rose wasn’t there that day, he didn’t remember her being there, what was going on? He looked at her confused.

“That doesn’t make sense.” He said.

“What? What’s that?” Rose asked.

The Doctor ignored her and looked back to the portal. This was supposed to happen, but why was it happening?

“Is it to do with the paintings?” Kate asked.

“No, no. This is different.” The Doctor answered. “I remember this. Almost remember.” He went to mess up his hair but touched the fez instead. “Oh, of course. This is where I come in.”

He threw the fez into the fissure.

“What?” Rose said, reaching out for him. “Doctor, wait.”

He didn’t. 

“Geronimo!” He called out and leapt into the portal himself.

\-----

And landed heavily on the ground. 

The Doctor looked around himself trying to orientate. A man in a pinstripe suit grabbed the fez from the ground and put it on, his hair fighting to be free from the constriction. 

Oh, this was no good. Not good at all.

In front of the Doctor stood a younger incarnation of himself and two Elizabeths the First. Meeting his other selves was never fun. They always wanted to prove why they were the best.

“Who is this man?” One of the Elizabeths asked.

“That’s just what I was wondering.” Said his previous incarnation.

He looked at his past self and winced. It was quite obvious now that that appearance had been chosen specifically to please Rose, he wanted to be someone she would be attracted to, and well, it worked, hadn’t it? Still, he thought he looked way better now.

“Oh, that is skinny. That is proper skinny.” He complained as he looked at himself. “Been a while since I’ve seen it from the outside. It’s like a special effect.”

The Doctor approached the Other Doctor once he saw where his fez had landed.

“Oi!” He grabbed the fez, messing the Other’s hair even further.

Much better. Really, his past incarnation was not good with hats, that hair had a mind of its own and it didn’t like hats. The Other Doctor widened his eyes and looked at him incredulously.

“You’re not.” The Other started.

They both got out their sonic screwdrivers, the same noise echoing each other even if it was a different model. His was bigger and better, obviously.

“Compensating.” The Other raised an eyebrow at him as he pocketed his sonic.

“For what?” He asked, a little bit insulted.

The Other did a gesture with his head and dragged a ‘well’. He really used to use that word a lot, didn’t he?

“Regeneration. It’s a lottery.” The Other said.

 _Oh, so that’s what it’s going to be like_ , the Doctor thought, _Measuring sonics._

“Oh, he’s cool. Isn’t he cool? I’m the Doctor and I’m all cool. Oops, I’m wearing sandshoes.” The Doctor mocked him.

The Other looked insulted. 

Good.

“What are you doing here? I’m busy.” The Other said, pointing behind him.

“Well, yes, I was wondering that myself. Why am I here?” The Doctor said.

The Doctor straightened himself, going into business mode and the Other rolled his eyes at him. The Doctor saw the two copies of the Queen of England standing there looking at them like they had gone completely crazy. Two Elizabeths? Why couldn’t he remember this? Which was wrong, they were already crazy from the beginning. He put on his fez and turned to the two Elizabeths.

“Hello, ladies.” He said with an overly exaggerated bow.

“Don’t start.” The Other complained.

“Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business.” He tried to placate him, but that didn’t sit well with him.

Also, he remembered vaguely about marrying Liz One but it didn’t make sense for him to be flirting with the Queen. Like that whole thing was just an elaborate lie. That incarnation of his had been the most flirty one, but he had never done anything beyond that. He had been too hung up on Rose, and then just too hurt.

“It’s not like that and you know it. One of them is a Zygon.” The Other said.

“Right. Problem with the Zygons. It rings a bell.” The Doctor said.

“Really?” The Other asked, sounding surprised.

“No, not really.” He shook his head and the Other rolled his eyes.

And then a crackling sound. The time fissure reappeared above them. 

They both put on their glasses, then noticed each other.

“Oh, lovely.” They both said at the same time.

At least they could agree on something, even if it was just the fact that they both wore glasses.

“Your Majesties. Probably a good time to run.” The Doctor said.

“But what about the creature?” Both of the Elizabeths asked at the same time. Creepy.

“Elizabeth, whichever one of you is the real one, turn and run in the opposite direction to the other one.” The Other ordered, quickly coming up with a plan.

Both of the Elizabeths looked at each other with disdain and left running in opposite directions.

‘Doctor?’ Rose’s voice came out of the fissure and the Other beside him tensed. 

Oh, that could be a problem. 

The Doctor hurried to the fissure and tried to stop Rose from talking. What would he even say? Oh, yes, Rose returned because when she was Bad Wolf she saw that something would happen and we needed help? Yeah, he better stop that.

“Ah, hello, Kate? Can you hear me?” He called out to the fissure.

‘‘m not Kate.’ Rose answered and he could practically see her frowny face. She was so cute.

Right. Bad Doctor, concentrate.

“Kate!” The Doctor said urgently.

The confused voice of Kate came from the fissure a moment later.

‘Yes, Doctor. I’m right here. Where are you?’She asked.

“Where are we?” The Doctor asked the Other, who looked suspiciously at him.

“England, 1562.” The Other answered with a raised eyebrow.

‘Who are you talking to?’ Kate asked.

“Myself.” They both answered.

‘Can you come back through?’

“Physical passage may not be possible in both directions. It’s– Ah!” He took the fez from his head. “Hang on. Fez incoming!”

The Doctor threw the fez and the fissure cracked. They waited a few seconds and then.

‘Nothing came from the fissure.’ Kate said.

“So where did it go?” the Other asked as he messed his hair even further. “Okay, you used to be me, you’ve done all this before. What happens next?” He asked while pointing at the fissure.

The Doctor shook his head.

“I don’t remember.”

“How can you forget this?” the Other said pointing at the both of them.

“Hey, hang on. It’s not my fault. You’re obviously not paying enough attention.” He took out his sonic from his pocket. “Reverse the polarity!”

They both aimed their sonic screwdrivers at the fissure.

And nothing happened. 

Well, that was anticlimactic.

“It’s not working.” The Doctor commented.

“We’re both reversing the polarity.” The Other rolled his eyes at him.

“Yes, I know that.”

“There’s two of us. I’m reversing it, you’re reversing it back again. We’re confusing the polarity.” The Other said, clearly getting tired of all of his.

“Well stop then.” The Doctor frowned at him.

“ _You_ stop!”

“No, _you_ stop!”

The Doctor reached for the Other’s screwdriver and in the same moment the Other tried to grab his. As they struggled against each other, the time fissure started crackling and from it another figure dropped. 

Both of the Doctors startled as they looked at a face they thought they would never see again.

An Old Man in tattered clothes and a tired stance waved the fez the Doctor had thrown into the fissure.

“Anyone lose a fez?” The Old Man said.

The Doctor stood still, looking at the Old Man’s face with revulsion. It was weird to say he wasn’t as familiar to that face as he was to the one beside him. During those years he had only seen his face once or twice in reflections that couldn’t be avoided. He had hated looking at himself so he had broken every single mirror in the TARDIS.

“You.” The Other said, clearly thinking along the same lines as the Doctor. “How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here?”

“Good afternoon.” The Old Man said like he hadn’t listened to his counterpart. “I’m looking for the Doctor.”

“Well,” the Other said, rolling the word. “You’ve certainly come to the right place.”

“Good. Right. Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course. Are you his companions?” The Old Man asked, clearly trying for a good-naturedly tone of voice.

“His companions?” The Doctor asked, feeling insulted.

“They get younger all the time. Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor?”

They both held up their sonic screwdrivers and activated them.

“Really?” The Old Man said perplexed.

“Yeah.” The Doctor said.

“Really.” The Other continued.

“You’re me? Both of you?”

“Yep.” The Other said.

“Even that one?” The Old Man pointed at the Doctor.

The Other tried his best to not wince at him while he nodded.

“Yes!” The Doctor said.

What was it that two of his incarnations thought he didn’t look the part? He was the oldest one, he was the most Doctor-ish Doctor of the lot.

“You’re my future selves?” The Old Man asked, clearly still surprised.

“Yes!” The Doctors said in unison.

“Am I having a midlife crisis?” The Old Man approached them and they pointed their sonics at him as a reflex, taking a clear step back. “Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They’re scientific instruments, not water pistols. Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”

They both looked at each other and pocketed their sonics, a little embarrassed.

“Still, loving the posh gravelly thing.” The Other said, clearly making fun of him. “It’s very convincing.”

“Brave words, Dick van Dyke. One of us had to let go of the accent, and it was not going to be you, was it?” The Doctor said annoyed.

Then a troop of soldiers appeared, led by a nobleman on a horse, all of them pointing their weapons at the three Doctors.

“Encircle them.” The nobleman ordered the soldiers. “Which of you is the Doctor? The Queen of England is missing. I would have the Doctor’s head.”

They all looked at each other awkwardly.

“Well, this has all the makings of your lucky day.” Said the Old Man.

A voice came from the fissure spooking all of the soldiers and making the three Doctors jump slightly.

‘Doctor?’ Rose’s voice came from the fissure.

“What is that?” One of the soldiers asked, a terrified look on his face.

The soldiers approached, ready to stab them or something similarly stupid as that. The Doctors pointed their sonics at them.

“Oh, the pointing again. They’re screwdrivers! What are you going to do, assemble a cabinet at them?” The Old Man said, clearly irked.

The nobleman pointed at the fissure. “That thing, what witchcraft is it?”

And then a lightbulb lit up in the Doctor’s brain. Great idea.

“Ah, yes. Now that you mention it, that is witchcraft. Yes, yes, yes. Witchy witchcraft. Hello? Hello there. Excuse me. Hello!” The Doctor screamed at the fissure, hoping that Kate would answer instead of Rose. “Am I talking to the wicked witch of the well?”

‘Why am I the witch?’ Rose asked annoyed. 

The Doctor saw once more his counterpart tensing. Oh, he didn’t have time for that. The Other would probably think he was imagining things (just as he had done when he had encountered the Shadows in the past).

“Wicked Witch, would you mind telling these prattling mortals to get themselves begone?” The Doctor said into the fissure.

‘Right.’ Rose cleared her throat, getting ready for an act. ‘Begone mortals.’

Well, that was kind of disappointing.

“Yes, tiny bit more colour.” The Doctor said.

He could practically feel her stare through the fissure even if he wasn’t able to see her.

‘‘m gonna kill him.’ Rose muttered. ‘Prattling mortals, begone or I’ll turn you all into frogs!’

“Ooo, frogs. Nice. You heard her.”

‘Doctor, what’s going on?’ Rose asked, annoyed at being left behind.

“It’s a timey-wimey thing.” The Doctor answered.

‘‘Course it is.’ She said.

“Timey what? Timey-wimey?” The Old Man said.

“I’ve no idea where he picks that stuff up.” The Other said, trying to escape the wrath of their previous counterpart.

One of the Elizabeth appeared from the woods and the soldiers all fell to their knees.

“You don’t seem to be kneeling.” The Queen said. “How tremendously brave of you.”

“Which one are you? What happened to the other one?” The Other asked.

Elizabeth gave him a cold look.

“Indisposed. Long live the Queen.” She said. 

“Long live the Queen.” The soldiers echoed her words and then the nobleman ordered.

“Arrest these men. Take them to the Tower.”

The Doctors tried to defend themselves.

“That is not the Queen of England, that’s an alien duplicate.” The Other tried to reason with the soldiers.

Another lightbulb.

“No, hang on. The Tower.” The Doctor interrupted. “Did you say the Tower? Ah, yes, brilliant. Love the Tower. Did you hear that, wicked witch?”

‘Stop calling me that if you know what’s good for you.’ Rose answered and he smiled.

“Breakfast at eight, please. Will there be Wi-Fi?” The Doctor said to the soldiers, moving his hands around.

‘You’re sleeping on the sofa, you hear me.’ Rose said.

The Doctor frowned. Oh, that wasn’t good, he didn’t like that.

“Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?” The Old Man asked.

“Yes.” The Doctor said with a flourish of his hands. “No. I demand to be incarcerated in the Tower immediately with my co-conspirators Sandshoes and Granddad.”

“Granddad?” The Old Man said.

“They’re not sandshoes.” The Other complained.

“Yes, they are.” The Old Man said.

“Silence. The Tower is not to be taken lightly.”

\-----

They were transported to the tower in chains. The Warrior was frustrated by the men who called themselves the Doctor, they acted more like children, arguing and fighting like 5 year olds. He sighed, he was getting a headache. 

He turned to look at them, studying the men he would become. The one in the pinstripe suit and Sandshoes looked as annoyed as he was while the one with the Bowtie was very quiet, the entire opposite from a moment ago.

“You’re very quiet.” He asked Bowtie.

“They tied my hands.” Bowtie answered and tried to move his hands again, he frowned when he met the constraints and gave up.

“Alright, so who were the women talking from the fissure?” Sandshoes asked, already done with the silence apparently. “And why do you want us in the tower? Do you even have a plan?”

“I might have a plan.” Bowtie answered with a shrug.

Sandshoes huffed, frustrated.

“Look, I like plans. Love a plan, me, I’m made of plans. But I’d really like to know what this plan is, because in case you haven’t noticed, we’re all about to get our heads cut off!”

Bloody hell, they really could talk out of their elbows.

“At which point,” He said, tiredly, “is there the slightest chance either of you will stop talking?”

They did fall into silence after that, until they were put on the tower.

“Come on, you lot, get in there.” The warder said, leaving and shutting the door behind him. 

Bowtie didn’t pay notice, he searched the floor of the cell until he found a piece of metal bar and started scratching on a stone pillar.

“Three of us in one cell? That’s going to cause some nasty anomalies if we don’t get out soon.” Bowtie said.

“What are you doing?” Sandshoes asked.

“Getting us out.”

He tried to use his sonic screwdriver on the door. _Wood_ , He thought annoyed, He really should get a wood setting.

“The sonic won’t work on that, it’s too primitive.” Sandshoes said.

“Shall we ask for a better quality of door so we can escape?” Bowtie joked.

He got comfortable on the bench of the cell while Sandshoes reclined against another pillar.

“Okay, so the Queen of England is now a Zygon. But never mind that.” Sandshoes started, he really couldn’t shut up, could he? “Why are we all together? Why are we all here? I’m asking you, Granddad, me and Chinny, we were surprised, but you came looking for us. You knew it was going to happen. Who told you?”

“ _Chinny?_ ” Bowtie asked indignantly.

And then she appeared. Standing there between the two Doctors was the Moment, Bad Wolf, smiling and holding a finger to her lips.

“Don’t you remember? You’re supposed to be me.” He asked them, avoiding the answer.

“Course I don’t remember.” Sandshoes scoffed. “Our timeline is tied in a knot in this room, our memories are all over the place. You know how this works. Selective amnesia. You meet yourself, you don’t retain any memories till the trigger event repeats.”

“Oi, Chinny?” Bowtie asked.

“Yeah, you do have a chin, mate.” Sandshoes.

Bowtie was still scratching his message, not really paying attention to anything else unless it involved him directly. Like making fun of his appearance, apparently.

“In theory,” The Warrior began as he sonicked the door once more. “I can trigger an isolated sonic shift among the molecules, and the door should disintegrate.” He said.

“We’d have to calculate the exact harmonic resonance of the entire structure down to a subatomic level. Even the sonic would take years.” Sandshoes said.

“No, no, the sonic would take centuries.” He sighed. “Oh, we might as well get started. Help to pass the timey-wimey. Do you have to talk like children? What is it that makes you so ashamed of being a grown up?” 

They both stopped completely. He hadn’t noticed how they always seemed to be moving even when they were still. Endless energy. 

This was the opposite. 

“Oh, the way you both look at me.” He said, a smile in his face even when all he felt was cold. “What is that? I’m trying to think of a better word than dread.”

Silence. Tension. Guilt.

Both Doctors started to move again. Sandshoes playing with his sonic while Bowtie continued his scratching. Bad Wolf looked between them, that pitying look she had given him before, gracing her beautiful features once more.

He was again aware of how much he hated that, how beautiful she looked when she was meant to be destruction and death.

“It must be really recent for you.” Sandshoes said.

“Recent?” He asked.

“The Time War. The last day.” Bowtie said. “The day _you_ killed them all.”

Sandshoes looked with anger at Bowtie.

“The day _we_ killed them all.” Sandshoes said.

“Same thing.” Bowties responded.

Bad Wolf stood in the middle of his other selves, looking at them. Her hazel eyes an array of emotions he couldn’t understand.

‘It’s history for them.’ She said softly. ‘All decided. They think their future is real. They don’t know it’s still up to you.’

She appeared at his side, caressing the side of his face. He closed his eyes, the point of contact the only thing that felt warm on his cold body.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He said, answering the girl.

“You’re not talking about it. There’s no one else here.” Sandshoes said annoyed, obviously not aware he wasn’t talking to him.

‘Go on, ask them.’ She said. She was so close, he wished she was even closer. ‘Ask them what you need to know.’

He rubbed his face and opened his eyes.

“Did you ever count?” He asked.

“Count what?” Bowtie answered with a question.

“How many children there were on Gallifrey that day.”

He felt so cold, so tired. He just wanted all of this to be over. Return to that barn in the desert and end it all.

Bowtie stopped his scratching and silence reigned in the cell. 

“I have absolutely no idea.” Bowtie finally answered.

He frowned at him.

“How old are you now?” He asked.

“Ah, I don’t know. I lose track. Twelve hundred and something, I think, unless I’m lying. I can’t remember if I’m lying about my age, that’s how old I am.” Bowtie said and resumed his scratching.

“Four hundred years older than me, and in all that time you’ve never even wondered how many there were? You never once counted?” He asked.

“Tell me, what would be the point?” Bowtie countered back.

Sandshoes looked at him with a look full of rage.

“Two point four seven billion.” Sandshoes said in a cold voice. “You forgot? Four hundred years, is that all it takes?”

Bowtie turned to him.

“I moved on.” Bowtie said.

“Oh, no, I don’t think so.” Sandshoes approached Bowtie and grabbed the decorative medallion he wore. “How is this moving on?”

The Warrior frowned. What did a medallion have to do with anything? But apparently they both understood what Sandshoes meant since Bowtie took it back roughly and pointed to the other’s tie.

“Hey! What about you? Nice tie, by the way.” Bowtie said mockingly.

“Stop it, just tell us,” Sandshoes said, irked. “Where can you be now that you can forget something like that?”

“I healed.” Bowtie said and turned around to continue scratching his message.

“No. No, no, no. For once I would like to know where I’m going.” Sandshoes grabbed his arm to turn him around.

“Of course you would, you’re a control freak.” Bowtie snapped back.

He was perplexed.

“I don’t know who you are, either of you.” He said. “I haven’t got the faintest idea.”

Bad Wolf moved around them.

‘They’re you.’ She answered him. ‘They’re what you become if you destroy Gallifrey. The man who regrets,’ she caressed the Doctor in the pinstripe suit face softly. 

He must have felt something because a shiver ran through his body and he turned to look at the place Bad Wolf was, not really seeing her. Pinstripe messed his hair even further and then rubbed his face. He now realized how tired that Doctor looked.

‘And the man who forgets.’ She looked at the Doctor in the bowtie. 

Something had broken. Something that will never heal, no matter how fast he ran away. He could see that in their eyes.

‘The moment is coming.’ Bad Wolf said as she stood in front of him. ‘The Moment is me.’

He looked between the two Doctors.

‘You have to decide.’ She said.

“No.” He answered.

“No?” Sandshoes raised an eyebrow at him.

“Just, no.” He said.

Bowtie laughed then as he finished his writing on the pillar.

“Is something funny? Did I miss a funny thing?” Sandshoes asked.

“Sorry. It just occurred to me.” Bowties said. “This is what I’m like when I’m alone.”

They all turned to look at each other and burst out laughing.

That was different. He hadn’t laughed in so many years that it felt foreign to him.

‘It’s the same screwdriver.’ Bad Wolf girl said with a cheeky smile and a sparkle in her eye. ‘Same software, different case.’

And that’s when it hit him.

“Four hundred years.” He said softly.

“Sorry?” Sandshoes asked.

He held out his sonic at the other two, a plan forming inside his head.

“At a software level, they’re all the same device, aren’t they. Same software, different case.” He said.

“So?” Bowtie asked.

“So, it would take centuries for the screwdriver to calculate how to disintegrate the door. Scanning the door, implanting the calculation as a permanent subroutine in the software architecture and, if you really are me, with your sandshoes and your dickie bow, and that screwdriver is still mine, that calculation is still going on.” He said, trying to make it really obvious for them.

Sandshoes held his sonic and held it close to his face while he searched through the subroutines.

“Yep, still going.” Sandshoes said.

And then a ding came from Bowtie’s pocket. He took out his sonic and opened it.

“Calculation complete.” Bowtie said.

‘Same software, different face.’ Bad Wolf said, smiling brightly at him.

Bowtie was already bouncing from one place to another, moving his hands around wildly.

“Hey, four hundred years in four seconds.” Bowtie said excitedly. “We may have had our differences, which is frankly odd in the circumstances, but, I tell you what, boys. We are incredibly clever.” 

And then a face he didn’t expect came rushing through the door. 

A blonde girl kicking the door open and nearly falling face first into the cell.

A blonde girl that looked exactly the same as the girl beside him.

“How did you do that?” Bowties said, clearly having expected her.

“It wasn’t locked.” She said simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changing my update schedule again since my job has become really hectic recently. **UPDATES SUNDAYS.**


	17. The Day of the Doctor

Rose tried to figure out what was happening while she heard the echoes of the conversations coming from the fissure. 

The Doctor had said he was talking to himself so she knew she wasn’t imagining things, that had been the voice of her previous Doctor. But how? Why? She did her best to pay attention even when the feeling of déjà vu repeated over and over again in her head. She shook her head and tried to focus. The conversations were ridiculous, mostly a sonic measuring contest, if you catch her drift. She rolled her eyes and kept listening.

“The Tower of London, he keeps repeating that. Isn’t that your office?” Asked Rose as she turned to see Kate.

Kate’s eyes widened.

“Dear God, that man’s clever.” Kate said as she started to pull her mobile from her pockets. “Come on.” She motioned for Rose to follow.

Kate guided Rose through a new set of hallways while she made call after call. They left the Gallery and climbed into one of the black vans waiting for them.

“More trouble?” Mickey said as Rose sat beside him.

“You know it.”

“Where’s the Doctor?” He asked.

“1562.”

“Right.” Mickey nodded. “Of course he is.”

Rose pinched him and they both laughed.

Kate was still on the phone but raised her eyes at them. They arrived at U.N.I.T.’s HQ rather quickly. Kate climbed out of the van and Rose followed closely behind through corridors she didn’t recognize from the last time she had been there. This time, each of the hallways had more protection than the previous one, soldiers and codes and retina scans. They also became darker and more metallic.

“The Doctor will be trying to send us a message.” Kate said into her phone while walking purposely through the hallways. “We’re looking for a string of numerals from around 1550, approximately. Priority One. I’m going to need access to the Black Archive.” Kate said and hung up.

Finally they arrived at a metal corridor with such great security Rose was surprised a space gun hadn’t appeared out of nowhere Edna Mode style to shoot her because she wasn’t authorized personnel.

“The Black Archive.” Kate explained as a guard opened the heavy metal door with a special key. “Highest security rating on the planet. The entire staff have their memories wiped at the end of every shift. Automated memory filters in the ceiling. Access, please.”

They accessed the Black Archive.

“Lock and key?” Rose asked. “Bit basic, innit?”

“Can’t afford electronic security down here. Got to keep the Doctor out. The whole of the Tower is TARDIS-proofed. He really wouldn’t approve of the collection.”

“He must hate this place.” Rose said.

“He does.” Kate smiled mischievously.

Rose smiled back. Now that she had more time with her, Rose thought she might actually like Kate. She kind of understood why Kate had been so apprehensive about her when they met, she would also be surprised if someone that was supposed to be in another universe with no way to come back suddenly stood in front of her.

“So why are you letting me inside?” Rose asked.

“You have a top level security rating as the Doctor’s current companion.”

_ Not really a companion, anymore, _ Rose thought annoyed. What were they, anyway? Partners? Nope. Boyfriend and girlfriend? God, that sounded so childish for them. They hadn’t actually said anything about putting a name on their  _ thing _ but the Doctor had said that he would ask, one day, soon.

“Right.” Rose said.

The place was full of metal racks with labelled boxes and technology that she didn’t understand. The painting of Arcadia they had seen before in the National Gallery was also there among the rubbish. They probably moved it after they left, since leaving a 3D oil painting in a place where normal people entered wasn’t a good idea. There was machinery all over the place and a small room in the middle with a window looking into it. 

In the small room, on a metal table, was Jack’s vortex manipulator.

She’d never thought she would ever see that again. It felt like a proof that her past in this universe was real even if there was so little left of it.

“Is that–?” Rose started asking.

“Time travel.” Kate answered. “A vortex manipulator bequeathed to the UNIT archive by Captain Jack Harkness on the occasion of his death. Well, one of them.”

“Wait, you know about Jack?”

“We screen all his known associates. We can’t have information about the Doctor and the TARDIS falling into the wrong hands. The consequences could be disastrous.”

“Does that mean you screened me in the past?” Rose asked confused.

Kate didn’t answer but looked a little rueful; Rose glared at her. Now she wasn’t so sure about liking Kate anymore. They entered the room with the time vortex and Kate got her mobile out once more.

“Okay, so we use this to rescue the Doctor.” Rose said.

“I’m not sure there’s enough power for a two-way trip.” Kate said conversationally. “In any event, we don’t have the activation code. The Doctor knows we have this, so he’s always kept the code from us.” 

Rose thought it was a good idea since who knew what a government agency would do with that kind of technology. She thought about the Sycorax who were leaving the planet and had been shot down from the sky. That had been Torchwood, but still.

“Let’s hope he changes his mind.” Kate said.

Her phone rang loudly in the small room.

“Yes?” Kate answered. “Well, if you’ve found it, photograph it and send it to my phone.”

Good. They were now one step closer to helping the Doctor. 

Kate left the phone on the table and Rose looked through the window in the room, she frowned when she spotted Osgood and Martha entering the Archive.

“What is Martha doing here? Did you call them?” Rose asked, pointing out the room.

“Oh, they’ve probably just finished disposing of the humans a bit early.” Kate answered airily.

Rose turned her head so fast she almost got whiplash.

“What?” She asked.

“Dear me. I really do get into character, don’t I?” Kate–or more accurately, Not-Kate– said.

Kate’s face started to melt away as she opened her mouth and spitted some kind of sustenance at Rose. Rose ducked and hid behind the table, as far away from Kate as she could in the small room. Little by little, Kate was replaced with a red creature with tentacles and, apparently, acid for spit.

“The Under Gallery is secured.” The Not-Osgood said.

Rose grabbed Kate’s phone before the creature tried to attack her again. The numbers on the photograph on the phone were 231163. Rose grabbed the vortex manipulator, put it on and copied them into it.

“Prepare to dispose of one more human.” Not-Martha said. “We have acquired the device.”

“Activation code, right?” Rose said with a cheeky smile and then winked at Kate.

She disappeared. 

\-----

And appeared in what looked like a medieval castle.

Rose looked around, trying to orientate herself, dizzy from the jump. If she had been feeling a sense of déjà vu throughout the whole day, that jump was an immediate throwback to her dimension jumps. She leaned against a wall and rested her head against the cold stone.

She breathed in and out and tried to concentrate on her mission: get the Doctor out of trouble, as always.

The Doctor had been trying to teach her how to notice his telepathic presence, and she thought maybe she could use that to find him. She tried to focus, but something felt different inside her head. She could feel the TARDIS as always, but somehow it felt crowded. Like there were too many people in a space where usually only the ship and the Doctor were.

She followed that feeling through cold hallways, trying to be silent as to not draw attention to herself. 

She could hear voices and they were growing louder until she saw a door at the end of a corridor. She ran to the door and opened it, almost falling face first to the floor because of the force she had used to open it.

And there, right in front of her, were three different versions of her Doctor.

\-----

He was going insane. 

Now he knew. Because standing in front of him was the perfect picture of Rose Tyler, looking disoriented between them.

The Doctor didn’t notice the other two reactions to her, he was doing his best to not hyperventilate. She looked so young, her bleached blonde hair almost grown out enough for her natural honey colour to pop out, her eyes the exact shade he remembered, her cheeks flushed from running. She was dressed in a pink dress and a jean jacket, which was weird because he didn’t remember ever seeing her in that kind of outfit. Then again, this was definitely a delusion of his hurt hearts. 

His future incarnation didn’t look  _ that _ surprised to see Rose there and even talked to her like it was normal while she looked confused between all of them. Oh, good, so she became a recurrent hallucination of his, and they were all just sharing this delusion. That’s just fantastic, good, molto bene– He was going to go insane sometime in the future and that was why Chinny was such an asshole about everything.

He tugged at his hair and did his best to count the seconds between each breath he took before his respiratory bypass kicked in.

“This isn’t happening.” He said, mostly to himself if he was honest. 

Well, he  _ was _ the only other person in the room.

The Rose in front of him looked so alive, his pink and yellow human standing right in front of him. And it hurt because it wasn’t true, because right now she was in another universe living a life beside a Doctor that had everything he ever wanted. 

She looked so real he wanted to cry. She was looking at him with those kind eyes, the look she used to give him when she wanted to help him, to get close and console him.

_ ‘There’s me.’ _

“Doctor.” Even her voice was the same.

He noticed he was no longer breathing. Maybe he was afraid that if he took one breath he would catch traces of her perfume and that would be his doom.

“You can’t be real.” He whispered.

He started pacing, getting away from her. Maybe if he didn’t look at her she would disappear and he would be left alone in his misery again.

“I’m going insane, I knew it.” He said and then pointed at Chinny. “Is this what you didn’t want to tell me? That I go crazy and just–”

Chinny looked at him with amusement. He really had lost his marbles.

“Doctor.” Hallucination Rose said and tried to grab his hand.

The Doctor stepped back from her.

“Don’t come any closer!” He said as he got away and hit the wall. “This can’t be happening.” He runs his hands through his hair making a mess out of it.

He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. Rose (or not Rose, hallucination Rose, whatever Rose) was getting close to him.

“Doctor, it’s me.” She said softly.

“Stop it.” He said, his voice betraying how much this was affecting him. “Please.” He begged her.

“Look at me.” She said.

“No.” He shook his head.

God, he felt like a scared child wanting to run away, not being able to pull it together, no longer the collected Time Lord that he was supposed to be. Rose approached him, and this time he didn’t have anywhere else to run. She touched his hand with an insecurity that was not normal to her. Her hand was warm and solid against his and he couldn’t help but gripp it as tightly as he could. He opened his eyes and looked at her. At Rose standing in front of him with watery eyes and a huge smile.

“You can’t be.” He said.

“I think I can.” She said, smiling through her tears.

Impossible.

“Rose?”

“Hello.”

“Hello.” He laughed incredulously.

She hugged him then, his arms wrapping instinctively around her. Her body fitted perfectly against him, like it always would, her perfume of roses flooding his senses, her laugh vibrating through his body, so warm. And it was everything he ever wanted.

How? How was she here? His brain may be thinking logically but his body was acting on instinct, and his instinct was to be as near to Rose as possible. He pulled away from her, not much, just enough space to see her face. She was smiling even though there were tears gathered in her eyes. His hands cradled her face and one of her hands covered one of his.

“No, you’re not supposed to be here.” He frowned and then looked at Chinny. “What did you do?”

“Oi, I didn’t do anything!” Chinny said indignantly. “She came back all by herself.”

The Doctor looked at Rose, still in his arms, still  _ there _ .

“How?” He asked.

“Long story.” Rose replied. “The important thing here is,” she looked around the three of them with that tongue-in-teeth smile he loved, “three of you in one cell, and none of you thought to try the door?”

The Doctor finally let go of her and rubbed the back of his neck. 

Well, that was embarrassing.

“It should have been locked.” Granddad tried to defend them.

He nodded along.

“Yes. Exactly.” Said Chinny. “Why wasn’t it locked?”

The door creaked behind them and the remaining Elizabeth entered the cell.

“Because I was fascinated to see what you would do upon escaping.” She said. “I understand you’re rather fond of this world. It’s time I think you saw what’s going to happen to it.”

\-----

The Doctor walked through the corridors following the probable-Elizabeth to the Zygons' lair. Rose was walking beside him, sometimes stealing a few looks or touches of his hand, which made him smile like a fool. Chinny wasn’t that happy about it, holding Rose’s hand tightly and walking slightly ahead.

“I still can’t believe you are here.” The Doctor said dizzily.

“Sometimes I can’t believe it either.” She said.

The Doctor remembered the last time he saw her, standing on a beach in Norway, in a parallel universe, kissing a copy of him that could give her everything he never could.

“What happened to  _ him _ ?” The Doctor asked.

“Blimey, you really don’t like him, do you?” Rose said with a raised eyebrow as she turned to look at Chinny.

“What can I say? At least we agree on something.” Chinny said.

“How can you be jealous of yourself?” Said Rose with a cheeky smile.

“Well, not many have the privilege to experience that.” Chinny answered.

The Doctor turned to look at Granddad walking behind them. He had gone really quiet after Rose’s arrival and somehow that didn’t sit well with him. Granddad kept looking at her with apprehension, or maybe it was fear? Something about Rose had ticked him the wrong way, apparently.

They kept walking to another part of the Tower dungeons. Elizabeth walked in front of them, flanked by two guards while she explained the Zygons’ plans. The Doctor thought it weird, why would she give up valuable information about their plans? Then again, the Master used to do that a lot, just explain all of his plans and then be surprised when the Doctor would trample over them.

Elizabeth guided them right into the lair of the Zygons where hundreds of soldiers were working and preparing for battle.

“Observe this.” She said. “I believe you will find it fascinating.”

One of the Zygon put his hand on a glass cube with dents in the corners, and then vanished into thin air. There was a 3D landscape oil painting right in front of the glass cube and after a few seconds the figure of the Zygon appeared on the painting. The Doctor looked at the cube fascinated, this kind of technology shouldn’t be there.

“That’s the painting in the future, the one in the Under Gallery.” Said Rose.

“It’s not a picture, it’s a stasis cube. Time Lord art. Frozen instants in time, bigger on the inside, but could be deployed as–” Granddad started to explain.

“Suspended animation. Oh, that’s very good. The Zygons all pop inside the pictures, wait a few centuries till the planet’s a bit more interesting, and then out they come.” The Doctor finished.

It was a little bit embarrassing after that to discover that the Elizabeth they were talking was the real Elizabeth and not the Zygon copy. Elizabeth, of course, didn’t look happy with any of the Doctors, a face of contempt gracing her features.

“I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but at the time, so did the Zygon. The future of my kingdom is imperilled.” She looked seriously at the Doctor. “Doctor, can I rely on your service?”

The Doctor put his hands on his pockets and tried to look as harmless as he could. Making Royalty mad was never a good idea.

“Well, I’m going to need my TARDIS.” The Doctor said.

“It has been procured already.” Elizabeth said.

“Much appreciated.” The Doctor nodded with a smile.

“And Doctor?” Elizabeth said in a cold voice.

“Yes, your majesty?”

“Let it be stated that from this point forward I banish you from my land.” She said firmly. “You bring darkness and danger in your wake, and I will be glad if I never see your face again.”

The Doctor looked at her with wide eyes and turned to look at Rose, who looked just as surprised as him.

“What?” The Doctor said.

“What?” Echoed Rose.

Elizabeth stood firm in front of them.

“Leave.” She said.

“Right, umm.” The Doctor rubbed his neck awkwardly.

“Guards!” Elizabeth screamed and two Zygons appeared immediately at her side.

“Right, that is to say.” The Doctor started. “Run!” 

He grabbed Rose’s hand with a smile and they ran.

Chinny said something he didn’t catch but it was probably along the lines of complaining. The Doctor didn’t care, he was running from guards after being banished with Rose Tyler laughing beside him. Everything was right with the world.

They all ran outside to his waiting TARDIS.

“I’ve missed this.” The Doctor said.

“Have we just got banished from England, twice now?” Rose asked with a smile.

He turned to look at her, her smile contagious.

“Yep.”

\-----

Rose entered the TARDIS and was greeted by the coral desktop she thought she’d never see again. The ship sang happily inside her head and Rose couldn’t help but smile at that.

The Pinstripe Doctor let go of her hand to go to the controls and her current Doctor pulled her to him. She rolled her eyes, it was ridiculous, they all were the same person, why be jealous?

“Right then, back to the future.” The Doctor said with a flare of his hands.

“You’ve let this place go a bit.” The Old Doctor said.

“Ah, it’s his grunge phase. He grows out of it.” The Doctor said.

“Oi!” The Pinstripe Doctor said indignantly. “Don’t you listen to them.”

“I don’t know, I kinda like it.” Rose said.

The Pinstripe Doctor grinned madly at her and winked. She felt her face flush and she turned the other way, fighting a smile. She had forgotten how flirty this Doctor had been with her and while that hadn’t changed with her current Doctor, it felt a little different.

An alarm sounded throughout the room taking her out of her thoughts. The Pinstriped Doctor hissed and brought his hand to his mouth.

“Ow! The desktop is glitching.”

The lights started to blink above them and Rose started to feel dizzy. The Doctor pulled her to him and helped her to stand up straight. Rose looked at him but he only winked at her.

‘They can’t know.’ He seemed to say.

“Three of us from different time zones. It’s trying to compensate.” The Old Doctor said.

The lights blinked rapidly, almost blinded them with their intensity.

“Hey, look.” The Doctor said while pointing at the walls. “The round things.”

“I love the round things.” The Pinstripe Doctor said.

“What are the round things?” The Doctor asked.

“No idea.” The Pinstripe Doctor answered.

Rose snickered.

The controls sparked and the lights blinked once more and Rose was greeted by the metallic desktop she had become familiar with.

“Ha! There! Stabilised.” The Doctor said as he approached the controls with more confidence now that it wasn’t trying to shock him.

“Oh, you’ve redecorated.” The Pinstripe Doctor said. “I don’t like it.”

“Oh. Oh yeah? Oh, you never do. Listen, we’re going to the National Gallery. The Zygons are underneath it.”

“No, UNIT HQ.” Rose stopped him. “They followed us there to the Black Archive.”

The three Doctors turned to look at her seriously.

“Right,” she said, “you clearly don’t like the place, huh?”

The Doctor went to one side of the controls. A call went through the monitor.

“Science leads, Kate. Is that what you meant? Is that what your father meant?”

‘Doctor?’ Kate’s voice came from the speakers on the monitor, clearly confused.

“Space-Time Telegraph, Kate. A gift from me to your father, hotline straight to the Tardis.” The Doctor said as an explanation. “I know about the Black Archive and I know about the security protocol. Kate, please. Please tell me you are not about to do something unbelievably stupid.”

The response was immediate.

‘I’m sorry, Doctor. Switch it off.’

“Not as sorry as you will be. This is not a decision you will ever be able to live with.” The Pinstripe Doctor said.

“What?” Rose asked, feeling more confused by the moment. “What is she planning to do?”

The Doctor only looked at her with grim eyes.

‘I said, switch it off.’ Kate said, annoyed.

“No, Kate, please. Just listen to me!” The Doctor tried to say but Kate had ended the call.

The Doctor made a frustrated noise while he went around the controls trying to search for a way to land.

“The Tower of London, totally TARDIS-proof.” The Pinstripe Doctor said.

“We don’t need to land.” The Old Doctor said, looking at the glass cube on the controls with intense eyes, clearly thinking about a plan.

The Pinstripe Doctor looked at him like he was thick for not getting it.

“Yeah, we do.” He said, in a mocking voice. “A tiny bit. Try and keep up, old man.”

Rose swapped at him.

“Rude.” She said

Her past Doctor turned to look at her and smiled from ear to ear, like he had done something really clever. Rose rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but give him a smile.

“No, we don’t. We don’t. There is another way. Cup-a-soup.” The Old Doctor said while he held the glass cube.

The other two looked at him finally getting his point, which Rose was still struggling with a bit. The Doctor went to the doors and took the phone from the outside.

He really needed to redirect that thing, it was dangerous.

“Take a look at your phone and confirm who you’re talking to.” The Doctor said into the phone. “You were just talking to me. I know. I’m a time traveller, keep up Martha.” Another pause. “I need you to send the Gallifrey Falls painting to the Black Archive. Understood?”

Finally Rose got it.

\-----

They were now in the Black Archive.

The Doctors had wiped out the memories of the people in the room, making them forget who was a Zygon and who was Human. The Kates were trying to negotiate a living situation that would work for both species without endangering anyone while Rose explored the rest of the room. She wasn’t really needed in political negotiation, and even the other two Doctors were in their own world, talking to each other.

There was a photo array of his past and future companions (well, future for him), old and new pictures, in colour and in black and white. It was like seeing his own fingerprint on the Earth. 

He had found his old leather chair when he had been an insufferable question-mark wearing git. How had that ended up being here? He sat down and closed his eyes, trying to tune out the rest of the voices. 

“Hello.” A girl’s voice said in front of him.

He opened his eyes and was greeted by the blonde girl. The real one, apparently.

“Hello.” He said.

She smiled. It was the same smile Bad Wolf had given him, full of emotions he didn’t want to name. She was so young. Not as young as some of his past companions like Adric or Ace, but still, young. Her eyes betrayed her age, though. Just like Bad Wolf, it was like seeing into the Time Vortex itself, a hazel colour that would reflect golden in the sun.

“I’m Rose.” She said. “We haven’t met yet.” And then she frowned. “I mean, not really. I mean, you won’t remember, I mean–”

“Who are you?” He interrupted her.

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I already told you, mate.” She said playfully.

“No, you haven’t.” He pointed to the other two Doctors. “Those two seemed to be obsessed with you.”

She flushed a little but she only said, “I’m just a companion of your future.”

He couldn’t believe that. Not when her mirror image stood a few paces behind her.

_ ‘I’m just a memory.’ _

“What’s Bad Wolf?”

Rose tensed, her eyes darted to his face and he could see the fight inside her head happening.

“How do you know ‘bout that?” She asked instead of answering.

He waved his hand, he didn’t have a way to answer that. She looked conflicted for a while and then said.

“It’s a message.”

_ ‘A message across the stars.’ _

The Warrior raised an eyebrow at her.

“I can’t tell you anything else.” She gave him a sad smile. “You’re still so young.”

“I’m 800 years old.” He said.

“Yes, but your eyes.” She said, and he realised that both of them had read the other through the other’s eyes. 

She would make a great companion. And in a sense, she had. But not for him. 

Not this him.

He had the urge to grab her hand and he wondered if it would be as warm as he thought it was.

“I know you.” She said. 

_ ‘I know you. I hear you.’ _ Bad Wolf’s voice echoed inside his head.

“He carries the guilt of the universe in his eyes.” She continued. “You still haven’t done it.”

“You’re very sure of yourself.” He said.

“I see it in his eyes every day.”

“How many worlds has his regret saved, do you think?” He said, pointing at the other Doctors as they worked together. “Look over there. Humans and Zygons working together in peace.”

“They are you, Doctor.”

“No, I lost the right to call myself the Doctor.” He said, feeling his eyes heavy. Rassilon, he was tired. “I think it’s time I grew up. I’ve seen all I needed. The Moment has come.”

Bad Wolf stood looking at him, watching them closely.

“I’m ready.” He said to her.

Rose turned around to see behind her.

“What?”

‘I know you are.’ Bad Wolf said and touched his cheek.

It was warm.

He didn’t see Rose turn around in panic as he disappeared from the room

\-----

He was back at the barn. 

It was really silent, he noticed, there was no wind, no creaking of the roof, no anything.

He was alone.

The cold he had felt earlier seeped into his bones until he thought he would never feel warmth again. His hands shook and it was becoming difficult to breath. He just stood there, looking at the red, rose-like button standing on a golden stalk above the clockwork box hoping his respiratory bypass would kick in soon.

The crystal rose shined with the reflection of the sun. He thought of Rose, the girl that was the same as the weapon in front of him. She had smiled at him like she knew him, like there was no difference between any of his incarnations she had met. Like she loved him.

It truly was a beautiful piece of machinery.

‘You wanted a big red button.’ Bad Wolf said standing in front of him.

He looked at her and her eyes were so big, reflecting everything he was feeling at the moment.

“Who are you?” He asked again. “She, who is she?” He corrected himself.

‘I once touched all of time and space.’ She answered vaguely. ‘And I sprinkled myself across the universe, just to help you.”

“Why?”

And really, why? Why would a girl, barely nineteen, risk her life like this, scattered herself across time and space just to save  _ him _ . Why him? He didn’t deserve that. But it had happened. She had already done all of that for him, she was doing it right this moment somewhere in time because she couldn’t bear a world where _he_ wasn’t on it.  He hated that he was going to make her do something so reckless for someone that didn’t deserve to live.

“Isn’t it obvious?” She said with a sad smile that told him that she knew he had already figured it out. “I love you, my Doctor. I want you safe.”

He hated himself. 

He raised his hand and went to touch the crystal rose.

‘One big bang, no more Time Lords. No more Daleks.’ Bad Wolf interrupted. ‘Are you sure?’ She asked.

“I was sure when I came in here. There is no other way.”

‘You’ve seen the men you will become.’

“Those men.” He said and he thought he felt the shadow of a smile gracing his features. “Extraordinary.”

“They were you.” She said.

“No. They are the Doctor.” He said, stubbornly.

‘You’re the Doctor, too.’ She said, as if tired of explaining it to him.

“No.” He said firmly. “Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame, whatever the cost.”

His hand hesitated over the button as he recalled the sound of children’s laughter around him.

‘You know the sound the TARDIS makes? That metallic groaning.’ She said, interrupting him once more.

He looked at her, her eyes were desperate.

“Yes.” He answered.

‘I love it. Don’t you?’ She said with a small smile.

He felt the ghost of a smile pull against his lips. He nodded.

“Of course I love it.” He said.

‘That sound brings hope wherever it goes.’ She said.

“Yes. Yes, I like to think it does.”

‘To anyone who hears it, Doctor. Anyone, however lost.’

The sound of the time rotor surrounded the whole room and he thought he could breathe a little bit easier.

‘Even you.’ She said.

He turned around to see two TARDIS park themselves in the barn. The two Doctors and Rose came out of their respective ships.

“Go away now, all of you.” He said to the other Doctors. “This is for me.”

Sandshoes looked around surprised at the fact they had actually arrived. 

“These events should be time-locked. We shouldn’t even be here.” Sandshoes said.

He raised his eyes to look at Bad Wolf, who was looking at him with a winning smile. He raised an eyebrow at her but she only brought a finger to her lips.

“So something let us through.” Bowtie said, his hand tightly intertwined with Rose’s.

‘You clever boys.’ Bad Wolf said.

“Go back. Go back to your lives.” He said, feeling so tired. He couldn’t do this anymore, he just wanted everything to end. “Go and be the Doctor that I could never be. Make it worthwhile.”

The Doctors approached him but he noticed that Rose had stayed near the TARDIS, looking at them with wide, scared eyes.

“All those years, burying you in my memory.” Sandshoes said.

“Pretending you didn’t exist. Keeping you a secret, even from myself.” Bowtie said.

They stood each on one of his sides, looking at him as if they were facing some kind of ghost.

“Pretending you weren’t the Doctor, when you were the Doctor more than anybody else.” Sandshoes said.

“You were the Doctor on the day it wasn’t possible to get it right.” Bowtie said.

Right. There was no other way. No way to escape and save the day. This had to happen and it had to be him to do it.

Each one of the Doctors raised their hands and placed them above his.

“But this time” Sandshoes said, his voice full of grieve.

“You don't have to do it alone.”

They put their hands on the button together. He still felt cold, but breathing was easier and he thought he could do it even if it meant he would have to live after this.

“Thank you.” He said and his voice cracked at the end.

How embarrassing. He was supposed to be a warrior and he was breaking down so easily.

“What we do today is not out of fear or hatred. It is done because there is no other way.” The Doctor in the pinstripe suit said.

“And it is done in the name of the many lives we are failing to save.” The Doctor in the Victorian clothing finished.

Bad Wolf looked at him, her eyes watery and maybe that look was also mirrored in the girl behind him, looking at her Doctor doing something she only knew about.

_ Her _ Doctor. Huh. It had come naturally but it felt right to say it.

‘Take a closer look.’ Bad Wolf said.

Everything around them went dark.

Echoes of the shots and explosions. Screams of people running away to shelter. The smell of blood, smoke and dust.

Death, fire and war.

“What’s going on?” The blonde girl–Rose, her name was Rose– asked behind them.

Her voice shook with fear as the images surrounded her.

“Nothing.” He said calmly. “It’s a projection.”

‘It’s a reality around you.’ Bad Wolf told him.

Gallifrey in its final moment, taking its final breaths before succumbing to its fatal Destiny.

Everything ends.

“There isn’t anything we can do.” Sandshoes said. If it was for them or for Rose, it didn’t matter.

“He’s right. There isn’t another way. There never was.” Bowtie said, a heavy tone to his normally light voice. “Either I destroy my own people or let the universe burn.” 

He heard the steps before feeling the arms of the girl surrounding him and holding onto him tightly. She hid her face against his back and heard her sobbing against him. She was so warm, fighting against the cold that had set into his soul. 

Her smaller frame fitted perfectly against him. How could a person so kind love a monster like him?

“Please don’t do this.” She said in a broken voice.

“What else can we do?” He answered her.

The other Doctors looked at her like they were trying to reason with a child.

“Rose, you know it needs to happen this way.” Sandshoes said.

He felt her shake her head against his back and he huffed a little.

“No, I don’t! Time isn’t linear, it can be rewritten.” She said, fighting every decision he made, no matter the incarnation. “You taught me that.”

“Not this.”

The image froze around them. This is the moment that would be forever set in a painting. Death and destruction.

“Please, please, Doctor.” She begged.

“Rose–” One of the other Doctors tried to touch her arm but she refused it and clung even harder onto him.

“No! You can’t do this! I won’t allow it!” She said. “Do something.”

She sniffed and stayed silent. He could see the conflicting emotions running through the other two faces.

“You chose your name.” She said in a small voice. “You told me what it meant. A promise. Tell me.” The last thing almost as an order to all of them.

“Never cruel or cowardly.” Sandshoes said.

“Never give up, never give in.” He said.

The images vanished and they were back in the barn.

Bowtie retracted his hand and looked at all of them seriously. Sandshoes raised an eyebrow at him but looked in much better spirits.

“You’re not actually suggesting that we change our own personal history?”

“We change history all the time. I’m suggesting far worse.” Bowtie said. “Gentlemen, I have had four hundred years to think about this. I’ve changed my mind.” 

It was energy and life around him. Excitement of a plan, the hope everything would be alright at the end. Rose’s smile shone brightly at them.

Gallyfrey, standing tall once again.

“Frozen. Frozen in an instant of time, safe and hidden away.” Sandshoes said.

“Like a painting.” He finished.

\-----

The group stood having a cup of tea in front of the ‘Gallifrey Falls’ painting. 

The three TARDISes were lined up by one wall, the opposite was decorated with a collection of roundels and a small bench stood in the middle of the room with the tea set and biscuits on it.

Rose stood beside the Doctor, holding his hand, a big smile on her face he wanted to kiss away.

“I don’t suppose we’ll know if we actually succeeded.” The Old Man said, but the Doctor could detect a small sign of cheerfulness in his voice. “But at worst, we failed doing the right thing, as opposed to succeeding in doing the wrong.” 

_ The life of the party _ , the Doctor rolled his eyes.

“What is it actually called?” The Other asked beside him.

“Well, there’s some debate. Either No More or Gallifrey Falls.” The Doctor answered.

“Not very encouraging.” The Old Man said.

“How did it get here?” The Other asked as he put his thick rimmed glasses on.

“No idea.” The Doctor answered honestly.

“There’s always something we don’t know, isn’t there?” The Other pocketed his glasses once more and turned to look at the rest of them.

“Well, gentlemen, it has been an honour and a privilege.” The Old Man said as he left his cup of tea on the bench and stood proudly in front of them.

“Likewise.” The Other said.

“Doctor.” The Doctor said.

There was a barely there smile on his face and the Doctor took that as a win.

The Old Man turned to look at Rose, who was beaming at him.

“Looking forward to meeting you, Rose Tyler.” The Old Man said.

Rose let go of his hand and hugged the Old Man tightly. The Old Man was surprised, to say the least, but returned the hug happily.

“It’s sooner than you think.” She said.

“I won’t remember this, will I?” The Old Man asked in a broken voice.

Rose shook her head against his shoulder and didn’t let go.

“The time streams are out of sync. You can’t retain it, no.” The Doctor answered.

“So I won’t remember that I tried to save Gallifrey rather than burn it.” The Old Man said. He sighed and pushed Rose away from him. “I’ll have to live with that. But for now, for this moment, I am the Doctor again. Thank you.”

The Old Man walked to his broken and battered TARDIS before Rose screamed.

“Doctor!”

The Old Man stopped on the entryway, a curious look on his face.

“Don’t forget to tell me, she also travels in time.”

The Old Man nodded, a fond smile on his face.

“Will do, my dear.” He said, before entering his TARDIS.

The groaning sound filled the room and the police box was gone.

“I won’t remember either.” The Other said. “I still don’t understand how you’re here, Rose.”

“We don’t understand it either.” The Doctor answered looking at Rose. “But that’s just how Rose is. Impossible.”

“That day, on that beach, I–” The Other started.

Rose approached him and cradled his face making him look directly at her.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“I’m so–”

“I’m not.” She interrupted him. 

“I never did get to finish what I wanted to say.”

Rose smiled.

“It’s okay. You will, one day.”

The Other nodded and held one of Rose’s hands against his face.

“Rose, I–”

“I’ll see you soon, a’ight.” She said softly. “I love you.”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the lips. The Other started to chase after her but the Doctor pulled Rose out of his grasp and into his.

The Other looked at him with hard eyes before shaking his head and getting into the next TARDIS, not as brightly painted as his, and it dematerialised out of the room.

Finally, the Doctor and Rose were alone again.

He held her hand tightly and she raised her eyes at him. All the memories started to return slowly to him, standing in front of the clockwork box on a lonely barn, Bad Wolf being the interface of the Moment, seeing Rose in the middle of a cell while arguing with himself, the jealousy he felt and the pity arguments between his other incarnations.

The fear. The cold.

And the warmth he felt whenever Rose was around.

Rose had been the only light during those dark times and he hadn’t even known it.

“You’re always saving me.” He said.

Rose frowned at him.

“The Moment. The box that was going to kill them all.” He said, trying to put all those memories into words. “It developed a consciousness. It was you. Or at least you when you were Bad Wolf. You saw that I needed you even when I didn’t know you.” 

He cradled her face and kissed her lightly. The cold was but a distant memory, no longer part of him as long as he had Rose by his side. He rested his forehead against hers and sighed. Her presence in his head just another reminder of everything that had happened until now.

He wanted to reach out, complete the bond, tie her to him forever and never let go. He restrained himself. 

Not yet, not now. Soon.

“My Impossible Rose.” He whispered.


	18. The Time of the Doctor

Rose finished changing her clothes in front of the massive mirror in the bathroom. 

She had to admit, sharing a bedroom in the TARDIS had more perks than anything. Everything in the room had grown to give more space to her things and adapted to the both of them perfectly. The Doctor’s desk and her vanity, her closet, his bed, his sheets, her pillows. It looked like them and she loved it.

She smoothed her white jumper and red checkered skirt, her black tights and boots contrasted prettily to finish the look, perfect for a Christmas dinner. She sat on the vanity and looked at her reflection. Her hair was beginning to grow out, her roots of natural blonde hair starting to show. She passed her fingers through her hair and thought about dyeing it again. She turned one side, then the other, shook her head and finally decided not to, maybe just a haircut. They were going to Sarah Jane’s party so she had made an effort at her outfit and her hair. 

She took the Christmas presents she had left on the bed and went to the console room. She got the Doctor a mobile, after the last time when he had answered the phone outside the ship and almost fallen off the TARDIS she thought it necessary for him to finally have a phone, at least to answer her.

She found the Doctor hunched over the controls fiddling with something that looked like a small box when she entered the room. 

“What you doing?” Rose asked.

The Doctor gave a little jump, startled, and turned around quickly to face her, hiding the thing behind him with a nervous smile. Rose raised an eyebrow but the TARDIS sounded playful in her head so whatever the Doctor was hiding probably wasn’t a bad thing. 

“Nothing.” He said and then relaxed and smiled at her. “You look amazing.”

“Thank you.” She said as she approached him. “Aren’t you gonna change?”

“I changed. I’m wearing my burgundy suit.”

She caressed the lapels of his suit and fixed his bowtie a little, and he preened underneath her ministrations. “Very festive.” She laughed and nodded appreciatively.

“Ready for Christmas?” He asked as he entered the coordinates on the navigation system.

“Just gotta buy the crackers.” She said.

The TARDIS materialized on a lonely street beside the main road full of shops full of people making their last-minute Christmas shopping. Rose got out of the ship and walked the busy streets. She looked around the windows until she found a little shop that wasn’t as full as the rest. 

She picked up the crackers and the memories of her first Christmas with the Doctor flooded her head, the day in which he had regenerated right in front of her and then crashed the TARDIS back home. Everything had gone wrong that day, an alien invasion, a comatose Doctor, confusion and heartbreak, but at the end of the day he had come to dinner in his brand new suit and gave her a smile that was so unique to him that every doubt in her head had flown away. He had given her his hand, just like she was afraid he never would again, and she had held it, just like she knew she always would. 

The Doctor in the TARDIS, with Rose Tyler. Just like it should be.

She smiled to herself.

Rose paid for the crackers and left the shop. She wondered when would be the next time she got to enjoy a more human tradition like this. Travelling with the Doctor usually disconnected you from the rest of the world, you just forgot about the human things.

This would be their first Christmas together since the day he regenerated and Rose was excited about it. 

Everything would be fine.

\-----

The TARDIS materialized at Sarah Jane’s backyard with its metallic groaning.

Sarah Jane wiped her hands in her trousers and left her house happily to greet her guests. The Doctor and Rose got out of the police box, Rose holding so many bags that Sarah couldn’t see her face and the Doctor looking like an overly excited child behind her, waving erratically at her.

“Rose!” Sarah said as she approached the couple.

“Sarah!” Rose threw some of the bags in the direction of the Doctor, who caught them to the best of his abilities–which weren’t many in this regeneration, apparently– and went to hug her.

The women hugged each other awkwardly over the rest of the bags, Rose squealing happily at Sarah’s ear. The Doctor tried to get away, sneaking past the women to get inside the house, but Sarah pulled him into a hug too as Rose went inside to leave the presents under the tree.

They entered and Sarah went to the kitchen to collect the plates to put on the table while Rose prepared tea.

“Where’s Luke?” Rose asked.

“Upstairs, getting ready.” Sarah said with a roll of her eyes. “Teenagers.” 

Rose nodded knowingly and Sarah wondered about her once more. She still didn’t have the entire story, she only knew that Rose was back after being gone for a long time. But, once in a while, when they talked, Sarah could feel how old Rose was in reality, how much she had lived before coming back to this universe. Sarah didn’t understand that, and neither the Doctor or Rose had explained everything that had happened before they appeared in her backyard that afternoon after Rose came back.

Sarah started to set the table, putting the nice cutlery that she liked and made her feel her age instead of a young woman still trying to figure out everything as she went. The Doctor was hovering around, not knowing what to do with himself or his hands and making an obstacle of himself.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen you at a Christmas dinner.” Sarah commented.

“I’ve done it once or twice in the past.” The Doctor said.

Sarah looked at him from the corner of her eye with a knowing smile.

“Was Rose the one who convinced you to start?” She asked.

The Doctor avoided her eyes, looking at the decorations and the tree.

“She may have helped me to come to terms with the Domestic.” He said.

Sarah snickered but he graciously let it go. She finished the table and approached the Doctor. She stood in front of him and looked into his eyes, they were not the same as the last time she had seen him, they looked bright, more at peace.

“This is a good look on you, Doctor.” She said. “Happy.”

He nodded and Sarah could see it. He felt lighter, more at home in the universe than ever, no longer the Time Lord runaway or the Last of his kind.

The Doctor went to Rose’s side while Sarah finished arranging her presents in the living room. She could still hear bits of their conversation as she set herself in the living room.

“It’s been a while since our last Christmas together.” Rose said.

“Yes, it has, hasn’t it.” The Doctor said. “I’m so glad you’re here, Rose Tyler.”

Sarah peeked slightly through the opening of the kitchen and saw the Doctor kiss Rose and Rose smile against his lips. They looked so happy together.

Something happened, the air grew tense, and Rose turned to look outside startled and the Doctor stiffened beside her. Rose’s eyes were wide and full of fear and Sarah forgot that she had been spying on them and entered the room.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“The TARDIS.” Rose said. “Something’s happening.”

She looked far away, her eyes lost somewhere Sarah couldn’t find. She looked afraid, terrified of something she couldn’t see.

And then the TARDIS started to groan, replicating a sound throughout the whole house that Sarah had never heard before. The Doctor and Rose left the house running, with Sarah right behind them.

They entered the TARDIS, the lights blinking all over the room.

Sarah looked in awe at the new interior of the ship, all sleek surfaces and metallic colours. The rotor in the middle was different from the last time she had seen it, even when the walls and the controls looked similar to the ones she remembered from her travelling days. There were stairs and different decks and there were markings on top of the rotor that circled around as the TARDIS groaned.

The Doctor approached the controls, Rose right by his side.

“What’s going on?” Asked Rose. 

“It seems like the TARDIS caught a message.” The Doctor said.

The Doctor frowned at the monitor but had a smile on his face, like he was having fun. Sarah felt like she was back being a young journalist beside the scarf wearing Doctor as he looked happily at trouble. Rose fell right by his side, looking at the monitor in confusion and still looking a little bit terrified. She looked like she was right at home, inside the TARDIS, beside the Doctor in a way that Sarah Jane had never felt. Even when she had travelled with him when she was young, she still had goals and dreams she wanted to fulfill on Earth, she still wanted something human at the end. 

But not Rose, it seemed.

“The TARDIS can’t translate it.” The Doctor said.

“That’s weird.” Rose said.

The Doctor looked excited. He examined the message once more.

“ _ I _ can’t translate it.” He said, even more surprised at that. “The message was received throughout the universe.”

The Doctor smiled at Rose and she rolled her eyes back at him, smiling.

“Sorry about this Sarah Jane, it seems like something has come up.” The Doctor said as he danced around the controls not looking sorry at all.

“Right you are.” Sarah said as she exited the ship.

“We’ll be back before dinner!” Called out Rose before Sarah closed the door behind her.

“Be careful!” Sarah Jane called out as the TARDIS dematerialized.

\-----

The TARDIS materialized floating in space, surrounded by battleships from everywhere around the universe. The Doctor and Rose went to the doors and opened them wide. There was chaos, ships flying around them as they tried to fit in the space above the planet. They stood there, looking at the show of ships and lights, and right below them, right below the panic that was happening, was a small snowy planet.

Rose thought she recognized some of the ships, but for the life of her, she couldn’t name them.

“Why are there so many ships?” She asked.

“They all received the same message.” The Doctor said.

She could still feel the remains of the message cursing though her like waves. Unadulterated fear, the TARDIS replicating the feeling inside her as the message repeated over and over again.

“But why?” Rose asked, not wanting to be there. “They can’t decode it, why does it matter?”

The Doctor nodded beside her. 

“I’m wondering about that myself.” He answered.

“Why are  _ we _ here?” She asked. 

The Doctor turned to look at her incredulously.

“Well, I’m ocd, they don’t have an excuse.” He said as he pointed outside the police box to the other ships that surrounded them.

They left the doors open as they entered the ship and the Doctor went to the monitor once more. The message wasn’t repeating anymore but the waves showed in the monitor and Rose could still feel how queasy the TARDIS felt about being there. After a while the message on the monitor was replaced by the normal gallifreyan writings and the Doctor looked excited.

“Planet identified, cool. Okay, what is the planet? Go on.”

The Doctor frowned at the monitor and murmured something like ‘Processing, processing’.

“Why don’t we go down there and ask?” Rose asked.

“It appears to be shielded. Even the TARDIS can’t break through it.”

“That’s an achievement.”

The lights in the room blinked once above them and the monitor glitched to life in a red colour. 

The Doctor went completely still as he looked at the screen like he was seeing a ghost. Rose looked at him with worry.

“You okay?” Rose asked.

The Doctor stayed silent for a couple of minutes before saying, in a small voice.

“It says it’s Gallifrey.”

Rose went to his side cautiously and put her hand on his arm.

“It’s not Gallifrey. Gallifrey is gone.” He said firmly.

Rose bit her lip, not knowing if she should say anything.

“But you saved it.” She said cautiously.

“We don’t know that.” He said, defensively.

He went to the doors once more and Rose followed closely behind, they looked out of the TARDIS, down at the small white planet.

“Even if it survived, it’s gone from this universe. That is not my home.” He said and then in a small voice. “It can’t be.”

He closed the doors and turned away.

Rose grabbed his face gently and made him look at her, his eyes were a storm of emotions as he tried to shy away from her. 

“Hey.” Rose said. “Everything’s fine. We’ll find it. One day.” 

He nodded against her palm and kissed her hand lightly. She smiled. 

A big fog horn blasted outside the ship and they both ran to the open doors.

In front of the blue police box was a big square spaceship, bigger than any of the others, all black and imposing. The Doctor looked happily at it while he pointed like he expected Rose to know what was happening.

“Papal Mainframe. It’s like a great big flying church. Probably the first ship to arrive and the ones who shielded the planet.” The Doctor said. “They can get us down there.”

Rose frowned. “You know, I thought in space there was no such thing like church.”

“The Universe is weird, and people want to believe in something.” He explained.

An enormous holographic image appeared in the middle of the square ship. A woman with thick black makeup and an elaborate hairstyle that reminded Rose of Star Wars hovered in front of the ship. The Doctor bowed to the large holographic face of the woman and Rose looked confused at him.

“Who’s that?” She asked.

“Tasha Lem, the Mother Superious.” The Doctor said. “Head of the Church.”

The hologram of the woman made a gesture with her head, beckoning them to her ship.

“Oh, she’s inviting us aboard.” The Doctor said.

“You know each other?” Rose asked.

“You know how it is, travelling through time and space, you’re bound to meet some influential people.” He winked at her and closed the TARDIS doors.

\-----

The other spaceship was massive, with too many people on board walking slowly, some of them talking softly to one another, some murmuring to themselves. The hallways were dark and the air felt cold and stuffy, like recycled air. It was silent with the exception of the underlying humming of the ship.

The Doctor and Rose walked between two rows of what looked like military personnel and people dressed in outlandish red robes, their faces hidden behind a large hood. 

“What kind of ship is this?” Rose asked in a whisper.

“The Church of the Papal Mainframe, security hub of the known universe.” The Doctor answered.

“A security church?” Rose said. “So, like, police and stuff?”

“Yep. Keeping you safe in this world and the next.” He said. 

They kept walking until they stood in front of the hologram woman. She was beautiful, with thick black hair and too pale brown skin hidden under an elaborate golden hairpiece and golden makeup. Her clothes were black but shone directly with the reflection of the lights, she was wearing a beautiful gown covered with a thick cloak, her hood lowered to show her elegant features.

“I venerate the exaltation of the Mother Superious.” The Doctor said as a greeting.

The Doctor bowed low and Rose tried her best at a curtsey. A male Colonel standing near the Mother Superious greeted them while she looked down at them.

“Welcome to the Church of the Papal Mainframe.” The Colonel said.

Finally, a small smile broke through the woman’s mask of indifference and she nodded.

“Welcome, Doctor.” She said.

“We thank you for the audience.” The Doctor said and then more cheekily. “Loving the frock, by the bye.”

The woman didn’t react but kept the smile on her face.

“Is that a new body?” She said, returning the cheek. “Give us a twirl.”

The Doctor spun around once before stopping.

“This old thing? Please, I’ve been rocking it for centuries.” He said and then to Rose. “Rose, this is Tasha Lem, the Head of the Church of the Papal Mainframe. Mother Superior, this is my, my–”  _ My what? _ , he thought in a panic. “Rose! This is Rose Tyler, my companion.”

Rose looked at him with a frown that said he hadn’t actually managed to avoid trouble with that particular introduction. Tasha smirked but didn’t say anything else, she just nodded her head towards Rose and turned to the Doctor once more.

“Let’s go to my chapel.” She said and turned around.

They walked to a more secluded area. This time there were no other people in the hallways and as they left the main hall behind, the guards disappeared too.

“So, she shielded the planet?” Rose asked.

“Yes.” The Doctor said and then to the Priest. “But you could sneak us down there, couldn’t you?”

“I would have conditions.” Tasha said, again in that cold voice of hers.

They arrived at a large golden door with decadent decoration, the complete opposite from the dark, empty hallways before them. Tasha opened the door and then turned to Rose, giving her a superior look that the Doctor didn’t like at all. 

“I have confidential matters to discuss with the Doctor.” Tasha said. “Would you excuse us?”

“No.” The Doctor said firmly. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Rose.”

The Priest raised an eyebrow at him but nodded slowly and opened the door wider for them to enter.

The Chapel was exactly what you would expect from an Earth Catholic Church, full of golden details and old paintings. They didn’t depict anything religious as you would expect from a Church, instead the paintings showcased a variety of planets and horizons and galaxies. An altar was placed in the middle of the room, it was a wooden table carved with symbols and wildlife of different planets, placed above it were candles of different sizes and colours, all burning at the same pace and in the middle of the table lay a golden box. At the end of the room was a confessional box, also wooden, but the Doctor could see that it worked as a transporter instead of its actual purpose.

Tasha offered them both a glittery purple drink. The Doctor and Rose both grabbed the offered cups and chucked them to one side, choosing not to drink the dubious liquid. 

“That message is transmitting through all of space and time.” Tasha started. “What did it make you feel?” She asked.

“Feel?” The Doctor asked.

He turned to look at Rose, but she avoided his eyes looking instead to the floor and picking at her nails like she always did when there was something she wasn’t saying. She had felt the moment the TARDIS caught a message, her eyes had been terrified for a moment as the ship replicated the sound of the message all over the place. He hadn’t seen that kind of fear in her eyes in a long time.

“Every sentient being in the universe who detected that signal felt something.” Tasha said, unaware of his thoughts. “Something overpowering.”

“What?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Fear.” Tasha said. “Pure, unadulterated dread.”

“Right. What’s the signal? Where’s it coming from?”

Tasha looked at him with calculating eyes, as if trying to figure out what was going through his head, and then said.

“It’s a settlement. Human colony, level two. A farm, basically.”

“Right. Anyone been for a look?” The Doctor asked.

“Any one ship lands, the rest will follow. There will be bloodshed. Fortunately we got here first, shielded the planet. We maintain the truce by blocking all of them.”

“Daleks, Cybermen, one of that lot, could break through your defences.”

“Perhaps.” Tasha said. “But they’re afraid, remember? Nobody wants to go first.”

“I do.” The Doctor said.

“Of course you do, you’re the Doctor.” Tasha said with a roll of her eyes. “Right.” 

Tasha walked to the ‘confessional’ style teleport and opened its doors, the Doctor and Rose following closely behind.

“This is my personal teleport.” She said. “I can put you down just outside the town. Find the source of the message and report back to me in one hour. And on your life, Doctor, you will cause no trouble down there.”

The Doctor and Rose entered the teleport box, squeezing into the small space. The Doctor grabbed Rose waist while she did her best to fit her arms in between them.

“When do I?” The Doctor said and then saw Rose raise an eyebrow at him. “Don’t answer that.”

\-----

Snow was falling all around as the Doctor and Rose beamed in.

“Cold.” Rose said as she hugged herself.

The Doctor rubbed her arms a little and gave her a quick kiss in the forehead. He then started sonicking everything around them, searching around them for any sign of trouble. 

“So, sweet little town covered in snow, half the universe in terror.” The Doctor said. “Why? Why?”

Rose looked around her, the snow was making her visibility difficult but she managed to spot something out of the ordinary. She approached slowly towards the thing that was sticking out of the snow so as to examine it closely.

“Is that a hand?” She said out loud.

“What?” 

“There’s something buried here.” Rose said.

“What is it?” The Doctor asked.

Rose got even closer until she could finally discern what it was.

“It’s just stone. It’s only a statue.” She said with a sigh.

The Doctor turned quickly to her.

“Rose, step away from it!” He said in an alarmed voice.

Rose blinked and before she knew it the hand had grabbed her ankle and she was laying on the snowy floor. The Doctor came to her side and helped her get up. The stone hand didn’t move at all as she did her best to move her foot.

“Keep looking at it. Don’t look away. Don’t even blink!” The Doctor said as he tried to sonic the hand. “There is a Weeping Angel under the snow. It looks like a statue, isn’t a statue. Can you get your foot out?” He asked desperately.

Rose moved her foot a little and winced.

“I don’t know, I’m not sure.” She said honestly.

The Doctor nodded and grabbed her by the arms.

“Okay, pull hard.” He said. “One, two, three!”

Rose came free with a soft curse as they tumbled backwards. She could feel the pain travelling through her entire leg as she struggled to stand up. Lots of Angels were starting to emerge from the snowdrifts surrounding them. The Doctor held onto her as he tried to help her.

“I think I sprained my ankle.” Rose said as she looked around her. “They’re coming out of the snow.”

“Keep looking at them. At all of them.” The Doctor said.

“Why?” Rose asked desperately.

The statues were coming closer and closer and she didn’t understand what was happening.

“Quantum locked lifeform. It can only move if it’s unobserved.” The Doctor explained. “Must’ve got past the Church’s shield.”

They were surrounded and couldn’t look at every Angel all of the time. The snow became erratic around them, flying into their eyes and making it even more difficult to keep eye contact.

“Keep looking!” The Doctor said.

The Angels advanced threateningly.

“I can’t see. The snow’s in my eyes.” Rose said as she wiped her eyes furiously.

She could feel the Doctor right behind her, moving in tandem with her.

“I just need to bring the TARDIS down.” He said.

“How? Can you even fly her remotely?” Rose asked.

“No, but I can home her in.”

“The key!” Rose said. 

She remembered her first Doctor calling the TARDIS through the key when she had tried to save his father and the reapers had come for them. But that had taken hours to charge! There was no way the TARDIS would come in time before the Angels got them.

“No, much easier.” The Doctor said.

The Doctor pointed the sonic at her and she started to glow. Golden light came out of her skin as she looked in wonder at her hands.

And then the TARDIS materialized around them and she was at once safe inside the console room.

“How–?” Rose started to ask.

“Easy, you and the TARDIS are connected, share a telepathic link, but you also share the same energy. You have Huon particles running through your body, just like the Heart of the TARDIS, and these particles call out to each other.”

Rose nodded and winced as she tried to stand up tall. Rose gave up and did her best to sit on the floor without moving her ankle too much.

“Are they dangerous?” She asked.

“To the normal human, yes. They’re extremely poisonous. But for you, Rose Tyler, well, they’re part of you.” He said with a charming smile and then frowned as he saw her lie on the floor. “You alright?”

“I think I sprained my ankle, maybe worse, ‘m not sure.” Rose said.

The Doctor was at her side in an instant, picking her up and sitting her in the stairs. He held her foot and she hissed. He sonicked around and then turned to her.

“Does it hurt?” He asked.

“A little.” She answered.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Working for Torchwood in the other universe wasn’t always fun and games, you know?” She said.

The Doctor nodded and then disappeared inside the TARDIS before bringing a metal tube.

“Don’t move.” He ordered.

Rose nodded. A light came from the metal tube and the pain started to subside.

“I cannot cure it fully unless you want to stay in the TARDIS and wait for me.”

Rose frowned at him. “Not a chance.”

He gave her a small smile. 

“I thought so.” He said and then went to the controls. “Okay, homing in on the mysterious message. Ooo yes, I like that. The mysterious message.”

The TARDIS landed on a snowy town landscape. They exited the ship and walked into town, Rose leaning slightly on the Doctor, trying her best not to show how much it actually hurt.

The trees around town were decorated with Christmas lights and pretty red decorations that shined with the reflection, so the village had electricity at least. It was small, very small, a few shops here and there and most of the buildings were houses, there was a park and a clock tower in the middle of the town, and because of the snow there were barely any people outside.

“Now, what do we make of this place?” The Doctor asked.

“Looks nice, very christmassy.” Rose said.

And it was true, everything about the town screamed Christmas at her. The lights, the decorations, the snow.

“It looks pretty late.” She said.

“It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. Must be very short days here.” He said as he checked his watch. “The message is coming from that tower.” He pointed to the clock tower.

They saw two residents walking towards them. Both were dressed in old timey clothing, like you would see in ‘A Christmas Carol’ movie adaptation, and she had seen several, including the ones from the other universe.

“Hello! Hello, there.” The Doctor called out to the couple and then to Rose said. “Right, I’m John Smith and you’re my lovely wife Rose Smith and we’re a couple from the next town and we’re on a holiday.”

“A’ight.” She said with a nod. “Let’s do this.”

“Mrs. Smith.” The Doctor joked, offering his arm to her. 

“Dr. Smith.” Rose answered back as she grabbed the offered arm. 

They approached the other couple– rather slowly because of her ankle–and greeted them.

“Hello, good to meet you. Nice snow.” The Doctor said.

“Most pleasant to meet you too.” The man said.

“Most pleasant. Most pleasant.” The woman replied.

“I’m the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. I stole a time machine and ran away and I’ve been flouting the principal law of my own people ever since.” He covered his mouth before he kept talking. “That wasn’t quite what I was meant to say!”

The couple laughed but Rose looked at him confused. She turned to the couple and tried to introduce herself.

“I’m Rose Tyler from planet Earth, I used to travel with him before getting trapped in a parallel dimension and marrying a clone of him.” She did the same as the Doctor and covered her mouth.

They both looked at each other with wide eyes, not really understanding what was happening.

“I think, perhaps, you should stop talking till you get used to it.” The woman said.

“Used to what?” The Doctor asked.

“–and I’m way older than what I appear.” Rose finished before covering her mouth once more.

“I see.” The Doctor said excitedly. “Yes, of course. It’s a truth field. Oh, that is so quaint. I haven’t seen a truth field in years.”

“No one can lie in this town. Especially this close to the tower.” The man said.

“Doesn’t that make life a bit difficult?” The Doctor asked with a frown.

“Not at all.” Said the woman.

“Yes.” Said the man.

Rose couldn’t help but laugh at that. The couple started to walk away before the Doctor called out to them again.

“This town, what’s it called?” The Doctor asked.

“It’s Christmas.”

“It’s July.” The Doctor said, confused.

“No, the town.” The woman said. “The town is Christmas. That’s what it’s called.”

The couple left, leaving the Doctor and Rose staring confusedly at their backs.

“I love that, a Town called Christmas.” Rose said. “It’s like a holiday story.”

The Doctor nodded.

“Yes. I almost hate to find out what’s wrong.” He said.

They both looked at the clock tower, the three tones sang out from across the rooftop covering the town with its sound.

\-----

They entered the building hand in hand, the Doctor helping Rose to get up the steps because of her ankle.

Inside the Tower was dusty and devoid from any furniture, it was well kept if not lonely to say the least. There was a set of stairs at the end of the hallway that probably led to the clock on the roof and another set leading to the basement. It was dark except for a white light that leaked through from a bedroom at the end of the hall and they both approached it cautiously.

The bedroom was empty except for the light.

A light that came from a crack on the wall, it was white and shone brightly across the room. There were whispers coming from the crack and a song that Rose felt it was familiar, like she had heard it a thousand times. The Doctor tensed beside her.

“What’s that?” She asked as she looked into the light.

“A split in the skin of reality.” The Doctor answered, his voice far away.

She turned to look at the Doctor but he was already coming closer to the crack to examine it. As he touched it, Rose could see in his eyes recognition.

“A tiny sliver of the 26th of June, 2010. The day the universe blew up.” He said and then turned to Rose. “I rebooted it, put it all back together.”

“How did that happen?” Rose asked.

“Well, it was my TARDIS that blew it up in the first place. I felt a degree of responsibility.” He said and Rose felt even more confused. “But the scar tissue remains. A structural weakness in the whole universe. Whoa! And someone’s trying to get through it from outside our universe, from somewhere else. Of course. Of course. It makes sense.”

The Doctor wasn’t talking to Rose anymore, he was inside his head making theory after theory to give an answer to a mystery he already knew the answer to. Rose watched as the Doctor paced around the room, looking at the crack every once in a while.

“If you were trying to break through a wall, you’d choose the weakest spot. If you were trying to break into this universe, you’d choose this crack, because. No.” He stood still for a moment, his eyes going wide. “If you were trying to break back into this universe.”

And Rose understood, finally.

“The message comes from another universe. It comes from Gallifrey.” Rose said, not really believing it.

The Doctor started searching through his pockets and finally took out a large round item from his trouser pocket. He looked at it, caressing softly the markings.

“Seal of the High Council of Gallifrey. Nicked it off the Master in the Death Zone.”

Rose turned to look at him skeptically.

“And you just carry it in your pockets?” She asked.

The Doctor, of course, didn’t answer, he was already taking out another thing from another pocket, this time it looked like one of his homemade devices that usually didn’t work at all.

“There is an algorithm imprinted in the atomic structure. I can use it to decode the message.”

He put the Seal on the homemade gizmo and a voice devoid from emotions sounded from the device.

‘Message decoding. Message analysis proceeding.’ 

Rose held her breath as the message decoded.

‘Information available. The message is a request for information.’

“Why can’t you just say it’s a question?” The Doctor said, clearly frustrated.

‘It is being projected through all of time and space on a repeating cycle.’ The voice said.

“The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.” The Doctor murmured.

Rose was getting more and more confused, nothing made sense for her.

‘Warning. Translation will be available to all lifeforms in range. Translation follows.’ The voice said. ‘Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who?’ The voice started to distort, changing everytime it repeated the question, until it became a twisted version of the original voice. ‘Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who?’

Everyone could hear the message, even the battleships above them. The Daleks could hear it, and the Cybermen, and–

“A question only I could answer. A truth field to make sure I’m not lying.” The Doctor said, Rose kept silent because, well, she knew his name, too. “If I give my name, they’ll know they’ve found the right place and that it’s safe to come through.”

“But it’s not! It’s not safe.” Rose said. “There are battleships waiting for them!”

‘Doctor. Speak with me.’ The voice of the Mother Superious resounded through the small Town like a battle cry. ‘Doctor! Face me now!’

The Doctor left the room and went upstairs to the bell chamber above the clock tower. Tasha’s holographic face hung large in the sky with its rightful fury.

Rose ran outside the building (to the best of her abilities) and watched the Doctor talk to the hologram of the priest. The rest of the Town had gathered to watch the show and Rose clutched her hands together. What did he plan to do? What was he thinking about?

“Mother Superious, there is only one thing I need from you.” The Doctor said in a fearful voice. “This planet, what’s it called?”

The hologram kept silent for a few moments and then–

‘Trenzalore.’ 

Rose felt her body run cold. 

_ Trenzalore. _

The planet they had seen destroyed in the future, with the dying TARDIS and the Doctor’s grave. A death among battle. The place he was meant to die.

‘If you speak your name, the Time Lords will return.’ Tasha said.

“If they return, they will come in peace.” The Doctor tried to explain.

Tasha’s face showed no emotion, and her voice gave away nothing.

‘It doesn’t matter.’ She said. ‘They will be met with a war that will never end. The Time War will begin anew. You know that, Doctor.’

“They’re asking for my help!” The Doctor argued.

‘And if you give it, war will be the consequence.’ 

Rose could feel her hands trembling, the snow started to cling to her clothes making her shiver, but she couldn’t take her eyes away from the scene.

‘I will not let that happen, at any cost. Speak your name and this world will burn.’

Then the Doctor did as Rose knew he would do.

“No, this planet is defended.” He said in a firm voice.

He rang the bell and the crowd that had gathered below the Tower approached the doors of the building.

The Doctor came out of the Tower with a friendly smile and a reassuring voice.

“So, you lot, a quick word, thank you. Spot of news.” He said with a flare of his hands. “Christmas has a new sheriff.” 

Rose couldn’t move as she looked from behind the crowd the figure of the Doctor as he spoke.

And with a charming smile said. 

“Hello, everyone. I’m the Doctor.”


	19. The Eleventh Hour

The Doctor and Rose stayed in Christmas. 

Rose’s ankle took less than a day to be fully recovered and the Doctor took care of her in the meantime. He didn’t go back to the TARDIS, not even once, since he decided he was going to stay and protect the small town, but he did ask around if they could stay in the Tower for the foreseeable future. No one complained and even helped them clean it and furnish it with welcoming smiles.

The Doctor created a workshop in the room with the crack, with an enormous oak desk and a comfy velvety chair right beside it. He would spend hours and hours looking at the light coming from the crack as if it would give him all the answers. Rose would sometimes catch him speaking in gallifreyan to the crack; during those times she would stay by the door in silence and watch him pace from one side of the room to the other.

Their bedroom became the one beside it.

It was difficult to fall asleep the first few nights, impossible dreams would plague her nights and confuse her mornings. Even with the dual beating of the Doctor’s heartbeat underneath her ear, Rose missed the humming of the ship, and the smell of oxygen and time that she had got used to. During the first week, she needed the Doctor to stay with her until she fell asleep because of how much she missed being inside the blue box. 

“What do you dream of?” The Doctor asked.

She frowned.

“I don’t know, I usually don’t remember them.” She said honestly. “They feel like memories, but I know they’re not mine.”

“Maybe they’re the memories of your Shadows. Maybe the TARDIS has been keeping them at bay.”

She nodded but didn’t say anything about going back to the ship.

“What about you? What do you dream of, Doctor?” She asked instead.

He smiled at her and it looked real and full of hope.

“Home.”

The days passed slowly, with the few moments where his enemies would try to get him. Angels, Cybermen, Daleks, Sontarans, and really, every single species she had met and  _ hadn’t _ met. The Doctor dealt with them easily and continued with his daily routine of helping around town. He became the town’s Mr. Fix-It, and his workshop became more and more crowded with tinkers and toys the neighbors would bring up for him to fix. The children loved him, giving him drawings that he started to hang up the walls of the room.

It was so incredibly domestic, so completely normal, a job, living in a proper house with doors and windows and carpets, that she almost forgot about their life amongst the distant stars.

Rose started to go every day back to the TARDIS, she felt more energized after every visit so she kept doing it and it became part of her daily routine. She spent time by herself exploring the ship’s rooms, she especially liked the Rose Garden and her old bedroom, full of pictures and memories. In those quiet moments she realized that maybe she needed the TARDIS much more than she thought she did. Like the ship had become part of her. Was she even human at this point? She didn’t like thinking about that.

In the time that followed, the Papal Mainframe strove to maintain the peace between the Doctor and his enemies. The days turned into weeks and then into months, and without even noticing it, they had spent a year on Christmas. 

Daylight on the planet only lasted a couple of minutes, so everyday they would go up the clock Tower to enjoy the little bit of sun they could get.

“Maybe next time we’ll end up on a sunnier planet.” Rose said while she hugged her jacket closer to her. 

“You should go to the TARDIS and pick better clothes.” The Doctor said in a teasing voice.

They were sitting next to each other, a small fire going in front of them. Rose reclined her head against his shoulder, enjoying the colours in the sky.

“Why don’t you go?” She asked.

The Doctor shook his head.

“No, not a good idea. The urge to run away would be too strong.”

Soon the sun would go down and they would be surrounded by darkness again.

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor apologized.

“About what?” Rose frowned.

“Trapping you here. We’re stuck, we can never leave.”

She turned to look at him and gave him a smile, the rest of her body still plastered to his side for warmth.

“Stuck with you?” She said. “Not so bad.”

He smiled, as if he was remembering a conversation that had gone really similar to this one.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She nodded and turned her eyes back to the sky. “Really Domestic of you. A house, neighbors, a workshop, everybody here knows you.”

The Doctor looked down at her with a small smile. He got up, taking with him all of his warmth. She was about to say something about that when she saw his face. He looked nervous all of the sudden, his hand opening and closing at his sides as he looked at her and then avoided her gaze. He started fidgeting, his hand going to his pocket, and looking everywhere else but her.

He took a small blue velvet box from his pocket and Rose gasped, her hand going to her mouth in order to keep from leaking whatever traitorous thought she had in her mind, something she had learned to do really early on their stay in the town.

“The TARDIS keys,” the Doctor started as he played with the box in his hands, “they’re made from a special material that makes them practically indestructible, the only way would be to throw them into a volcano, and, if polished, they look like they’re made of white gold.”

He finally looked at her, his eyes so loving that she wanted to cry.

“I wanted to do something for you. A more human tradition.” He said as he got down to one knee and opened the box. “I want a bond but I also want to give you a human wedding. What I’m trying to say is. Rose Tyler, would you marry me?”

Rose was nodding before remembering to take her hand from her mouth.

“Yes.” She said, smiling so hard it hurt her face.

She noticed she was crying but she really didn’t care, she was laughing and nodding and she couldn’t stop. The Doctor put the ring on her finger and she threw herself so hard they ended up on the floor laughing. She kissed him hard, not able to wipe out the smile of her face. 

“How long have you had them?” She asked.

“Longer than what would be considered cool.” He said.

She laughed even harder.

\-----

They got married.

A Christmas wedding.

It was a small ceremony since they couldn’t return to Earth to invite anyone, not like they had that many friends left on the planet. At least the town people all attended.

He stood at the bottom of an enormous oak tree, fidgeting and not knowing what to do with himself while he waited for Rose to appear. They had decided to marry far from the town because they didn’t know if somehow the crack would hear him whispering his name to her.

Snow fell slowly to the ground and he looked at the sky, waiting for the sun to appear. He remembered that fateful New Year’s day when he thought it was going to be the last time he saw her, how the snow had fallen on them while she smiled at him not knowing who he was. Did she remember that day? Probably not, he had only been a stranger for her at that moment, but her smile had been salvation for him (and maybe the reason as to why he had regenerated into a much younger body, if he was being honest). Had he set everything to stone from that moment? Had the small action of going back to her past and seeing her before she met him declared her future? Then again, he had done it over and over again after that day, so maybe they were always meant to meet no matter what.

The music started and everyone stood up. The piano played a soft melody as he finally saw Rose Tyler in her wedding dress smiling at him.

The snow clung onto her hair as she walked towards him. Her white dress contrasted with the red roses crown she was wearing. She was wearing a golden transparent cloak over her shoulders that made her skin glow and covered her from the snow. Red and gold were traditional colours on Gallifrey, and she wanted to do something traditional for him too. She probably was cold, that dress didn’t cover much, but her face looked flushed as if it was a hot sunny day. Her eyes were gleaming with unshed tears as the sun rose behind her and her makeup made her look even more sparkling than usual. 

The Doctor thought he had never seen anything as beautiful as Rose in that moment and he was glad for his respiratory bypass because he was sure he wasn’t breathing. She deserved so much better than him, but in that moment he didn’t care. He wanted Rose, he needed her in his life and he wanted to be selfish for once. 

She stopped and turned to look at him, and he thought her smile could light up the whole universe.

They tied the red ribbon around their hands and as he whispered his name in her ear he thought he was finally home.

\------

They bonded and the years passed in a blissful blur of happy married life. 

The Doctor stared at the lonely white hair in his hand.

He wasn’t that vain, not this time around– he had done his best to get away from that particular feature in this incarnation. But, and there was always a but, Rose hadn’t aged. She still looked exactly how she looked when he found her again in that London park so many years ago. Maybe it was the fact that she was a hybrid, maybe it had to do with Bad Wolf, but the fact was that Rose Tyler wasn’t aging.

What would happen once he was gone? He was part of the circuit of the TARDIS, if he died, the TARDIS would die, and what would be of Rose? Would she decay with the TARDIS? Was she immortal? They had seen how this story ended, he would die in a battle among millions on this planet. But what would happen to her after he was gone?

Their bedroom was full of drawings given to him by the children of the town after he had run out of space in his workshop.

Rose stirred and woke up beside him. Her hair was a mess, she hadn’t dyed it in years now and she was rocking her natural honey blonde, she shivered slightly as the cold air touched her naked skin and she covered with the blankets as she sat up. She curled her body to him, put her head on his shoulder and looked at the hair he was looking at with a sleepy face.

“You’re going gray.” She said with a sleepy smile, still not completely awake. “Soon I’ll be the one taking care of you, grandpa.”

He turned to look at her as he let go of the white hair.

“And you’re not surprised?” He asked.

She frowned adorably but he couldn’t appreciate it completely because of his worries.

“About what?” She asked, confused.

“That I’m going gray and you’re not.” He said

Her frown deepened.

“Why’s that?”

He didn’t say anything, they were so close to the crack that if he spoke he would probably blurt out all of his fears. He had learned when to stop talking because of the truth field.

“How long have we been here?” She asked.

“Too long.” 

And it was true, they had been in this town for far too long but he wasn’t going to tell her the exact time, not now that his worries felt all too real.

“Come on,” he said instead, “it’s almost dawn.”

She nodded and turned to look for warm clothes. The Doctor went to the bell chamber in the meantime, preparing the place like he always did. Rose appeared later, dressed in a pink sweater and jean skirt with tights, a pink blanket covering her from head to toe.

He lit a small fire in the chamber above the clock like he always did and Rose curled up to him for warmth like she always did.

“Well, it’s a standoff.” He said conversationally. “They can’t attack in case I unleash the Time Lords, and I can’t run away, because they’ll burn this planet to stop the Time Lords. Hey, after all these years, I’ve finally found somewhere that needs me to stick around. A town called Christmas. Could’ve been worse.”

She gave a small laugh, still half asleep.

“It’s like you retired.” She said with a smile. “You always wanted that.”

The Doctor wondered if she ever got tired. Of being positive, of being kind, of being brave. She was his ever present beacon of light and even after all this time she was still beside him.

“I was always afraid that I’ll have to see you get old and die one day,” he said as he looked down at his hands, at his wedding band that shone with the reflection of the fire, “now it’s quite the opposite. I’m afraid that I’ll go first and I’ll leave you behind.”

“Never.” She said with a shake of her head. “I’m too stubborn. If you go, I go.”

_ Please, don’t say that, _ the Doctor thought in agony. She’d never have a chance at a normal life as long as she was with him, but hadn’t he taken that from her the moment he took her hand and told her to run?

“And well, you’ll regenerate.” Rose said, unaware of his dark thoughts.

“No, not forever. I can change twelve times. Thirteen versions of me. Thirteen silly Doctors.”

“You never told me that.” She frowned. “But, you are number twelve, right?”

“You’re forgetting your ex-husband.” He said (he was proud of himself that over the years he had managed to sound less and less bitter about that particular subject, probably had to do with the fact that they were married and had a bond.) “I regenerated and kept the same face, remember? I had vanity issues at the time. Twelve regenerations. I can’t ever do it again. This is where I end up. This face, this version of me. We saw this planet in the future, remember? All those graves, one of them mine.” 

And what about Rose? The planet had been completely destroyed when they had seen it in the future. Was one of those graves of her?

“When I die, you should take the TARDIS and leave.” He said.

“No.” Her voice was firm.

“Rose–” He started.

“You always try to push me away!” She said, her voice going up in frustration. “We’ve had this argument for years now! You have to understand that I’m not going to leave you.”

The sun was setting in the distance. The Doctor nodded slowly and didn’t say anything else.

“Can’t you change it? Rewrite everything?” Rose asked.

“You think I’m just going to fly away, abandon everyone?”

“No, I know you won’t. I’m not asking you to.”

“You could.” He said. “You could ask me to run.”

_ Your wish is my command. _

“But I’m not going to.”

“I know.” He said and grabbed her hand, stroking it with his thumb. “There is no one else to protect it. Every life I save is a victory. Every single one.”

Why did it always have to be him? Why was he always fighting someone else’s war? He was so tired and he felt so old. He wanted to sleep and rest. Be surrounded by Rose.

A thunder resonated over the darkening sky.

‘Doctor!’ The holographic face of the Mother Superious appeared over them.

“Ah. Look who’s woken up.”

“What does she want now?” Rose asked annoyed. 

‘The Church of the Silence requests parlay.’ Tasha Len said in her normal cold voice. ‘Your rights and safety are sanctified.’

“I’ll be right up.” The Doctor called out to her.

‘I’m sending a transporter.’

“Nah, don’t bother. I’ve got me motor.”

\-----

Entering the TARDIS after so long felt weird for the Doctor. The smell of oxygen and time surrounded him, and the background humming made his blood pump faster. He had missed this, the sense of belonging, of running away. He entered the flight sequence and the groaning resounded throughout the room.

“You know, now that you’re here you should reroute the phone back to the console.” Rose said.

“Yes, now that you mention it, I never did come around to repair that.” 

They went into the chapel. In the middle of the room was a large table with high backed chairs. Everything was darker than usual, most of the lights were off, the walls were covered in overly decorated rugs and the air smelled slightly off, like something had happened but had been erased somehow.

Tasha was waiting for them and was already sitting at the top of the table. She nodded her head as a greeting but didn’t say anything else. Something was off with her too, she was a cold person but not like this.

They should’ve known it was a trap.

When the eyestalk got out of the Priest’s head they knew they had to escape. Tasha was able to fight the Dalek control for a while and allowed them to run.

“This isn’t a siege any more, it’s a war.” The Doctor said as they escaped hand in hand.

They ran to the TARDIS and the Doctor put her into flight as fast as possible. He could see Rose’s worry plainly in her face and felt her fear through their bond. The ship landed in the middle of the town and they could hear gunshots and people screaming from the inside.

“You know,” said the Doctor casually among the chaos trying to distract her, “we still haven’t got around to go to that Christmas dinner at Sarah Jane’s.”

It was clear for Rose what he was trying to do, so she nodded and went to his side, grabbing his hand and looking into his eyes.

“Maybe one day.”

“You even bought Christmas crackers.” He said.

Rose finally smiled at that.

“You can make it up to me some other time.”

He nodded and turned to look at the buttons on the console.

“Rose, there’s going to be a war out there.” He started saying. “Please–”

Her hand tightened on his.

“No. I made my choice, I’m never going to leave you.” Her voice was firm and unwavering.

Why did she have to be this brave? Rose cradled his face and made him turn to look at her.

“Look at me in the eye and tell me you won’t push me away.” She said. “Promise me that.”

He looked at her and did his best to run away from her eyes.

“I won’t.” He said.

Rose still looked uncertain, still holding his face in her hands.

“I can’t lie to you, we’re too close to the Tower, you know that.” He said, trying to make her believe him.

Rose stood in silence for a few seconds before she nodded.

“Then what do we do?” She asked.

“I need some things from the lab, and you need to grab a sonic from the storage room.”

“My own sonic?” She cheered up slightly.

He held up a finger to her face.

“It’s only borrowed.” He said.

She left the console room running and the Doctor sighed heavily.

He felt old and tired and he didn’t see any other choice than what he was about to do.

He entered a sequence on the TARDIS and exited the ship, leaving Rose behind.

\-----

Rose heard the TARDIS groan as she walked back from the storage room holding the sonic of her past Doctor.

Her pulse rose and a spike of fear travelled through her entire body.

“No, no, no, no.” She murmured as she ran to the console room. “You can’t do this to me again.”

She heard the ship land and she ran towards the doors. When she opened the door she was greeted by the London sky and Sarah Jane’s look of surprise.

\-----

Sarah Jane heard the TARDIS materialize and she ran to her backyard ready to greet her guests back from wherever they had run off to. She saw Rose coming out of the blue police box running, panic clearly written in her face.

The ship started to groan again, marking its departure. Rose turned around in desperation, trying to reach it before it left.

“No!” Rose screamed. “Take me back! Take me back!”

Rose tried to get inside again but the TARDIS was already gone. She fell to the floor on the empty space that the box had occupied just a couple of seconds ago.

“You can’t do this to me again, you always do this.”

Sarah Jane saw Rose cry and scream, and gasped when the girl turned to look at her.

Her eyes were shining gold.

\-----

Rose stood up eventually.

After she had no more tears left to cry, after she had screamed her rage at the empty space the TARDIS had left.

The Doctor had known that the TARDIS couldn’t stay behind with her, that she would do everything in her power to return and that the ship would help her. Her head felt empty, her bond with the ship and the Doctor stretched so far by distance and time that her head hurt. She clutched the sonic of her past Doctor to her chest and cried for what felt like days.

Sarah Jane got her inside the house eventually. She sat her on the sofa and gave her a cup of tea but she felt numb and could barely hold the cup up. She breathed in and out the smell of tea, trying her best to control her breath.

“How long has it been?” Asked Sarah, breaking the silence.

Finally Rose turned to look at her. 

Rose shook her head. “I don’t know, I don’–” She felt like crying again and her throat hurt from the screaming. “Too long. I think, I think it’s been almost a hundred years.”

Sarah gapped at her but Rose barely took notice of her reaction.

“I just– he did it again.” She said as she clutched the cup towards herself. “He pushed me away.” The tears fell down once more.

“What happened?” Sarah asked.

Rose shook her head again and scrubbed her face, cleaning off the tears of her face.

Her eyes landed on the christmas crackers on the table, she picked one up and looked at it as if it held the answer. Decorations filled out the room and the presents she had bought for Sarah, Luke and the Doctor lay beneath the Christmas tree.

“It’s Christmas?” Rose asked and she hated how small her voice sounded in that moment.

Sarah nodded.

“Yes, it’s only been a couple of hours since you left.” She explained to her.

The cracker in her hand was golden and Rose remembered her past Doctor, his smile and that first Christmas they had together.

The sonic was suddenly heavy in her hands. 

_ You have Huon particles running through your body, just like the Heart of the TARDIS, and these particles call out to each other. _

Her eyes widened. Call out to each other, like a homing device.

“Rose?”

Rose grabbed the christmas cracker and went to the yard again, holding the sonic tightly in her hands, a surge of adrenaline running through her body.

She held the sonic close to her chest and closed her eyes, like a prayer. The whirring sound of the sonic started and she thought of the ship, the blue box she called home. She heard Sarah gasp beside her.

The groaning of the time ship was like music to her ears, her head filled with the music of their connection. When Rose opened her eyes she was greeted by the blue police box she loved. 

She ran inside and looked at the time rotor, the lights blinking rapidly above her.

“Help me.” She said.

The TARDIS started to move, the dematerialization sequence starting, the names circling rapidly above the rotor.

Finally the ship landed and Rose got out.

Everything was in flames as people ran to and fro in panic. 

The buildings were destroyed and in flames and she could see the Doctor’s enemies attacking everyone in sight. The snow was tainted in soot and blood and it was difficult to see through the smoke.

The only building that still stood tall was the clock Tower. She looked around herself but couldn’t see signs of the Doctor. She ran to the Tower and then to the Doctor’s workshop where the crack was. If he wasn’t out in the fight, that was the only other place he would be.

The room was different from the last time she had seen it and it surprised her more than it should’ve. There were even more drawings than she remembered and many toys lay on the floor scattered around.

The Doctor was sitting on his velvet chair in front of the crack working on a wooden dog.

“Barnable?” The Doctor called out, his voice different and it made her frown.

“Rose.” She said.

The Doctor dropped the toy to the ground and turned to look around in his chair. Rose gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. His face was wrinkled and his hair was white and thin, his hands shook as he pointed at her and his eyes looked wore down and tired. 

How long had it been? 

She felt her eyes sting and she did her best to fight off the tears. She approached him slowly and kneeled in front of him.

“Hello, Doctor.” She said as she tried for a smile.

“Were you always so young?” He asked her.

Rose nodded and bit her lip, not trusting her words.

He grabbed her hand and brought it to his face, giving it a soft kiss. The tears she had fought so bravely fell from her eyes.

“Why did you do it?” Rose asked in a small, broken voice.

“You deserved a normal life,” he tried to explain, “I thought by separating you from the TARDIS you’d get that.”

She shook her head, she wanted to feel mad, to scream at him for doing this to her again, but she couldn’t, she only felt heartbroken.

“When are you going to understand?” She said. “This is where I want to be, you daft old man.”

“I wanted to give you a chance.”

She still had the christmas cracker in her hand so she held it up and smiled through the tears.

“Merry Christmas.” She said.

He gave a short laugh. “Merry Christmas.”

He grabbed the other end of the cracker and they tried to pull, but his hand wasn’t strong enough. She held his wrist and helped him make the cracker pop. There was a yellow paper crown inside of it and she put it on his head.

“Ah! Is there a joke? Ha?” The Doctor asked.

Rose grabbed the slip of paper from where it had fallen and read it out loud.

“Extract from Thoughts on a Clock by Eric Ritchie junior.” She read. “And now it’s time for one last bow, like all your other selves. Eleven’s hour is over now. The clock is striking twelve’s.”

She lay her head on his lap and did her best not to sob like a child.

“I don’t get it.”

‘Doctor! The Doctor will be brought!’ A Dalek voice resounded over the village and broke Rose out of her grief.

A war was still going in the outside world, a huge Dalek Mothership hovering over the village.

‘The Daleks demand the Doctor.’

A young man came crashing through the doors making Rose jump slightly from her spot.

“They’re here.” the young man said. “The Daleks, we can’t stop them. They want you.”

“Oh, all right, Barnable.” The Doctor said and then asked. “Are you Barnable?”

“No, Doctor.”

“It’s okay, Barnable, don’t worry. I have got a plan.” And then with a wave of his hand said. “Off you pop.”

The young man left to the sounds of explosions and screams of fear outside.

“I haven’t got a plan, but people love it when I say that.” The Doctor said as he slowly stood up from his chair.

“You always do that.” Rose looked at him. “Talk very fast, hope something good happens, take the credit.” 

The Doctor smiled and started to walk towards the doors.

“That’s generally how it works.” He said. “Not this time, though. This is it.”

Rose grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“You can’t!” She argued.

“Yes. We saw the future, Rose.” He put his free hand on her face and smiled gently at her. “This is how it ends.”

“Rewrite it.” She said. “Change the future, you’re always doing it.”

The Doctor shook his head.

“I could have once, when there were Time Lords.” He said. “Not any more.”

He turned again and Rose made to follow him.

“No.” He stopped her. “You’re going to stay here. Promise me you will.”

“No! Why are you always doing this?”

“Because I’ll be keeping you safe.” He said softly. “One last victory. Allow me that. Give me that, My Impossible Rose.”

“You can’t.” Her voice broke.

“Please.”

He wiped away her tears and tottered off up the stairs.

“The trouble with Daleks is, they take so long to say anything.” He said as he left her behind. “Probably die of boredom before they shoot me.”

‘The Doctor is required!’

His back disappeared from her sight and Rose was left alone in the workshop.

She looked at the crack in the wall and approached it.

“Listen to me, you lot. Listen!” She said, all of her rage and pain finally showing. “Help him. Help him change the future. Do something. If you need him so much you have to help him. You’ve been asking a question. His name. I know it. And if you ever want to hear it, if you ever want to come back to this universe, you’ll help him. Help him.”

Rose finally turned away, she missed the crack snapping shut behind her. She ran outside the Tower to join the villagers who were lookin stupefied at the sky as the Daleks hovered above them. The Doctor stood tall in the bell chamber, looking at the ship bravely.

“Sorry I’m a bit slow.” He said nonchalantly. “I may not be at my best right now.”

‘You are dying, Doctor.’ The Dalek voice sounded again.

“Yes, I’m dying. You’ve been trying to kill me for centuries, and here I am, dying of old age.” The Doctor said. “If you want something done, do it yourself.”

‘You will die, and the Time Lords will never return.’

“And yet, you lot still can’t work up the courage to shoot me, can you?” He said mockingly. “You’re still worried I’ve got something up my sleeve. Well, you knock yourselves out, boys. I’ve got nothing this time.”

Flying Daleks fired at the troops on the ground, making the townsfolk scream. And then the crack appeared in the sky shining its white light above everyone, a stripe of golden energy floated from it and entered the Doctor’s mouth. Rose couldn’t see his face clearly from where she was standing but she could feel his surprise through the bond.

‘You will die now, Doctor. This is the end of you.’

The crack disappeared from the sky. Whatever had happened was done now.

‘The rules of regeneration are known.’ The Dalek said. ‘You have expended all your lives.’

“Sorry, what did you say?” The Doctor said, and his voice sounded firmer, more secure. “Did you mention the rules? Now, listen. Bit of advice. Tell me the truth if you think you know it. Lay down the law if you’re feeling brave. But, Daleks, never, ever tell me the rules!”

Rose saw the doctors hands glow from where she was standing, her eyes widened in surprise. He was regenerating.

‘Emergency! Emergency!’ Alarms sounded all through the town. ‘The Doctor is regenerating!

The Doctor held out his arms open in a show of strength. 

“Oh, look at this. Regeneration number thirteen.” He said. “We’re breaking some serious science here, boys. I tell you what, it’s going to be a whopper!”

‘Exterminate! Exterminate the Doctor.’

“You think you can stop me now, Daleks? If you want my life, ha, ha, come and get it!”

The Doctor threw up one arm and fired a big stream of golden energy out of his hand that hit one of the ships directly and brought it down from the sky.

Rose shook herself up from the shock and turned around her. The town people were still looking up, completely frozen in place by fear.

“Everyone inside the building!” Rose yelled, breaking the people out of their stupor. “Stop gawking at him and get in the building!” 

The Doctor extended his other arm and fired off more energy from the other hand as Rose got the survivors into the Tower. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest, she didn’t know a regeneration could be so destructive. The burning remains of flying Daleks tumbled to the ground as the golden light destroyed the ships.

“Love from Gallifrey, boys!” Rose heard the Doctor scream as explosions echoed in the background.

The clock struck Twelve. Then a final blast of energy from his head fired up to the Dalek Mothership. Rose could hear the explosion and feel the shockwave as it ripped open the remaining Daleks on the ground. 

And then, everything was silent.

Rose waited a couple of minutes more before she went to the doors and walked out of the tower, leading the surviving people out to survey the damage.

“Doctor?” She called out.

She walked through the destroyed town. Bodies of different aliens and humans were scattered on the ground, little fires everywhere were burning the remaining houses and trees in the park. The smoke pricked her nose and throat and she coughed as she struggled to breathe.

She saw the TARDIS standing tall amongst the wreckage, her external emergency telephone hanging off its hook and the door open slightly. She grabbed the phone and put it back on its place before going inside, her hands shaking at her sides.

The Doctor’s village clothes were scattered on the floor of the console room, and a nearly empty bowl of fish fingers and custard was placed over on the controls. She heard his footsteps on the stairs approaching her and she turned around, afraid of what she would find. Her bow-tied Doctor smiled at her, his  _ young _ face looking tired but still completely him.

“Doctor.” Rose said with a sigh of relief.

“Rose.” The Doctor tried to walk to her side but a spark of pain showed in his face as he hunched over the controls.

“Doctor!” Rose tried to go to his side but he held up a hand and she stopped.

He did his best to return his breath back to normal and turned to her.

“Hello.” He said with a smile.

“You’re young, you haven’t changed. How?” She asked.

The Doctor shook his head.

“I’m just resetting.” He explained. “It’s starting. A whole new regeneration cycle.Taking a bit longer. Just breaking it in.” Again, his face contorted in pain. “Oh. Oh. Gah.”

He looked at the controls and started the TARDIS’ engines.

“It all just disappears, doesn’t it?” He said. “Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now.”

His hands were glowing and Rose knew this would be the last time she saw this Doctor.

“Wait!” She tried to go to his side but the Doctor raised a hand to stop her. 

“Stay back!” He screamed at her.

“I haven’t said goodbye.” She said and her voice broke slightly at the end.

He smiled at her.

“It’s okay, Rose. It’s not a goodbye.” He said. “Times change, and so must I. We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s okay, that’s good, you’ve got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me.”

The Doctor untied his bow tie and dropped it on the floor. His face showed how much pain he was in.

“I love you.” Rose said, because this would be the last time this Doctor heard her say it and she needed him to hear it.

He extended his hand towards her.

And then the Doctor jerked backwards, exploding in regeneration energy and destroying part of the ship. The TARDIS shook and Rose covered her eyes. Golden light engulfed the Doctor and she couldn’t look at it from its brightness. His young features disappeared, his brown hair and green eyes were gone and then in front of her was a tall, grey haired, piercing blue eyes man. Rose stared in shock at the new, new, new, new Doctor that stood in front of her.

His eyes were clouded in confusion and that slight glint of madness she remembered from the last time she had regenerated in front of her. The New Doctor and Rose stared into each other’s eyes, then he jerked back and forward again.

“Kidneys! I’ve got new kidneys.” The New Doctor said in a thick Scottish accent (where did that come from?) “I don’t like the colour.”

“Of your kidneys?” Rose asked in confusion, which didn’t help her shock.

The TARDIS started lurching from side to side. Rose held onto the controls feeling a sense of déjà vu so strong she wanted to scream.

“What’s going on?” She asked, a little bit frightened.

_ Not again, _ she thought,  _ please not again. _

His eyes were manic as he looked at her and Rose shivered.

“We’re probably crashing. Stay calm.” He answered and then. “Just one question. Do you happen to know how to fly this thing?”

And then they were crashing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've combined the past chapter and this one into one. But that cliffhanger, though.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading this work and accompanying me through the process. It was such a long project (and so self indulgent) that took me by surprise and I'm glad you liked it and read it 'till the end. Specially I want to thank all the people that left comments in every single chapter, you kept me going.
> 
> I'm writing the sequel as we speak but I want to finish it before posting so I'm not sure when that'll happen, I'm just excited because I'm finally writing with 12 and I just love him so much. And believe me when I say next work it's going to be a rollercoaster of feelings. I'm combining series 8 and 9 in the next work so it is taking me longer to finish. 
> 
> Don't be afraid to hmu in any of my other accounts.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thegeekproblem)   
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